Blogs => Member Blogs => Topic started by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 11:09:58 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 11:09:58 AM
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 11:09:58 AM
Hi everyone,
This is my new blog about my life as a 70 year old widow. Although I always wished I was a woman, I lived as a man until my sixties. I had a loving wife for 40 years until I lost her to cancer 3 years ago today. It was hard for her but she did learn to accept me as the women I always was. She even selected my new name of Ellen. God, do I miss her.
Ellen
This is my new blog about my life as a 70 year old widow. Although I always wished I was a woman, I lived as a man until my sixties. I had a loving wife for 40 years until I lost her to cancer 3 years ago today. It was hard for her but she did learn to accept me as the women I always was. She even selected my new name of Ellen. God, do I miss her.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 02:27:25 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 02:27:25 PM
Since unfortunately so much has been lost I thought I summarize parts of what was in my blog. In this post I will cover my timeline.
After graduating collage and starting my first job in 1976 I lived alone for a short time. During that time, I started looking in transitioning. I bought a number of dresses and other women's cloths and wigs. I tried going out (very unsuccessfully) and became very depressed. I reached as much as I could about the subject. But as we all know at that time it was not much on the subject and a lot of it was very negative. I gave up ever living as the woman I knew I was.
In 1979, I met the love of my life. I told her about my past and even showed her my clothes. We both honestly thought it was a phase and my feelings would change being married. For years it did, but what I now know as gender Dysphoria came back. For a long time, my GD was the 800-pound gorilla in the middle of our relationship. However, I loved her so much that I kept pushing my feelings and needs down for her sake and our marriage.
In 2007 I took a job working remotely. This allowed me a little room to experiment with my gender presentation. I started to let my hair grow and stopped wearing ties and other very masculine clothes.
In 2010 we purchased the cabin in Big Bear, and then my transition really took off. Although Diane was reluctant, she allowed me to start wearing feminine tops while in Big Bear. This felt very freeing to me. I loved it when someone addressed us as "ladies" FYI, Diane hated that. In Big Bear I was a woman and back at home I was the husband. We did the dance of ignoring the issue of my GD for years. Finally, I decided to see a therapist.
I started HRT in 2018 and transitioned at work. In January 2019 I legally changed my name to Ellen. All of this with Diane's approval. We decided together that I would have minimum depth surgrey. After scheduling my GCS for January 2021, her cancer came back and she died 3 weeks before my surgery. I was about to cancel it but one of her nieces said not to as she would want me to be happy.
In late 2021 I had BA and this past October I had revision surgery to create a vaginal canal.
Ellen
After graduating collage and starting my first job in 1976 I lived alone for a short time. During that time, I started looking in transitioning. I bought a number of dresses and other women's cloths and wigs. I tried going out (very unsuccessfully) and became very depressed. I reached as much as I could about the subject. But as we all know at that time it was not much on the subject and a lot of it was very negative. I gave up ever living as the woman I knew I was.
In 1979, I met the love of my life. I told her about my past and even showed her my clothes. We both honestly thought it was a phase and my feelings would change being married. For years it did, but what I now know as gender Dysphoria came back. For a long time, my GD was the 800-pound gorilla in the middle of our relationship. However, I loved her so much that I kept pushing my feelings and needs down for her sake and our marriage.
In 2007 I took a job working remotely. This allowed me a little room to experiment with my gender presentation. I started to let my hair grow and stopped wearing ties and other very masculine clothes.
In 2010 we purchased the cabin in Big Bear, and then my transition really took off. Although Diane was reluctant, she allowed me to start wearing feminine tops while in Big Bear. This felt very freeing to me. I loved it when someone addressed us as "ladies" FYI, Diane hated that. In Big Bear I was a woman and back at home I was the husband. We did the dance of ignoring the issue of my GD for years. Finally, I decided to see a therapist.
I started HRT in 2018 and transitioned at work. In January 2019 I legally changed my name to Ellen. All of this with Diane's approval. We decided together that I would have minimum depth surgrey. After scheduling my GCS for January 2021, her cancer came back and she died 3 weeks before my surgery. I was about to cancel it but one of her nieces said not to as she would want me to be happy.
