Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The Foul Language and Respectful Communication Policy

Welcome to Our Community Forum
Our community forum is a vibrant gathering space dedicated to fostering a diverse, inclusive, and family-friendly environment for members of all ages. The Foul Language and Respectful Communication Policy is at the heart of our commitment to maintaining a respectful atmosphere.

Objective
The policy primarily focuses on eliminating profane language that serves no constructive purpose and moderating language intended to harm or disrespect others.

Policy Statement
We adhere to a zero-tolerance policy towards both profanity and disrespectful language. This encompasses the filtering and removal of such language from all forms of community interaction, including digital, verbal, and written. The policy also addresses language that may attack, harass, or demean, including sarcasm, stereotypical labels, patronizing tones, and imitative mockery, while distinguishing between harmful language and expressions that may be culturally or contextually appropriate.

Scope
This policy is applicable to all community members across all communication mediums, addressing both profane language and language used to belittle or harass others.

Implementation
We employ automated and manual methods to ensure that all members follow the requirements of this policy. An automated system detects and filters out severely profane words, undergoing regular updates for effectiveness. In addition, our moderators actively oversee communications, managing any harmful or disrespectful language that bypasses automated detection.

Consequences of Violations
Content containing filtered profane words or disrespectful language will be edited with the objectionable word(s) replaced. In situations where editing is not sufficient or if the objectionable content is integral to the post, the content will be removed entirely, but only if absolutely necessary.

Repeated violations of this policy may lead to more severe disciplinary actions, including post moderation, or in extreme cases, temporary or permanent exclusion from the community.

Our approach seeks to balance the need for respectful communication with the integrity of member contributions. We emphasize education and understanding as key elements in the policy in order to ensure these measures are rarely needed.

Reporting
Members are encouraged to use the "report this post" link available at the bottom of every message to report instances of overlooked profanity or disrespectful language. Constructive ->-bleeped-<- is vital to the continuous refinement of our policy.

Review and Update
Regular reviews and updates of this policy will ensure it aligns with evolving community standards and technological advancements, maintaining a respectful and welcoming environment for all members.

Conclusion
The Foul Language Policy is essential in upholding the respectful, inclusive nature of our community forum. Compliance with this policy ensures a safe, welcoming environment for all ages. Mindful language use is key to maintaining the friendly and inclusive atmosphere of our community. Together, we can ensure our forum remains a positive, enriching space for every member.

Thank you for your adherence to this policy.

With Regards:

Susan                                                                       Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
Founder Susan's Place Transgender Resources          The Forum Administrator  [Email alaskandanielle@yahoo.com]           
and The Website Administrator                               

2 YEARS later... here is a reminder of our Susan's Place Forum policy regarding Foul Language.
    Please read & review

This includes cloaked and masked profanity...

Depending on the situation with cloaked and masked profanity, a simple Warning
should give the offending member pause regarding that practice.
Also a "moderator edit" on the post will provide a notice to other members reading
the posting.  If this subtle way of moderation does not sink in to offending
members then possible penalties and official warnings will be next.

Also, regarding intentionally attempting to "go around" our censored word filter... 
... this is a big offense and could result in temporary banning, "no post" penalties, etc.

Any questions please contact me or any Forum Staff member.
Regards, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
  The Forum Administrator  [direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com]

Sometimes when I visit a rural diner there is a sign with a hen or rooster and the words,

NO FOWL LANGUAGE here please!

Very IMPORTANT: Once again...several YEARS later...
...there is a crucial need to submit a re-posting and a important reminder of
our Susan's Place Forum policy regarding Foul Language.
                Please read & review

This includes cloaked and masked profanity...
Depending on the situation with cloaked and masked profanity, a simple Warning
should give the offending member pause regarding that practice.
Also a "moderator edit" on the post will provide a notice to other members reading
the posting.  If this subtle way of moderation does not sink in to offending
members then possible penalties, loss of posting privileges and official warnings will be next.
Please don't waste your time in an attempt to fool us with your masking and cloaking efforts, we
have seen it all, and then some.

