Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Have you ever been "outed" by someone as transgender?  How did it turn out?

I am reminded of a scene in some television show or movie where a gay man was confronting a gay man who outed him.  He was very unhappy.  The man who outed him said something like, "Hey, I can tell you are upset, sorry, but later you will think I did you a favor."  How incredulous the first guy must have felt at the moment about that comment!

If you were outed, was it by a friend (who is now possibly a former friend), a family member, a troublemaker or hater, someone at church, or perhaps someone at school or work?

Chrissy

This year a trick-or-treater pointed at me and said "You're a boy!".... thanks, kid, let me smash
that Mars bar for you.  >:-)

Kind of. Once at a restauarant a friend asked what gender I identify as in front of a buser taking his time clearing the table... I was a bit confused why my friend would ask after I had already explained earlier and also this time in front of a stranger.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

let's see, I slowly came out to everyone at the same time so being 'outed' to immediate family, friends, acquaintances doesn't count.

The only case of being 'outed' to someone that didn't know .. my wife did it. I recounted it here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,241264.0.html

It turned out great :)

For me, pre-emptively outing myself worked the best.

Quote from: Devlyn on December 02, 2018, 06:24:59 AM
.... thanks, kid, let me smash that Mars bar for you.  >:-)

       Kids are the best! Was in Burger King play-place with 3yr old when another finally asked, very inquisitively, "are you a boy?" Took me off guard, don't ever cross-dress, so I replied "sometimes" and she seemed quite satisfied with that.

      After greeting oldest nephew and girlfriend in Las Vegas last week sister later explained to me how she told them I was "transgender" and, upon challenging her as to why, she said nephew, being almost bald with shaved head, made some comment about my "beautiful long hair"?  I'm 6'0", he is 6'4" balding and, noticing girlfriend has a ponytail wrapped same as mine, was amazed to see she was also TALLER than me!

Ever since pointing out to sister how every tall girl (noticed a lot) "must be transgender" asked her am I only true woman in family(?) 'cause rest of them are "short"! lol Not most exquisite logic but think she got point re "outing me"; prefer to let people draw own conclusions instead.

Quote from: Kiera on December 02, 2018, 11:20:19 AM
       Kids are the best! Was in Burger King play-place with 3yr old when another finally asked, very inquisitively, "are you a boy?" Took me off guard, don't ever cross-dress, so I replied "sometimes" and she seemed quite satisfied with that.

      After greeting oldest nephew and girlfriend in Las Vegas last week sister later explained to me how she told them I was "transgender" and, upon challenging her as to why, she said nephew, being almost bald with shaved head, made some comment about my "beautiful long hair"?  I'm 6'0", he is 6'4" balding and, noticing girlfriend has a ponytail wrapped same as mine, was amazed to see she was also TALLER than me!

Ever since pointing out to sister how every tall girl (noticed a lot) "must be transgender" asked her am I only true woman in family(?) 'cause rest of them are "short"! lol Not most exquisite logic but think she got point re "outing me"; prefer to let people draw own conclusions instead.

Indeed! You see them looking at you, and you can almost see the question bubbling up in them.  :D

Did some part-time work for an organisation a year back, long before coming out.

Saw an old colleague from that work place in a social setting, and it seemed right to come out to him. He seemed very supportive.

He also said I might be needed again at the organisation for similar work.

Two weeks later I find myself CC'd into an email where my old colleague completely "outs" me by referring to me by my new name and correct pronoun while saying I might be available to work for them again.

Now, I think he had good intentions and was trying to be affirming, but the organisation is not known for it's progressive beliefs. (Think conservative Christian.)

When I originally told him my journey, I naively had no idea that this situation could occur. (I still currently go in "man-mode" on a as needed basis for work. Luckily I work from home most of the time and those situations are the exception.)

Got a funny feeling I won't be asked to work at that place again.

~Dee.

Quote from: Allison S on December 02, 2018, 07:26:44 AM
Kind of. Once at a restauarant a friend asked what gender I identify as in front of a buser taking his time clearing the table... I was a bit confused why my friend would ask after I had already explained earlier and also this time in front of a stranger.

Allison, even friends can surprise in a bad way. Did you ask them "why did you say that?" afterwards?

