Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey everyone,

So I am doing overall very well and no longer depressed. My motivation to do things is on the rise. I want to begin swimming as part of my exercise plans. It is much easier on my knees, of which I am working on improving their health.

The problem is I am trying to figure out a few things. I weigh like 223 lb and 5'8". I'm pre-op. I'm not that comfortable with my body. I want to focus on body positivity and not mind it. But any advice for how to deal with...the male parts? Like in the water, changing rooms, etc. Also, plus sized swimsuits? I emailed the pool office about the changing rooms. Hoping they can provide some advice.

Quote from: findingreason on February 26, 2019, 10:49:01 AM
Hey everyone,

So I am doing overall very well and no longer depressed. My motivation to do things is on the rise. I want to begin swimming as part of my exercise plans. It is much easier on my knees, of which I am working on improving their health.

The problem is I am trying to figure out a few things. I weigh like 223 lb and 5'8". I'm pre-op. I'm not that comfortable with my body. I want to focus on body positivist and not mind it. But any advice for how to deal with...the male parts? Like in the water, changing rooms, etc. Also, plus sized swimsuits? I emailed the pool office about the changing rooms. Hoping they can provide some advice.

@findingreason
As long as you still have male parts that can not be easily tucked, a two-piece swimsuit with tunic top and/or coverup will help.   
Regarding changing rooms, initially wear your swim suit under your clothing and if you had to you can drive home with it on... sitting on a towel perhaps. 

It is unusual but the swimming pool or gym may have private family unisex restrooms that can be utilized as a changing room.   
Regarding women's rest rooms and men's restrooms... as long as your are trying to present as a female and wearing female clothing and swimsuits, I would advise your to not make an issue of it with the pool office, just go into the women's room, go into a stall and do your business (sitting down) and when done quickly wash up and leave.

Best wishes to you,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 26, 2019, 12:35:53 PMI would advise you to not make an issue of it

       Always followed the policy if ya gotta ask the answer is probably "what?/NO""! Local Y has family changing rooms so never faced locker room problems (have grandbaby in tow) but do go "topless" with "B" cup breasts instead! Would love to wear a *one-piece tank* but ya gotta pick yer poison, decide what works best! We've had a pic ID family membership forever (with 'bout 8 other people) NEVER had someone say . . .
lol Am waiting for the day but meantime . . . I wear black, female cut (very thin & leggy ;) ) board shorts only who'd really dare say anything untoward . . .?

'Tis true I nominally present "male" but could probably get away with 'a tank' if not so cowardly!

ps edit: ok pre-op girls have you seen this: search "camel toe prosthetic"lol Also think it's too funny Amazon has this new "trend" exactly wackbards!

If I had a hankering to use a gym again while still pre-op, I would check for a private changing room before trying it.  Or I would do what I used to do last time I had a gym membership: change at home and drive in my gym clothes.  I was still closeted at the time, but it was just more convenient. 

Post-op, there would be no issue.

Swimming pool, though, I'm not even going to go near while pre-op.  Nope, nope, nopity-nope!  I'll think about swimsuits after my GRS.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 26, 2019, 12:35:53 PM
@findingreason
As long as you still have male parts that can not be easily tucked, a two-piece swimsuit with tunic top and/or coverup will help.   
Regarding changing rooms, initially wear your swim suit under your clothing and if you had to you can drive home with it on... sitting on a towel perhaps. 

It is unusual but the swimming pool or gym may have private family unisex restrooms that can be utilized as a changing room.   
Regarding women's rest rooms and men's restrooms... as long as your are trying to present as a female and wearing female clothing and swimsuits, I would advise your to not make an issue of it with the pool office, just go into the women's room, go into a stall and do your business (sitting down) and when done quickly wash up and leave.

Best wishes to you,
Danielle

Oh, I'm already quite comfortable in women's restrooms; been presenting as female for almost 4 years full time. Legally changed gender marker and name too. I will definitely consider the suggestions you had for swimwear. :) Thanks to atrophy my male parts are pretty easily tucked. Just need to make sure they can reliably be done involving water.

