Susan's Place Transgender Resources

In your opinion is being Transgender a blessing or a curse?

Same as my vote on your FB: A blessing.

Quote from: MelissaAnn on December 29, 2018, 01:47:02 PM
In your opinion is being Transgender a blessing or a curse?

No, it isn't.  >:-)   :D

It isn't either.  It is an interesting curve in life, that's all.  We negotiate it the best we can, and hopefully end up happy.  Other people have different curves to negotiate.  Hopefully, they end up happy, too.

I think that i agree with Kathy. I don´t see it as either. Rather, it is the lot in life that I have been given, and what I have to deal with. It´s certainly a fascinating ¨curve¨. Our very existence as sexual beings depends on there being female and male. But realizing the complexity of our make-up and the subtleties that shape us, it is fascinating to experience the breadth of feelings that we as transgender people do. On the positive (blessing) side, I think it does provide a wider perspective on people and enables me to grant more grace to people that don't conform our societal norms.


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Quote from: KathyLauren on December 29, 2018, 02:24:01 PM
No, it isn't.  >:-)   :D

It isn't either.  It is an interesting curve in life, that's all.  We negotiate it the best we can, and hopefully end up happy.  Other people have different curves to negotiate.  Hopefully, they end up happy, too.

I agree with Kathy as well. It can be a blessing or a curse - we have a responsibility to do the best with it that we can.

  Kirsten.

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Better question:

Is transphobia why people see it as a curse?

Quote from: Janes Groove on December 29, 2018, 03:30:34 PM
Better question:

Is transphobia why people see it as a curse?

Love this.

we've had something like this before... still a curse for me. Although I've met some wonderful people because of it. Is it a curse because of transphobia?  Probably. If it were not for transphobia of my family I would've been raised female from the age of 2 and transitioned before I was 21. So yes, it is a curse because of transphobia.

Blessing.  I can routinely solve problems with out of the box solutions because the "box" has no meaning to me, except as a weird societal construct used by "normal" people.  Which has resulted a reasonable degree financial freedom for a short guy.

Jane has inspired me to change the question. Peanut butter or jelly? Never mind, that is a derail isn't it. I wouldn't change who I am, so I guess it would be a pleasant happenstance. Before I transitioned, it was rather extremely unpleasant, but I can't wish myself out of existence by wishing it gone.

@MelissaAnn   
Per your original posting... 
"In your opinion is being Transgender a blessing or a curse?"

I suppose it depends on the individual...  and to add to the comments and the comments and replies of other members on this thread:

For some, especially those that are running into difficulties with their physical aspects of transitioning ... and also difficulties with their interpersonal and relationship circumstances...
...they perhaps might consider being transgender as a Curse.

On the other-hand, for those that are finally living as they have felt destined to live, and their transitition and relationships are progressing positively, then of course it is a Blessing.   

Hugs,
Danielle

 I agree that it isn't necessarily good or bad, just something we have to deal with.  Everyone has issues in their life, being any flavor of trans is just one of ours.

Being transgender has made me a better, kinder person. So that's one upside.

Also, in my family being transgender is definitely a blessing because if I had been cis I would still be a member of their awful church and I'm really, really glad I'm not.  ;D

https://mormondom.com/letter-to-a-mormon-man-8d251aa1f062 (https://mormondom.com/letter-to-a-mormon-man-8d251aa1f062) This article is super long, but it really made me realize what a bullet I dodged. I'm so glad I didn't end up like my sister.

A blessing. I was born this way for a reason. Running from it only made things worse. Accepting it and taking action has shown that I can be a far more complete and happy person. It offers perspective from both sides and I wouldn't have it any other way.

100% a blessing.

I guess I have to agree that, objectively speaking, it's neither a blessing nor a curse. It hasn't been easy, but there are more difficult struggles than ours; and I believe there is meaning and purpose in everything.

From my present perspective, however, I regard it as an unqualified blessing. For years I wished I had been born female, then I discovered I had been. The gift of being myself is the greatest gift of my life.

I'm not sure how to answer. My feelings about it fluctuate. Sometimes it really feels like a curse, sometimes I see some positive in it, but never so positive that I would call it a blessing.

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 29, 2018, 02:24:01 PM
No, it isn't.  >:-)   :D

It isn't either.  It is an interesting curve in life, that's all.  We negotiate it the best we can, and hopefully end up happy.  Other people have different curves to negotiate.  Hopefully, they end up happy, too.

I was going to say both sometimes, but I think neither is the better answer. It's a treatable medical condition.

Quote from: Janes Groove on December 29, 2018, 03:30:34 PM
Better question:

Is transphobia why people see it as a curse?

The lack of knowledge about it and the phobia that accompanies it can make it seem like a curse at times.


I have it, I can't change that, and for better or worse, it's made me who I am.  I think I'm a better person for treating it.

