Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today was my last day at work for a while. I looked around and smiled as I walked out the door. My manager approved my request to work from home until my leave of absence begins on 18 Feb, hopefully this will keep me safe from catching a cold or the flu. Yesterday was my final 'south pole' clearing, and tonight will be my last estradiol patch for a few weeks. I guess now is as good a time as any to start this thread.

My original GCS date was 5 April. I submitted the last of my paperwork to the Meltzer Clinic on 28 Feb, and the next day I received an email. There was a cancellation, would I like to reschedule for 21 February? OMG!!! It seems as though I have been working non-stop since then to make it happen, and now everything is set. Susan and I plan two days for the 12 hour drive to Scottsdale in case we encounter issues. We already have hotel reservations, and we have made arrangements for our furry children. Other than buying a few supplies (like maxi pads for me!) and packing our suitcases, we are ready.

Now I can finally take some time to think about my future. The surgery itself is somewhat frightening, but I have faith in Dr. Ley and her team. I know recovery could be difficult and will take some time, but I also know it is the right path for me. Just a year after turning my world upside down (which made it right side up from my perspective), I am taking another huge leap. Coming out was very public, that was unavoidable. But this is different, this is personal. Although the BA will be noticed (isn't that the point?), this time the biggest change is one very few people will ever see. Even though the world now sees me as a woman, I carry a reminder that tells me something different -- and that must be corrected.

I warned Susan to expect another shift in my personality. My soul has been hiding in darkness for five decades, only in the last year has she seen some daylight and tasted a little freedom. Soon she will finally be set free. I don't know how I will react, but I do know one thing -- I will finally be me.

Tell Susan not to worry to much about a personality change. You're pretty rung out after the surgery so she should be able to handle you. It's amazing how demanding the surgery is on your body. I had to spend 6 days in bed after surgery and now it's only 2, but people are still pretty weak when they get back on their feet.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 06, 2019, 08:36:24 PM
Today was my last day at work for a while. I looked around and smiled as I walked out the door. My manager approved my request to work from home until my leave of absence begins on 18 Feb, hopefully this will keep me safe from catching a cold or the flu. Yesterday was my final 'south pole' clearing, and tonight will be my last estradiol patch for a few weeks. I guess now is as good a time as any to start this thread.

My original GCS date was 5 April. I submitted the last of my paperwork to the Meltzer Clinic on 28 Feb, and the next day I received an email. There was a cancellation, would I like to reschedule for 21 February? OMG!!! It seems as though I have been working non-stop since then to make it happen, and now everything is set. Susan and I plan two days for the 12 hour drive to Scottsdale in case we encounter issues. We already have hotel reservations, and we have made arrangements for our furry children. Other than buying a few supplies (like maxi pads for me!) and packing our suitcases, we are ready.

Now I can finally take some time to think about my future. The surgery itself is somewhat frightening, but I have faith in Dr. Ley and her team. I know recovery could be difficult and will take some time, but I also know it is the right path for me. Just a year after turning my world upside down (which made it right side up from my perspective), I am taking another huge leap. Coming out was very public, that was unavoidable. But this is different, this is personal. Although the BA will be noticed (isn't that the point?), this time the biggest change is one very few people will ever see. Even though the world now sees me as a woman, I carry a reminder that tells me something different -- and that must be corrected.

I warned Susan to expect another shift in my personality. My soul has been hiding in darkness for five decades, only in the last year has she seen some daylight and tasted a little freedom. Soon she will finally be set free. I don't know how I will react, but I do know one thing -- I will finally be me.

Congratulations Jessica. I wish you a speedy recovery...

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

That is super exciting Jessica!

Stay healthy and enjoy the countdown! This is an amazing step for you. I'm glad you have a wonderful wife to be there and support you!

Good luck girlfriend and stay strong. This is indeed a big step but don't let the magnitude fear you, treasure each small part of it for this is becoming you. And hey, you will be sleeping through it all anyway.

Say hi to Dr. Ley for me,
Tia Anne

A few of my supplies arrived today: bacitracin, aloe vera gel, and a dozen tubes of surgilube. I also ordered a seat cushion to reduce pressure along the 'grand canyon' -- 'south pole' will no longer be appropriate.

I lived over 50 years of my life in plain sight, yet I hid from everyone. Now I am preparing to take that last step, one which will free my soul while at the same time remove one of the last physical reminders of who I used to be. I feel as though I am planning for a death, and a rebirth. Maybe it won't be nearly as profound as I think. We base our expectations on our experiences, but this is like nothing I have ever done before. I'm not worried, I'm not scared, but I don't know what will happen. I just have faith that I will wake up on the other side, and the world will once again be a beautiful place.

In nine days we hit the road for Scottsdale.

You can return the cushion, Meltzer Clinic provides one in the goodie bag, which I personally found to be more trouble than it's worth.

I suggest getting at least four large boxes of pads. You do not need thick or heavy flow after the first week, but there will be a lot of drainage and spotting for a while. I like the always flex which are thin. Leave them home, the hospital will supply them while you are there.

Be prepared that some minor complications are normal after you get home, like perineal dehiscence which is a stitch tear. Takes a while to heal and is scary but not a huge deal.

The hospital will give you a few tubes of bacitracin so don't go overboard until you know what you need. Same with the lube. I bought a case off amazon and quickly went from a tube a week to a tube a month.

You don't need to bring a lot. A few changes of clothes, pajamas and warm socks and a sweater or fleece. Don't go overboard, you probably won't be spending much or any time out of the hospital. I also brought tea bags and some snacks.

Here's the goodie bag

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190210/9f430c8a0089dc5111d08cc4fc24520b.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190210/4be766de86172d220c3c144c766a876e.jpg)

Hi @Jessica_Rose

Wow its nearly that time. Great news on getting the bump up in date.

I personally found it a profound experience and it impacted me far more deeply that I expects and I would hope that you experience the kind of inner peace I have found. I think its so difficult to imagine because its not something we have ever experienced.

Congrats

Liz

I have one or two tings to add. IF you have a sensitivity to Paraben's make sure to get a Paraben free lube, I found out the hard way. I made sure to get out of the hospital at least once a day just to get ready for the trip home. If you do have any tearing, my gynecologist recommended baths with Instant Ocean (I still do them a few times a week). For BA just follow instructions and all should be great! I am at 2 months and was able to get rid of the top band, for a bra it's an underwire, be sure to get some nipple shields the band is a bit scratchy. For the BA I gave Dr. Ley to fit what ever she felt was best, 800's are what she picked. I am 5'11 and had a 40" band at time of BA now down to a 38" and have lost a bit more weight and had some additional growth... I some times miss the removable ones, but LOVE having breasts that don't shift or slide. First and foremost take care of yourself! You have this in the bad my dear  :)

Thanks for the tips on what to take and what to leave home! I do tend to over-pack. I have plenty of button-up tops and some fleece tops with zippers. I also plan to take some long skirts, and maybe a dress or two with zippers. Susan and my daughters gave me some flannel unicorn pajamas for Christmas, so those are coming as well. Hopefully it will be warm enough outside in the afternoons to wear sandals, anything with much of a heel will be staying home.

Ten days, only ten days until I awake from my life-long nightmare. I am still anxious. I keep thinking that at any moment something unexpected will pop up and cause a delay, or take it away from me. Other than that, all is well. Susan even read through the pre-op instructions. I know part of her is saddened by the impending surgery, but she also understands that it is the only way for me to be happy.

I have electrolysis sessions today and tomorrow, but the 'south pole' work is done. Wednesday I have a hair appointment, then a laser session for my legs and stomach Thursday.

Our daughters are aware of the surgery, we even plan to visit our daughter in Socorro NM on the way down. I may never tell any of my other relatives. A few close friends and co-workers know. I expect at least a few people will notice the breast augmentation, but what is between my legs is really no one else's business.

Good luck! I understand the sadness but it is wonderful that you have support through this.

I received two calls today which helped confirm that everything is on track. The first was from the Meltzer Clinic, they went over the pre-op information again and checked to see if I was following their guidelines -- no ibuprofen, no estradiol, no supplements other than vitamin B, and no more 'south pole' electrolysis (I'm not upset about that last item). The second call was from the Greenbaum Surgical Center, we completed the patient pre-registration and I paid my co-pay. Another day over, and another step closer...

Even without estradiol, my emotions are making themselves known. I think the most prevalent one right now is relief, knowing that ever so surely the day I have waited for all my life will soon arrive.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 11, 2019, 09:41:51 PM
I received two calls today which helped confirm that everything is on track. The first was from the Meltzer Clinic, they went over the pre-op information again and checked to see if I was following their guidelines -- no ibuprofen, no estradiol, no supplements other than vitamin B, and no more 'south pole' electrolysis (I'm not upset about that last item). The second call was from the Greenbaum Surgical Center, we completed the patient pre-registration and I paid my co-pay. Another day over, and another step closer...

Even without estradiol, my emotions are making themselves known. I think the most prevalent one right now is relief, knowing that ever so surely the day I have waited for all my life will soon arrive.

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica:
This is such good news.  I am so very happy for you that super big steps like this in your transition journey are on track.
I am glad to see that you are keeping all of us followers updated frequently.

We are all rooting for you, we are your biggest fans.
Hugs and as always, well wishes,
Danielle

I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

Jessica, this anxiousness and waiting is all part of the process as will be the day before surgery, going in, changing into the gown, getting the needle put in and taking a nap...not to mention a bit of healing. It is all part of it so enjoy it. Treasure it as it is part of paying for the ticket of becoming more you.

Love you girl!,
Tia Anne

It is very exciting to see your preparations come down to the wire.  Here's wishing you an uncomplicated surgery, and a smooth and speedy recovery.

Yay Congrats!

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 12, 2019, 01:44:16 PM
I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

My original plan was to leave on Monday and visit our daughter in Socorro before heading over to Scottsdale on Tuesday. However, there is a winter storm forecast to hit late Sunday, which could make travel on Monday treacherous. Now we plan to leave Sunday morning, spend the night in Socorro, then head to Scottsdale on Monday. Although we will arrive a day earlier than planned, it should be a safer trip. I am going a bit overboard with precautions right now, but I don't think I could handle any delays in my surgery. I have been working towards this day far too long to let it slip away.

This is so exciting to read!

I am sure that the feelings of this not going smoothly is normal. Can you really wake from your Nightmare? Is the night over? Very soon it will be!

Thank you for keeping us updated regularly with your thoughts and feelings. I am so happy for you! Having a supportive wife has to feel so amazing. She is a blessing to you!

You are making the right decision to take extra precautions with travel. My parents live in Phoenix and they said it has been in the 30s and 40s. A heat wave for most places this time of year, but cold for Arizona! Stay safe and warm on your trip.

We look forward to sharing in this part of your journey as you are able to post!

Lacy

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 12, 2019, 01:44:16 PM
I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

Oh don't you love dealing with STD insurance and fmla? Getting through that must be a bit of weight off your shoulders!

Sounds like good news all around! I am intrigued by minor differences in our experience, which is only about 6 weeks apart (like the greenbaum call).

If your job can be done remotely, have you filed for an ADA accommodation for modified work schedule after you go back? If not you might want to consider doing this. My HR actually planted the seed and I'm so glad they did as while I was mentally ready to return to work, my body was still playing a bit of catch up, so being able to ease back in and work remotely when I felt the need was really helpful, especially now when I'm still recovering from the perineal tear. I went back after 3 weeks, so a little earlier but not much. I make my own decision on where to be and when for work, but this helps prevent your employer giving you a hard time if you need to be remote for a few weeks or a significant portion of the time.

I remember the countdown when I was a week out - I was so excited and anxious. One thing to consider is you will probably not want to get off your couch for a week or two after you return home. Not because of pain but just fatigue as you are recovering. You might want to grab a few things to do while you are sedentary - books, legos or whatever. I built a lego Voltron out of boredom that first week back lol.

Oh also helpful might be to stock up a little bit on antibacterial soap. You will be cleaning your dialators a lot and I went through like 3 bottles of dial antibacterial hand soap in four weeks, which seems like a lot until you consider that you will be dialating four times a day.

Thanks for the note @RealLacy ! I noticed the forecast in Scottsdale is a bit cooler than I had hoped, I was only planning to take long skirts, button-up tops, a light jacket and sandals. I probably won't be outside too much, so I think I will be OK.

@jill610 , thank you for all of the great tips! The paperwork can be time consuming, but the Meltzer Clinic was very responsive and it went fairly quickly. I can work from home pretty much any time I want -- if I am not feeling well, expecting a delivery, or even bad weather. I just need to send a note to my manager so he knows where I am. One of the other things my company offers is a 'height-adjustable table' (HAT), basically it is a desk surface you can use sitting or standing. My request for a HAT was approved a few days ago, and since it is for a medical condition I went to the head of the line, it should be installed before I return to work.