Thank you!

Quote from: KathyLauren on February 26, 2019, 03:15:24 PM
If I had a hankering to use a gym again while still pre-op, I would check for a private changing room before trying it.  Or I would do what I used to do last time I had a gym membership: change at home and drive in my gym clothes.  I was still closeted at the time, but it was just more convenient. 

Post-op, there would be no issue.

Swimming pool, though, I'm not even going to go near while pre-op.  Nope, nope, nopity-nope!  I'll think about swimsuits after my GRS.

For the longest time, I had problems against swimming too for pre-op reasons. Add in my fear of water too. But I'm wanting to try and tuck reliably to do this. Because my knees need some sort of exercise that is low impact and build up tone to help them, water activities can be helpful. So I am pushing past my fears. Plus I need to get into shape and lose a fair bit of weight...But thank you :)

I think about this from time to time.  I have not been swimming since 2016 and I miss it even though it was usually only 3 to 5 times per year.  My physical situation is I had an orchiectomy so the need to tuck is reduced but not gone.  My remaining 'part' is still enough to cause a bit of a bulge.  Plus my breasts are small and my body is big. 

The suggestion someone made to me is something called a 'tankini'  Kind of a two piece deal but the bottom is like a small skirt.  I have looked at a few online.  Maybe an option for this coming summer. 

My body dysphoria is the last battle I still struggle with.

Quote from: KimOct on February 26, 2019, 06:42:17 PM
I think about this from time to time.  I have not been swimming since 2016 and I miss it even though it was usually only 3 to 5 times per year.  My physical situation is I had an orchiectomy so the need to tuck is reduced but not gone.  My remaining 'part' is still enough to cause a bit of a bulge.  Plus my breasts are small and my body is big. 

The suggestion someone made to me is something called a 'tankini'  Kind of a two piece deal but the bottom is like a small skirt.  I have looked at a few online.  Maybe an option for this coming summer. 

My body dysphoria is the last battle I still struggle with.

I bought a one piece deal with an attached skirt type hing at Costco.  It seems to be OK for a little bigger bodies (mine is XL), but I still feel that I can hide well between the manatees around here, looks wise (or I could mimic a beached wale)

Another bottom option is a skort (shorts with a skirt built in). A short one will pair with your choice of top. Get a light fabric and it will work fine swimming. I use those when hiking or running sometimes.

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I wore a 2 piece suit last summer at the lake. I have been full time for almost a year now. I had a pair of slightly smaller panties on under my bikini bottom to hold everything in place. It worked as planned and nobody could tell.

I purchased a two pieces from Walmart.  They have both pieces as a separate purchase and as a full set in my local stores.  I opted to go with a bottom that had an attached skirt.  It provided enough coverage that no one noticed.  I did receive some stares and interrupted a couple men who were talking about being able to tell the difference between trans and cis women.  They couldn't tell the difference and I don't feel I'm totally passable yet.  In the changing room, a couple of the younger girls stared as I went to a changing stall.  None of the adults seemed to notice or care.
I would definitely make sure they have individual changing areas before going. 

Quote from: Artesia on March 01, 2019, 09:28:17 AM
I purchased a two pieces from Walmart.  They have both pieces as a separate purchase and as a full set in my local stores.  I opted to go with a bottom that had an attached skirt.  It provided enough coverage that no one noticed.  I did receive some stares and interrupted a couple men who were talking about being able to tell the difference between trans and cis women.  They couldn't tell the difference and I don't feel I'm totally passable yet.  In the changing room, a couple of the younger girls stared as I went to a changing stall.  None of the adults seemed to notice or care.
I would definitely make sure they have individual changing areas before going.

@Artesia
Dear Artesia:
I am so happy to read that you found some swimwear that will work for you.

