Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey, im currently 21 years old., I'm soon to transitioning MtF (I really hope its sometime in 2019). I was wondering how would HRT would effect my face, body, actions, personality ect? (FTM advice would be great too)

As of right now My face looks slightly feminine despite the facial hair though I do have some masculine features..  :( (As for my face detail I have a slight asymmetrical jaw on the right).

I was hoping to seek some advice from other MTF people on here that would be greatly appreciated.

------------------------

For those who want to read further

for 12 years i've been suffering depression and as of November this year it's gotten severely worse. (to the point of thinking of killing myself) So on the 30th of November I checked in to a GP and told him everything.. I could have cried but due to the depression i'm just numb really to emotion..

For over 12 years i've been hiding this part of me and it really has gotten to a point where i just simply cant hide it anymore. I'm scared to come out to my family, Mostly my friends. My mum would be supportive and my dad... Well he would be supportive but it would just be awkward. As for my brothers idk...

my face is well known around my city, country.. i dont want to say why i'm well known but i'd say 100k, 250k people know what my face looks like... (I have been kinda getting online bullied for years.. Buut i've learned to adapt to this situation  :P though I'd say due to this kind of situation I really, really, really can't let a lot of people know... It scares me so much to think what i'd do if so many know about this situation.. Due to trans being frowned upon in so many places.)

When I do go on HRT I would still be me.. I'd wear the same clothes, shoes, have the same style.. The only thing that would change is my appearance (I'm still attracted to women. I've tried looking at... well same sex stuff so im not gay). I plan on coming out as Emma sometime next year and i'd really like advice on this complicated situation. I'm legit petrified about all of this and if i dont get on hrt before my 22nd I don't know what I'd do. I'm due a phone call this year at the GIC (Gender Identity clinic). What would I expect? Would i get put on T-Blockers, would they not give me anything if i say i'd like to store my sperm in a sperm bank.. (I don't have enough money).

Anyway thank you so much for reading. ;D

Hi, Emma!

Welcome to Susan's Place.

It is quite normal to feel scared.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be a public figure and transition.  It sounds like you are in the U.K., where you should have some legal protection.

It is good that you think your parents will be supportive.  Awkward is allowed, and is kind of normal, but supportive is important.

As for what to expect on HRT, well, you will see the expression YMMV a lot.  It means Your Mileage May Vary.  In other words, while there are general effects that most people experience, there is no telling ahead of time how your body will react.

Usually, the first thing MTF transitioners experience is tingling of the nipples, as your breast buds start to wake up.  Breast growth follows for three years or so, at a rate that no one can predict.  Your skin will get softer.  Soft-tissue facial features like lips and eyes may change their appearance.  Body hair growth will slow or stop.  Facial hair, not so much, unfortunately.

I will let some of our British members fill you in on the GICs.  My understanding is that patience is required.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)	Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)	Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Thank you so much for sharing some of your knowledge on this subject. I'll be sure to check the link

Greetings, Emma!

I just wanted to say, I'm new here as well and at a similar early stage of transition. I'm a bit older than you at 29, but I wanted to wish you luck on everything! I'm anticipating my first appointment here in a month as well, and I do not know where things will go from there. I could be referred to a specialist, ect. and that's causing all sorts of questions and worries. So, just letting you know there are others in a similar place in their journey for a little solidarity :). I hope things go well with the phone call and wish you the best of luck!

<3 Hannah

Hey, Hannah.

thanks for putting me at ease for a bit :) I've been so caught up and worried about myself and my situation that I've forgotten that i'm not alone. Also huge congratulations on getting a confirmation appointment! I hope everything goes well for you on your journey. ;D

Do you have any tips on how to stay patient? lol. I'm in such a wreck right now. Everyday that passes is another day lost

Quote from: EmmaYui on December 03, 2018, 04:06:02 AM
Hey, im currently 21 years old., I'm soon to transitioning MtF (I really hope its sometime in 2019). I was wondering how would HRT would effect my face, body, actions, personality ect? (FTM advice would be great too)

As of right now My face looks slightly feminine despite the facial hair though I do have some masculine features..  :( (As for my face detail I have a slight asymmetrical jaw on the right).

