Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am almost 8 months into hrt and I am a mtf. I have good days and then bad days with being misgendered. But, ever since I got a more feminine haircut  I have been getting misgendered more. Strange thing is if I put hair in a pony tall it seems when people see my face they dont say anything or gender me correctly. This is just a strange stage.

Like the other day when I was swim suit shopping at Target. I had a woman tell me I am awesome and she loved me. I said thanks, but I was confused because she said it again. So, I said thanks for the encouragement and she left all happy like. I guess it was positive ???, but my anxitey is killing me.

Anythoughts or advice?

I think it's great that that woman told you you're awesome and that she loved you. It just goes to show you that we're becoming a lot more accepted socially.

As for the hair and being misgendered I have no idea. Sadly there is zero chance that I'll ever be able to pass. Well unless I win the lottery and can have a perfect FFS that is. I haven't even been able to start HRT yet so I have no idea if that will help my looks at all. Sadly I expect to be misgendered 100% of the time.

It sounds like you need to wear your hair up in a ponytail more if that helps with correct gendering though. I guess most people see ponytails as a hairstyle that only women wear. They're usually really cute so that helps also. I'm in the process now of growing my hair out. If I pull it back I can only make a ponytail that's about 2 inches long. I sure wish it would grow faster. lol

Good luck to you no matter how you wear your hair.  :)

Lexxi

@Coffeedrew
Very interesting and strange encounter you had with that woman....  I guess your answer might depend on whether or not how you think that she gendered you.   Was she complimenting and flirting with a woman or was she complimenting and flirting with a man? ??? 

The statement that she made that she loved you certainly is flirtatious and perhaps wonderful to hear but to hear that after she just met you sounds a little strange and premature as I am sure that you might feel that as well.

I agree with you, I guess it was positive but for sure your anxiety and curiosity... and perhaps confusion is killing you.

Please keep us all up to date regarding any other strange and confusing encounters....

Thank you for sharing and posting.
Best Wishes to you.
Danielle

Pulling you hair back will make your face appear harsher. Draping the hair around you face or having a short full haircut like a perm will soften your face. In my case, I can't wear my hair long because the long hair draws my face out. A shorter hair cut rounds my face. I currently have a wedge cut which gives me the fullness without the perm and it seems to work pretty well.

If you have to wear a pony tail, don't pull the hair tight. Put the tie a few inches back and let the hair partially cover your face. This will give you the appearance of more hair while keeping it under control.

Now that I've grown out my hair past my collarbone I think I know what is going on. If  you are observant you can see where people look.  Though if they see me looking that makes me more approachable.  At my size I'm not scary.

Your hair draws attention to your face.  When people decide gender whatever they look at first or are looking at now has a big factor in the decision.  If  you pay cash they will look at your hands, not your face. 

How you dress can either emphasize or hide  your figure.  If  you are top heavy with no hips that says male, while a small hourglass says female.  But, the eye is easily fooled why the judicious choice of clothes.

Quote from: Coffeedrew on May 22, 2019, 10:24:48 PM
I am almost 8 months into hrt and I am a mtf. I have good days and then bad days with being misgendered. But, ever since I got a more feminine haircut  I have been getting misgendered more. Strange thing is if I put hair in a pony tall it seems when people see my face they dont say anything or gender me correctly. This is just a strange stage.

Like the other day when I was swim suit shopping at Target. I had a woman tell me I am awesome and she loved me. I said thanks, but I was confused because she said it again. So, I said thanks for the encouragement and she left all happy like. I guess it was positive ???, but my anxitey is killing me.

Anythoughts or advice?

Ever since i started looking more masculine people feel the need to gender me more.
It's i think because my gender is not obvious and they have to think consciously about it.

So my guess is they don't know what gender you are at the moment.

When i buy stuff at a shop that only does mens clothes the shop assistant apparently just want me to be sure and project that. If im unsure they become uneasy.

Not many people are great at making succinct comments and we are a bit sensitive so there can be a level of confusion. I would just take it as a positive experience. I wear my hair in a low ponytail at work, but I went in today with it down and one of my co workers seemed to be stealing glances at me. I guess it makes a difference depending on your other attributes, but it doesn't hide my broad shoulders and narrow waist!

Allie

Thanks, I am glad to hear all of the great advice. I had a idea of maybe why that lady said something to me. I wonder if she was feeling self conscious while clothes shopping. Then she saw me and maybe that gave her confidence? Idk.

Also my hair is naturally wavy, and I wonder if using a hair straightener could make a difference?

Quote from: Coffeedrew on May 23, 2019, 08:20:55 AM
Thanks, I am glad to hear all of the great advice. I had a idea of maybe why that lady said something to me. I wonder if she was feeling self conscious while clothes shopping. Then she saw me and maybe that gave her confidence? Idk.

Also my hair is naturally wavy, and I wonder if using a hair straightener could make a difference?

And she is probably asking herself 'why did I say that?" The important thing is that it was positive! My hair is wavy too, but blow drying straightens it. I tend to have my hair straight in the cooler months when I dry it, and wavy in the warmer months.

Allie

Lots of GGs want their hair to  be different.  Straight if its wavy and vice versa.  ::)

I like mine the way it is.   ;D

I just hope I'm able to grow my hair out So I don't have to wear a wig. I don't mind wigs but I've only had cheap ones. And I seem to.lean more towards shorter styles like 14 in or less in length and or like a cut short bob cut.

But as for my natural hair I need to get on prescription hair treatments, and or get hair transplants.

I'm am curious how you wear your hair when it's down and more.feminine looking VA the pony tail, and why one has better reactions than the other. Maybe go and get your hair styled and say you want to most feminine look they can give you with what you have.

I have naturally wavy hair which is unusual for an East Asian.  Most would expect it to be stick straight so it looks like I did something to it!

Marion