In late 2021 I had BA and this past October I had revision surgery to create a vaginal canal.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: CaelaNotKayla on January 04, 2024, 02:55:41 PM
Post by: CaelaNotKayla on January 04, 2024, 02:55:41 PM
Quote from: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 11:09:58 AMHi everyone,
This is my new blog about my life as a 70 year old widow. Although I always wished I was a woman, I lived as a man until my sixties. I had a loving wife for 40 years until I lost her to cancer 3 years ago today. It was hard for her but she did learn to accept me as the women I always was. She even selected my new name of Ellen. God, do I miss her.
Ellen
Hugs Ellen!
As a widow myself I know that last feeling... Cancer sucks... I hope you are finding your new path as I have- never forgetting, but taking one day at a time one step at a time.
Hugs!!
Caela
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: D'Amalie on January 04, 2024, 04:14:16 PM
Post by: D'Amalie on January 04, 2024, 04:14:16 PM
I live in fear of losing my love. She's had 2 bouts with that infernal disease. The first in her mid 20's, and again in her 50's. The latest round of surgeries ended in August. The suppression meds continue.
I'm so glad you continued on with your journey! It ain't over yet, my dear.
I'm so glad you continued on with your journey! It ain't over yet, my dear.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Jessica_Rose on January 04, 2024, 06:54:46 PM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on January 04, 2024, 06:54:46 PM
Welcome back Ellen! I remember reading your story. I can't imagine the emotional turmoil you must have experienced. I hope you can find someone who brings you joy once again.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 08:52:42 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 04, 2024, 08:52:42 PM
Caela, D'Amalie and Jessica Rose
Thank you for your support.
Ellen
Thank you for your support.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 08, 2024, 11:10:49 AM
Post by: EllenW on January 08, 2024, 11:10:49 AM
I am unable to recover any parts of my old blog. So I thought I summarize some thoughts on my transition. I know that I am lucky in that I have not experienced hostility from family or other that knew me as <deadname>.
However, I do think some have just acknowledged my transition and not really accepted it and a few have embraced it. To me there is a big difference. To me acknowledging it is just the person being polite by not saying anything negative although they may not like it. I think my sisters fall into that category. They will not talk about it but do their best to use the correct pronoun (at times they slip and use he/him) but it is not done out malice but out of habit.
My neighbors and my co-workers accepted my transition without hesitation. Once they knew, they always use the correct pronouns. I do not recall any miss-gendering me or using my <deadname>. At work I was even invited to join the company's Woman's Network Support group. A number in that group knew me for years as <deadname> so being accepted into a woman's social group was very important to me.
I even have a few friends and relatives that have embraced my transition. They have helped take care of me when I was recovering from my surgeries. They offer suggestion on my appearance and watch out for me as I navigate the dating world as a single woman.
Ellen
However, I do think some have just acknowledged my transition and not really accepted it and a few have embraced it. To me there is a big difference. To me acknowledging it is just the person being polite by not saying anything negative although they may not like it. I think my sisters fall into that category. They will not talk about it but do their best to use the correct pronoun (at times they slip and use he/him) but it is not done out malice but out of habit.
My neighbors and my co-workers accepted my transition without hesitation. Once they knew, they always use the correct pronouns. I do not recall any miss-gendering me or using my <deadname>. At work I was even invited to join the company's Woman's Network Support group. A number in that group knew me for years as <deadname> so being accepted into a woman's social group was very important to me.
I even have a few friends and relatives that have embraced my transition. They have helped take care of me when I was recovering from my surgeries. They offer suggestion on my appearance and watch out for me as I navigate the dating world as a single woman.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 26, 2024, 10:04:16 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 26, 2024, 10:04:16 PM
In one of my last posts in my lost blog, I mentioned that my friend and travel buddy had a stroke. She is doing a lot better now and has regain some movement in her left leg.
However, it started me thinking (again) about long term care insurance. In talking to the insurance agents, they all advised that the cost is higher for women than men as we tend to live longer and need long-term care longer. So, I was surprised that an agent advised that the insurance company determines the rates based on the persons chromosomal makeup.
Here is an excerpt from the insurance companies underwriting guidelines.
Transgender/Transsexual
Completed all gender reassignment surgeries, recovered, no additional surgery planned - OK
Treated with hormones, psychotherapy, no gender reassignment surgery planned - OK
Surgery planned, not completed - Decline
*Note: premium rate will be based upon chromosomal makeup
So, with the above guidelines, my insurance rate will be about $200 less per month.