Regarding the changing rooms in various stores, BEFORE I was convincingly passable and came out full-time I found that stores in my area such as JC Pennys, Macy's and Kohl's and even Goodwill did not have specific men's and women's changing rooms and that they were not closely monitored by a clerk so either sex could walk right into the changing area and then into a stall.   
However, in stores like Ross's they have a clerk that looks at you and also at what you want to try on and then directs you to the men's or the women's area of the changing rooms, in Walmart the changing rooms are closely monitored by the clerks so it can be a bit more of a challenge for early transitioners....  I have been in those stores in other cities and what I stated above may not apply to the same stores in other locations. 

Be brave, be strong and continue on!!!
Thank you for sharing,
Hugs,
Danielle

My oh my, this is something I definitely will need to ponder.  My breasts have developed to a point (lol) that I absolutely need to cover them while swimming (okay always, not just swimming).  I have a few swim shirts and feminine cut swim shorts that will do the trick, but the looser shirts may float up exposing the girls.  So tighter rash guards are in order.  But I feel I may need to opt for a more traditional women's swimsuit........unless I'm skinny dipping! 

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 01, 2019, 09:44:38 AM
@Artesia
Dear Artesia:
I am so happy to read that you found some swimwear that will work for you.

Regarding the changing rooms in various stores, BEFORE I was convincingly passable and came out full-time I found that stores in my area such as JC Pennys, Macy's and Kohl's and even Goodwill did not have specific men's and women's changing rooms and that they were not closely monitored by a clerk so either sex could walk right into the changing area and then into a stall.   
However, in stores like Ross's they have a clerk that looks at you and also at what you want to try on and then directs you to the men's or the women's area of the changing rooms, in Walmart the changing rooms are closely monitored by the clerks so it can be a bit more of a challenge for early transitioners....  I have been in those stores in other cities and what I stated above may not apply to the same stores in other locations. 

Be brave, be strong and continue on!!!
Thank you for sharing,
Hugs,
Danielle

i had the changing room attendant experience relatively early in my transition.  she wanted me to go to the guys side, and i said no.  She said, "but.." and I asked her if she wants to check for my private parts.  She did not say a word , and allowed me to go to the ladies side.
I have to mention that I am rather assertive, and don't take Cr****

The world includes wonderfully diverse peoples and women of all shapes and sizes go swimming.  I wear a one piece or a two piece that has a kind of miniskirt or skort bottoms.  I think Danielle's advice is spot on.

It is with growing confidence during transition that we might claim our place in the public world and go swimming like anyone else.

Quote from: KathyLauren on February 26, 2019, 03:15:24 PM
If I had a hankering to use a gym again while still pre-op, I would check for a private changing room before trying it.  Or I would do what I used to do last time I had a gym membership: change at home and drive in my gym clothes.  I was still closeted at the time, but it was just more convenient. 

Post-op, there would be no issue.

I am with you there - i'm pre-op (on the surgeons waiting list , so hopefully not long to wait now) - I play badminton at my local sports centre (2 evenings a week) . I usually change (and shower) at home , before and after. And on only one or two occasions have changed in the ladies loo (in one of the stalls) - i've never even set foot in the ladies changing room , to see if it's communal or has private changing.

Quote from: KathyLauren on February 26, 2019, 03:15:24 PMSwimming pool, though, I'm not even going to go near while pre-op.  Nope, nope, nopity-nope!  I'll think about swimsuits after my GRS.

+1 , I couldn't agree more.

I'm pre-op and have a swim suit with an attached skirt for some extra modesty, not had any issues down at my local pool [emoji846].

The ladies shower is open plan,  I did used it (in my costume) up until a time a lady stripped naked when I was in there, I felt very awkward (not about her, but that I felt unable),  and have showered at home ever since. The good news is they are installing shower cubicles later this year.

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I have a swimsuit, with an attached micro skirt. I don't know if this would be necessary to hide anything.  Now that I had my orchi, the only little bit that is left down there is a very atrophied penis that should not be difficult to hide. 
I just feel it is nicer to cover the lower section of my torso a little better, because I am not a teenager anymore, and some of the skin is not as tight anymore the way it used to be.

Oh boy swimsuits!  You should check out Zulily for deals on swimsuits for a curvy gal.  They change merchandise every day and what is up only stays up for three days or so before it rotates out, so get the app and check there every day.