~Dee.

Quote from: dee82 on December 03, 2018, 04:12:58 AM
Allison, even friends can surprise in a bad way. Did you ask them "why did you say that?" afterwards?

~Dee.

Oh I confronted him about it for sure. He seemed to genuinely feel bad and apologized so I accepted that. We're getting together sometime soon and I think now that I'm more clear that I'm a trans woman, I'm sure he'll be more understanding...

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

Quote from: dee82 on December 03, 2018, 04:12:58 AM
Allison, even friends can surprise in a bad way

       Ah  ;D ;D but ya never know! Maybe that non progressive, "conservative Christian" org will see fit to use you anyway Alison? Unsure why myself but joined up with a Weds night "Men's Group" @ church 'round corner from me who advertise as "Not for Purfect People" ("the rest of us" all being sinners?) so figured lol who better qualified than me?

       Well, find group rather dull, BORING but with everyone else being very welcoming and friendly decided, if ever gonna change "closed minds", we need to take these people at their "Word" and confront their issues head on!

Almost...
I'll just quote an old post of mine:

QuoteI had a really embarassing meeting at the weekend with our landlord and her mother. We knew our landlord for 3 years now but this was the first time when we met her mother.

I did not come out to our landlord yet so she thinks that we are a heterosexual couple with my girlfriend so I tried to be as manly as I could be for the meeting because I really did not want to come out at this time.

I introduced myself to our landlord's mother as <male_birth_name>.

After the introductions her first words were along the lines of "...oh girls eat some cake and fruit..."

It seemed that nobody noticed the "girls" part apart from me, but I knew that this meeting will be interesting.

We finished discussing the possibilities and then she asked us if my girlfriend and I are relatives. We were a little puzzled and answered no and our landlord quickly added that "How could they be relatives, they are a couple, they live together for years!"

Our landlord clearly missed the fact that her mother seen both of as girls and at that point she was a little shocked that we are a lesbian couple, but she took it alright, she didn't ask any more questions about the topic.

And when I thought it couldn't get more exciting my girlfriend made the mistake of using my female name when talking about me. I'm quite good at hiding my emotions but I almost panicked and quickly tried to steer the conversation in an other direction so they wouldn't have time to process what they heard.

Fortunately our landlord had some other things on her mind so hopefully she missed all the strange parts of the conversation but I think she had her own strange conversation with her mother afterwards.

yes in the 80's, i lost all my friends. they weren't the best of people n I'm better off, but it still devastated me.

I was outted at work to disastrous effect in the form of being fired on trumped up aligations after my boss found out I was trans because they made me use my birth certificate which at the time had not yet been reissued. My boss all the first month was hitting on me and he even made a full on pass. At this point I had already completed my SRS and had filed for my birth certificate with California but it was straight up sexual harassment.

I do t know what prompted him but there is no way he could have found out without looking at the paperwork. Then he calls me on the phone after work going on and on about how could I not tell him and all this time he has been putting the moves on a guy. It was so upsetting I spoke to the president and threatened to sue. They fired me shortly after that in a matter of weeks. I ended up filing with the EEOC but the woman handling the case rejected me and I didn't have the money to contest it.

This is why our trans rights that Obama created for us are so important. I would have been able to sue but my firing was based on gender identity and not protected.

However I found a lawyer that agreed to run them through the ringer and while it didn't make it to court because my ex-employer went belly up I did have the satisfaction of breaking that damn company in legal expenses and had the last laugh with no cost out of pocket except the cost of the motions that the court house charged which was peanuts.

Hopefully they learned a valuable lesson.

I was outed by my own siblings out in public on our get together. My brother called me "he" and my sister used my male name. Oh the humility. I wanted to shrivel up and disappear.

Lisa

A few times...

Fairly early in my transition, I was at a costume party. This was after about 2 months on Hormones. and I was not out. For whatever reason, I decided to go as myself, blonde long hair wig, dress, heel boots. many people - who knew me from earlier that day when I helped set up the party - did not even recognize me. I was dressed for a party but not in a costume.
Long story short, a few hours into the party, some drunk guy walked up to me and blurted out: "Are you transgender?" which really knocked me off my heels. Initially, I had no idea how to respond so I just danced around the topic. Tunes out, his sibling just came out as mtf and he was sensitive to the topic... Lucky enough, no one heard it and the guy was drunk enough that he will have forgotten about it by the end of the evening.