I was sorry to read about your perineal tear, that had to be painful, scary, and unpleasant. It seems to be somewhat common. I plan to eat much more fiber than usual to help reduce the possibility, but I know it can happen no matter what precautions I may take. Great idea about the soap, I'll make sure we pick more up before we leave.

As far as things to do at home, I do a lot of photography. I have several thousand photos that I have never looked at because I was too busy with other things, but I expect that will get boring after a while. I'll try to think of something else before my wife gives me something to do!

I use one of those weekly 'pill minder' boxes, with one compartment for each day. After I took my last pill yesterday I stared at that empty compartment and realized how significant it was -- next Thursday, do I leave that one empty? With so much going on I have not had much time to think about it, knocking six weeks off of my wait time put me in overdrive for a while. Within the next day or two I expect it will hit me -- the enormity of the change, how long I have waited for that day to come, and what it will feel like when I wake up? I expect it will be one of the most emotional days of my life.

Dear Jessica Rose:

My heart, hopes and thoughts are with you!

You got this.

Massive hugs,

Emma

Thanks @Emma1017 !

I just received a call from one of my co-workers in Cleveland. He was wishing me well and asked that I try to keep them updated on my progress. This guy never mentions anything about my transition or asks any questions about it, even though I told him it was OK, but he has supported me from day one. He treats me as though nothing has changed except my name and gender, which is exactly how I should be treated. He reminds me quite a bit of my oldest brother, Gene.

Oh my!  I missed this thread this whole time!

You will do great Jessica.
Good luck, it's less than a week away 🌸🌸🌸

Oh and this does deserve a SQUEEEEEEEEE!

Hugs and smiles from another Jessica 💕💕💕

Safe travels girl and enjoy the ride!

Tia Anne & Deb

Sorry about the weather as it has been cooler and a bit wetter than normal. The good news is the low shouldn't fall much below freezing and the high could be near 70 degrees.

You probably won't want to leave the hospital until you're at least 4 days  post surgical and you can only sign out for 3 hours at a time. The hospital is in the tourist part of Scottsdale so there are many interesting stores within walking distance which is a good thing because parking can be a bit of a problem.

The hospital food is good and you have several options you can select off the menu. If you want a snack, they have them at the nursing station. The service is great and should you have any needs, talk to the staff about it. It's probably one of the best hospitals I have seen. If you need something you can't get, let me know.

Next week is almost here!!  I am sooo happy for you and excited.  Wish I could be there at the same time. 

At two weeks post-op I made a list of what I thought was good to bring to Scottsdale, and things I didn't need.  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,230213.200.html

You go girl!

Oh the Sit/Stand desks are wonderful - our new building has them for every employee and I was able to get them for my group. Mine is stand 100% of the time ... until I had this surgery. Now it's down for an hour or two in the afternoon.

I never thought of using the time to go through photos! That's such a great idea! I have terabytes laying around in a folder on my drobo called "to go through someday". Lol.

Scottsdale was a bit chilly when I was out there but just a fleece was usually fine. What was funny is when I was out there I had this huge urge to... go to the movies. Lol.

Thanks @Dena ! It is awesome having friends you have never met, in a place you have never visited.

@Kendra , I appreciate the link to that entry. I tend to overpack, and knowing what to concentrate on will be a big help.

@jill610 , thanks for chiming in. It is nice hearing from someone who was there so recently.

This morning was somewhat poignant. Susan and I used the last of the Viagra, and I realized it was the last time I would ever be intimate with her using my original equipment. I will be glad to be rid of those bits, but I also realize I am taking something important away from Susan. She says it is OK, but I know she will miss it. We often pay a high price to transition, but we also personally benefit greatly from it. Our spouses and significant others also pay a price, and their only reward is our happiness.

Susan and I are loading the car right now, we plan to leave by 8:00am for the 6.5hr drive to Socorro to visit one of our daughters. We will stay overnight and take the southern route (about 7 hours) to Scottsdale on Monday. My pre-op isn't until Wednesday, but I would rather avoid the winter storm and get there early than take a chance at arriving late! I still can't believe this is happening. Just five more days...

You will enjoy the visit here. It might a bit cool even compared to what we are used to this time of year. I didn't live here when I had my surgery with Meltzer, but for the most part it was nice when I was here for it. Food is good as Dena mentioned, however there are some amazing food places very close to the hospital. Once you have been there a few days your allowed to go out for a few hours at a time, if you like. You just have to phone them if your going to be late so they know what is going on. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 16, 2019, 02:35:15 PM
Thanks @Dena ! It is awesome having friends you have never met, in a place you have never visited.

@Kendra , I appreciate the link to that entry. I tend to overpack, and knowing what to concentrate on will be a big help.

@jill610 , thanks for chiming in. It is nice hearing from someone who was there so recently.

This morning was somewhat poignant. Susan and I used the last of the Viagra, and I realized it was the last time I would ever be intimate with her using my original equipment. I will be glad to be rid of those bits, but I also realize I am taking something important away from Susan. She says it is OK, but I know she will miss it. We often pay a high price to transition, but we personally benefit greatly from it. Our spouses and significant others also pay a price, and their only reward is our happiness.

Susan and I are loading the car right now, we plan to leave by 8:00am for the 6.5hr drive to Socorro to visit one of our daughters. We will stay overnight and take the southern route (about 7 hours) to Scottsdale on Monday. My pre-op isn't until Wednesday, but I would rather avoid the winter storm and get there early than take a chance at arriving late! I still can't believe this is happening. Just five more days...

Hi Jessica,

It is exciting to see you getting so close to one of your goals, good on you girl. It was just under a year and a half ago that Deb and I began our drive down to Scottsdale. Our route was different but the excitement was just as high. Give Dr. Ley our best wishes.

If you are looking for good breakfast places we enjoyed the Breakfast Club and the Daily Dose. The Daily Dose has some good spicy things and the Breakfast Club was just plain enjoyable. And once you get some strength back in your legs and can walk an eight of a mile, the Rehab Burger Therapy across the street from the Greenbaum surgery center is worth the stroll.

Enjoy this part of the ride girl and we look forward to seeing you when you get back to Colorado.

Tia Anne & Debi

Our drive to Socorro was rather uneventful. We left Colorado a day early to avoid an approaching winter storm, so I thought it was ironic that we ran through some snow showers in Albuquerque! Our daughter, Kimberly, picked us up at the hotel and took us to 'Yo Mama's Grill' for supper. Susan had a patty melt and I ordered a BBQ hamburger with bacon. Since I will soon be going without food for a few days I figured it would be OK. Kimberly showed us the cartilage piercing she got the day before and mentioned that it was not as painful as she had expected. We talked for a while, but not as long as we wanted -- she had to get back home to finish a lab report.

Although the hotel room was quiet, neither of us slept very well. We went to bed around 8:00pm and woke up around 2:30am. We decided to just eat a few of the blueberry muffins we brought and got on the road at 4:00am. Not long after we hit the road we picked up some windshield damage courtesy of a quarter-sized rock, but nothing like the flying lawnmower Tia and Debi reported! We ran through some moderate rain between Tuscon and Phoenix, but nothing heavy enough to make us slow down.

Since we arrived before our check-in time I looked up a local SafeLite repair shop, and they took care of the windshield damage right away. We are actually staying in Glendale tonight, but we will move over to our Scottsdale hotel tomorrow. It seems Spring Training has begun, and hotels near Scottsdale are more than double their normal price, staying just one night in Glendale saves us over $150!

We have been trying to avoid crowds for the last few weeks, and I even bought some gloves to use while pumping gas. I am doing my best to avoid catching a cold or the flu prior to surgery. I am still paranoid that something is going to delay this. My pre-op is Wednesday at 8:30am, and my surgery is scheduled for Thursday at 7:30am.

Snow squall south of Albuqerque
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FKSaO0YR.jpg&hash=25639032704881554a24d9c73225058305cad24c) (https://imgur.com/KSaO0YR)

Susan and I had blueberry muffins again for breakfast, then we did a little shopping. For lunch we had a McAlister's club sandwich. I stayed in the car for the most part, still trying to avoid catching something so close to my surgery date.

After lunch we moved to our hotel near the surgery center. I asked the clerk if they had discounted rates for Meltzer Clinic patients, and my rates magically dropped about $100 per night! After checking in we walked over to the AZ/88 restaurant to meet a co-worker. Keith and I have worked together quite often, but we had only met once about five years ago. Keith is one of the rare men who hugged me without hesitation. We talked and laughed for nearly two hours, then he had to leave to meet someone down in Tempe.

After getting back to our hotel, Susan and I finished unloading our car and got the room set up. Next we wandered over to Olive Garden for my 'last supper' -- lasagna! No more food after midnight tonight.

My pre-op is at 8:30am Wednesday, after which I will pick up my prescriptions. My prep starts at 1:00pm, when I start drinking lots of fluids. Around 5:30pm I start the bowel prep process. This isn't something I would normally look forward to, but this time it's different. Only about 32 hours to go...

Thank you for keeping us updated on your trip! It sounds like you are doing very well in preparing for your surgery and staying healthy! 31.5 hours left!

That's wonderful that you got a discount on your hotel room! $100 a night is some substantial savings!

I hope the rest of the time goes by without incident and you are able to finally get to the point where this is no longer a plan but an actuality! I'm so excited for you!

Hopefully you will be able to get some sleep tonight!

Lacy

Almost there! Good luck and happy thoughts for you!

I slept reasonably well last night, except for a rude awakening around midnight. Susan brought an extra alarm clock which had stayed in the car until last night. Somehow the alarm became activated. Initially we thought it was the bedside clock, I unplugged that one and the alarm continued. It took another minute or two of searching before I found it. Pulling the batteries resolved the issue.

Susan is downstairs getting breakfast, I am drinking mine -- an 8oz bottle of vanilla 'Ensure'. It tastes a bit like a melted vanilla milkshake, but it has an odd aftertaste.

Not taking hormones for the last two weeks has not been as bad as I thought. I am a bit more irritable, and I seem to have a slight headache most of the time, but my anger has not returned. I can probably thank the spiro for that. I do look forward to restarting estradiol soon.

I still have not thought too much about tomorrow. I am happy the day is at hand, but there is still an unknown quantity. I don't know how I will feel when I awake, mentally or physically. I just hope Susan handles it OK. I have put her through enough pain.

Only 25 more hours...

The GRS surgery is about 3 hours if all goes smoothly, so they will probably tell Susan to go take a hike and they will call when the surgery is over and you are being moved to recovery.

I honestly don't remember anything between when I went under and the day after the surgery. I do not remember being in a lot of pain just being very uncomfortable. They kept me pretty hopped up on narcotics the first few days, so I am glad that I took photos. Looking at things I wrote those first few days, yeah I was drugged up.

Dont worry too much about the day after - you will be fine and they will keep your pain under control. Susan should expect that you will be seeing pink elephants and purple turtles for a few days and tire easily fit many days after that. They got me out of bed in day 2 for maybe 10-20 minutes and that was a bit of a chore.

Quote from: jill610 on February 20, 2019, 07:44:07 AM
Susan should expect that you will be seeing pink elephants and purple turtles for a few days....

Thanks again Jill!

I have been telling Susan that I am now a unicorn, something rare and beautiful. Yesterday while shopping she found a stuffed pink Valentines Day unicorn. Guess what will be sharing my hospital bed?

Most folks have mentioned remembering very little about Day 1, and not much about Day 2. It is just a bit of fear about the unknown, but I have no doubt that this is the right path for me to take.

Best wishes and welcome to your future!  And your pre-op meeting a few minutes from now - you're almost there! 

Thanks @Kendra !!!

My pre-op went well. Received my goodie bag which included a robe, cotton underwear, Ensure, sanitary napkins, ice pack, hand mirror, travel pillow, specimin container, catheter, soap, irrigation syringe, lubricating jelly, a bottle of magnesium citrate, bacitracin ointment, hibiclens, hand sanitizer, some over-the-counter medications, and some strange tubular acrylic things. I guess I'll figure out what those are for soon enough.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FyOr05db.jpg&hash=600ec12c24dce4e86cd1eb27a6fbc8912f09b0c3) (https://imgur.com/yOr05db)

One of the nurses took some photos of my breasts from five different angles, then Dr. Ley came in to discuss tomorrow's events. She will start with the BA, which should take about 1.5hrs. Next they will reset the room and get to the vaginoplasty, which should take 3 - 4 hours. She had me disrobe to check things out, then became speechless for a few seconds. She was amazed by my hips, said she was jealous, and then said 'it was meant to be'. She checked out out my existing equipment and said the electrologist had done a great job, then said there was plenty of material for her to work with. The pre-op took about 1.5hrs, and Dr. Ley was smiling all the way through. The pre-op would have been shorter but we discussed some additional work I may have done when I return for my labiaplasty.

