Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How does everyone else deal with the inability to carry our own children? I find this part of my life pretty hard to reconcile with.  I am left feeling I am less of a woman simply because I don't have all the female parts inside.  :'(

Lisa

This is something that didn't bother me until recently. All my life, before I knew about myself, the last thing I wanted was children. After an extended period of intense loneliness, I got a cat. I had never had a cat before – my family had always had dogs – but I chose a cat because she would be relatively low maintenance. Children? OMG, no.

This attitude stayed the same after my egg cracked and for a year after I had gone full-time. Then I noticed that something had changed. I was watching mothers in the mall with their small children, and feeling wistful, even jealous. After a few days of this, I was suddenly struck with the painful realization that I wanted to bear children of my own, and I couldn't. Never in my dreams did I expect my attitude to change like that. The woman I am was buried very, very deeply.

This bothered me a lot for a week or two. Fortunately, my job and other responsibilities keep my mind busy and occupied. I try not to think about it.

This isn't a trans problem, specifically. There are many cis women who are unable to bear children. It's not easy for them, either. So, I wouldn't blame this on being trans, or think it makes you any less of a woman. Being able to have kids isn't a given for any woman, until she does. It's a privilege, a gift, not an automatic thing for anyone.

I think I have the parts, they are just not in working order!  This is fine with me, because the idea of bearing children is not very appealing to me.
I hope I am to old that my parts could start to work all of a sudden!

I told the Mom within to stay cool as I was at the Lamaze classes with all the beautiful expecting mothers. I did not receive the right equipment when I came into this world, not my doing I accept this. If I had the right equipment, I would have had to deal with periods. There was a time when I was very envious of expectant mothers.

Having been a parent of 28 + years, I can say it's a very long commitment and very gratifying. I've done it all diapers to college and beyond.

If you really want to experience being a Mom, you could always adopt, or enter into a relationship that comes with children. There are many options.

Best to you

Cynthia

There are many, many beautiful children looking for a forever home.  I'm sure that you would find that you can fulfill your child-rearing need with a wonderful, adopted child hoping for a parent to love them and give them a loving upbringing.

Good luck...to you and to your future child.  :)

Ryuichi

Quote from: CynthiaAnn on April 21, 2019, 09:50:08 PM. . . you could always adopt, or enter into a relationship that comes with children. There are many options.

Quote from: Lisa89125 on April 21, 2019, 03:08:27 PMI am left feeling I am less of a woman simply because I don't have all the female parts inside.  :'(

        Lisa it's one thing to bear a child, not really a pleasant task btw, and quite another to be a parent. My "option" included a marriage from 'ell, which I am only now getting over . . . Currently have 3 grandbabies, ranging 5 months to almost 4, and while the greatest gift in the world (I'm their "favorite!) obviously kids are not for everybody, you really need your priorities screwed on straight. Unfortunate for children many women get pregnant without ever making that conscious choice.
         Point is I delayed my full transition, to bring a new part of myself into this world, and while I consider myself to be "living the dream" of a full woman without actually "walking the walk" I find myself, like @Ann W, lacking in that other half of the equation which is "companionship" to share it all with!
        If you already have a relationship with someone "special" consider yourself blessed 'cause, for us, it's tough enough already! To cap it off they're not my babies (had two my own) so once again my transition is in limbo I'm thinking another woman, who doesn't "want" her own, might be best after all?

Don't forget, it always takes two to tango, IDK find another woman, or man, who "has" and make theirs your own?

I've considered all of the options. But the simple fact I will never know what it's like to have periods or go through hell to deliver a child into this world will always haunt me.

Two things I have dreamed about since I was a little kid, My wedding day and dress and having a daughter. Sux we didn't get the say in the form we would assume in the physical world.

Lisa

Quote from: Lisa89125 on April 22, 2019, 10:07:24 PM
I've considered all of the options. But the simple fact I will never know what it's like to have periods or
Lisa

Almost all the cis women I know wish they would not have to deal with periods!  When I had my menopause, it was something that was not pleasant either!  I am glad that I do not seem to  have enough female stuff inside of me that I would have had a period!
Menopause was enough for me, thank you very much!

Quote from: Lisa89125 on April 22, 2019, 10:07:24 PMwedding day and dress and having a daughter. Sux we didn't get the say in the form we would assume in the physical world.

duh Yes we do "get a say" but as far as making copies of ourselves . . .

NOBODY has a say in THAT! "Your a girl dragon!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D2fHnFjl04

Hmm, I don't remember being asked which body I would prefer to have?

Dealing with both periods and labor pains are just rights of passage. I want to experience it all.

Lisa