One lady at one of my customers suddenly complimented me on my boots... yeah, female boots and she knew right then but kept it to herself.

The most recent was through a picture on social media which some of my wife's coworkers saw. Apparently, it was a "hot topic" at work for a few days. Of course, they looked deeper and found my gender set to "female" too...

I did get the "are you a boy or girl" question a few times. Usually, I do just respond by asking what they think. For the most part, they get it right but one kid was insisting I am a boy due to my voice. I was puzzled and stopped responding, now I would just say my voice is sick.

While I got outed, so far the consequences have been limited.

Not so much 'outed' but someone in our friend group at uni informed someone else there was a trans person coming to our game nights.

I got a lot of >-bleeped-< from said person and even got accused of being a pedophile because of it, but then they got exorcised from the group so whose the real winner here?

Rather than trying to explain how I was outed and how it very fortunately and
happily turned out, please go to the following links to my Hunted Prey thread
and read my following 2 posts from last Spring... along with other posts before and after....

***Hint:   Your dentist knows !
Danielle

April 11,2018
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2123977.html#msg2123977

May 02, 2018
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2131853.html#msg2131853

Danielle, I've meant to ask you a question, Does that apply if one transitions before natural puberty and takes estrogen instead of T during the natural puberty period? Hope that makes sense?

Lisa

Quote from: Lisa89125 on December 15, 2018, 07:05:37 PM
Danielle, I've meant to ask you a question, Does that apply if one transitions before natural puberty and takes estrogen instead of T during the natural puberty period? Hope that makes sense?

Lisa

@Lisa89125
Dear Lisa:
I do not have an answer for you... but I am guessing that for a MTF if full HRT and transition takes place very early well before puberty that many body features (obviously not all) would be identical to cis-women.
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, Thanks for the reply.

It's an interesting question and one I will probably ponder for a while. I couldn't believe it when you said your dentist knew. Like say what? They can tell just from our mouths. :o It all makes sense though.  :-\

Lisa

Quote from: Lisa89125 on December 15, 2018, 07:05:37 PM
Danielle, I've meant to ask you a question, Does that apply if one transitions before natural puberty and takes estrogen instead of T during the natural puberty period? Hope that makes sense?

Lisa

Have to ever watched the show I Am Jazz? From what I can gather she was put on Puberty blockers for several years very young, then started HRT in her teens. (Please correct me if I'm wrong). The results? She looks and sounds like a typical teenage girl. From what I've seen she's physically a female except for her micro penis. In one season she was told due to the lack of penile development she would have to go with the colon(I dont recall the exact name) vaginoplasty. She was worried about the smell and decided to consult with other surgeons. Unfortunately, that was the last episode I watched.

So, if you ask me, it appears that indeed starting puberty blockers and HRT early enough will give you very similar body structure. I would be interested to see if none structure, such as her hips, match a cis female.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

Melinda, I've been Watching her show since season 1. Honestly, If it was not for her show I don't think I would have ever confronted my own GID. Her show was the turning point in my life and the first real exposure to transgenderism. She's had her GCS and a good portion of it will be in the new season which starts on Jan 1 on TLC. She has a youtube channel with some updates on her healing and how she's doing since having GCS. I've wondered too if her hips are the same as a cis female? She's lucky if she does.

Lisa

Hello.  @Lisa89125

GID is no longer used.  It is now called "gender dysphoria" because being transgender is not a mental disorder. See DSM Version 5 (2013).  There have also been a couple more changes.

The word "transexualism" is not used either. This is because to qualify as an "ism", it must meet criteria specifically:  "a distinctive practice, system, or philosophy, typically a political ideology or an artistic movement.", and "a distinctive doctrine, cause, or theory. An oppressive and especially discriminatory attitude or belief."

Changes:

DSM 5 (2013) ∗...from transsexualism to gender dysphoria

ICD 11 Alpha  ∗...from transsexualism to gender incongruence
                         ∗...move from mental disorders chapter to new chapter including sexual health

In DSM 6, No diagnostic code  --YAY!!!