Susan and I are back at the hotel and I have started loading up on liquids. Only about 18 hours to go...

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 20, 2019, 02:15:53 PM
Thanks @Kendra !!!

My pre-op went well. Received my goodie bag which included a robe, cotton underwear, Ensure, sanitary napkins, ice pack, hand mirror, travel pillow, specimin container, catheter, soap, irrigation syringe, lubricating jelly, a bottle of magnesium citrate, bacitracin ointment, hibiclens, hand sanitizer, some over-the-counter medications, and some strange tubular acrylic things. I guess I'll figure out what those are for soon enough.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FyOr05db.jpg&hash=600ec12c24dce4e86cd1eb27a6fbc8912f09b0c3) (https://imgur.com/yOr05db)

One of the nurses took some photos of my breasts from five different angles, then Dr. Ley came in to discuss tomorrow's events. She will start with the BA, which should take about 1.5hrs. Next they will reset the room and get to the vaginoplasty, which should take 3 - 4 hours. She had me disrobe to check things out, then became speechless for a few seconds. She was amazed by my hips, said she was jealous, and then said 'it was meant to be'. She checked out out my existing equipment and said the electrologist had done a great job, then said there was plenty of material for her to work with. The pre-op took about 1.5hrs, and Dr. Ley was smiling all the way through. The pre-op would have been shorter but we discussed some additional work I may have done when I return for my labiaplasty.

Susan and I are back at the hotel and I have started loading up on liquids. Only about 18 hours to go...

Huge hugs, Jessica! I'm so excited for you I can hardly stand it!

Stephanie

(C'mon September! Seven months and 5 days...)

Looks familiar! Have, uhm, fun tonight [emoji90][emoji90][emoji90]

"Material" hehe glad to hear you may not need grafts, I didn't but was kinda looking forward to the tummy tuck that goes with it!

Good luck [emoji3590]

Thanks @Steph2.0 ! I am pretty sure you must be lying down for this.

@jill610 , yes, this will be one of those rare moments in my life when I will not be full of sh*t.

I am going through all of the directions again to make sure I will have everything I need for tomorrow, which really isn't much. It is easy to get distracted once I start thinking about what is going to occur!

Hang onto those, will come in handy after you get back home in a few weeks. Especially the after hours information.

12 hours to go. The magnesium citrate laxative is not too bad. It has an extremely strong citrus flavor, but no weird aftertaste. I expect the effects will make themselves known soon. Even though I have not eaten all day, I don't feel hungry. Susan is worried, but I have assured her that everything will be fine. I am starting to get a bit nervous, not about the surgery, but about the changes it will mean in my life. I will be entering a new world.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 20, 2019, 08:19:10 PM
12 hours to go. The magnesium citrate laxative is not too bad. It has an extremely strong citrus flavor, but no weird aftertaste. I expect the effects will make themselves known soon. Even though I have not eaten all day, I don't feel hungry. Susan is worried, but I have assured her that everything will be fine. I am starting to get a bit nervous, not about the surgery, but about the changes it will mean in my life. I will be entering a new world.

Jessica, you will be fine. Try and get some sleep if you can. I had set alarms on my phone so I could catch some catnaps in between the doses. It's going to be a long night with all those laxatives... just wait for the suppository.

The suppository is about 30 minutes from now. So far the clean-out has not been too explosive, but Susan is having a hard time going into the bathroom once I leave!

I am texting with my sister-in-law right now, and having an email exchange with a nephew. Neither of them know where I am or what is happening tomorrow. It seems odd that tomorrow will be a momentous day in my life, and none of my relatives will probably ever know about it.

That's a tough one for sure. All of my family, close friends and some coworkers knew, but since I had FFS at the same time everyone else just thought I was getting that done (HUUUUUUUGE effort to get that covered including lawyers and such).

And really, can you blame Susan for not wanting to use the bathroom after you [emoji1750]‍[emoji3601] [emoji23]

About two dozen of my co-workers know, but I expect word will spread soon enough. Only one person at work knows about my BA, if others don't notice it I'll be upset!

I went to bed around 11:00pm last night. A car alarm, and my colon, woke me up at 1:30am. I'm not very tired, and even though my stomach feels empty, I'm not hungry. Susan is asleep, which is good because her day will be much longer than mine. We need to be at the surgical center by 5:30am, so I should have plenty of time to shower once my intestines decide they are empty.

Today doesn't seem real. Other than being awake so early, it just seems like any other day. After decades of dreams and endless wishes, I am only a few hours away from finally having what I should have been born with.

Well now I know what happens when a countdown ticker hits zero, it starts counting up!

Fresh out of the shower and ready to go. My stomach feels queasy, I expect it is a combination of being empty and my nervousness. I will be waking Susan up in a few minutes. Although I will continue reading posts for a while, this will be my final post before surgery. I will post again as soon as I am coherent enough to let you know that I have permanently switched teams. I wanted my first post to be special, and I have been working on it for quite a while. It is typed in to my cell phone and ready to post, hopefully it will still be there when I wake up this afternoon. Surgery should take 5 - 6 hours.

I hope all of you have a fantastic day, I know mine will be. See you later...

Good luck!

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 21, 2019, 04:55:36 PM

His mind fraught with pain.
Protecting her all his life.
In darkness she waits.

Consumed with anger,
He sensed his end approaching.
He must set her free.

He shared his secret.
Gentle light now bathed her soul.
She began to grow.

Soon she became strong.
For her to bloom, he must fade.
His silent goodbye.

Surgery finished.
Reminders of him are gone.
His journey complete.

Her soul emerges.
Painful memories recede.
She is free to be.

Awake from her sleep,
Her mind and body align.
Her eyes open wide.

At last, I am she.
A new world beckons me on.
My journey begins.

Her friends cry with joy.

[emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590]

I am woman.

I began waking up about two hours ago. My throat is still scratchy, it feels like my bra is three sizes too small, and my crotch feels as though it has a slight rug burn. My pain pump is hooked up, and supper just arrived! Crackers and chicken broth, a veritable feast!

If you think your going to be hungry tomorrow, at least call your breakfast order in tonight. After things get going, they will call you if you don't have your order in on time so it's best to get it in early.

Congratulations on your surgery and from now on, things will only get better though you may remember the airway for a few days.

Gosh I can't believe I missed this whole thread Jessica! Congratulations! Yes you were a women before your surgery but more so now. Speedy recovery. I have your thread bookmarked now.

Big hugs girl.

Jessica Rose, Congratulations!!  And what a post this afternoon - you have me in tears reading that.

Of all your many accomplishments, I know you have a completely different perspective on life now.  I certainly do.

I mentioned this on my list a couple weeks post-op, but I recommend order all 3 meals each day when you call your food order in - makes things easier.

Now I hope you can get some really good rest.  And enjoy the dreams... mine were pretty wild the first couple days from anesthesia working its way out.

Thanks everyone!

My throat is feeling better, and my new entertainment center is just little sore, but that pressure bandage on my breasts is really uncomfortable. Susan has gone back to the hotel, I did get nauseous earlier, but the nurse gave me something that cured it quickly. They are also already giving me solid food! I had a turkey sandwich for supper. I will probably go to sleep soon.

Thank you for keeping up updated Jessica! I am so happy for you. It is good to read that your surgeries went well and that your recovery seems to be on track.

I imagine that the reality hasn't fully kicked in, and the drugs still have you in a "higher" state!

How does Susan seem to be doing? You mention she was having a bit of a time saying goodbye to your previous mechanics. I hope she is doing okay with the new and improved Jessica!

Lots of Gentle Hugs!
Lacy

Susan is taking this much better than I expected. She was worried about something going wrong during surgery and all week expressed a great desire for it to be over with. Just prior to surgery I mentioned that we would need to do some shopping for a suitable replacement, and she was laughing about it. I said now she would never again worry whether or not I had a headache, or if I was in the mood, or if I would last long enough to take care of her needs!!

I am getting some rest, and whenever I wake I hit the magic button for another round of happiness. I'm reasonably comfortable now, just some lingering tightness in my chest.

Thanks for keeping us updated.

Those first few hours after surgery will probably stick in my mind forever and I am sure it will for you. I am glad it has all gone well for you and you are resting comfortably. Keep up the happy juice and rest as much as you can. Congratulations

Take care

Liz


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh I am so happy to hear that everything went well for you!

And you totally are NOT going to remember yesterday or today lol. Take it easy and don't sweat the food orders, if you don't have it in, they will bug you about it and dirty secret is if you forget, they will get you something anyways.

I really can't imaging doing both submuscular implants and vaginaplasty at the same time! Right around the time the breasts start feeling OK it will be time to get that packing removed and dialate! Enjoy the button while you still have it

Congrats and so glad everything went well for you. As Dena, said everything gets better from here. Hugs
Mariah

Thank you for keeping us all updated, Jessica, and above all, congratulations!  I know that this is something you needed to do on your path, and now it is done.  Rest, and heal.  Oh, and as others have said, the first days after surgery will be a hazy blur in a few months.

I don't recall much from the first week other than a couple visitors, and Nurse Chris doing his magic trick, pulling yards of fabric gauze from seemingly nowhere. ;)

I hope both you and Susan get plenty of rest.  This has been pretty intense for both of you.

With friendship and love,
Michelle P.

Congratulations and wishing you a speedy healing.

Dr. Ley dropped by around 8:15am. We talked and laughed for about 30 minutes. She said my surgery went smoothly, and I lost less blood than most. My breast implants are 425cc for both sides. Dr. Ley removed the ACE bandage from my chest and gave me instructions on breast massage. They are sore as hell, but look amazing! My pain pump will be removed after lunch, so I am trying to wear it out before then. I am feeling very tired and will take a nap soon, but I am also very happy.

Congratulations Jessica Rose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy "birth" day, heal quick dear. Hugs and XXXXXs

An amazing young lady who shall remain nameless (her initials are Kendra), sent me some beautiful flowers today!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fc3VjEOz.jpg&hash=22c36330bb623400eaf88dc7b2a8b9846407e89b) (https://imgur.com/c3VjEOz)

Wow Jessica! How wonderful of that nameless girl (with the initials of Kendra) to send flowers. Wish I thought of that. Congratulations!

Big Hugs.

The nurse removed my happy button today so now I must rely on vicodin, but I expect that will be enough. Susan has been simply awesome. She even smiles and giggles when she sees my new breasts!

The nurses just changed my dressings, which was actually somewhat frightening and caused me to begin shaking. There was a bit more blood than I had expected, but the nurses said everything looked fine. This is all new to me, and reading the experiences of others simply can't prepare you for such a personal experience. I am OK now.

Congratulations Jessica Rose 🌸🌸🌸
Those flowers from you know who pale to your smile!

Hugs and smiles, The other Jessica

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 02:52:34 PM
An amazing young lady who shall remain nameless (her initials are Kendra), sent me some beautiful flowers today!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fc3VjEOz.jpg&hash=22c36330bb623400eaf88dc7b2a8b9846407e89b) (https://imgur.com/c3VjEOz)

The wonderful smile says it all


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Congrats Jessica, sending healing love, get well soon. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 02:52:34 PM
An amazing young lady who shall remain nameless (her initials are Kendra), sent me some beautiful flowers today!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fc3VjEOz.jpg&hash=22c36330bb623400eaf88dc7b2a8b9846407e89b) (https://imgur.com/c3VjEOz)

Hi Jessica_Rose,                       22 February 2019

Your smile says it all; you look absolutely stunning and Happy. Congratulations!!!

Best Always, Love
Christine

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 02:52:34 PM
An amazing young lady who shall remain nameless (her initials are Kendra), sent me some beautiful flowers today!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fc3VjEOz.jpg&hash=22c36330bb623400eaf88dc7b2a8b9846407e89b) (https://imgur.com/c3VjEOz)

I'm so happy for you! You are such an inspiration to me. Heal quickly and be happy, lovely lady.


Hugs x 2,
Sarah From Chitown
[emoji257]

Dr. Ley loved my new t-shirt! The back says 'Meltzer Clinic'.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaXqutwV.jpg&hash=3cbd6640e07975e3297936964f785773b71e8355) (https://imgur.com/aXqutwV)

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 04:51:25 PM
Dr. Ley loved my new t-shirt!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaXqutwV.jpg&hash=3cbd6640e07975e3297936964f785773b71e8355) (https://imgur.com/aXqutwV)

That's a hoot!
You should give her rights to give them to all her patients.

Congratulations. It sounds like you are doing extremely well.