Ellen
However, it started me thinking (again) about long term care insurance. In talking to the insurance agents, they all advised that the cost is higher for women than men as we tend to live longer and need long-term care longer. So, I was surprised that an agent advised that the insurance company determines the rates based on the persons chromosomal makeup.
Here is an excerpt from the insurance companies underwriting guidelines.
Transgender/Transsexual
Completed all gender reassignment surgeries, recovered, no additional surgery planned - OK
Treated with hormones, psychotherapy, no gender reassignment surgery planned - OK
Surgery planned, not completed - Decline
*Note: premium rate will be based upon chromosomal makeup
So, with the above guidelines, my insurance rate will be about $200 less per month.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 27, 2024, 10:27:28 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 27, 2024, 10:27:28 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
Reguarding your friend, hopefully she fully recovers from her stroke.
Very interesting what you discovered regarding the insurance
company policy regarding Transgender individuals.
I will be eagerly looking for more of you postings, please
keep your Blog updates coming. :)
HUGS, Danielle
Dear Ellen:
Reguarding your friend, hopefully she fully recovers from her stroke.
Very interesting what you discovered regarding the insurance
company policy regarding Transgender individuals.
I will be eagerly looking for more of you postings, please
keep your Blog updates coming. :)
HUGS, Danielle
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: REM.1126 on January 28, 2024, 12:18:30 PM
Post by: REM.1126 on January 28, 2024, 12:18:30 PM
The insurance thing is almost certainly based on numbers and experience. I suppose that suggests that while transitioning can result in increased quality of life, it doesn't add to the long term care cost. That's actually not all bad. If you aren't incurring the cost because you are dead at an earlier age, obviously not ideal. But, we play the cards we are dealt.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on February 14, 2024, 10:03:04 PM
Post by: EllenW on February 14, 2024, 10:03:04 PM
I had one of the best Valentin Days ever. Definitely, the best since my wife died. My boyfriend called this morning and asked what my plans were today. He asked if he could come over after my doctor appointment and before my art class. I of course said yes :icon_redface: When he showed up he had chocolate and a card.
I really felt like a woman who is desired. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling.
(https://i.imgur.com/2x6b4Fy.jpeg)
Ellen
I really felt like a woman who is desired. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling.
(https://i.imgur.com/2x6b4Fy.jpeg)
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 14, 2024, 10:06:00 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 14, 2024, 10:06:00 PM
Aww, that was nice Ellen!
Chrissy
Chrissy
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 30, 2024, 02:57:21 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 30, 2024, 02:57:21 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
You have not posted on your Blog thread for over 2 months....
.... along with the rest of your avid followers I am starving for an
update from you.
Please come back to your blog so that I will stop bugging you about it.
I trust that you are OK, doing well, and having a good year this year.
MANY HUGS, Danielle
Dear Ellen:
You have not posted on your Blog thread for over 2 months....
.... along with the rest of your avid followers I am starving for an
update from you.
Please come back to your blog so that I will stop bugging you about it.
I trust that you are OK, doing well, and having a good year this year.
MANY HUGS, Danielle
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 30, 2024, 03:00:41 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on April 30, 2024, 03:00:41 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
In addition to keeping your blog thread updated, please
tell more about your boyfriend .....update? ???
HUGS, Danielle
Dear Ellen:
In addition to keeping your blog thread updated, please
tell more about your boyfriend .....update? ???
HUGS, Danielle
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on April 30, 2024, 06:21:25 PM
Post by: EllenW on April 30, 2024, 06:21:25 PM
Danielle, thank you for reminding me that I have not posted in a while. I have a very wonderful, retired life.
If you remember from my lost blog, I have taken a number of cruises. This year I am booked on three different cruises this year. The first one is in one week. A friend and I are flying to Miami next week and will be on the Norwegian Breakaway for a cruise to the Bahamas. We are celebrating her birthday on aboard the ship. The next cruise is from Quebec to Boston in the fall. The last cruise is around Japan in November.
One of the great things about be retired is that I am able to try different things that I never had the time for. I am currently taking an oil painting class and dance lessons. I have been concentrating during the dance lessons to follow my dance partner instead of leading and learning how to do the turns in heels. A big change from how I used to dance.
As to my boyfriend. We are getting along great. So great that I asked him to move in with me. This is something I never expected to happen after losing Diane after 40 years.