Also, regarding intentionally attempting to cleverly "go around" our Forum Censored Word Filter...
... this is a big offense and could result in temporary banning, "no post" penalties, etc. 
When you submit a posting you should review your posted text... if you see that the Forum word
censor automatically replaced you non-allowed word or a masked or cloaked version of that non-allowed
word with ->-bleeped-<-  then you should immediately edit the language that you used to avoid our Moderators from editing or removing your posting and being subject to our moderation action. 
If you need help with that please contact me or any of our Forum Moderators listed at the very
end of this posting. 

Please click the following LINK for additional information relevant to our language polices.
                      The Foul Language and Respectful Communication Policy
              https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=247168.msg2262421#msg2262421

Any questions please contact me or any Forum Staff members.
Regards, Danielle[ [Northern Star Girl]
  The Forum Administrator  [direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com]

cc: @Devlyn  @Lori Dee @Sarah B  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah

Well I made my points on excessive censorship already so I won't go there 😁 but.....

I have seen the ->-bleeped-<- thing appear in my message bodies a couple of times and I do not consider myself a foul mouthed poster by any means. In my case, at least once it was picking out a swear word from the middle of a perfectly innocent word and the other time or times it was a word that is not really considered a swear word in general UK parlerance. I trust that the atlantic divide will be considered should any innocent indiscretions occcur?

I am not clear either, if the auto censor bleeps the word out are you saying we have to edit that word even though it has already been censored? How do you do that exactly? I might not notice it has been bleeped in the first place.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 18, 2026, 05:15:51 PMWell I made my points on excessive censorship already so I won't go there 😁 but.....

I have seen the ->-bleeped-<- thing appear in my message bodies a couple of times and I do not consider myself a foul mouthed poster by any means. In my case, at least once it was picking out a swear word from the middle of a perfectly innocent word and the other time or times it was a word that is not really considered a swear word in general UK parlerance. I trust that the atlantic divide will be considered should any innocent indiscretions occcur?

I am not clear either, if the auto censor bleeps the word out are you saying we have to edit that word even though it has already been censored? How do you do that exactly? I might not notice it has been bleeped in the first place.

This does happen sometimes. Next to the POST button is a PREVIEW button, so you can see how your post looks. Yes, please remove whatever is causing the Bleep. If you have already posted, those buttons will give you a Quick Edit option to go back and fix typos or whatever. I believe that stays for 24 hours; after that, you'll need Staff help to edit a post. That's ok; we don't mind helping keep everything tidy for all ages and cultures.

As for being held against you for using your local parlance, not necessarily. But keep in mind where your audience lives. People from all over the world visit here every day. And since the site is physically located in the U.S., we must abide by U.S. rules and customs.

The last thing we want to do is take action. We much rather you all police yourself before posting. We all understand the need and get it, but recent postings on the forums resulted in us needing to take action. We much rather interact with you all and share in the joys and low points in life regardless of where someone is on their journey. Things have changed a lot since I became a member an originally joined forum staff. I do believe we found a much more balanced approach that benefits everyone. If you ever have a question or want to understand why, then please don't hesitate to ask. Anywho that is my two cents. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 18, 2026, 05:15:51 PMWell I made my points on excessive censorship already so I won't go there 😁 but.....

I have seen the ->-bleeped-<- thing appear in my message bodies a couple of times and I do not consider myself a foul mouthed poster by any means. In my case, at least once it was picking out a swear word from the middle of a perfectly innocent word and the other time or times it was a word that is not really considered a swear word in general UK parlerance. I trust that the atlantic divide will be considered should any innocent indiscretions occcur?

I am not clear either, if the auto censor bleeps the word out are you saying we have to edit that word even though it has already been censored? How do you do that exactly? I might not notice it has been bleeped in the first place.

Since this is likely my fault I will apologize again for the need to bring this up. I didn't intend to take away from the mission of this site. I just found that I enjoy writing and have been letting my crazy ideas run wild I promise to pay more attention in the future.

@tammy753 
Dear Tammy:
I greatly appreciate your message but please know that you do not need to apologize.  The Susan's Place
Forum Language Policy is meant to EDUCATE our members, and not to Demean, Disrespect, or to Harshly Castigate
you or any other member. 