You look so happy :)

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 04:51:25 PM
Dr. Ley loved my new t-shirt! The back says 'Meltzer Clinic'.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaXqutwV.jpg&hash=3cbd6640e07975e3297936964f785773b71e8355) (https://imgur.com/aXqutwV)

Jessica,

  Congratulations!! So happy for you!  Love, Love the shirt.  :P  I'm so glad it all went well.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Hugs

Julie

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 04:51:25 PM
Dr. Ley loved my new t-shirt! The back says 'Meltzer Clinic'.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaXqutwV.jpg&hash=3cbd6640e07975e3297936964f785773b71e8355) (https://imgur.com/aXqutwV)

Brilliant....that is so cool....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Despite my smiles, this is definitely not a walk in the park. Keeping a sense of humor really helps, but ... ouch. My current discomfort is temporary, the joy I will feel coming out the other side will last a lifetime. Concentrating on that outcome helps keep things in perspective.

Important lesson -- make sure you know if your pain meds will be administered on a regular schedule or on an 'as needed' basis!!!

I assumed my pain meds were on a regular schedule, and I was painfully wrong. For about 30 minutes this evening I experienced the most excruciating pain in my life. I have no scale of reference to describe it. My whole body was shaking, I felt cold, tears flowed freely, I was grimacing in pain, and I was on the verge of screaming out. At that point the nurse came in and asked if I needed pain meds, of course I said 'yes, please'. It took about 15 minutes for them to kick in, and I am OK now. My pain meds will now be brought every four hours.

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica: 
I am so very pleased to read that thing went nicely for you with the surgery...  great pictures, neat shirt and lovely flowers.... and your veritable feast of crackers sounded just a little on the lite side... perhaps tomorrow will bring a more satisfying meal as long as your doctor permits it.
   
Oh, regarding your mention of pain meds, you have the right idea, my free advice is that you might want to stay AHEAD OF THE PAIN and be taking your pain meds on schedule before the pain gets unbearable....

Again, I am loving following your surgery journey and I love seeing that big smile on your face...

Hugs, and well wishes and good healing and quick recovery!!!
Danielle

 

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 22, 2019, 08:22:11 PM
Despite my smiles, this is definitely not a walk in the park. Keeping a sense of humor really helps, but ... ouch. My current discomfort is temporary, the joy I will feel coming out the other side will last a lifetime. Concentrating on that outcome helps keep things in perspective.

Important lesson -- make sure you know if your pain meds will be administered on a regular schedule or on an 'as needed' basis!!!

I assumed my pain meds were on a regular schedule, and I was painfully wrong. For about 30 minutes this evening I experienced the most excruciating pain in my life. I have no scale of reference to describe it. My whole body was shaking, I felt cold, tears flowed freely, I was grimacing in pain, and I was on the verge of screaming out. At that point the nurse came in and asked if I needed pain meds, of course I said 'yes, please'. It took about 15 minutes for them to kick in, and I am OK now. My pain meds will now be brought every four hours.[/size]

That t-shirt is awesome!! 

Sorry to hear about the misunderstanding on pain meds (provided on request and not automatic).  I had a different type of glitch - after a couple days I thought my pain levels were low so I switched to ibuprofen, and then got clobbered by some pretty bad pain until I switched back to the nuclear stuff for ahwile.  Took me awhile to start gauging at what point the pain meds were wearing off.  We are each a bit different but if I started feeling very cold without reason (same room temperature) I knew my pain levels were about to increase and it was time to ask the nurse for help. 

One other thing to know about there: if you feel chilled/cold the nurse's station has a blanket heating machine.  They can bring in a set of replacement blankets that are pre-warmed. 

Once the nurse realized what was happening, she took quick action to get my pain back under control. In addition to the Vicodin, they gave me something to help me sleep. They did wake me up occasionally to provide medications, but I had a peaceful night -- lots of sleep and no pain. Seeing a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the room (thanks @Kendra ) helps brighten my day.

I believe today I will finally be able to get out of bed! It will be nice to move around vertically, even if only for a few minutes. My thanks to all of you who have provided words of support, or even had me in their thoughts. Your support is helping more than you know.

I have no experience at this yet but I've heard and seen you will need a lot of help getting out of bed for the first time. I think when it's my turn, I will ask for more pain meds a half hour before they want to get me out of bed.

Hang in there Jessica. I hear things will start to feel better in a couple more days. I'm sending you virtual roses and hugs.

Congratulations. 

You look very happy in spite of your pain issues.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Dr. Ley stopped by to see how things were going this morning. I also got out of bed, which was more of a struggle than I had expected. On the third try I finally made it about two steps to a recliner. We have started bladder training as well. All of the IV lines have been removed, but I still have a few drains along with the catheter.

Tomorrow I can restart hormones, and I get to take a shower -- I will finally see myself naked for the first time!

We tried walking a bit, but that is still out of reach. Standing is becoming easier. The nurses changed the dressings again today. I have not peeked yet, but I am told everything looks fine. I am trying to keep up with the breast massages, which aren't too bad. I'm still hoping for a shower tomorrow, but I need to be able to stand and walk a bit first. No issues with bladder training so far.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 23, 2019, 08:44:28 PM
We tried walking a bit, but that is still out of reach. Standing is becoming easier. The nurses changed the dressings again today. I have not peeked yet, but I am told everything looks fine. I am trying to keep up with the breast massages, which aren't too bad. I'm still hoping for a shower tomorrow, but I need to be able to stand and walk a bit first. No issues with bladder training so far.

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica:
I am very eagerly following your post-surgery events closely.  I am so very happy for you and in spite of your post surgery discomforts I can "hear" you big smile and can "feel" your happiness in your words.

I will be waiting for and looking for more of your exciting updates as you feel comfortable posting them.
Hugs and more hugs... and well wishes,
Danielle

So happy you haven't experienced any complications.  I'm sure you're excited to take that shower tomorrow!

Hugs and smiles, the other Jessica

After shift change the new nurse wanted to change my dressings again. I was sitting in a recliner at the time, so she brought me a walker. I stood up with no issues, and didn't start to black out, so she let me walk into the hallway and do a u-turn back into the room!!! I had no issues and didn't brown-out in the process!

The dressings are changed, I am back in bed, and some pain meds will arrive soon. Sounds like a perfect evening!

Congrats Jessica! Look at that smile! All the Best in your recovery!

This op takes far more out of you than you realise....you will likely be weeks before you feel fully recovered however gradual consistent progress is what is required and it sounds like that is exactly what you are achieving. You are doing great.

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Breakfast should arrive in about 20 minutes. The nurses just removed the drains by my labia -- MY LABIA!!! They did an amazing job, I didn't even feel it. I expect the Vicodin I took an hour ago helped quite a bit. Today I hope to walk around more, and I will finally get a shower. Oh, and I restart hormones today!!! I had one power surge (hot flash) a few hours after surgery, and I was dripping with sweat, but so far that was the only one.

Dear Jessica Rose:

How absolutely wonderful and great for you.  Even in pain you look sooooo happy!

Wishing you a speedy recovery and massive hugs,

Emma

P.S. That is a cool t shirt!

Congratulations on all the progress! Keep up with the walking, it gets a lot easier in a few days! Only a couple more before the packing comes out - how exciting!

You're doing so well, Jessica Rose! I'm so happy and excited for you. You've begun a whole new, wonderful era in your life. I wish you and Susan so much joy and happiness!



Hugs x 2,
Sarah From Chitown
[emoji257]

Jessica, I struggle to keep up with all your progress! Way to go, and I know you are managing your recovery swimmingly. All the best to you and to Susan.

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Enjoy the Best. Shower. Ever.

Thanks everyone for your continuous encouragement!

I just took another round of meds, which included estrogen!!! I ordered lunch and dinner, now I plan to try walking around the halls for a bit. I did have one small area of persistent bleeding, but that has pretty much cleared up now.

I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. When the nurses give me injections they always use my thighs because I have no stomach fat. I just walked (shuffled is more appropriate) down to the nurses station and back at a snail's pace, I even cheated by using a walker. It was like running back to back marathons. By the time I got back to my room I was exceptionally thirsty, extremely tired, and started shivering as I got into bed. Susan retrieved a warm blanket from the nurses station which really helped.

As others have said, try to get in shape before surgery. This is the most physically demanding thing I have ever done.

You're lucky that it's only two days on your back. The standard used to be 6 days on your back and you weren't permitted to elevate the bed. The only relief you had was you could lay on your sides but not on your stomach. When they let you out of bed, the first task they gave you was sitting on the edge of the bed without passing out. After you mastered that, you could stand next to the bed.

I am amazed that two days can knock a person down so much but I have seen it first hand. The good news is in a few days you should be able to move around pretty freely and may even consider a visit outside the hospital. Just don't overdo it as your surgery is still pretty fresh.

Thanks Dena!

Apparently the rules recently changed here. The story I heard was that a patient had temporarily checked out to get lunch. While off the hospital grounds her insurance company called to see how she was doing, and she mentioned she had gone out to eat. The insurance company said that since she was well enough to leave campus, then she did not need to be in the hospital any longer -- they refused to pay for any additional days of recovery. For now I am restricted to the campus grounds until I am discharged. Darn, the weather was looking rather nice later this week!

I am doing my best not to push too hard. I don't want to take any chances popping a stitch or delaying my recovery. I am trying to be the best patient they ever had!

There are some places you can sit outside just outside the doors of the hospital. You would still be on hospital grounds and within a minute of getting to the phone. That would probably be about the same delay you would have if you were walking around the loop inside the hospital. I think just across from the nursing station, the outside area has seating and there is some downstairs. If there isn't seating, grab a wheel chair as there are normally a few next to the nursing station.

Sorry you can't get farther away but try to enjoy some of our typical winter weather even if it's just outside the door.

I was under the not above 30 degrees rule for a full 7 days. No sitting. only walking or standing. It was the most annoying part. You are doing great and what you say about being fit is soo true.

I would hate to be going into this surgery really unfit I would imagine the recovery would be even harder than it is.

It still puts a smile on my face to think in terms of "my vagina" etc and I can relate to the pleasant strangeness of being able to say it. I am sure that will fade over time.

Congrats you sound like you  are doing really really well.

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

The doctors still want you to stay at least 4 or 5 more days don't they? And then you will need to stay close for another week after they discharge you? Perhaps ask the doctors and nurses where you can go without getting into trouble. I'm thinking I wouldn't want to do much for the first week.

@Donica ,unless there are complications I should be released on 2 March, and we will start the drive back to Colorado on 3 March. It is a 12 hour drive, but I expect to split it into two or three days -- I am not going to push anything other than a dilator!

Amazing the difference a few hours can make. I did two laps of the 2nd floor this afternoon, about 1/8 mile, without a walker or use of the handrails. Sometime within the next few hours I'll be taking my first shower ever without a built-in pointing device! ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fhn8e19Q.jpg&hash=452452a0334fed041d518272f772220f11a2e731) (https://imgur.com/hn8e19Q)

The smile of a champion!!!!

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 21, 2019, 05:35:40 PM
I am woman.

I began waking up about two hours ago. My throat is still scratchy, it feels like my bra is three sizes too small, and my crotch feels as though it has a slight rug burn. My pain pump is hooked up, and supper just arrived! Crackers and chicken broth, a veritable feast!

(https://www.susans.org/forums/gallery/0/59100-190518195520.jpeg)

.. mirror mirror on the wall, who's the latest of them all?....

"That would be that bitch Devlyn. She misses everything."  ;D

Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Speedy healing!

Hugs, Devlyn

You look positively radiant! Congratulations, lovely lady!


Hugs x 2,
Sarah From Chitown
[emoji257]

No worries @Devlyn , you have an annoying habit of speaking your mind and calling things as you see them. You may be a bitch at times, but you are a lovable one!!!

Thanks for your constant support @Emma1017 . The comments really help keep my spirits up!

I did take a shower earlier today, and it wore me out! I was starting to brown out a bit while drying off. I did not spend too much time checking out the new equipment, but my breasts are amazing and the pointing device appears to have been successfully recycled into a beautiful vagina. The day after surgery Dr. Ley mentioned she expected depth to be 6 - 6.5 inches, which is her normal target. Unpacking will occur on 27 Feb, then the real fun begins!

Dr. Ley dropped by while I was walking the halls earlier today. When we got back to my room I asked if she would mind taking a photo with me, and she was happy to do so. As we got the pose situated she said 'I am still jealous of your hips!'

Good advice on getting in shape before hand. The 90+ days of no strenuous exercise is starting to pay a toll on me... going from 6 spin classes a week to 0... eek.

You look like you are doing fantastic, just make sure you don't push yourself too hard. That's how I got this annoying perineal dehiscence.

Say hi to dr Ley for me :)

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 24, 2019, 03:04:52 PM
@Donica ,unless there are complications I should be released on 2 March, and we will start the drive back to Colorado on 3 March. It is a 12 hour drive, but I expect to split it into two or three days -- I am not going to push anything other than a dilator!