Ellen
If you remember from my lost blog, I have taken a number of cruises. This year I am booked on three different cruises this year. The first one is in one week. A friend and I are flying to Miami next week and will be on the Norwegian Breakaway for a cruise to the Bahamas. We are celebrating her birthday on aboard the ship. The next cruise is from Quebec to Boston in the fall. The last cruise is around Japan in November.
One of the great things about be retired is that I am able to try different things that I never had the time for. I am currently taking an oil painting class and dance lessons. I have been concentrating during the dance lessons to follow my dance partner instead of leading and learning how to do the turns in heels. A big change from how I used to dance.
As to my boyfriend. We are getting along great. So great that I asked him to move in with me. This is something I never expected to happen after losing Diane after 40 years.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on May 26, 2024, 07:51:20 PM
Post by: EllenW on May 26, 2024, 07:51:20 PM
I had a wonderful cruise to the Bahamas. My friend and I enjoyed a tour of Nassau.
(https://i.imgur.com/T5KTuhy.jpeg)
The only issue was that it was very hot (80F)and humid. So I am very happy to spend the rest of May and Memorial Day up at my cabin in Big Bear, CA. Where the days are cool and the lake is full.
(https://i.imgur.com/25YnswL.jpeg)
Ellen
(https://i.imgur.com/T5KTuhy.jpeg)
The only issue was that it was very hot (80F)and humid. So I am very happy to spend the rest of May and Memorial Day up at my cabin in Big Bear, CA. Where the days are cool and the lake is full.
(https://i.imgur.com/25YnswL.jpeg)
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Lori Dee on May 26, 2024, 08:51:12 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on May 26, 2024, 08:51:12 PM
Great pics! Thanks for sharing.
I love the Big Bear area.
I grew up in Hinkley, near Barstow, and we often went camping at Big Bear. Loved fishing the lake.
I love the Big Bear area.
I grew up in Hinkley, near Barstow, and we often went camping at Big Bear. Loved fishing the lake.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on September 01, 2024, 02:58:46 PM
Post by: EllenW on September 01, 2024, 02:58:46 PM
I thought it was about time to update my blog. I do not post to my blog very often as I live a relatively quiet life as a 70-year-old widow. I am enjoying my new life that I have created since Diane's death and my GCS.
I have gone through the five stages of grieving after losing the love of my life, my wife of 40 years, to cancer the same month that I had my GCS. I still miss her, especially around our anniversary (Aug. 8th) and her birthday (Dec. 21st). It did take a long time to get out of the depression stage and learn to accept that the rest of my life will be without her.
I am staying active by volunteering my time at Laura's House. A charity that provides emergency shelter and counseling to victims of domestic abuse. I spend several hours a week at their re-sell store. I also help at their major events like this past week's charity golf tournament, where we raised over $200,000.
I am still planning on doing a lot of traveling. I leave for Quebec on the 10th. Where I will board the Norwegian Gem for a cruise out the Saint Lawrence Seaway and then down the Canadian/US coast ending in Boston. I am cruising solo on this trip. However, on my next cruise I will be traveling with my boyfriend. We have booked a transatlantic cruise next January. We sail from Miami to Portugal, Spain and France finishing up in the UK.
I am very happy that my boyfriend has moved in with me. We enjoy a lot of the same things, like getting up early on Sunday morning to watch the F1 Italian Grand Prix this morning. Go FERRARI :icon_geekdance: We really enjoy each other's company.
Ellen
I have gone through the five stages of grieving after losing the love of my life, my wife of 40 years, to cancer the same month that I had my GCS. I still miss her, especially around our anniversary (Aug. 8th) and her birthday (Dec. 21st). It did take a long time to get out of the depression stage and learn to accept that the rest of my life will be without her.
I am staying active by volunteering my time at Laura's House. A charity that provides emergency shelter and counseling to victims of domestic abuse. I spend several hours a week at their re-sell store. I also help at their major events like this past week's charity golf tournament, where we raised over $200,000.
I am still planning on doing a lot of traveling. I leave for Quebec on the 10th. Where I will board the Norwegian Gem for a cruise out the Saint Lawrence Seaway and then down the Canadian/US coast ending in Boston. I am cruising solo on this trip. However, on my next cruise I will be traveling with my boyfriend. We have booked a transatlantic cruise next January. We sail from Miami to Portugal, Spain and France finishing up in the UK.