As was emphasized in a few of the recent postings around our site, we have underage members and members from all walks
of life and from world-wide cultures, and we are aware that our site is frequently viewed in schools and public library computers so it is essential that our site does not get blocked because of language.  Street language on our site is not a good way to promote favor with our guests, viewers and public institutions.

If you have any questions or additional comments for me please feel free to communicate with me.
Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
  Forum Administrator  Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

               cc:  @Devlyn  @Lori Dee @Sarah B  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah

Quote from: tammy753 on September 18, 2026, 07:37:29 PMSince this is likely my fault I will apologize again for the need to bring this up. I didn't intend to take away from the mission of this site. I just found that I enjoy writing and have been letting my crazy ideas run wild I promise to pay more attention in the future.

This is a non-issue. The site's rules apply. We follow those rules.
🙂

Thanks Lori.

You mean when it says bleeped on my post as I view it, everyone else can see the profanity? Otherwise I fail to see the point in spending time going back and re-editing the word "bleeped"??? Surely that is not offensive to anyone? If I notice a particular word has triggered the censor then I know not to use that word again. Is the mere sight of the word "bleeped" offensive over there? Guess it must be a culture thing.

By innocent UK parlerance I mean that it would not have occurred to me that it was a swear word in a different country. We are two countries separated by a common language after all! Your F word for a derrierre for example is an offensive word on this side of the pond so it goes both ways!

I know I'm being a bit argumentitive here but you can see why it can rapidly descend into farce when things get heavy handed over generally innocent postings. I am getting a bit used to being ticked off now but when I first arrived here and started receiving moderator discipline I was very upset, highly embarrassed and very nearly left the site for good (I know, you were so very close to being rid of me!)

Anyway, I seem to be a lone voice on this matter so I won't say any more on it.

@tammy753 I really hope it does not kerb your freedom of expression on your blog. Reading your musings has been a real breath of fresh air to me. And yeah, perhaps there might be something wrong with me lol!

Ah, two nations separated by a common language. 🤣

When I arrived in the UK the commonplace use of the C word for the inconsiderate drivers out there was eye-opening.

In the New England region of the US, beer and liquor are sold in a package store, which we call a "Packie". Imagine my surprise over its usage here.

And you'd be shocked by our well known candy stores pictured below.

  I spent a lot of time visiting candy stores when I traveled.

Quote from: Devlyn on September 19, 2026, 05:40:56 AMAh, two nations separated by a common language. 🤣

When I arrived in the UK the commonplace use of the C word for the inconsiderate drivers out there was eye-opening.

In the New England region of the US, beer and liquor are sold in a package store, which we call a "Packie". Imagine my surprise over its usage here.

And you'd be shocked by our well known candy stores pictured below.

Well yes quite, over here "packie" is grossly offensive to most people in the UK and especially people of Pakistani or other South Asian origin and it kind of illustrates my point. It is most definitely NOT ok to use that language over here and in some cases can actually get you arrested. Is that on the censor list? Clearly not. So the censorship really only applies to words that offend Americans which, given Susans is an American site, I suppose is fair enough really. It's just that non Americans should be cut a little slack is all I'm saying.

But in the US we don't call people from Pakistan that. It's just a shortening of the word "package". It's not a slur used against anyone. And I'll bet "packie" isn't how you spell it there. 🙂

Also, package stores are almost invariably run by Irish people around Boston.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 19, 2026, 08:58:26 AMWell yes quite, over here "packie" is grossly offensive to most people in the UK and especially people of Pakistani or other South Asian origin and it kind of illustrates my point. It is most definitely NOT ok to use that language over here and in some cases can actually get you arrested. Is that on the censor list? Clearly not. So the censorship really only applies to words that offend Americans which, given Susans is an American site, I suppose is fair enough really. It's just that non Americans should be cut a little slack is all I'm saying.

I remember when I heard that term in a BBC doc about the skinhead movement. It was so weird with the way it was discussed. But, growing up in America, I understood the dissonance. I've heard and seen similar backwards ideas and attitudes here. It just revolves around different groups.