You do not necessarily need a skirted suit if you are on the, ahem, smaller side or have been on HRT for six months or longer.  Look for bottoms that are wide in the crotch, thick in the fabric and either prints or dark fabrics.

Doing a tuck and tape is not too difficult but make sure you can last an hour or two before you need the restroom because redoing things outside the comfort of your own bathroom can be pretty tough.

After six months on hormones I could tuck into a wide, thick bikini bottom without tape and not raise any eyebrows.

One last thing—at 5'7" I'm too long in the torso for a lot of one piece swimsuits.  So get a tailor's tape and learn your torso measurement or stick with tankinis until you know your fit issues with one piece suits.

Hi,

I understand your apprehension going into a woman's only domain. During transition there were some looks but that was all. Now I really do not notice much but an occasional look.

Pre-op I was at a LGBT gym and used a private changing room. I e-mailed the owner and we meet and he showed me five options. Post op in the same gym I used the woman's locker room. I was still in transition and did not pass. I had two rounds of hair transplants and that eventually helped to pass in time. I think I pass 90% of the time now.

I am post op a few years and go to a cis gender heterosexual gym by my house. I use the woman's locker room and sauna. I love to spin and use the main weight room (they have a woman's gym too). I do see some guys looking at me. I wear typical attire, tights and a fitted top.

Last summer I purchased a one piece swim suit from Long Tall Sally. I went to the beach, although only one time. Going to the bathroom in a very large and crowded woman's rest room off of the beach was an experience.  You need to add 20 minutes to the event and clean the seat. This summer I will go to the beach as much as possible.

I think the worse part for me was not allowing myself to be me and express who I am freely. I do not know if I pass and if someone said I did I would not believe them. I think that is the most difficult part, questioning if I belong. I do know that as time goes by I think about it much less often and mostly when I enter woman only spaces. I just do it and the more often the less it I think about it.

Since the topic segued into locker rooms - I use the women's locker room at work - a large casino.  There is usually not much undressing going on in there most people wear their uniform to work but today I walked in and someone was changing their top. 

Nothing I hadn't seen before obviously but it was still kind of weird - our eyes met for a brief second and I quickly looked away.  I have been using women's restrooms for 3 years and this particular locker room for one year.

I have zero issue with restrooms but when I see someone in the locker in even just a minor stage of undress I still feel uncomfortable.

Thank you so much everyone for your replies! That means a lot to me. :) I will read through them again and decide on the best path forward to start going to the pool in the coming weeks. I will post an update too when I start going regularly. :)

I have used the family changing room or changed at home which involves slipping into a pair of yoga pants in a damp swimsuit before getting in the car after a swim. Even if tucking is a challenge it won't be noticed if you are swimming laps. Just figure out a plan to get yourself in and out of the water quickly. Once we are in the water we all look like aliens in our swim caps goggles anyway :-) In my early days I was so nervous but now I'm just another woman getting her exercise :-)

As for swimwear, you should check out swimoutlet.com. They have a great selection including styles with swim skirts.

Sarah

I wear a two piece bikini but the bottoms are used to tuck and keep everything in place and then I wear boarding shorts over them. I don't know why I thought to do this but it's a super cute look and no one is ever the wiser. I like that pretty much no matter what I do, those board shorts aren't coming off. It lets me relax and engage in every kind of water activity. 

Just a note on Walmart, they only have a single set of changing rooms for all sexes as far as I've noticed. The attendant is just there to count the number of items you go in with, and make sure you come out with the same count. Once she pointed out the jeans I was trying and asked, "Did you want the men's?" but she was fine when I said no these are what I want.

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Quote from: Sabrina Rei on March 16, 2019, 09:33:04 AM
I wear a two piece bikini but the bottoms are used to tuck and keep everything in place and then I wear boarding shorts over them. I don't know why I thought to do this but it's a super cute look and no one is ever the wiser. I like that pretty much no matter what I do, those board shorts aren't coming off. It lets me relax and engage in every kind of water activity.

My cis wife also wears board shorts sometimes.

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