I am very happy that my boyfriend has moved in with me. We enjoy a lot of the same things, like getting up early on Sunday morning to watch the F1 Italian Grand Prix this morning. Go FERRARI :icon_geekdance: We really enjoy each other's company.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Lori Dee on September 01, 2024, 03:13:44 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on September 01, 2024, 03:13:44 PM
Thank you for sharing, Ellen.
I lost my second wife to liver disease, and like you found a good friend to help me through it. She ended up being ex-wife number three, but that was all pre-transition back then.
Your travel plans sound very exciting. If you feel so inclined, please share photos of your journeys to visit other countries. Some of us haven't been out of the US in decades, some maybe never. We can live vicariously through your trips.
Good luck and safe journeys.
I lost my second wife to liver disease, and like you found a good friend to help me through it. She ended up being ex-wife number three, but that was all pre-transition back then.
Your travel plans sound very exciting. If you feel so inclined, please share photos of your journeys to visit other countries. Some of us haven't been out of the US in decades, some maybe never. We can live vicariously through your trips.
Good luck and safe journeys.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 08, 2024, 07:16:13 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 08, 2024, 07:16:13 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
I am wishing YOU a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY
:icon_flower: :icon_flower: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_flower: :icon_flower:
Have a wonderful day of Birthday Celebrations on your "special day" Monday, December 9th
What are your plans for your Birthday?
Dinner out with friends and family?
Cake? Candles? Special trip?
On your Birthday, check your profile for a special gift...
(https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png) (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png) (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png)
HUGS, and my best wishes,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
(https://i.imgur.com/Y0vhJJ2l.jpg)
Dear Ellen:
I am wishing YOU a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY
:icon_flower: :icon_flower: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_flower: :icon_flower:
Have a wonderful day of Birthday Celebrations on your "special day" Monday, December 9th
What are your plans for your Birthday?
Dinner out with friends and family?
Cake? Candles? Special trip?
On your Birthday, check your profile for a special gift...
(https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png) (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png) (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png)
HUGS, and my best wishes,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
(https://i.imgur.com/Y0vhJJ2l.jpg)
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 10, 2024, 10:47:35 AM
Post by: EllenW on December 10, 2024, 10:47:35 AM
Thank you for the birthday wishes. My boyfriend and I took a drive up Pacific Coast Highway to the Getty Villa. Which is a reproduction of a Roman villa that was buried in ash when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD. It has on display a large selection of ancient art from J. Paul Getty's collection. We than had dinner on the beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean at sunset.
Ellen
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Gina P on December 10, 2024, 11:12:35 AM
Post by: Gina P on December 10, 2024, 11:12:35 AM
Happy Birthday Ellen. :icon_birthday:
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: D'Amalie on December 19, 2024, 12:20:54 PM
Post by: D'Amalie on December 19, 2024, 12:20:54 PM
Happy Birthday...and many more!
Next stop up the coast? Hearst Castle.
Next stop up the coast? Hearst Castle.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 19, 2024, 01:31:19 PM
Post by: EllenW on December 19, 2024, 01:31:19 PM
Quote from: D'Amalie on December 19, 2024, 12:20:54 PMHappy Birthday...and many more!
Next stop up the coast? Hearst Castle.
Thanks, love Hearst Castle, was there a couple of years ago to see it decorated for Christmas
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: ChrissyRyan on December 24, 2024, 01:43:35 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on December 24, 2024, 01:43:35 PM
Ellen,
Merry Christmas!
Chrissy
Merry Christmas!
Chrissy
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 07, 2025, 04:27:08 PM
Post by: EllenW on December 07, 2025, 04:27:08 PM
Tonight,I am sailing out of New Orleans on a cruise to celebrate my birthday this Tuesday. I decided to take a pre-cruise tour of New Orleans. This morning we had a tour of the National WWII Museum. When I booked this earlier this year I did not realize that I would be at the WWII Museum on Pearl Harbor Day.
If you are ever in New Orleans this is a must see museum. Not only are the exhibits excellent and very moving, there is a movie hosted by Ton Hanks that is just amazing. It is just an unbelievable.
Ellen
If you are ever in New Orleans this is a must see museum. Not only are the exhibits excellent and very moving, there is a movie hosted by Ton Hanks that is just amazing. It is just an unbelievable.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 07, 2025, 06:00:19 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 07, 2025, 06:00:19 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
Thank you for sharing your plans for your fun Cruise.
Have a good time and be sure to post about your good times on your trip.
I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday
(https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif) (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif) (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif)
My best wishes to you on your Special Day.