Quote from: Devlyn on September 19, 2026, 09:05:44 AMBut in the US we don't call people from Pakistan that. It's just a shortening of the word "package". It's not a slur used against anyone. And I'll bet "packie" isn't how you spell it there. 🙂

Well yes, I know you don't but you are using an abhorrent term that people from the UK can see (as this is a world wide site) and your censor thinks that is fine. The reverse could be true and words that barely register as offensive in the UK can take on a whole other meaning over in the US. I would hate for someone to fall foul of harsh punishment for a quirk of language.

Of course this assumes that once told, said "offender" ceases to use the word, repeated violations are fair game. I just wonder if, for a first offence, a bleeped autocensor correction plus a quiet PM isn't a more gentle way to do it than publicily chastising someone on the thread? Maybe that is happening, I don't know but when it's public it looks heavy handed (to me at least)

God I just won't shut up about this will I ha ha! Sorry Dev, I'm like a dog with a bone lol!

You are more than welcome to challenge the use of a word that could be found offensive in other places or dispute something you feel to be unfair nicely via DM with Danielle, Susan or a moderator. This thread is not the place to do it. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 19, 2026, 11:49:35 AMWell yes, I know you don't but you are using an abhorrent term that people from the UK can see (as this is a world wide site) and your censor thinks that is fine. The reverse could be true and words that barely register as offensive in the UK can take on a whole other meaning over in the US. I would hate for someone to fall foul of harsh punishment for a quirk of language.

Of course this assumes that once told, said "offender" ceases to use the word, repeated violations are fair game. I just wonder if, for a first offence, a bleeped autocensor correction plus a quiet PM isn't a more gentle way to do it than publicily chastising someone on the thread? Maybe that is happening, I don't know but when it's public it looks heavy handed (to me at least)

God I just won't shut up about this will I ha ha! Sorry Dev, I'm like a dog with a bone lol!

This is the bottom line straight from the site's owner:

Please address disputes with other members, or policy concerns privately with the site staff. If you have any concerns or disagreements with policies or members, please resolve these matters privately with the moderators or administrators, rather than airing them publicly. — [TOS 10]

Understand that posting is a privilege, subject to moderation: Our platform is a curated space. The ability to post and share is a privilege that comes with the responsibility to adhere to our guidelines. Content may be moderated to ensure it aligns with community standards. — [TOS 11]

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html

@Stottie Girl  @tammy753 @Laura Squirrel

Dear Sarah Laura and Tammy:
Just to be clear regarding how the Moderators handle the ->-Bleeped-<- we find in members postings. . .
. . . We do Not remove the ->-Bleeped-<- . . .we let it stay in the posting because the censored word filter has done its job by not allowing non-acceptable words to be posted.

What we especially focus on are cloaked and masked profanity and any efforts to cleverly work around the word filter.
That constitutes a serious violation of our policy that can result in editing and/or removal of the posting and if that kind of manipulation is flagrant or repeated then penalties may be applied or even issuing a Ban or revoking posting privileges and more.

Please know that we are not trying to be heavy handed with our moderation actions . . . We just wish to have our published rules followed. . . for a lot of important reasons.

If you have questions about this please contact me via Forum Private Message or my direct Email at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Warm Regards and thank you for reading this.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
    Forum Aministrator

cc: @Devlyn @Lori Dee @Sarah B
        @Jessica_Rose @Mariah

OK so I have been posting on my blog and the censor has repeatedly bleeped out the word g r o w t h

Surely that is not an offensive word???!!! It bleeped out every instance of the word in the post. I am not swearing.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 20, 2026, 02:44:53 AMOK so I have been posting on my blog and the censor has repeatedly bleeped out the word g r o w t h

Surely that is not an offensive word???!!! It bleeped out every instance of the word in the post. I am not swearing.

Just noticed on my blog to. Seems the bot has lost the plot!

The filter is triggering on the last three letters. They were added because people were overusing them. We're tired of the gratuitous cursing.

@Northern Star Girl can review the situation.

Quote from: Devlyn on September 20, 2026, 03:03:10 AMThe filter is triggering on the last three letters. They were added because people were overusing them. We're tired of the gratuitous cursing.

@Northern Star Girl can review the situation.

Well that's just gro->-bleeped-<-ing ridiculous!🤣🤣😉

Yeah, might need tweaking lol!

PS those three letters constitute gratuitous swearing? There really is a world of difference between us I fear.