Now I know that you may be thinking that I am being the word police, and I guess you would be right. I am a firm believer that our rights, recognition, and livelihoods depend on being clear that we do not have mental disorders. We are not mentally ill.  By using outdated wording, it does a disservice to all the work that has been done. This means a lot to me, and I come from a place of sincerity for this post. Best. Holly

@HollyKay
Dear Holly:
    I am happy to see that you have joined Susan's Place and that you have submitted your first several postings here on various threads around the Forums.
    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    There is information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)	Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)	Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)	News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)	Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

@HollyKay     
Oh, and another thing Holly...
Please plan to find your way to the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) so that other members will be aware of your arrival.
     
Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle
NOTE:  Now I will let everyone have the thread back so you can pursue the answers you are seeking.

Thank you, "Alaskan" Danielle!  I have actually read this forum for several years. I finally realized that I should really offer up some of my perspectives on surgeries, life experiences, and transitioning in general.  I am very happy to be here. Holly

Quote from: HollyKay on January 15, 2019, 06:39:39 PM
The word "transexualism" is not used either. This is because to qualify as an "ism", it must meet criteria specifically:  "a distinctive practice, system, or philosophy, typically a political ideology or an artistic movement.", and "a distinctive doctrine, cause, or theory. An oppressive and especially discriminatory attitude or belief."

Wearing my own language police hat, I have to say hang on a minute! You seem to have that backwards? Transsexualism is an ism. It is "transgenderism" that is not because it is absolutely nowhere close to a distinctive anything. That's why transgender is said to be an umbrella term because it includes just about everything under the sun.

Transsexual fell from disfavor for political reasons at the behest of what I sometimes cynically refer to as the Transgender Taliban that others have more contemptuously referred to the Transgender Borg Collective. Because transsexual has the word sex in it and such impolite things must be distanced from lest the general public consider us all sexual deviants and perverts and the fact that the porn industry picked up the word and ran with it because it does have the word sex in it, delicate sensibilities, political correctness and inclusivity of "everything under the sun" is why transgender is the term of the day preferred by some but certainly not by all.

Transsexual is still widely used by the medical profession and in research communities to refer to those persons that actually "change sex" i.e. have SRS, an acronym also diminished for having the word sex in it politically motivated to be replaced with things like GCS, GRS, GAS, etc. This is a unique and distinctive group that indeed represents an ism. Furthermore, "transsexuals" has always been used as a noun further denoting ism-ness while "transgenders" used as a noun is considered grammatically incorrect because it's an adjective. Go figure?

The more encompassing term of gender dysphoria was coined in a 1974 paper by Dr. Donald Laub out of Stanford realizing that many people and in fact most people presenting for treatment fell outside of the strict gatekeeping criteria at the time for being transsexual but could be helped nevertheless. This concept rapidly grew in acceptance and the term Gender Dysphoria Syndrome was frequently used until Gender Identity Disorder entered the DSM in 1980.

For what it's worth, I never have and never will use transgender as a self-descriptive term as gender is something as a trans kid I have never transed and having my own sensibilities, prefer to distance myself from the vagueness and confusion of the word's meaning that is being equated by many in today's popular culture to mean a woman with a penis. Transsexual is something that better describes my experience as the outwardly and observable sex of my body as female when I'm naked is what was transed, like nearly 42 years ago.

QuoteIn DSM 6, No diagnostic code  --YAY!!!

Y'all thinking about insurance coverage for medical care darn well better hope there's a diagnostic code for something somewhere or you're going to be SOL.


<edit by moderator>

That should have read "transgenderism", thanks for catching that. Not that I believe that I'm wrong with either "ism".  I understand that each person has a right to self identify, and should therefore be entitled to the best word that they identify with, without inadvertently making a comment that is derogatory. I use transgender myself, and I have heard of other descriptors from other people like "non-cisgender", and a few others. I just go with it. I am one of those folks that the word transsexual fell out of favour with for several reasons, which you do clearly have a solid grasp on from your post, so no need to reiterate. The one other reason is because I believe that it is trans* folks, who should be choosing the words that best describe themselves, not some doctor that coined the phrase during a time of medical ignorance. But that's a side note. Transsexual, to me at least is someone who is trans-amorous (sexually attracted to trans people). But my opinions are again different from others. Bisexual, Pansexual, Heterosexual, Transexual....You get the point. Doesn't make me right, just my opinion.