Warmest Regards & HUGS, ❤️
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
(https://i.imgur.com/wXEhDUcl.jpg)
Dear Ellen:
Thank you for sharing your plans for your fun Cruise.
Have a good time and be sure to post about your good times on your trip.
I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday
(https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif) (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif) (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif)
My best wishes to you on your Special Day.
Warmest Regards & HUGS, ❤️
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
(https://i.imgur.com/wXEhDUcl.jpg)
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: tgirlamg on December 07, 2025, 06:14:56 PM
Post by: tgirlamg on December 07, 2025, 06:14:56 PM
Happy Birthday Ellen and may your cruise be blessed!!! 💕🚢💕🍾🥂🎂🎁🎈🎉🎉🎉🎊
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: ChrissyRyan on December 07, 2025, 07:05:33 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on December 07, 2025, 07:05:33 PM
Ellen,
Happy birthday!
Chrissy
Happy birthday!
Chrissy
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Lori Dee on December 07, 2025, 09:02:25 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on December 07, 2025, 09:02:25 PM
Happy Birthday, Ellen!
Have lots of fun!
Have lots of fun!
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Pema on December 07, 2025, 11:08:57 PM
Post by: Pema on December 07, 2025, 11:08:57 PM
Happy birthday, Ellen! And bon voyage!
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Dances With Trees on December 08, 2025, 09:35:35 AM
Post by: Dances With Trees on December 08, 2025, 09:35:35 AM
Happy Birthday, Ellen!
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 09, 2025, 03:41:54 PM
Post by: EllenW on December 09, 2025, 03:41:54 PM
Thank you all for the birthday wishes. Today I spent the day exploring the Mayan ruins on Cozumel Island. This evening my boyfriend and I will have a wonderful birthday dinner at one of the best specialty restaurants on the Norwegian Escape. Since I am a frequent passenger on NCL the dinner and a bottle of wine will be free.
I promise to upload photos later.
Ellen
I promise to upload photos later.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 17, 2025, 12:23:58 PM
Post by: EllenW on December 17, 2025, 12:23:58 PM
Here are the photos I promised from my birthday cruise.
As I mentioned earlier, we went to the National WWII Museum in New Orleans before we board the Norwegian Escape. We had a behind the scenes tour of the museum but the highlight for me was being up close to the aircraft my father flew in WWII. The B-25. I remember him telling stories when he was putting in flying time down in Texas, he would buzz the antelope in this bomber. I am sure that must have been quite a sight.
(https://i.imgur.com/zeHHvs6.jpeg)
We got to explore the ruins of two different Mayan cities on the cruise.
(https://i.imgur.com/CGSakLQ.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/R68pwXP.jpeg)
The ship was great and decorated for Christmas.
(https://i.imgur.com/eAmiteP.jpeg)
Ellen
As I mentioned earlier, we went to the National WWII Museum in New Orleans before we board the Norwegian Escape. We had a behind the scenes tour of the museum but the highlight for me was being up close to the aircraft my father flew in WWII. The B-25. I remember him telling stories when he was putting in flying time down in Texas, he would buzz the antelope in this bomber. I am sure that must have been quite a sight.
(https://i.imgur.com/zeHHvs6.jpeg)
We got to explore the ruins of two different Mayan cities on the cruise.
(https://i.imgur.com/CGSakLQ.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/R68pwXP.jpeg)
The ship was great and decorated for Christmas.
(https://i.imgur.com/eAmiteP.jpeg)
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 17, 2025, 12:49:39 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on December 17, 2025, 12:49:39 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
Terrific pictures, thank you for sharing and posting them.
Yes indeed, the cruise lines go all out with decorating their ships for the holidays.
HUGS, Danielle
Dear Ellen:
Terrific pictures, thank you for sharing and posting them.
Yes indeed, the cruise lines go all out with decorating their ships for the holidays.
HUGS, Danielle
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: davina61 on December 17, 2025, 01:45:59 PM
Post by: davina61 on December 17, 2025, 01:45:59 PM
Unfortunately I cant see them in the UK. Sound like you had a good time my dear.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Lori Dee on December 17, 2025, 06:14:50 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on December 17, 2025, 06:14:50 PM
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing.
Looks like a lot of fun!
Looks like a lot of fun!