No, someone dumping them in nearly every post makes them gratuitous. 🙂

Relax, Sarah. Relax. Things will sometimes need a bit of touchup.
Assuming that exactly the w-t-h (dashes to make it pass filter) in any combination of case and as a separate word is what should be bleeped, then it's probably just a regex that needs to be changed from (w-t-h) to something like (?i)(\bw-t-h\b), so that it matches case insensitive but only whole words.

Dashes of course not included in the real regex, but inserted here to pass the filter.
Admin will fix this, if it needs to be fixed. Cut her some slack...
☺️

I like the filter.  I wish in real life people had better filters. 

Swear words are often used by them as if they were "everyday non-swear words."

Is the computerized filter perfect?  Perhaps not in some cases.   But it was established to make posts "cleaner" in terms of word usage.

Personally I sit in a more pragmatic place with regards to swear words, profanity and such. I understand and appreciate that the site rules endeavour to create a safe and appropriate environment for all ages. However I disagree with any notion that swear words don't have a place in society. The mere reactions here and complete polarisation of opinions demonstrate the strength that these words have. At times they can convey a sense of desperation or passion that I dont believe other words do. Equally some cultures have swearing much more embedded within them.  Of course I agree to rules limiting swearing in places like Susan's,  but I firmly disagree with casting judgement over those that do swear more often.

That's just my two pennies worth!

Charlotte ❤️

@charotte Kitty @Stottie Girl @Finally Anna @Devlyn @Lori Dee @Sarah B

Note.  I HAVE REMOVED:  WTH
FROM THE CENSORED LIST.   
Thank you all for your input.

 
Danielle, Forum Admim

I do ride the middle rail on this one (is that even a thing?). One one hand, I believe in Kurt Vonnegut's words:

"profanity and obscenity entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you."

Clear concise communication doesn't require vulgarity. We have lots of words (in this particular language), and a good communicator can express all available emotions without cursing.

On the other hand, I completely agree with Frank Zappa:

"Profanity is language that's offensive to anyone sensitive to that language used. It's based on cultural norms ... There is no sound you can make with your mouth that will make you go to Hell or make you become a social liability."

History's most beautiful and expressive art is often filled with vulgarity (see Henry Miller, Charles Bukowski, Rembrandt, Dali, Warhol et al) and words are wonderful, even the naughty ones.

But yes, we must protect the children and, perhaps equally important is protecting the existence and proliferation of Susan's, as it's a life-saving resource. But we have 9 year-olds freely using colloquialized words such as "boob" and "wth" so we kind of have to keep up with the times. Doing so actually positively contributes to the odds of our survival, since this is an extremely outdated medium we're using. Also, photos of women in bras and men in underwear appear on TV, in print and on billboards, so don't worry about going to Hell for that.

Frank on nipples:

"I like nipples. I think they look good. If you are going to look at a woman's breast, if you take the nipple off, which is the characterizing, determining factor, what you've got is a blob of fat there. And I think that when you're a baby, one of the first things you get interested in is that nozzle right there, and you get to have it right in front of your face. You grow up with it, so to speak. And then you grow up in the state of Maryland and they won't let you see that little brown thing any more."

A recent post of mine was edited to remove banned content, which was the oblique mention of a hugely useful and informative content sharing/social media site that sees over 100 million users per day. OK, maybe this site is a source of incorrect or "bad" information, since it's powered by its users. But so is Google and Yahoo. Can I mention them here? Will this post be edited? I don't know. I'm not angry about it; I just think that particular policy is outdated.

We need look no further than the site you mentioned, Courtney. When it was created it boasted no moderation. It became a toxic cesspool (hence its being banned here). Now it has moderation across the platform. For another example look to Elon Musk's platform, a "free speech" haven. It's another toxic cesspool, and free speech only applies to Mr Musk himself.

But there is moderation now, so perhaps it's no longer a toxic cesspool. The sub I tried to mention is heavily moderated and it's a useful information repository.

One of our members here recently posted her transition progress there and the post was removed because it lacked the level of detail required in the rules of the sub.

It's also a useful place to learn about other's experiences with failing Subaru rear wheel bearings for example.