Jessica,

I spent three days going home from Scottsdale. I drove to Santa Fe, spend a day of recovery there and then finished the drive home on the third day. Deb was under the weather and I did most all of the driving and it was totally exhausting. Take it easy going home girl, it is a long go of it.

Tia Anne

@Jessica_Rose –

You are an incredible inspiration to me; thank you so much for sharing this part of your journey here!

Sending you lots of Good Energy for a speedy recovery and Warmest Wishes for a very long, happy, and especially Complete life.

eHug.

:)

Tia (@Anne Blake ), as always thanks for your words of wisdom. At this time of year weather is a big factor to consider, and I don't want to stray too far from my dilation schedule. The trip home will take as long as it takes for us to arrive safely.

Thanks for your kind words @Entropic Variable , knowing that some of my struggles may help someone else overcome theirs is a nice feeling.

After my shower I took a nap then had supper. I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to try taking another walk. For the first time since surgery I did not nearly black out on my initial attempt to stand. I successfully completed two more laps around my floor, and I didn't collapse as soon as I made it back to my room!

This has been much more difficult than I had anticipated, but yes, it has been worth it.

Thank you for keeping us updated Jessica! There are a few things that I didn't really think about being a big part of the experience when I first started down the path.

I know from talking to a TS woman in my industry that relearning how to empty your bladder is a challenge! She said it was extremely exciting when she finally managed it.

Also the thought of seeing your new body for the first time in the shower has to be a butterfly inducing experience!

It sounds like your recovery is going well and that you had a great team that worked on you!

Big congratulations on your Vagina!
Lacy

Quote from: RealLacy on February 24, 2019, 09:15:54 PM
Big congratulations on your Vagina!
Lacy

OK. That is not a phrase that I ever expected to hear in my lifetime! I don't know whether to laugh or cry tears of joy! I think the latter is more appropriate, since the hormones are starting to kick in again. Lacy, thanks for making my day!!!

There are a few odd things after surgery. One is the feeling that you need to pee. Wait, I have a catheter, how is that possible? Sometimes a catheter can be very sensitive to position, and it may not drain your bladder properly. Sitting on the toilet and uncapping the catheter usually works to drain your bladder, and it feels quite natural.

The nurses here are awesome. One got me situated for overnight, she checked my surgical sites, drained my catheter bag, brought my meds and a fresh ice bag, then told me the overnight schedule. Before leaving she asked if there was anything I needed, I said 'how about some chocolate ice cream?' Guess what? She brought me some! This place is awesome!!! A new vagina AND chocolate ice cream all in one stop!!!

Quote from: RealLacy on February 24, 2019, 09:15:54 PM
[...]
Big congratulations on your Vagina!
Lacy

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 24, 2019, 09:48:41 PM
OK. That is not a phrase that I ever expected to hear in my lifetime! I don't know whether to laugh or cry tears of joy!
[...]

I did both when I read @RealLacy 's message.  I'm just so completely delighted for you @Jessica_Rose!

:)  :)  :)  :)  :)

P.S.:  I'd say that you absolutely earned that chocolate ice cream.  ;)

Thanks once again @Entropic Variable !

I had a rough night. In addition to pushing myself too far yesterday, it felt like something was pinching some of my new lady bits. It is great that I already have some feeling down there, but it was quite painful. I called the nurse and she checked out the surgical area, which included my holding a mirror to show her where it hurt. Other than a dark bruise near the upper section, it looked perfect -- although it is sewn shut to hold in all of the packing. The nurse didn't see anything obvious, so she suggested trying different positions plus a sleep aid (Ativan). I found it hard to get comfortable, but I did manage a few hours of sleep. I was at least feeling well enough to start the morning off with two laps around the floor!

Susan will be here soon, and I can't say enough about how amazing she has been this week. She realizes this will finally allow me to find peace and happiness, and she is willing to work with me so we can find it together. I will love her always and forever.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 24, 2019, 09:48:41 PM
OK. That is not a phrase that I ever expected to hear in my lifetime! I don't know whether to laugh or cry tears of joy! I think the latter is more appropriate, since the hormones are starting to kick in again. Lacy, thanks for making my day!!!

There are a few odd things after surgery. One is the feeling that you need to pee. Wait, I have a catheter, how is that possible? Sometimes a catheter can be very sensitive to position, and it may not drain your bladder properly. Sitting on the toilet and uncapping the catheter usually works to drain your bladder, and it feels quite natural.

The nurses here are awesome. One got me situated for overnight, she checked my surgical sites, drained my catheter bag, brought my meds and a fresh ice bag, then told me the overnight schedule. Before leaving she asked if there was anything I needed, I said 'how about some chocolate ice cream?' Guess what? She brought me some! This place is awesome!!! A new vagina AND chocolate ice cream all in one stop!!!

!!!!CHOCOLATE!!!! How nice! Now I know what to ask for ;D Hang in there Jessica. The nurses seem to be taking good care of you. I'll bet a couple more days and you'll be running laps and skidding to a stop at your room. You'll have to change your socks first. The ones they give you are skid proof ;)

Hugs girl!

After breakfast I did three laps! On occasion instead of relying on the catheter bag, I sit on the toilet and remove the catheter cap to let it drain. Several times I have felt urine bypass the catheter and drip onto my sanitary pad. I mentioned this to a nurse and she said it was a good sign. It indicated my urethra was not very swollen and I would probably not have any issues once the catheter was removed. Whether I get a stream or a spray is still anyone's guess.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 25, 2019, 08:24:30 AM


"...........

Susan will be here soon, and I can't say enough about how amazing she has been this week. She realizes this will finally allow me to find peace and happiness, and she is willing to work with me so we can find it together. I will love her always and forever.

That is so wonderful that you have such great support. We certainly do find out how much inner beauty and strength out wonderful wives have when it comes to supporting us through this amazing journey....

You seem to be making great progress...congrats [emoji3]

Peeing is a whole different experience from now on...I was terrified that I had very little bladder control as After 7days with a catheter I had little sensation...the body is remarkable and all my function/control/sensation returned within about 4-5 days . Sounds from what you have said that you may have good control from day 1.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thanks @LizK !!!

A beautiful couple we know, who we also consider to be family (their initials are @Steph2.0 and @SassyCassie ), sent us an edible bouquet this afternoon! It was way too much for Susan and I, so we shared it with the nurses and our new friend Dani. Dr. Meltzer performed Dani's surgery the same day Dr. Ley performed mine, so Dani and I will forever share this new birthday! Looks like I will be going home with two kitties of my very own!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fcbveebc.jpg&hash=cecbf60f90dcd91b9e6e0e9ff79505958054249e) (https://imgur.com/cbveebc)

Helloooooo Kitty! [emoji16]

Deb stopped by this afternoon, apparently she has some relationship with the Meltzer Clinic. She wanted to go over the events scheduled for Wednesday -- unpacking and dilation. She described the unpacking process in great detail -- 20 yards of gauze are stuffed where? Then went over some breathing exercises to make dilation more comfortable.

After supper Dr. Ley dropped by to see how I was doing. She mentioned that my breasts were starting to round out nicely, and that my new kitty was looking good with just a little bruising. The next goal is a bowel movement, hopefully the stool softeners, metamucil, and prune juice will help soften things up nicely.

I walked six laps (3/8 mile) after Dr. Ley left and did not feel tired at all. There are a few muscles still complaining, but I think they will start cooperating within the next few days.

I modified my dilators, easier to remember which side is up.  Here's the #3 and #4. 

(https://www.dropbox.com/s/15tpk2ng8ewj9c7/2019-02-25%2018.10.44.jpg?raw=1)

Quote from: Kendra on February 25, 2019, 08:28:24 PM
I modified my dilators, easier to remember which side is up.  Here's the #3 and #4. 

(https://www.dropbox.com/s/15tpk2ng8ewj9c7/2019-02-25%2018.10.44.jpg?raw=1)

Dang it, I thought we were being clever and original. I should've known that Kendra would've thought of it first. 

Don't worry @Steph2.0 , @Kendra has been at this longer than we have. At least I beat her to the "I got Ley'd in Scottsdale" t-shirt!

Took my meds for the night. Going to try ibuprofen and ativan instead of Vicodin. Also got another round of Metamucil. My breasts are quite sore right now, hopefully the ibuprofen will help. The massages are unpleasant. I am surprised that I still have nearly full range of motion with my arms, although some positions are a bit painful.

I am also a bit nervous tonight. The last time I went this long without a bowel movement was after my colonoscopy. I described that one to Susan as feeling like a load of legos and razor blades! I hope this time around it is not quite so painful.

The nurse's station might have small single servings of prune juice, and I added that to every meal for the first week.  Solved the problem without having to take additional pills.

Hi Jessica and Susan, Bet you thought I had forgotten all about you. Well if you did you would be wrong. I am just piss poor at the social graces and niceties. I originally had intentions to drag Michelle down that way to surprised you two. Unfortunately other things came up and go in the way. Obviously you haven't seen us there. I also haven't kept up with how you have been doing here on the forums. I have asked Michelle a couple of times how you were doing though. As you may have noticed my time spent here has been severely reduced. I do miss some of the people here but my connection to the forums has been damaged and pretty much lost. I guess I have lost my addiction I used to have with the site. I honestly cannot foresee it being restored. The sense of worth I felt here is gone.
  Oh hell there I go making a post all about me again. I'm sorry. These thoughts are in my head and like to come out.
   I am happy for you Jessica. It's done and you are a better image of the female you have always know you were meant to be. This can only help you be the kind gentle person you craved to be able to be and not the angry unhappy doppelganger that used to inhabit your head. The discomfort and pain you feel is a small thing compared to the pain and hurt you not only caused yourself but to the family you loved with all your heart. This pain too shall pass and be forgotten. You are a much better person for it and Susan and your girls all see the improvements. I am happy that you are happier and more complete than you have ever been.

Love to you both,
  Laurie

@Laurie , you have had some hard times lately, so I truly appreciate your comments. I know you have been thinking about me, true friends tend to do that sort of thing. As always, Susan and I wish you all the best.

I woke up twice last night with the need to pee! Around 10:00pm, then again at midnight, I have lost my faith in catheters! Other than that I slept well, so the ibuprofen and Ativan worked. My breasts are not nearly as sore today as they were yesterday. I woke up just before 6:00am and decided to take a walk. I completed 16 laps (1 mile) in about 42 minutes. Not exactly a good pace for a marathon, but I'll take it! I already had another round of Metamucil, and more prune juice is on the way. There is still a little bleeding, but not very much. I am feeling awesome today!!!

Great to hear you are feeling better Jessica! How sweet of Stephanie and Cassie to sent the wonderful basket. Dang, I should have thought of that. I don't think my head is screwed on as tight as you ladies. I'll get the next one.

Big hugs!

Jessica walked another mile after breakfast, then she took a little detour. The waiting room lined with sunlit windows caught her eyes. She noticed the glass doors to the balcony, which called to her. Into the sun she stepped, the gentle light falling on her skin, a light breeze ruffling her hair. There were three small tables, with two chairs apiece, she chose the one in the corner. Before she sat down she ran her hand softly over the metal, feeling the texture and the pattern, noticing the faint scent of metal, then she sat. Bathed by the warmth of the sun, and cooled by the gentle breeze, she began to cry. After decades of hiding in the dark, unable to express herself, Jessica is now free. For the first time in her life she is free to walk in the sun, free to feel the wind in her hair, and simply free to be.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHYVQfOu.jpg&hash=8941df9eeea40cd71fb5cb20b759c6ce20eca257) (https://imgur.com/HYVQfOu)

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 26, 2019, 12:17:32 PM
Jessica walked another mile after breakfast, then she took a little detour. The waiting room lined with sunlit windows caught her eyes. She noticed the glass doors to the balcony, which called to her. Into the sun she stepped, the gentle light falling on her skin, a light breeze ruffling her hair. There were three small tables, with two chairs apiece, she chose the one in the corner. Before she sat down she ran her hand softly over the metal, feeling the texture and the pattern, noticing the faint scent of metal, then she sat. Bathed by the warmth of the sun, and cooled by the gentle breeze, she began to cry. After decades of hiding in the dark, unable to express herself, Jessica is now free. For the first time in her life she is free to walk in the sun, free to feel the wind in her hair, and simply free to be.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHYVQfOu.jpg&hash=8941df9eeea40cd71fb5cb20b759c6ce20eca257) (https://imgur.com/HYVQfOu)

Clearly, you should cross post in the Writer's thread...

;D

And, it is GREAT to hear you are feeling better!

Kate

Thank you @KatieP ! I had never been able to write like that until about two years ago, something about estrogen releasing the more creative side I suppose.

Dr. Ley dropped by this morning to check up on me again. A few hours later Meg told me the schedule for Wednesday morning. I need to wake up early, they plan to unpack my vagina and begin dilation around 7:15am -- before breakfast! Eeeek!!! Or would that be Squeeee!?!?!?