I was hoping to seek some advice from other MTF people on here that would be greatly appreciated.

------------------------

For those who want to read further

for 12 years i've been suffering depression and as of November this year it's gotten severely worse. (to the point of thinking of killing myself) So on the 30th of November I checked in to a GP and told him everything.. I could have cried but due to the depression i'm just numb really to emotion..

For over 12 years i've been hiding this part of me and it really has gotten to a point where i just simply cant hide it anymore. I'm scared to come out to my family, Mostly my friends. My mum would be supportive and my dad... Well he would be supportive but it would just be awkward. As for my brothers idk...

my face is well known around my city, country.. i dont want to say why i'm well known but i'd say 100k, 250k people know what my face looks like... (I have been kinda getting online bullied for years.. Buut i've learned to adapt to this situation  [emoji14] though I'd say due to this kind of situation I really, really, really can't let a lot of people know... It scares me so much to think what i'd do if so many know about this situation.. Due to trans being frowned upon in so many places.)

When I do go on HRT I would still be me.. I'd wear the same clothes, shoes, have the same style.. The only thing that would change is my appearance (I'm still attracted to women. I've tried looking at... well same sex stuff so im not gay). I plan on coming out as Emma sometime next year and i'd really like advice on this complicated situation. I'm legit petrified about all of this and if i dont get on hrt before my 22nd I don't know what I'd do. I'm due a phone call this year at the GIC (Gender Identity clinic). What would I expect? Would i get put on T-Blockers, would they not give me anything if i say i'd like to store my sperm in a sperm bank.. (I don't have enough money).

Anyway thank you so much for reading. ;D

Keeping your options open for starting a family is very significant. Family can be the most satisfying thing ever. Also not suppressing the feminine personality is important too. Just be authentic if you can.

HRT can really be a life saver but make sure you keep a critical mind.

Good psychiatrist & psychologist can help you dig deep to uncover the drivers behind  your angst, unease & dissatisfaction.

Kindest regards, Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Hello EmmaYui and HannahCeleste

I note you are 21 and 29 respectively whereas I am much older at 63. But it appears like me you may be from UK as you refer to Gender Identity Clinic. I and many other UK Members of Susans decided to go private with GenderGP as I/we don't consider British NHS adequately funded for transgender care. However I have a "Shared Care Agreement" with my NHSGP whom I see regularly.

On this HRT Board you will find many stories of our HRT journeys and I attach mine below (which I shall be updating mid-December).

I wish you both the best of luck in being able to start HRT soon and I wish you both every happiness and success after starting it.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,241374.0.html

Hugs

Pamela

@Emma

Thank you! I hope things go well for you, too. As far as waiting goes, I'll just be straight forward, I meditate :). Whenever I notice my mind is wandering to what will happen in the future, I find something to focus on in the present. For example, today I've been worried about how transition will go. That is a long way away. To bring my mind back to the present, I'll post here, or work on a detailed project I'm doing, anything like that. The key is to find something engaging you can focus on in the here and the now.

Also, I am day-dreamer, and not in a good way necessarily. Most of the time I find I'll have expectations for how things will work out, and they rarely play out in exactly that way. So, especially when I'm thinking about bad things happening in the future, I remind myself that I cannot predict how it will play out, and that helps me stick to the present.

I hope that helps! Maybe check out the Spirituality thread? I haven't been there myself yet, but I imagine you could find similar suggestions.

@pamelatransuk Thank you! I'll take a look at the resources, and I appreciate your sharing your experience.

We have a Before & After thread here at Susan's Place. It hasn't been active in a while, so you may have to search for it.

There are many amazing B & A pictures posted there including my own.