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Not understanding who I was almost cost my life, and I came within seconds of taking my family with me. I honestly do not know what stopped me. No one should ever reach a point in their life where they would consider something like that.

I don't see this as a blessing -- would you wish to bless this upon any of your friends? It is also too cruel of a punishment for any of my enemies.

We were born with bodies which did not match our minds. We tried to do what society expected of us even though we were not given the same tools as everyone else. Although we will have the unique gift of seeing the world from two different sets of eyes, for many of us this comes at a tremendous cost. If you did not feel trapped in the wrong body, is there anything so priceless for which you would gamble all of your friends and loved ones to gain?

We had to struggle all of our lives to become who we were meant to be, while everyone else had this 'blessing' handed to them at birth. It isn't a blessing or a curse, it is simply who we are. We are unique. Our understanding of life is different from everyone else's. If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, maybe we are from Earth. I am finally happy, and I have found peace. It would have been nice not to have had to fight so hard to reach this point in my life.

I love the refrain from 'I Am Woman' by Helen Reddy. Feel free to update the title and lyrics to match your gender:

I tend to agree with many of the previous posts reflecting that it's neither.  I will say, looking back at my past that I would have answered this question differently depending on what point or stage of my life I was in.  I've come to realize that it was one of those cliched "cards I was dealt" and that I have to play...or not. 

Angela, I read this and it was quite an interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing it. Like many I don't know much about Mormonism.   

Quote from: Angela H on December 29, 2018, 09:58:35 PM

https://mormondom.com/letter-to-a-mormon-man-8d251aa1f062 (https://mormondom.com/letter-to-a-mormon-man-8d251aa1f062) This article is super long, but it really made me realize what a bullet I dodged. I'm so glad I didn't end up like my sister.

It's a curse.

I'm not going to use cognitive dissonance to make my situation out to be better than it is. It's not good nor healthy to be bodily dissociated, sexually averse, mentally stressed and socially shunned. The stress this condition puts upon the individual is grave.   

But it's a condition like so many others people can have that aren't great. Nature doesn't churn out perfect creations, only creations. 

In my mind it's not a blessing or a curse. I find it hard to think about it in that way.

I view my transition as a path to feeling well. Just like that.

Life is not a straight line. Not for anyone. And our individual experiences of the world differs for all of us. There is no correct way of living life. There is no normal. There is only a journey towards happiness in life. Transiton is a part of our journey and that's alright.
Sure we might struggle but at the same time we will understand and appreciate so many things that cis persons don't. And there will be other people going through things in life that we will never know or understand.

So I think it's important to remember to appreciate all the good things in your life. Because it is easy to take things for granted. Appreciate your bed, your family or friends, watching the sun go up in the morning, a nice coupe of coffe, music or anything else. But be alive.

A society based on tolerance and joy is the future. Let's be a part of that. Let us be happy and prosperous.

Since we got just one chance in life and it doesn't last forever. Why not enjoy it?
I would rather say that life is our opportunity to have a good time.

Hugs!

I don't see it as a blessing or a curse either.  It is just part of my life, and leads me to the end result I am looking for.

I don't think much about it, i just hope it will continue to bring me into full womanhood.

I still have to decide every morning, if am to be a man or a woman the upcoming day.  I still have no clear gender identity, but now that I am in transition, I have at least the chance to make this decission.  Now my fall back mode is female, and not the male role I had only available for many years!

If really pressed for it, I would say it is somewhat a blessing, because I now have an alternative to the unliked male role i was forced to play.

I can only believe that being transgender has been a burden on most of us. I also think that much of the perceived blessing is in our ability to see the contrast between the burden and the release from that burden. If there is a blessing isn't it in the knowledge of the differences? My guess is that it is up to each of us to decide what the blessings and curses are in our lives.

Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years right? I wonder how he views those 27 years.

Bad things happen, some get what seems to be more than their share of bad, not something we get to choose. I do get the benefit of choosing how I internalize it. I see no benefits in choosing to view being a transsexual as a curse, I will take what I can from this experience.

It is a blessing of course.  ;) 

I view it as a curse. I'd rather not have it. I dont think it has given me anything of benefit. It broke my marriage and has stopped me having any more children. But like all curses I've just had to make do with the bad cards I've been dealt

Em x

I guess I must be in the minority having said I believe it is a blessing.
But then again, that's how I've always viewed life, as a challenge. It's probably why I'm upbeat and that transition was a breeze. It was my attitude from day 1 when I walked out of my therapist office. Sure, I could have gone home and cursed for being made this way. Nope, I took the high road, accepted who I was, and that I would accept who I was, and be the best I can be.
10 years later, it's all good.
If someone were to grant me a wish that I could go back to my former gender, or not be trans, I would defiantly say nope. Happy where I am.