I did have a bowel movement earlier today. I avoided straining, however there was still some blood which the nurses said was normal. I am supposed to nurse a bottle of magnesium citrate laxative through the rest of the day just to make sure things are moving along.

There are some massive gnarly blue-green bruises where my thighs meet my torso, but I know they will fade. I walked another mile after lunch, that makes about 3 miles so far today. Once I rest up a bit I will take another shower.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 26, 2019, 03:22:34 PM
Thank you @KatieP ! I had never been able to write like that until about two years ago, something about estrogen releasing the more creative side I suppose.

Dr. Ley dropped by this morning to check up on me again. A few hours later Meg told me the schedule for Wednesday morning. I need to wake up early, they plan to unpack my vagina and begin dilation around 7:15am -- before breakfast! Eeeek!!! Or would that be Squeeee!?!?!?

I did have a bowel movement earlier today. I avoided straining, however there was still some blood which the nurses said was normal. I am supposed to nurse a bottle of magnesium citrate laxative through the rest of the day just to make sure things are moving along.

There are some massive gnarly blue-green bruises where my thighs meet my torso, but I know they will fade. I walked another mile after lunch, that makes about 3 miles so far today. Once I rest up a bit I will take another shower.

SQUEEEEK!

I suspected that was coming @Steph2.0 , but I wanted you to have the honors!!! I just hope our furry kids don't find out that I now have a built in 'Hello Kitty' squeak toy!

I just took a shower, and I'm beat! I even washed my hair this time. I also noticed some truly massive bruising down my left side, with just a little on the right. A localized bruise on my left breast, and a pale yellow-green bruise across my entire mid-torso. But even with all of that, I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!

Susan kept peeking in as I showered, and at one point I aimed my catheter at her and said 'I know, that really doesn't count', and she laughed. She has also made note of the 'tenting' caused by my ice pack when I am in bed. Susan has kept up a great sense of humor through all of this. She is awesome.

I try to tell the truth in my posts, this may be a hard read for some of you.

During my shower yesterday I had to remove some gauze padding which became stuck to the catheter and my clitoris due to dried blood. The area is still one large hideous bruise, a very dark blue, and there are still quite a few stitches down there. This was the first time I had looked closely, and it freaked me out. Other than the color, stitches, and catheter, everything looks great, but it is definitely something that will take time to get used to.

Sitting on the toilet isn't much better. You are forced to look between your legs and reality hits hard. Your penis is gone, your testicles are gone, your scrotum is only partially there, but it looks quite different. In place of your penis is now a catheter. Your whole crotch hurts,  and a bowel movement can be terrifying because you may pop a stitch, and at a minimum you put pressure on nearby stitches which may cause them to bleed. We are not used to experiencing so much pain and blood in that area. It can be quite a shock to see what has been done.

I am still glad that I took this step, but it has been significantly more physically painful and mentally challenging  than I expected. I am not sure I could have held it together without Susan. She has been my rock.

Hang in there Jessica. Your almost through the rough part. You have a wonderful support group. I second the SQUEEEK.

A nurse showed up around 6:30am with some meds -- Vicodin and Ativan. Meg showed up around 7:15am to get the party started. After getting the lube, Bacitracin, and dilators situated Meg began removing most of the sutures, with only an occasional pinch. The black lump that I assumed to be my clitoris was actually a blood clot which had dried over it. when Meg removed the clot, my clitoris looked fine. Meg spread some Bacitracin along the suture lines, put some on my clitoris, then a bit on the tip of dilator #1. Next Meg put some lubricant on the dilator, told me how to hold it, and directed me to begin insertion. There we some muscle resistance about 1/2 inch to 3/4 inch inside, but once past that it went in smoothly. With a little pressure I was able to get it down to the 6 inch mark. Yea!!!

I left it there for 20 minutes with continued pressure, then slowly withdrew the dilator. After breakfast I cleaned up and went on a walk. Removing the stitches made walking much more comfortable. My remaining sessions today are at 11:00am, 3:00pm, 7:00pm, and midnight. Tomorrows sessions are 8:00am, 1:00pm, 6:00pm, and 11:00pm. The catheter comes out on Friday, hopefully then I will begin feeling normal again.

Jessica, congratulations on your recovery so far.  I have been following this thread, and I want to thank you for the detailed account of your recovery.  It gives me a good idea what to expect when it is my turn.

This is the type of thread that helped me so much with my decisions, surgeries and recovery.  You are helping many futures.

Quote from: Kendra on February 27, 2019, 12:28:44 PM
This is the type of thread that helped me so much with my decisions, surgeries and recovery.  You are helping many futures.

I am absorbing every word, as I have with my other friends as went through this. The difference this time is now I have an actual date when I know I'll be experiencing the same things. It's so much more meaningful now. Thank you for your candid reports!

Six months, 26 days...

Stephanie

Thanks @KathyLauren , @Kendra , and @Steph2.0 ! If anyone has any specific questions please let me know by either a reply to this thread or a PM. Many others have helped me during this journey, and I want to play it forward.

I have dilated three times so far today. Although uncomfortable, it is not painful. My vagina just feels extremely sore, which is understandable. The process is smooth, nothing feels rough. The most difficult part is getting past the resistance just inside the entrance. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling as you attempt penetration helps quite a bit. Having an empty bowel and bladder makes it much more comfortable. Lube is your best friend!

Wow really really really happy for you Jessica Rose!!!  Massive hugs, Emma

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 24, 2019, 03:16:36 PM
Amazing the difference a few hours can make. I did two laps of the 2nd floor this afternoon, about 1/8 mile, without a walker or use of the handrails. Sometime within the next few hours I'll be taking my first shower ever without a built-in pointing device! ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fhn8e19Q.jpg&hash=452452a0334fed041d518272f772220f11a2e731) (https://imgur.com/hn8e19Q)

You look great!!  I'm so happy for you.  Love the smile.

Julie

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 27, 2019, 05:11:36 PM
Thanks @KathyLauren , @Kendra , and @Steph2.0 ! If anyone has any specific questions please let me know by either a reply to this thread or a PM. Many others have helped me during this journey, and I want to play it forward.

I have dilated three times so far today. Although uncomfortable, it is not painful. My vagina just feels extremely sore, which is understandable. The process is smooth, nothing feels rough. The most difficult part is getting past the resistance just inside the entrance. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling as you attempt penetration helps quite a bit. Having an empty bowel and bladder makes it much more comfortable. Lube is your best friend!

Sounds pretty normal!  Healing takes time, alas. 

I'm off dilation for a few more days while my labiaplasty work heals up.  I get to take a shower in a couple more days, a huge relief, and I lose the catheter on Monday.

I'm shuffling about the apartment fairly well now, and fortunately I have @Laurie here to help out.  If my surgery hadn't been moved up we would both likely be in Arizona pestering you and Susan!

Just take your time and heal well.

Thanks @Michelle_P ! Susan and I had been wondering about how your surgery had gone, but we have been a bit wrapped up in our own adventure. So glad you have @Laurie there to help keep you on track.

After my third dilation I saw Dr. Ley again and asked her how many dots should I see when the dilator is fully inserted? She said 'none'. Well that left me with some work to do. For dilation #4 at 7:00pm I bumped up the thermostat a bit and pulled out my mp3 player and headphones. I lubed the dilator down to the fourth dot ( there are five dots) and began the session. It was quite uncomfortable, and produced a few drops of blood, but when I checked the dilator the lubricant had reached dot #5. I used the same technique, this time also rocking my hips for dilation #5 at midnight, and was again successful with noticeably less discomfort, but 'ouch' is still appropriate. My next round is at 8:00am, but I will back it up to 7:00 am since breakfast comes at 8:00am.

I may have turned a corner this morning. I awoke around 5:45am and decided to alter my dilation schedule. As I got out of bed I quickly realized that detaching my catheter from the bag is best done before heading to the bathroom! I had a nice bowel movement, got my dilation kit ready, set out the 'do not disturb sign', put my headphones on, then got to work. I was able to reach the same depth as last night - all five dots - with minimal discomfort (it still hurt, just not as much). A little blood drained out with the lube, about the same as overnight. After cleaning up I fixed my hair, then walked the corridors for about a mile, all before breakfast. I feel pretty good about the start to the day. I am hopeful that I have finally gotten past the hard part. There is still a long way to go, but hopefully I am through the mountains, driving along the foothills on my way to the prairie.

Susan has also become quite fierce! I mentioned in a text that I may have to tell my family soon if my brother passes away before I can readily travel, Susan responded with this:

'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

Yes, I think she is a keeper. I love you @Susan_Rose .

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 28, 2019, 10:00:12 AM
I may have turned a corner this morning. I awoke around 5:45am and decided to alter my dilation schedule. As I got out of bed I quickly realized that detaching my catheter from the bag is best done before heading to the bathroom! I had a nice bowel movement, got my dilation kit ready, set out the 'do not disturb sign', put my headphones on, then got to work. I was able to reach the same depth as last night - all five dots - with minimal discomfort (it still hurt, just not as much). A little blood drained out with the lube, about the same as overnight. After cleaning up I fixed my hair, then walked the corridors for about a mile, all before breakfast. I feel pretty good about the start to the day. I am hopeful that I have finally gotten past the hard part. There is still a long way to go, but hopefully I am through the mountains, driving along the foothills on my way to the prairie.

Susan has also become quite fierce! I mentioned in a text that I may have to tell my family soon if my brother passes away before I can readily travel, Susan responded with this:

'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

Yes, I think she is a keeper. I love you @Susan_Rose .

[emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590]!!!

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 28, 2019, 10:00:12 AM
>
I may have to tell my family soon

>
'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

I couldn't agree more. 

Make the best long-term decisions, be who you are and enjoy what you've accomplished.  You're nailing it.

It has been nearly seven days since I began waking up from surgery, from the long nightmare that used to be my daily life. I can describe the week in a single word (in vivid Technicolor):

But I say that with a smile. Pain seems to be always present in our lives, but occasionally a lucky few discover the primary source of their pain, and they learn how to defeat it. Sometimes the cost is high -- friends, family, resources, and yes, sometimes even more pain. I completely underestimated how physically painful and emotionally demanding this week would be, I was off by several orders of magnitude, but I am glad I did it. The physical pain will slowly diminish, and the haunting memories of who I used to be will fade, until one day all that remains will be me -- the person who was hiding behind the pain.

Jessica-rose we go into this surgery as prepared as we know how to be but nothing can really prepare you for the reality of GCS, recovery and dilation. I think you are doing remarkably well. Congratulations on your hard won progress, the biggest positive I can suggest to you is that it does get a bit easier as you heal. Take care of yourself and thanks for sharing

Liz


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Congratulations Jessica. You have arrived. As your dear Susan has said, this is your time. You and Susan's time. You and Susan can now move on and enjoy you news lives together.

Sending my best wishes to your both and your bother and family.

Big hugs!

One more dilation today around 10:00pm. My next will be around 6:00am Friday morning. I am making my own dilation schedule, one which fits better with my being an early riser. I saw Dr. Ley again today, she will drop by in the morning to remove my catheter -- Yea!!! Or should I say 'yi-Pee'!!!

I think I have talked to Dr. Ley every day except one since surgery. During my initial consultation she seemed a bit cold, but also extremely professional. Now that I have gotten to know her a bit, I realize she is a warm and loving woman. Even though I am still healing and have a ways to go, I would not hesitate to recommend Dr. Ley to anyone. I already set a date for my return trip - 26 July for labiaplasty and some brow work. Dr. Ley commented that my brow is not that noticeable, but I see it every day, and I want it gone.

I dilated around 6:00am this morning. It is still uncomfortable, but slowly improving. After cleaning up I decided to wear clothes instead of a hospital gown. Knowing the catheter was coming out made me feel less like a patient and more like a woman. I wore my "I Got Ley'd" t-shirt, a long blue skirt, and some black sandals

Dr. Ley dropped by at 7:30am and removed my catheter. it was quick and painless. I mentioned about some very painful chafing on my labia (wow, MY labia) and she said since I wasn't bleeding much I should try panty liners. I found one in the 'welcome bag', and it really is much more comfortable. There are still some stitches that poke me from time to time, eventually they will come out on their own -- or with a little help. I already have an electrolysis appointment set for next Thursday, I just have to avoid the surgical areas until one month after surgery.

