Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 03:53:30 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Interesting times!
Post by: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 03:53:30 PM
Post by: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 03:53:30 PM
A story I can only share with this community and a few others:
I went home back east for the first time in 8 years, partly with the idea in mind that this would be the last time seeing family and friends while presenting as male. I had a great visit and was reconsidering transitioning when my mother started dropping obvious hints that she would be supportive of me transitioning.
As we passed Ardene's, the store that is All Things Feminine, she asked if I wanted to go inside (???). The next day she asked if I carry my Purell desanitizer in my purse (???!!!). I passed both comments off as my mother being old, but no, that's not what it was. She is 80 and I am 48.
Not what I was expecting!
How did she even know?
After giving it some thought: she would know better than anyone.
So I returned to the Wet Coast with the support of my mother in transitioning, entirely unexpected.
I ended up renting a room for 10 days from a pro dominatrix and 5 of those days I went out "en femme" - shopping, banking, walking around town, hanging out in coffee shops presenting as a woman. My hostess was generous in allowing me to wear some of her 27 wigs (!) and clothes (heaven!).
It was a bit on the fly, but I had a opportunity to try it and I took it. I am so glad I did. I learned many valuable lessons that will serve me well in transitioning.
My hypothesis was that day to day life would be easier *for me* as a woman and that proved to be correct. I got "sir" on the 5th day - no big deal. Nobody bothered me and I received better customer service overall.
I have found a good paying job but need to find a place to live before getting on with transitioning. I am stoked for the future for the first time in memory. My birthday is in October and that is my timeline for transitioning.
I went home back east for the first time in 8 years, partly with the idea in mind that this would be the last time seeing family and friends while presenting as male. I had a great visit and was reconsidering transitioning when my mother started dropping obvious hints that she would be supportive of me transitioning.
As we passed Ardene's, the store that is All Things Feminine, she asked if I wanted to go inside (???). The next day she asked if I carry my Purell desanitizer in my purse (???!!!). I passed both comments off as my mother being old, but no, that's not what it was. She is 80 and I am 48.
Not what I was expecting!
How did she even know?
After giving it some thought: she would know better than anyone.
So I returned to the Wet Coast with the support of my mother in transitioning, entirely unexpected.
I ended up renting a room for 10 days from a pro dominatrix and 5 of those days I went out "en femme" - shopping, banking, walking around town, hanging out in coffee shops presenting as a woman. My hostess was generous in allowing me to wear some of her 27 wigs (!) and clothes (heaven!).
It was a bit on the fly, but I had a opportunity to try it and I took it. I am so glad I did. I learned many valuable lessons that will serve me well in transitioning.
My hypothesis was that day to day life would be easier *for me* as a woman and that proved to be correct. I got "sir" on the 5th day - no big deal. Nobody bothered me and I received better customer service overall.
I have found a good paying job but need to find a place to live before getting on with transitioning. I am stoked for the future for the first time in memory. My birthday is in October and that is my timeline for transitioning.
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Beverly Anne on January 06, 2019, 04:20:13 PM
Post by: Beverly Anne on January 06, 2019, 04:20:13 PM
Jump in! The water's fine! Congratulations on your decision and mother's support.
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Loved_PrincessMPLS on January 06, 2019, 04:52:39 PM
Post by: Loved_PrincessMPLS on January 06, 2019, 04:52:39 PM
Good for you on venturing out, trying what feels right and most certainly having your mother's support! All of these things seem like they boosted your confidence, and that's something we all need.
Keep us posted as you experiment and enjoy the wonderful journey of transition that lies ahead of you.
::hugs::
Keep us posted as you experiment and enjoy the wonderful journey of transition that lies ahead of you.
::hugs::
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 05:24:43 PM
Post by: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 05:24:43 PM
On Friday, one female coworker told another that she found me to be "girlie". Which was awesome :-)
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 06, 2019, 06:07:57 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 06, 2019, 06:07:57 PM
Quote from: OhAmanda on January 06, 2019, 05:24:43 PM
On Friday, one female coworker told another that she found me to be "girlie". Which was awesome :-)
That sounds positive! Yay!