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on December 18, 2025, 09:53:37 AM
Post by: EllenW on December 18, 2025, 09:53:37 AM
Thanks everyone. My next cruise is set for late April. Barcelona to Lisbon on the much smaller Norwegian Dawn.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 02, 2026, 01:00:02 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 02, 2026, 01:00:02 PM
My old "lost" blog was titled Creating Ellen's New Life. That new life started five years ago. On, January 5, 2021, the love of my life for over 40 years died from mucosal melanoma. It was the worst day of my life. Going through her things deciding what to keep and what to donate to charity was one of the hardest tasks I have ever done. I also had my planned GCS surgery less than a month after she died. Going though that alone was extremely difficult as I did not have anyone to talk to.
I have gone through a lot these past five years, however, looking back on these past five years I see a lot of positive points. After 45 years of working in the international fright transportation industry I decided to retire. I have traveled (nine different cruises and multiple other trips); made new friends, have done volunteer work for different charities. I also went on the dating apps and now have a boyfriend who has moved in with me. Overall, my new life is a good life.
I have never stopped thinking about Diane. Especially at this time of year, with her birthday being Dec. 21st, the fact she loved Christmas. I consider my self lucky in that fact that my last words to Diane was "I love you." On the morning of the 5th, I got up as usual to got to work (I worked from home) and she was awake, so I helped her get comfortable and then kissed he on the forehead and said I love you. I then had my breakfast and took the dogs out for their morning walk. When we returned she was dead.
I am writing this to remind all of us that life is short. That we need to make the most of our lives when we can. And most importantly, tell those in our lives how we feel about them. You never know when the last time you will get a chance to do so.
To Diane, I will never stop loving you.
Ellen
I have gone through a lot these past five years, however, looking back on these past five years I see a lot of positive points. After 45 years of working in the international fright transportation industry I decided to retire. I have traveled (nine different cruises and multiple other trips); made new friends, have done volunteer work for different charities. I also went on the dating apps and now have a boyfriend who has moved in with me. Overall, my new life is a good life.
I have never stopped thinking about Diane. Especially at this time of year, with her birthday being Dec. 21st, the fact she loved Christmas. I consider my self lucky in that fact that my last words to Diane was "I love you." On the morning of the 5th, I got up as usual to got to work (I worked from home) and she was awake, so I helped her get comfortable and then kissed he on the forehead and said I love you. I then had my breakfast and took the dogs out for their morning walk. When we returned she was dead.
I am writing this to remind all of us that life is short. That we need to make the most of our lives when we can. And most importantly, tell those in our lives how we feel about them. You never know when the last time you will get a chance to do so.
To Diane, I will never stop loving you.
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Charlotte Kitty on January 02, 2026, 01:11:48 PM
Post by: Charlotte Kitty on January 02, 2026, 01:11:48 PM
Hey Ellen,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I can't say I don't have tears in my eyes reading this. Only just now I was telling my boyfriend that I kissed him goodbye before I went to work today. Even if he's asleep he should trust this will always be the case. Your words mentioning much the same really hit home. Love is so special and to be cherished everyday.
I'm glad too you have someone new in your life to share your love with in addition to the love you'll always have for Diane.
Sending love and kindness to all of you.
Charlotte X
Thank you for sharing this with us. I can't say I don't have tears in my eyes reading this. Only just now I was telling my boyfriend that I kissed him goodbye before I went to work today. Even if he's asleep he should trust this will always be the case. Your words mentioning much the same really hit home. Love is so special and to be cherished everyday.
I'm glad too you have someone new in your life to share your love with in addition to the love you'll always have for Diane.
Sending love and kindness to all of you.
Charlotte X
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Pema on January 02, 2026, 02:31:49 PM
Post by: Pema on January 02, 2026, 02:31:49 PM
Thank you, Ellen. I am so very sorry that you lost Diane, and so soon. I always appreciate the reminder to live in the moment and from a place of love. I'm not sure there's anything more important.
Sending love your way,
Pema
Sending love your way,
Pema
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 05, 2026, 03:12:37 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 05, 2026, 03:12:37 PM
Today I am sitting at the beach in Huntington Beach looking at the sea where I scattered Diane's ashes. They were scattered where the street she was raised on ended at the Pacific Ocean she loved so much.
Today we have a break in the rain storms. The sky is beautiful with a calm sea and the sun glistening off the water. Diane would be so happy.
I miss her so much
Ellen
Today we have a break in the rain storms. The sky is beautiful with a calm sea and the sun glistening off the water. Diane would be so happy.