I should be released tomorrow. We will head home on Sunday, probably spending the night in Albuquerque. I expect once we get home I will have some time to contemplate what has occurred. After hiding behind a facade for five decades, for the first time in my life I have nothing left to hide. It will take some time to adjust, some time for me to learn how to be me.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 01, 2019, 11:05:25 AM
I dilated around 6:00am this morning. It is still uncomfortable, but slowly improving. After cleaning up I decided to wear clothes. Knowing the catheter was coming out made me feel less like a patient and more like a woman. I wore my "I Got Ley'd" t-shirt, a long blue skirt, and some black sandals

Dr. Ley dropped by at 7:30am and removed my catheter. it was quick and painless. I mentioned about some very painful chafing on my labia (wow, MY labia) and she said since I wasn't bleeding much I should try panty liners. I found one in the 'welcome bag', and it really is much more comfortable. There are still some stitches that poke me from time to time, eventually they will come out on their own -- or with a little help. I already have an electrolysis appointment set for next Thursday, I just have to avoid the surgical areas until one month after surgery.

I should be released tomorrow. We will head home on Sunday, probably spending the night in Albuquerque. I expect once we get home I will have some time to contemplate what has occurred. After hiding behind a facade for five decades, for the first time in my life I have nothing left to hide. It will take some time to adjust, some time for me to learn how to be me.

All I can do is Squeek and sigh!
Kendra is correct, these accounts of yours is very important for yourself, but also for those in contemplation.

One more small but important event -- I peed! No catheter required, and not a garden sprayer, a nice downward stream. Not exactly something I would write home about, but an oddly important event.

Congrad, peeing now as a lady and not spraying all over is great to hear.  Just another step in being complete lady.  Just need to keep up the dilating.

I just found out that I will be released early Saturday morning, they are doing the paperwork now. Although we had not planned to hit the road until Sunday, I think we will leave town tomorrow if possible. Hotel checkout time is 11:00am. I could do my first dilation around 6:00am in the recovery center, and a second just before leaving the hotel. Albuquerque should only be about 7 hours away, so I would do a third as soon as we check in, and a fourth before going to bed. The time between dilations may not be optimal, but I think it will be sufficient. We are expecting quite a bit of snow at our house Saturday into Sunday, but a friend said he would clear the driveway for us.

I am excited to be going home, but a little sad to leave all the wonderful folks here at the surgical center, my new place of birth. I already have a return visit planned, so it won't be 'goodbye'.

Wow, I leave for a few days and you have a mountain of new updates! So happy for you! Especially the peeing part, a healthy % have to go home with a catheter and that kinda sucked let me tell you.

Have you managed to keep the perineal stitches intact? Mine broke shortly after I got home from a bowel movement and it will be at least another month (it's been a month already) since it happened.

They don't really tell you any of this, but to your point this is what we are getting into and at some point it's just a big realization how different our bodies now are. I had a hard time with the swelling and a similar reaction to you. I wasn't expecting it and it was like "whoa. Glad it's gone but this is t what I thought I was getting". After 7 weeks (TODAY!!), it's starting to come down but still super sore.

Definitely keep an eye on the dots, Nicole will hound you every Monday to make sure you are keeping depth. I am now on #4 with 6.5" (all dots), but you are right, it's uncomfortable. Doesn't hurt but isn't the most pleasant thing to do either. Once you get down to twice a day, it becomes a lot more manageable!! Oh and your investment in lube and pads slows down a bit too haha!

Good luck with your discharge tomorrow and take all the goodies you can - lube, bacitracin, pads, etc!

Wow we almost bumped into each other in July - I was scheduled for labiaplasty on the 27th (26th is my birthday), but ended up moving it back to May because scheduling around it got out of hand.

Hi Jessica,

I'm so glad you get to come home! It's been quite a journey, and I'm so glad you and Susan are getting through it so well.

Take it easy on your drive. With the snow, there's no hurry and you don't want to get trapped somewhere. Snow flurries here today, but not much yet. Except the peak has been getting hammered all day.

Congratulations on your entry to this new part of your life!

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Wow! Great news Jessica. Leaving for home tomorrow. Such a long drive. Have a safe trip home ladies. Let us know when you get to Albuquerque.

Big hugs.

Be careful coming home girl, lots of snow on Saturday and some more on Sunday with really cold scheduled for Sunday. Don't hurry it, stay safe!

Tia Anne

Quote from: jill610 on March 01, 2019, 02:18:37 PM
Have you managed to keep the perineal stitches intact? Mine broke shortly after I got home from a bowel movement and it will be at least another month (it's been a month already) since it happened.

They don't really tell you any of this, but to your point this is what we are getting into and at some point it's just a big realization how different our bodies now are. I had a hard time with the swelling and a similar reaction to you. I wasn't expecting it and it was like "whoa. Glad it's gone but this is t what I thought I was getting". After 7 weeks (TODAY!!), it's starting to come down but still super sore.

Definitely keep an eye on the dots, Nicole will hound you every Monday to make sure you are keeping depth. I am now on #4 with 6.5" (all dots), but you are right, it's uncomfortable. Doesn't hurt but isn't the most pleasant thing to do either. Once you get down to twice a day, it becomes a lot more manageable!! Oh and your investment in lube and pads slows down a bit too haha!

Good luck with your discharge tomorrow and take all the goodies you can - lube, bacitracin, pads, etc!

So far all of my stitches are intact. I plan to continue taking a mild laxative and stool softener for a few months until the stitches dissolve. I have had issues with constipation in the past, and I certainly don't want something like that to interfere with my recovery.

Yes indeed, that first peek at my new entertainment center was somewhat traumatic, all the bruising and swelling was way beyond what I expected. I don't think there is any way to mentally prepare for such a drastic visual change. It already looks quite a bit better, squinting helps a bit, but ... ouch.

I am not quite sure where we are supposed to measure from, the surface of the labia, or the vaginal opening near the urethra? I am bottoming out (another ouch), but I know the discomfort will not last forever. Congrats on your dilation success!

I am hoping for some parting gifts!

@RandyL , @Donica , @Anne Blake , thank you all for your travel concerns. The trip to Albuquerque may be wet around Flagstaff, but there is no snow in the forecast along tomorrow's route. Sunday definitely concerns me. With my winter tires safe at home in the garage, I do not look forward to driving in snowy or icy conditions. If I am uncomfortable with the potential road conditions near my home, we may just try to get a bit closer on Sunday and complete the trip Monday. I have not gone through all of this just to take a gamble getting home.

I know it's the long way around but you might be better off considering taking I 10 east if there is much in the way of bad weather. We call it the southern route and sometime we preferred it in the summer because it was flatter, an important consideration with the motor home.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 01, 2019, 07:09:50 PM
So far all of my stitches are intact. I plan to continue taking a mild laxative and stool softener for a few months until the stitches dissolve. I have had issues with constipation in the past, and I certainly don't want something like that to interfere with my recovery.

Yes indeed, that first peek at my new entertainment center was somewhat traumatic, all the bruising and swelling was way beyond what I expected. I don't think there is any way to mentally prepare for such a drastic visual change. It already looks quite a bit better, squinting helps a bit, but ... ouch.

I am not quite sure where we are supposed to measure from, the surface of the labia, or the vaginal opening near the urethra? I am bottoming out (another ouch), but I know the discomfort will not last forever. Congrats on your dilation success!

I am hoping for some parting gifts!

I have what my gp calls a "lazy" bowel. So miralax and I are frenemies.

Keep the packet they gave you at the preop visit handy, if you lost that then reprint the PDF. Measuring is from the outer edge of the labia, and in the packet they say to expect to "lose" half inch to reduction in swelling. I don't know that I've lost much, but swelling is down significantly.

Now if only I could say the same for my ravenous appetite!!

Quote from: Dena on March 01, 2019, 07:57:31 PM
I know it's the long way around but you might be better off considering taking I 10 east if there is much in the way of bad weather. We call it the southern route and sometime we preferred it in the summer because it was flatter, an important consideration with the motor home.

Thanks Dena! We actually came here via the southern route so we could visit our daughter in Socorro, NM, but it does add about an hour to our road time. I will check the weather again before we leave tomorrow, and if the route through Flagstaff looks questionable we will take I-10 over to I-25.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 01, 2019, 10:04:13 PM
Thanks Dena! We actually came here via the southern route so we could visit our daughter in Socorro, NM, but it does add about an hour to our road time. I will check the weather again before we leave tomorrow, and if the route through Flagstaff looks questionable we will take I-10 over to I-25.

Hi Jessica,                       02 March 2019

I have been following your thread; what you have written has given me the incentive to follow suit after I have relocated to Phoenix this spring. I am a good bit older than you, by about 18 years. I hope to have many years as the woman I long to be. I know with Dena helping me, I will succeed. Thank you for your frank discussion of your transition adventure.

Dena gave me advice the night of 17 January 2019. I didn't listen and the night didn't end well. Fortunately, the only injuries were to the car, tree and my ego, in that order.

Take the safest route home even if it takes an extra day or two.

God Bless both you and Susan; have a safe and enjoyable trip home and happy and enjoyable new lives together.

Best Always, Love
Christine

Just a quick update... We arrived safely in Albuquerque. There was a little more rain than expected south of Flagstaff, but it didn't slow us down much. The trip took about 7 hours, counting three stops to stretch, eat, refill the ice pack between my legs,, and fuel up. As soon as we got to the room I dilated, and I didn't have any issues. We are eating at IHOP then making a run to Target -- I need to replace my favorite fleece lined leggings. They are showing signs of wear.

I will watch the weather closely before heading north tomorrow. We will wait an extra day here if the road conditions are poor.

Jessica and Susan,

  I am glad to see you both doing well and on your way home at last. Do be careful and do not tire yourself out in the process. My hat is off to Susan as I am sure she has been a real trooper in helping you whenever she can. It is probably a wonder she hasn't walloped you at least once in the adventure.
  Hey I have an idea..... instead of chancing the snow, you could head west to Michelle's and wait for the snow to melt. I am sure she would love that company. I happen to know she has frozen cookie dough balls in the freezer just waiting for someone to cook them for to arrive. ( You might want to clear it with her first though)

Hugs,
  Laurie

I will make a longer post later, but for now just wanted to say that we made it home safely. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I am dead tired.

Great news that you made it home!  There's a lot of snow up here where I am, and snowing actively again.  It's great to get that trip behind you, and now you have home sweet home to comfort you (along with Susan).

Welcome home!  And in so many ways, You Have Arrived.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 03, 2019, 04:42:23 PM
I will make a longer post later, but for now just wanted to say that we made it home safely. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I am dead tired.

Welcome back to Colorado.  It is probably a relief to be home.  Take care of yourself.

Julie

Welcome back home, sister Jessica. Stay warm, relax, and heal now.

Stephanie

Welcome home, Jessica and Susan!  Now, rest and recover.  Both of you!

With love and hugs,
Michelle_P and Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on March 02, 2019, 11:38:12 PM
Jessica and Susan,

  I am glad to see you both doing well and on your way home at last. Do be careful and do not tire yourself out in the process. My hat is off to Susan as I am sure she has been a real trooper in helping you whenever she can. It is probably a wonder she hasn't walloped you at least once in the adventure.
  Hey I have an idea..... instead of chancing the snow, you could head west to Michelle's and wait for the snow to melt. I am sure she would love that company. I happen to know she has frozen cookie dough balls in the freezer just waiting for someone to cook them for to arrive. ( You might want to clear it with her first though)

Hugs,
  Laurie

Thanks Laurie. Susan was simply amazing during the entire time we were in Scottsdale. She was probably my biggest critic when I started, but now she is my staunchest ally. I could not have done this without her love and support.

I did consider the offer to visit @Michelle_P for those frozen cookie dough balls. Alas, we just wanted to get home so I could continue recovery.

First, I want to thank everyone for their support during my GCS experience. Your notes, no matter how brief, helped divert my attention from the near constant discomfort caused by surgery.

I did not sleep well last night. After dilating at around 11:00pm and taking a shower, I woke up at 2:30am and could not get back to sleep. At best I napped for another hour or so before getting out of bed at 5:30am. While I was subjecting myself to my first dilation of the day, Susan went to check on the breakfast offered by the hotel. Once I finished my session, I asked Susan about the breakfast:

Susan: They have scrambled eggs, bacon, and waffles. I picked up a banana.
Me: A banana? Is that a fruedian reference? Now you are just picking on me!
Susan (laughing): No I'm not!

The banana reference came up several more times during the drive. At one time I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull over! I had made a comment about Susan picking up random bananas at every hotel we visit...

Anyway, after breakfast and another dilation session, we departed the hotel around 9:30am. Even though the local temperature was 58 degrees I was wearing my parka -- I knew what was in front of us. Our first stop was in Las Vegas, NM for gas and some sandwiches. Although only about 120 miles north of Albuquerque, the temperature was now 17 degrees with light snow and heavy fog. By the time we hit the Colorado state line a few hours later it was 12 degrees, the highest temperature we saw in Colorado today. There was light snow most of the afternoon, but the roads were clear until about a half mile from home. Our friends had cleared the driveway of several inches of snow, and our furry kids were happy we were home.