Chrissy
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Rachel on January 06, 2019, 06:52:28 PM
Post by: Rachel on January 06, 2019, 06:52:28 PM
Congratulations, It sounds like you have a plan in place. I am happy your Mom supports your transition.
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: KathyLauren on January 06, 2019, 07:00:37 PM
Post by: KathyLauren on January 06, 2019, 07:00:37 PM
Congratulations on having your mother's support, and on your experiment in getting out as yourself. What a great boost to your confidence!
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Alice (nym) on January 06, 2019, 09:15:18 PM
Post by: Alice (nym) on January 06, 2019, 09:15:18 PM
That was really nice... thank you for sharing it with us. I've been a bit down recently, so it is good to hear positive stories.
love
Alice
love
Alice
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Maid Marion on January 06, 2019, 10:26:08 PM
Post by: Maid Marion on January 06, 2019, 10:26:08 PM
Great to hear your mother supports you! Good luck!
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: pamelatransuk on January 07, 2019, 05:25:27 AM
Post by: pamelatransuk on January 07, 2019, 05:25:27 AM
Hello Amanda
It is wonderful to read such an uplifting story.
Yes nobody knows us better than our mothers! I am delighted that she supports you. I am glad you had the opportunity for 5 days to go out "en femme" and that it gave you both confirmation and confidence.
I wish you every success both on finding a place to live and on your transition as a whole.
Hugs
Pamela
It is wonderful to read such an uplifting story.
Yes nobody knows us better than our mothers! I am delighted that she supports you. I am glad you had the opportunity for 5 days to go out "en femme" and that it gave you both confirmation and confidence.
I wish you every success both on finding a place to live and on your transition as a whole.
Hugs
Pamela
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Gabrielle66 on January 07, 2019, 12:58:21 PM
Post by: Gabrielle66 on January 07, 2019, 12:58:21 PM
Amanda,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am 52 and married and definitely struggling with how to truly start transitioning. Your account gives me hope for my own future as well. I wish you every success in your new job and with the journey ahead of you. Love and faith.
Gabrielle
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am 52 and married and definitely struggling with how to truly start transitioning. Your account gives me hope for my own future as well. I wish you every success in your new job and with the journey ahead of you. Love and faith.
Gabrielle
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: OhAmanda on January 07, 2019, 09:47:52 PM
Post by: OhAmanda on January 07, 2019, 09:47:52 PM
Thank you all for the thoughtful replies!
I booked a hormone readiness assessment yesterday for Sept 19th. I met with this same counsellor once before in the fall, but did not feel ready to transition. Now I am focusing on keeping my physical/mental health in check and making $$$$. And maybe a bit of gossip with female coworkers :-)
I booked a hormone readiness assessment yesterday for Sept 19th. I met with this same counsellor once before in the fall, but did not feel ready to transition. Now I am focusing on keeping my physical/mental health in check and making $$$$. And maybe a bit of gossip with female coworkers :-)
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: Maid Marion on January 08, 2019, 02:08:47 AM
Post by: Maid Marion on January 08, 2019, 02:08:47 AM
Yes, get your social network going now.
Title: Re: Interesting times!
Post by: OhAmanda on January 18, 2019, 07:47:44 PM
Post by: OhAmanda on January 18, 2019, 07:47:44 PM
When I feel secure and confident my voice drops lower - this was a challenge when out as a woman! I was having such a lovely time...
Driving in a skirt means having to keep one's legs close together - this is new. Getting out of a car gracefully in a skirt and heels with a handbag and a latte...oyoyoy ;D
I walk fine in heels but still have to adapt to shoes not designed for comfort.
I got a raise quickly at my job and cosmetic surgery seems less a dream than imminent reality. Having a viable future makes me happier in the present - this helps me at work.
Driving in a skirt means having to keep one's legs close together - this is new. Getting out of a car gracefully in a skirt and heels with a handbag and a latte...oyoyoy ;D
I walk fine in heels but still have to adapt to shoes not designed for comfort.
I got a raise quickly at my job and cosmetic surgery seems less a dream than imminent reality. Having a viable future makes me happier in the present - this helps me at work.