Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I came out recently as TG MtF. I prefer being tucked most of the time and usually use tape to feel secure. I nevrr really questioned use of a bathroom until now. Will using the men's bathroom be weird? Tonight ai was dressed more feminine and i actually left the bathroom because other men were using it. I was  uncomfortable. I needed to pee and didn't want to be judged. This is the first time i experienced this situation. I never thought going pee would be such an ordeal! There is much to learn.

And peeing when tucked and taped is another new experience. Thank God i started sitting on the toilet to pee 2 years ago. I abhor retaping and try to ensure I can reapply after I done.

So many new experiences. But, so much joy living my true identity. I will get use the inconveniences to be a healthier person.

Zoey

The general rule for bathroom use is to use the one that matches your presentation.  If you are still presenting as male, you should use the men's room.  If you are presenting as female, you should use the ladies' room.  If your presentation is androgynous, it might look weird either way.  I would use a gender-neutral bathroom when I presented androgynously.

I have never tried peeing while tucked, so I have no suggestions for that.

There are some stores that appeal mostly to one gender, which means the bathroom of the other gender will reliably be empty.

JoAnn's is a craft store with an almost entirely female customer base.  I've never seen another guy in one of their bathrooms.

McDonald's may be a good place to go between meal times.  When I go out to eat I often choose times that are early or late to avoid the crowds.  Which means the bathrooms are empty. 

Quote from: Zoey421 on December 19, 2018, 01:29:58 AM
I came out recently as TG MtF. I prefer being tucked most of the time and usually use tape to feel secure. I nevrr really questioned use of a bathroom until now. Will using the men's bathroom be weird? Tonight ai was dressed more feminine and i actually left the bathroom because other men were using it. I was  uncomfortable. I needed to pee and didn't want to be judged. This is the first time i experienced this situation. I never thought going pee would be such an ordeal! There is much to learn.

And peeing when tucked and taped is another new experience. Thank God i started sitting on the toilet to pee 2 years ago. I abhor retaping and try to ensure I can reapply after I done.

So many new experiences. But, so much joy living my true identity. I will get use the inconveniences to be a healthier person.

Zoey

Sitting down in a ladies bathroom is a way better experience than sitting down in a guys bathroom.  In the ladies room, nobody tried to pee standing up, and splattered all over tarnation, or missed the goal entirely!
I can't help you with tucking either, because I have hardly anything left that needs tucking.  Can't you have a small roll of tape in your purse, and re-tape after doing your business?

Thank you, KathyLauren, for the guidance, it makes perfect sense. I was wearing wool pants with a slight flair and black mock t-neck with spotted flaired cuffs and a black pattern silk scarf. I wasn't obviously female. I was a guy wearing an outfit that had feminine look and feel ... hard to say. I have to admit I was nervous about using either the men's or women's bathroom and I usually look for family bathrooms or a bathroom that is a single room.

This is new to me and I'm not sure how I will feel using the women's washroom when presenting as female. I realized last night bathrooms are a real issue for TGs. Are these conflicting feelings normal? What happens when you are questioned in the washroom? How do you respond?

This is truly a learning experience for me.

Zoey

Quote from: Dietlind on December 19, 2018, 11:40:37 PM
Sitting down in a ladies bathroom is a way better experience than sitting down in a guys bathroom.  In the ladies room, nobody tried to pee standing up, and splattered all over tarnation, or missed the goal entirely!
I can't help you with tucking either, because I have hardly anything left that needs tucking.  Can't you have a small roll of tape in your purse, and re-tape after doing your business?

I normally carry a small roll of tape with me and re-tape afterward. Just another new experience ...  :) Zoey

Zoey, feeling conflicted is my experience. Most of the time I don't know what to do, even when presenting as a woman, I haven't gotten over the fear of being challenged if I use the women's. This means I either hold on, or find a disabled/family toilet. Which I don't like either, but it is better than nothing.

Check out this thread for useful tips.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243146.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243146.0.html)

~Dee.

Quote from: dee82 on December 20, 2018, 12:46:03 AM
Zoey, feeling conflicted is my experience. Most of the time I don't know what to do, even when presenting as a woman, I haven't gotten over the fear of being challenged if I use the women's. This means I either hold on, or find a disabled/family toilet. Which I don't like either, but it is better than nothing.

Check out this thread for useful tips.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243146.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243146.0.html)

~Dee.

Thank you, Dee, for the link. I read the thread and it was very helpful. Hugs Zoey

You are very welcome Zoey.

Quote from: Zoey421 on December 20, 2018, 12:35:43 AM
Are these conflicting feelings normal? What happens when you are questioned in the washroom? How do you respond?

This is truly a learning experience for me.

Zoey

Yes, they were normal for me in the beginning!  An  attendant of a changing room wanted me to go to the male side, and I said no, I am female, would you want to see my parts to check for it?  She got silent, and I went into the female side.

I think it helps a lot if one is assertive, and feels sure in ones roll as a female.  After all, mentally we are women, the plumbing has not caught up yet!

Quote from: Zoey421 on December 20, 2018, 12:35:43 AM
This is new to me and I'm not sure how I will feel using the women's washroom when presenting as female. I realized last night bathrooms are a real issue for TGs. Are these conflicting feelings normal? What happens when you are questioned in the washroom? How do you respond?

We all felt as you do the first few times.  I remember my first time using a women's washroom.  I was returning home from a support group meeting and therefore was dressed fully femme, including a skirt.  It is an hour and a half drive, and, when I felt the call of nature, I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold out until I got home.  I pulled off the highway at a truck stop.  It had a men's and a women's, but no single-user room.  With no alternatives and an urgent need, I simply walked into the women's and did my business.  There was no one else there.  *Whew!*

That was two years ago, and I have been using women's washrooms ever since.  Not once have I ever been questioned.  I have exchanged comments about the weather with other women.  I have gone in in a gaggle of women, all chatting about something or other, and continued the conversation into the stalls.  No one has ever suggested that I shouldn't be there.

The secret is to practice feminizing of the voice. When you speak if you sound female then people are less likely to question. That's my weakest link.

Lisa

Quote from: Zoey421 on December 20, 2018, 12:35:43 AM
Thank you, KathyLauren, for the guidance, it makes perfect sense. I was wearing wool pants with a slight flair and black mock t-neck with spotted flaired cuffs and a black pattern silk scarf. I wasn't obviously female. I was a guy wearing an outfit that had feminine look and feel ... hard to say. I have to admit I was nervous about using either the men's or women's bathroom and I usually look for family bathrooms or a bathroom that is a single room.

This is new to me and I'm not sure how I will feel using the women's washroom when presenting as female. I realized last night bathrooms are a real issue for TGs. Are these conflicting feelings normal? What happens when you are questioned in the washroom? How do you respond?

This is truly a learning experience for me.

Zoey

Its is for all of us. I found bathrooms challenging till  had no choice at the airport and the mens room was clearly out. Just do it a few times and it becomes normal.