Trying to keep on schedule, as soon as we got home I dilated while Susan unloaded the car -- she told me that she would take care of it. She is trying to make sure that everything we have gone through is not ruined by me trying to do something that my body is not yet ready for. To compensate, I cooked supper. I also mentioned something about grocery shopping tomorrow... we need to put bananas on the list!

I am happy to read that you two made it home safely.

Unfortunately the ride home was a bit too hard on the perineal stitches, based on the evidence I think they pulled apart during the first leg of our trip yesterday. I noticed a little more blood than usual when we stopped in Las Vegas, NM. I now have an open wound about 1.5 inches long and a half inch wide at the lower edge of my vagina. Apparently this is not an uncommon issue, the skin in that area is very thin. I contacted @jill610 about it last night, because she had posted about a similar issue (I also sent a note to the Meltzer Clinic). The standard care for something like this is to simply keep it clean and apply bacitracin one or more times a day. I plan to keep stress off the area by not sitting whenever possible, and by going 'commando' around the house -- wearing a nightdress without undies (I have no bleeding issues). Hopefully that will help it heal more quickly.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 04, 2019, 09:15:20 AM
Unfortunately the ride home was a bit too hard on the perineal stitches, based on the evidence I think they pulled apart during the first leg of our trip yesterday. I noticed a little more blood than usual when we stopped in Las Vegas, NM. I now have an open wound about 1.5 inches long and a half inch wide at the lower edge of my vagina. Apparently this is not an uncommon issue, the skin in that area is very thin. I contacted @jill610 about it last night, because she had posted about a similar issue (I also sent a note to the Meltzer Clinic). The standard care for something like this is to simply keep it clean and apply bacitracin one or more times a day. I plan to keep stress off the area by not sitting whenever possible, and by going 'commando' around the house -- wearing a nightdress without undies (I have no bleeding issues). Hopefully that will help it heal more quickly.

Oh my Jessica, I hope all will be well!

Hugs 🤗

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 04, 2019, 09:15:20 AM
Unfortunately the ride home was a bit too hard on the perineal stitches, based on the evidence I think they pulled apart during the first leg of our trip yesterday. I noticed a little more blood than usual when we stopped in Las Vegas, NM. I now have an open wound about 1.5 inches long and a half inch wide at the lower edge of my vagina. Apparently this is not an uncommon issue, the skin in that area is very thin. I contacted @jill610 about it last night, because she had posted about a similar issue (I also sent a note to the Meltzer Clinic). The standard care for something like this is to simply keep it clean and apply bacitracin one or more times a day. I plan to keep stress off the area by not sitting whenever possible, and by going 'commando' around the house -- wearing a nightdress without undies (I have no bleeding issues). Hopefully that will help it heal more quickly.

Good luck and to set expectations... this happened to me over a month ago and just recently started closing and has a long way to go. Yours sounds a bit bigger than mine but not by much.

Sharing this for the public good :)

Moral of the story, don't [emoji90]

Also I would not go without pads... I randomly opened and had significant bleeding for weeks.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190304/d8278ff5c23de173b7cade98122c5cbc.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190304/04b9e34082b99a9356adf1ec2d750331.jpg)

Well my issue was not constipation, apparently it was a rough ride on I-25N through New Mexico!

I received a little more not-so-good news today. Although my leave of absence from work was approved through 8 April, my short-term disability was only approved through 20 March (grrrr)! I can stay home through 8 April, but I would either go unpaid or need to use vacation time. I guess I will need a note from Dr. Ley to allow me to go back to work beginning 21 March. I have asked my manager to allow me to work from home from 21 through 28 March, which will get me through the four-a-day dilations. He has been awesome through all of this, and I don't expect he will have any issues with my request.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 04, 2019, 07:32:32 PM
Well my issue was not constipation, apparently it was a rough ride on I-25N through New Mexico!

I received a little more not-so-good news today. Although my leave of absence from work was approved through 8 April, my short-term disability was only approved through 20 March (grrrr)! I can stay home through 8 April, but I would either go unpaid or need to use vacation time. I guess I will need a note from Dr. Ley to allow me to go back to work beginning 21 March. I have asked my manager to allow me to work from home from 21 through 28 March, which will get me through the four-a-day dilations. He has been awesome through all of this, and I don't expect he will have any issues with my request.

Work, it gets in the way so much.   :P  Glad you have a supportive manager.

Sorry to hear about the torn stitches.  Thanks for keeping us up-to-date. Take care of yourself.

Julie

Glad your home safe. Welcome home ladies!!!

Hugs.

As expected, my manager is fine with me working from home as long as I need to. There is a chance my short-term disability will be extended, but I won't plan on it.

Yesterday morning I sent a few new photos in to the Meltzer Clinic. Sometimes my labia become very painful, and I had noticed what appeared to be a huge blister on each of them. Despite how bad it looked, Dr. Ley and the nurse said they had no concerns -- it was just normal swelling. Back to ice packs for a while.

Things I forgot to mention...

After checking in to the surgical center a nurse took me back to a staging room, where I disrobed and put on a lovely hospital gown. Next I was taken to the pre-op staging area and got on a gurney. Another nurse came in and made sure which surgeries I was there for, then she tried to insert an IV line. Left arm inside elbow, no luck. Right forearm, no luck. Right arm inside elbow, success! She hooked me up to a few monitors and got my vitals, then Susan came in. We talked for a bit, and we held each other hands. After 10 or 15 minutes the anesthesiologist arrived and asked me a few questions. They asked for my glasses. Then he said something about 'better living through pharmaceuticals', and the next thing I remember was waking up in the post-op recovery room.

I was extremely uncomfortable, mainly from the painfully tight ace bandage around my breasts. I also felt as though I really needed to pee, which I thought was odd because I knew I had a catheter. I could see a clock in the room, without my glasses I squinted to see the time - 2:24pm. I remember being in that room for about 20 minutes, then suddenly the next thing I remember was waking up in my private recovery room.

Instead of those really tight socks they usually make you wear they were using something I had not seen before. Basically I was wearing a pair of inflatable 'boots' which alternately put pressure on one calf, then the other. I kept the button for the 'pain pump' handy and pressed it with regularity. The ace bandage around my breasts stayed for a day or two, and it was quite a relief when they removed it! I could also feel a burning sensation on either side of my genitals, there were two surgical drains. They did not use any drains for my breast augmentation.

That first afternoon after surgery I was hungry, but the pain medication made me nauseous. I was amazed to be asked what I wanted for supper! I was barely coherent and agreed to anything they suggested - apple juice, chicken soup, and a turkey sandwich. I mentioned the nausea, and the nurses quickly resolved that issue. Once the nausea cleared, I ate the sandwich. I was down to around 160 pounds the morning of surgery (my normal is about 165 pounds), but I gained about 12 pounds during my stay (including about 2 pounds for the implants).

The day after surgery is bed rest. The second day after surgery they want you to get up and move to a chair. Just standing up without blacking out was a difficult task, I lost count of how many attempts I made. It is amazing how much strength recovery from this surgery requires.

I have a 'cactoris'. My new clitoris is extremely sensitive. I don't understand how my 'new' parts can be even more sensitive than my old parts, but it is true. It is currently ringed by about a dozen sutures which protrude above the surrounding area like cactus thorns, and it is topped off by another protruding suture dead center. It looks like a tiny cactus right now, so I have a 'cactoris'.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 08, 2019, 11:44:14 AM
Things I forgot to mention...
.
'
I have a 'cactoris'. My new clitoris is extremely sensitive. I don't understand how my 'new' parts can be even more sensitive than my old parts, but it is true. It is currently ringed by about a dozen sutures which protrude above the surrounding area like cactus thorns, and it is topped off by another protruding suture dead center. It looks like a tiny cactus right now, so I have a 'cactoris'.

Hi Jessica,                            08 March 2019

Do you think just maybe they don't want it played with?

Glad you are recovering well and have a great sense of humor. Have been enjoying your posts.

Best Always, Love
Christine

First, I want to thank everyone for their support through my surgery and recovery. I probably won't make too many more posts in this thread. Although my recovery will continue for several more weeks, the goal of this thread has been met. I will create a new thread for the GCS Stage II (labiaplasty) and FFS (brow reduction) scheduled for 26 July, until my preparations for that surgery begin I will be posting in my 'Rose Garden' thread.

Last Thursday I moved up to dilator #2. It was very snug at first, but starting off with a tapered #2 really helped. I may have lost a tiny bit of depth, but the dilator bottoms out at just over 6 inches so I am happy. The bruises continue to fade -- the horrendous bruise on my left side is gone. The only remaining bruises are on the inside of my left elbow, my upper left thigh, and at the top of each labia. My labia still feel very raw, using ice packs whenever I can seems to reduce the swelling. Driving is more comfortable now, but any trips over an hour or so would be tough.

My breast implants are still on the move. Dr. Ley hoped they would drop enough for me to begin wearing a bra about six weeks after surgery. I was wearing a 36B prior to surgery, but those were very tight -- I probably should have been wearing a 38A. From what I can tell I think I will soon be wearing a 38C. I have full sensitivity on my right breast, but the inside half of my left breast is still numb. I am not concerned yet, I know it may take several months for the feeling to return. My left nipple also seems to be off center, but this may resolve itself as healing continues. Despite these minor issues, they look great!

I have an appointment with my HRT doctor next week. Last she knew my surgery was scheduled for 5 April, so she is in for a surprise! I have already had three electrolysis sessions since surgery in order to catch up on my face, neck, and upper chest. My next appointment is Tuesday, we plan to work on my cleavage -- having cleavage with long dark hair is not very sexy! I will also need more work down below, but that can wait another month or so.

These last few weeks have been some of the most difficult days of my life. Despite all the research I did, I was overwhelmed by the reality of GCS. It was much more painful than I expected, both physically and mentally. Knowing what I know now, would I still do it? Yes, without hesitation. Finally becoming who I was meant to be was worth any price, now MY life can begin.

Good to hear you are doing fine overall.  Dilating will continue to a new experience as you increase the dilator size.  You probably have a lot a swelling in your boobs still so you will be changing a lot in the next months and your bra size will be changing so don't buy very many new bras now. How bad is the hair in your cleavage? You want to be rid of it so you will have nice cleavage.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 03, 2019, 09:03:51 PM
First, I want to thank everyone for their support during my GCS experience. Your notes, no matter how brief, helped divert my attention from the near constant discomfort caused by surgery.

I did not sleep well last night. After dilating at around 11:00pm and taking a shower, I woke up at 2:30am and could not get back to sleep. At best I napped for another hour or so before getting out of bed at 5:30am. While I was subjecting myself to my first dilation of the day, Susan went to check on the breakfast offered by the hotel. Once I finished my session, I asked Susan about the breakfast:

Susan: They have scrambled eggs, bacon, and waffles. I picked up a banana.
Me: A banana? Is that a fruedian reference? Now you are just picking on me!
Susan (laughing): No I'm not!

The banana reference came up several more times during the drive. At one time I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull over! I had made a comment about Susan picking up random bananas at every hotel we visit...

Anyway, after breakfast and another dilation session, we departed the hotel around 9:30am. Even though the local temperature was 58 degrees I was wearing my parka -- I knew what was in front of us. Our first stop was in Las Vegas, NM for gas and some sandwiches. Although only about 120 miles north of Albuquerque, the temperature was now 17 degrees with light snow and heavy fog. By the time we hit the Colorado state line a few hours later it was 12 degrees, the highest temperature we saw in Colorado today. There was light snow most of the afternoon, but the roads were clear until about a half mile from home. Our friends had cleared the driveway of several inches of snow, and our furry kids were happy we were home.

Trying to keep on schedule, as soon as we got home I dilated while Susan unloaded the car -- she told me that she would take care of it. She is trying to make sure that everything we have gone through is not ruined by me trying to do something that my body is not yet ready for. To compensate, I cooked supper. I also mentioned something about grocery shopping tomorrow... we need to put bananas on the list!

You don't have to just use bananas. Hair brushes can be nice and subtle. Take a good look at the handles and you'll find interesting textures and some that can be ribbed for her pleasure.

Now that the teasing is done.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

I wish you a safe and speedy recovery. If you don't have one get one of the donut cushion things to sit on for a while. It will help take the pressure of the pelvic area.

@mm the hairy cleavage is unsightly. In the past I could easily keep it shaved, but now there is no way to maneuver an razor in there to keep it clean. Right now my options are weekly electrolysis and plucking. I bent the rules a bit this week and had my electrologist clean out the dark hairs (I'm not supposed to have electrolysis in that area until at least six weeks after surgery). It does look much better. Hopefully it will be in good shape by summer.

Thanks @NatalieRene ! I have been using a special cushion with a notch for that area, but I can't tell if it is doing any good. I used it on my drive back from Scottsdale and still lost quite a few stitches.