Getting back on track, transexualism by my understanding is not a thing for the dictionary definition of "ism".  Regardless of my personal beliefs, that still remains.  I could explain how it is none of the things listed in the definition, but that may be lengthy and time consuming, and serve no other purpose than to demonstrate my own stubbornness.  Although people have tried to use transgender as a noun, it simply isn't.  Although people have used transexual as a noun, and for a long time, It has yet to be understood why. I imagine for the same reasons why people try to say the made up word "transgenders", but who knows. One thing to mention is that we also don't say "transgendered" because it isn't something that has happened to me, I was born this way.  Whether you identify as transgender or transexual, neither are nouns. According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary both are adjectives. 

For what it is worth, some form of incongruent is better than transgender, to describe myself. Mostly because I never changed my gender, I have always been the gender that I am. But new understandings pave way for new ways to describe folks. Let's wait and see. I am always subject to correction and change of opinion.

I think it is completely okay for you to say "I am transexual". I may argue with your choice of words if you said: "I  am a transexual", though. Hopefully in my rambling I have been clear on why, though. (On the subject of word police that is). 

I've never heard the terms "Transgender Taliban" or the Transgender Borg Collective".  I would, given the choice, go with the latter.  Mostly because "We are transgender. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile". LOL.  😎

I've enjoyed reading your views on things.  FYI, insurance companies will figure something out.  I wouldn't worry. They will likely code it like they do now. They don't care about being politically correct, they just want it to do what they ask it to.  Anyways, thanks for catching that typo, and for the chat. Sorry for hijacking the thread, perhaps that does make me a Transgender Taliban! 


<edit by moderator>

Yes I have. My dad outed me. I had been at a friends house and used her electric rollers to curl my hair and had tried out her new liquid eyeliner. When I got home my mom started asking me what I did to my hair, that it made me look more like a girl, why was I wearing eyeliner, blah,blah. Then my dad asked me if I wanted to be a girl. He told me if I did that it was ok but that I needed to get it done while I was young. Two months later I was in therapy and had started hrt. So the outcome was good.

On 2 occasions people I had gone to school with outed me to Tristan when they saw us in public. In both cases these people went out of their way to tell Tristan I was trans. Of course he already knew that so no damage done except for me being embarrassed. The first time we were at the mall and this stupid girl I went to school with happened to be there with two other girls I also went to school with. She came over to us and said to Tristan " I thought you might want to know your "girlfriend" , and she did air quotes when she said it, used to be a boy. His name was Julian. We went to school with him." And she made sure to stress "him".  Tristan said he knew everything he needed to know about me. She snorted and said " fine, if you want to be with something like that"! Tristan said " pretty uppity for a swamp donkey, aren't you love"? That made the 2 girls she was with start laughing as well as me,  and she scampered away quickly.

The second incident happened when we were in line at a theater. This time it was a guy I went to school with and his girlfriend. He came up to Tristan, pointed at me and said " that's really a guy dude. Thought you should know". Tristan said " she's not a guy, she's a trans girl". The guy said " well as long as you know she has a Dick or if she doesn't now she did have one". Tristan said " you need to shut up and get out of my face. If you have anything else to say we can talk outside. Got anything else to say mate?....didn't think so". The guy shut up and left quickly.

I really don't know why people feel the need to out a trans person. Not only is it mean but it's potentially dangerous. If Tristan had not known I was trans I could have been in extreme danger. Tristan is 6'5 and very muscular. He could have totally destroyed me if he hadn't known I was trans and got pissed off over finding out I was. People really need to stop and think about what they could cause by outing a trans person.

Yes.
My ex felt like she was lying to her family and kids. (even though I made it clear from day 1 I didn't want to disclose my status) she went ahead and told everyone anyway which was brilliant. Many things have happened and she has made me resent and hate her.
At first she seemed understanding and towards the end it seemed as if she was battling with it. I personally don't even think about my transition or anything like that. I just live my life. But her actions and certain circumstances regarding her has brought my disphoria back. I haven't been disphoric for 3/4 years and I've been transitioning for  4/5 years now so that's messed me up big time.