I miss her so much
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Pema on January 05, 2026, 03:18:58 PM
Post by: Pema on January 05, 2026, 03:18:58 PM
I'm glad you are there to honor her life and her memory. Sending you lots of love.
Pema
Pema
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 05, 2026, 04:06:16 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 05, 2026, 04:06:16 PM
@EllenW
Dear Ellen:
My warm and caring thoughts are always on my mind for you. I have been following your story
for many years ever since you became a member of Susan's Place and Forum.
Blessings to you and your heartfelt thoughts regarding your Diane.
(https://i.imgur.com/edS1Dkpm.png)
Thank you for sharing from your heart.
❤️
HUGS, and MORE HUGS: Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Dear Ellen:
My warm and caring thoughts are always on my mind for you. I have been following your story
for many years ever since you became a member of Susan's Place and Forum.
Blessings to you and your heartfelt thoughts regarding your Diane.
(https://i.imgur.com/edS1Dkpm.png)
Thank you for sharing from your heart.
❤️
HUGS, and MORE HUGS: Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 05, 2026, 05:17:38 PM
Post by: EllenW on January 05, 2026, 05:17:38 PM
Thank you Pema and Danielle.
Here is view I had this afternoon as I listened to the Rick Springfield's song Irreplicable . He was one of Diane's favorite singers. We saw him in concert every time he was in the aera.
(https://i.imgur.com/YX5RtSp.jpeg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8v4iIIELPQ&list=RDn8v4iIIELPQ&start_radio=1
Ellen
Here is view I had this afternoon as I listened to the Rick Springfield's song Irreplicable . He was one of Diane's favorite singers. We saw him in concert every time he was in the aera.
(https://i.imgur.com/YX5RtSp.jpeg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8v4iIIELPQ&list=RDn8v4iIIELPQ&start_radio=1
Ellen
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Pema on January 05, 2026, 07:35:16 PM
Post by: Pema on January 05, 2026, 07:35:16 PM
It's absolutely gorgeous, Ellen.
I remember seeing Rick Springfield back in the early 80's and him being fantastic.
I'm glad you were able to enjoy such a pleasant day remembering Diane.
You both continue to be in my thoughts.
I remember seeing Rick Springfield back in the early 80's and him being fantastic.
I'm glad you were able to enjoy such a pleasant day remembering Diane.
You both continue to be in my thoughts.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Jillian-TG on January 05, 2026, 09:51:40 PM
Post by: Jillian-TG on January 05, 2026, 09:51:40 PM
Ellen thank you for sharing your story - I enjoyed reading everything despite it being a sad story.
Despite the fact that you lost your wife right before your final surgery you can hold onto the memories and the massive positive that she had your back through thick and thin. That's a remarkable thing because not too many wives stick around. You were blessed to have a wife like that who truly had your back. What a blessing.
Despite the fact that you lost your wife right before your final surgery you can hold onto the memories and the massive positive that she had your back through thick and thin. That's a remarkable thing because not too many wives stick around. You were blessed to have a wife like that who truly had your back. What a blessing.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: davina61 on January 06, 2026, 03:39:29 AM
Post by: davina61 on January 06, 2026, 03:39:29 AM
Sending a BIG cyber HUG my dear XX
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: Dances With Trees on January 06, 2026, 08:05:21 AM
Post by: Dances With Trees on January 06, 2026, 08:05:21 AM
I join with Davina in that big hug. The view of the ocean is so lovely, peaceful.
Title: Re: Ellen's Life
Post by: EllenW on January 06, 2026, 10:50:31 AM
Post by: EllenW on January 06, 2026, 10:50:31 AM
Quote from: Pema on January 05, 2026, 07:35:16 PMI remember seeing Rick Springfield back in the early 80's and him being fantastic.
We last saw him a just few years before Diane died, and he played that song for the fist time. I will never forget that concernt.
Quote from: Jillian-TG on January 05, 2026, 09:51:40 PMYou were blessed to have a wife like that who truly had your back. What a blessing.
Yes I was very blessed.
Quote from: davina61 on January 06, 2026, 03:39:29 AMSending a BIG cyber HUG my dear XX
Quote from: Dances With Trees on January 06, 2026, 08:05:21 AMI join with Davina in that big hug. The view of the ocean is so lovely, peaceful.
Thank you for the hugs
Ellen