As for how HRT affects your personality, many of us have reported a calmer, more peaceful outlook on life. When your inner self image matches your body, it is amazing. HRT is a very important step in that direction.

Hey guys. Thanks so much for sharing some information on this topic  :) i'll reply to each of you on this one post  :angel:

Hey, Kirstene

Thank you for the feed back. I have scheduled an appointment with a sperm bank. It's pricey, though I can afford it. As for the critical mind I can understand that point too. But really hard to have a stable mindset without having a mini-breakdown about waiting. The only thing I'm scared of is the time I'm losing.

Male puberty starts to shut down between age 22 - 26 after that I dont know.. I know everyone else here are starting older.. But it's just that anxiety I cant shake off.
Again thank you so much for your feed back  ^-^

Hey, pam.

Thanks for taking the time to write. How much would the Shared Care Agreement thing cost? Like I really want to move this forward and be on some sort of pills in 4 months? I don't think I could wait for 12 - 16 months I just cant process that.

Also I wish you the best of luck on your HRT journey I'm looking forward to the update! ^-^ I'll be looking forward to follow your journey further. thank you  ;D

Hey, Hannah.

Thank you! I'll try meditating i'm guilty of thinking of the future myself (I always tend to think 5 steps ahead but thats only work related. Thinking of my personal life what i'm bad at doing lol) :P I'm glad me and you are on the same page here. It really is a scary thing isn't it?

Though we are both day dreamers I can confess to me being a bad day dreamer too ;D I'll try and stay optimistic for the both of us! Also what is the "Spirituality thread"? lol I'm still learning how to use this full site just now. I can't even make a proper account yet.

Hey, Dani!

Where would I find the Before and After Thread? sorry I tried to find it but this site is still confusing to me.  :) I'd love to see your before and after pictures as well as many others. Also I agree HRT is an important step to take. I'm just disappointing in myself for not going to a GP 10 years ago. Not a day goes by I don't think about it..

I know this is a long post sorry. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to reply and share information on this. I really am grateful  ^-^

Thank you Emma for your kind words.

As you state you would have to wait 16 months for even a chance of getting onto hormones under the NHS system.

If you decided to register with GenderGP online - they have plenty of information on their website - you would have to pay them:
1. Registration Fee
2. Therapy Charge for one or two sessions
3. Monthly Charge
4. Small Prescription Charge for 3 months worth of medication

Your first Blood Test for Oestrogen and Testosterone would come 3 months after starting HRT and you would have to pay them for that.

However after 3 months you should be able to arrange a "Shared Care Agreement" between GenderGP and your NHSGP which GenderGP would arrange and the setting up and the SCA itself are free. You then no longer pay a Prescripton Charge to GenderGP but your NHSGP signs them after forwarding from GenderGP and therefore you obtain your prescriptions under NHS.

I am very happy with GenderGP and with the SCA.

I recommend this system.

Hugs

Pamela

Hey pam.

Ill be sure to check all that out. Thank you  :)

I kinda had a major break down today... I was on thr phone to the GIC and they said I won't get an appointment until march 2020... plus now my mum knows about the situation .. My doctor also said he couldn't help and its out of his hands

How much money did the shared agreement cost

Hello again Emma

You are very wise to check and consider registering with GenderGP. I confirm that after 3 months (or you may try a bit before that) if you ask GenderGP to set up SCA with your NHSGP and GenderGP, GenderGP should contact your NHSGP and arrange it and I confirm the setting up and the SCA itself are free.

Obviously Blood Tests aswell as prescriptions would then come under the NHS.

I think if you registered with GenderGP in December, you could well be on HRT in March 2019 - over a year ahead of NHS.

Perhaps you could let us know if you choose to register. Good luck.

Hugs

Pamela

Hey pam

I can't thank you enough for your help. I messaged the clinc on the 8th and we are now exchanging information! Thank you so much for your help. This changes my situation entirely.

Thank you very much. That's excellent news!

Pamela  xx