Yes;
I have been outed thrice.

The first time it happened in Oxford Street outside Selfridges. I was standing waiting for a bus when some Eastern European kid panhandling, suddenly shouted at the top of his voice -this is a man (I had a summer dress on, high heels etc), because I would not give him any change. I have no idea what caused it as I passed pretty well then. I just turned and walked across the street disappearing into the throng of people and took a tube instead from Bond St station.

The second time was in Exeter and it was quite by chance. I was crossing the road near Central station on my way to my beauty therapist for some Electrolysis and suddenly there was a big gust of wind and my dress blew up and to make matters much worse, my wig come off my head and I had to run (in heels) to grab it. Unfortunately there was a group of  young men in a car that had stopped to let me across the pedestrian crossing who leaned out of the car shouting obscenities. I literally grabbed my wig up and ran into my beauticians  and promptly burst into tears.

The third time was more consequential. Some 30 years ago I lived full time in Milton Keynes. I had been living  as a woman by then for a couple of years and was working for a UK bank as a Legal secretary in their main Admin office. The group of girls on my floor invited me to go out to a night club  on a Friday night and towards the end of the evening  I was on the dance floor (heels discarded) and the music changed to a low number upon which one of the young men decided he wanted to get close and personal. It had a lovely night with the girls and I had too much white wine, anyway we got too close and he had "wandering hands syndrome" and discovered something that wasn't supposed to be there. Nothing was said at the time, but the following two weeks the whispering campaign started and eventually I got called up  before HR and was asked straight out was I a TS. I couldn't deny it, so said yes. I then showed them my carry letter from the GIC in Hammersmith, which explained that as part of my transition I had to wear female clothes. They wanted to know why I had not disclosed it when I was hired. I said would you have hired me if you had known. The HR lady said the answer was No!. I asked why now , was my work of poor quality. They said not at all, in fact my female boss (who knew as I had told her), was full of my praises  and said I was both hardworking and a well adjusted young woman who always dressed both modestly and  behaved perfectly. However all that was in vain as I got fired. The end result was no reference and all my hard work  at transitioning destroyed in an instance.. Basically in the end I was forced to de-transition. Thats why  some 30 years on I am on my second transition.

Judith Lynn

@judithlynn, I'm so sorry that happened to you!

I'm wondering if the OP means after transitioning or before or all situations.

I've been outed by people I know at least four times.

First time was that I used to get my cousin to shop with me so I could gather some form of wardrobe before I announced to my family and transitioned.  Her mom kept pressing her on why I was spending so much time shopping with her and she finally broke down and told her mom.  It wasn't long after that I was getting "looks" at family gatherings.  She told me what had happened and I wrote my coming-out letter.  Most of my family was supportive.

When I told my best friend of almost two decades, he immediately told his girlfriend.  I felt an awkwardness when I saw her the few more times I did (true to form, their relationship didn't last much longer...a pattern for him).

Next was when my eventual husband moved to my state.  He basically got off of a plane and we went to my parents' house for my mom's doctoral graduation party.  My dad went around introducing me as my new (3-years by then), legal name, but added, "You may have known him as XX."  He wasn't being malicious in any way, but he did not understand how embarrassing it was.

Finally, about a year before my husband and I married, he told his brother, who he'd been dreading telling as he was afraid to lose his one remaining brother that he talked to and was friends with.  His brother promptly told his daughter, who, for being from the South is exceptionally open-minded.  No harm was done, but it was still completely inconsiderate of him (similar to my ex-friend).

Long, long, long before transition, when I was in middle school or so, my mom found an article of clothing that I should not have had, according to society.  I admit I had stolen it from one of my cousins on a recent family trip.  She asked me if I wanted to be a girl.  Very meekly, I said, "No..."  I wish she had been like an earlier poster above that said her father was supportive and it led to her transitioning within months.  My mom doubted, but gladly accepted my answer and forgot about the entire situation to this day.  I've brought it up to her in the last year or so and she says she doesn't remember it at all.  Oh, how things could have been different!