I will say blessing as very few people get to experience  both sides of the fence and it gives you a second  chance  to  change things

Quote from: IAmM on December 30, 2018, 04:34:27 PM
Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years right? I wonder how he views those 27 years.

Agree. And this reminds me of something I remember reading once.  An aged Winston Churchill  was asked to reflect back on  what was the best year of a long and eventful life.

Without hesitating he responded, "1940, always 1940."

We are formed not by our victories, but by our struggle.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on December 30, 2018, 07:25:18 AM
Not understanding who I was almost cost my life, and I came within seconds of taking my family with me. I honestly do not know what stopped me. No one should ever reach a point in their life where they would consider something like that.

I don't see this as a blessing -- would you wish to bless this upon any of your friends? It is also too cruel of a punishment for any of my enemies.

We were born with bodies which did not match our minds. We tried to do what society expected of us even though we were not given the same tools as everyone else. Although we will have the unique gift of seeing the world from two different sets of eyes, for many of us this comes at a tremendous cost. If you did not feel trapped in the wrong body, is there anything so priceless for which you would gamble all of your friends and loved ones to gain?

We had to struggle all of our lives to become who we were meant to be, while everyone else had this 'blessing' handed to them at birth. It isn't a blessing or a curse, it is simply who we are. We are unique. Our understanding of life is different from everyone else's. If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, maybe we are from Earth. I am finally happy, and I have found peace. It would have been nice not to have had to fight so hard to reach this point in my life.

I love the refrain from 'I Am Woman' by Helen Reddy. Feel free to update the title and lyrics to match your gender:

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman 

My experience was quite similar trying to be what I'm not almost cost me my life. I lost a lot in transitioning but gained far more than I lost. I wouldn't wish being trans on anyone because yes, it is a hard road, but it is a path worth walking. If someone gave me an option to go back and never be trans I would say no.

Definitely a curse for me. It's complete mental and somewhat physical torture.

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Blessing or a curse? Neither for me, it's who I have been since before my earliest truly cognitive thoughts in this life time. Would I have not transitioned if there was another viable option for myself, IN A HEART BEAT! Since there was not, trying to make the best of it. I have lost some baggage, a small economic downturn at the start, have drifted apart from some I cared for, lost the desire to stop the life process. I have gained, the desire to proceed in the life process, an economic upturn, a closet full of clothing, a once in a life time friendship twice! My long term partner was the first, when I told her about my true self, there was nothing to lose she was out the door, she stayed and unpacked her truck! Could not longer take the sadness or anger.
I have been asked by others "how is it?" I can only say it was right for me. I will NEVER encourage anyone to transition, however, if they feel it's the correct path, will point them at too many resources as this is not a one size fit's any process and it needs to fit the needs of the individual.   I will say this, transition has been the most selfish act in my life. I had no expectations to retain any friends or family through this, I never expected any of my social circle to call me Margaret and not Phillip. Those who accepted me are still around, those who did not are not, cold sounding but it works for me. So a blessing or a curse? Just like to think it just is.
Peace
-Margaret

I have to go with curse.  I think it would have killed me if I had not started my transition.  I chose to live, but my transition has cost me my marriage, my job, my home, and I agreed to move away from my small hometown to avoid any embarrassment I may have caused my family.  Now I live alone, in a city where I know no one.  But I'm alive and that has to count for something.

In my youth I was feminine and happy, but slowly society re-shaped me into a successful business man. But never able to find true happiness, I drifted from marriage to marriage, I drifted from one obsession to the next, but never finding what was missing. Although I've been dressing for some time it's only recently that I connected this back to my youth. With that light bulb moment came an inner calm. If you've ever meditated it feels a bit like the calm during meditation, but there all the time. So, this is truly a blessing. That said I now have the anxiety of how to transform without too much damage to my life. So, I guess that's a curse. Like everything there are always pro's and con's.

For me being AMAB was a curse....
Still waiting to be blessed....

I have to say that for all the time you know you are trans and either are not or cannot take any positive action, that it is a curse; indeed I see us literally being born with a curse as the curse happens during our mothers pregnancy.

When we take positive action, gradually we see an improvement in our lives and we find peace and hopefully ultimately happiness.

However as we have to live so many years cursed firstly by being born trans and it bothering and upsetting us repeatedly and secondly by the great anti-reaction to it until quite recently  from society, then to me it must be a curse.

Hugs

Pamela

A Mixed bag. Fuels my artistic creativity but it comes from trying to fill the emptiness that comes with having a body that doesn't feel mine. 

Like most things it has its bad things and its good things. People who aren't transgender take for granted be comfortable with their gender/sex like childs who always have been rich, they don't value what they have. People who has been poor but they had to fight for their wealth values what they have.

Even with the depression and struggle that has been before; for me, becoming more myself is an exciting, liberating and awesome experience, that somebody who is not transgender will never experience it.