Perhaps people who don't use it at all write it off as a toxic heckscape, but that's not been my experience. In the "mtf" sub, I've helped, supported and consoled young trans people who need that and who would never, ever post here. Unfortunate, but it's a fact. In the "electrolysis" group, I've watched experienced practitioners answer questions posed by scared and confused clients who needed a second option.

And it's here to stay.

Thanks Danielle, really appreciate the common sense and quick response.

Those three letters causing so much offence across the pond is baffling to me as over here it is no different to saying "good grief" or something similar. This is what I mean about causing unintended offence. I think you can see on here I am not a swearer intentionally. Contrary to what you might think from my recent postings I will actually welcome being told if a word has a different context over there.

The last thing I want to do is cause offence but I can't help sticking up for people when I see them singled out for something I view as minor. That's just my nature, feel free to ignore me though lol!🤣

Quote from: Courtney G on September 20, 2026, 11:32:16 AMBut there is moderation now, so perhaps it's no longer a toxic cesspool. The sub I tried to mention is heavily moderated and it's a useful information repository.

One of our members here recently posted her transition progress there and the post was removed because it lacked the level of detail required in the rules of the sub.

It's also a useful place to learn about other's experiences with failing Subaru rear wheel bearings for example.

Perhaps people who don't use it at all write it off as a toxic heckscape, but that's not been my experience. In the "mtf" sub, I've helped, supported and consoled young trans people who need that and who would never, ever post here. Unfortunate, but it's a fact. In the "electrolysis" group, I've watched experienced practitioners answer questions posed by scared and confused clients who needed a second option.

And it's here to stay.

Conversely, in the mtf sub they initially allowed misgendering of other transgender people, including Susan and myself.

If you were running Courtney's Place Transgender Resources and you were misgendered over there, would you be in a big hurry to let people advertise for them on your site?

I must say I do use that site that seems to be hated, but not in a particularly participatory way. I visit, extract information then leave. If you wanna experience getting insults, just get caught by TERF trolls on facebook or threads.  But each place has its merits. I gain some benefits here and other benefits on other socials. They are very different with very different purposes. Would be boring if everywhere was the same!

Quote from: Devlyn on September 20, 2026, 11:38:40 AMConversely, in the mtf sub they initially allowed misgendering of other transgender people, including Susan and myself.

If you were running Courtney's Place Transgender Resources and you were misgendered over there, would you be in a big hurry to let people advertise for them on your site?

I get it, and I don't mind the ban. As I mentioned, it doesn't upset me. But that site exists in tandem with this one but attracts an entirely different generation of users, as I've mentioned.

Quote from: Courtney G on September 20, 2026, 12:47:39 PMI get it, and I don't mind the ban. As I mentioned, it's doesn't upset me. But that site exists in tandem with this one but attracts an entirely different generation of users, as I've mentioned.

Also, and not to put too fine of a point on it, but let's pretend that Susan's is the Budweiser site. And you're telling people to go try Miller High Life. You wouldn't expect a resounding welcome to that, right? 😉

Quote from: Devlyn on September 20, 2026, 01:03:12 PMAlso, and not to put too fine of a point on it, but let's pretend that Susan's is the Budweiser site. And you're telling people to go try Miller High Life. You wouldn't expect a resounding welcome to that, right? 😉

If your friend drinks Budweiser and you think telling them that Miller High Life exists and can be enjoyed as beer will get them to stop drinking Budweiser, then you should improve the quality of your beer.

Edit: I would never suggest any other site as a preferable alternative to Susan's.

If either of you think that Budweiser or Miller counts as beer then there is something seriously wrong with the pair of you lol!

Quote from: Stottie Girl on September 20, 2026, 02:06:00 PMIf either of you think that Budweiser or Miller counts as beer then there is something seriously wrong with the pair of you lol!

Agreed!!!!!!  Although I have ordered Bud Light (Lime) on occasion in solidarity with Dylan Mulvaney.

If someone wishes to use the swear words that is their right in an unsupervised all words are okay scenario.  I just try to not have to listen to it (or read it) and wish that those words would not be said in my presence. 

I would ask a waitress to move me from my table to another one if there were many such words said by people at dining tables near me.  Why should I have my meal ruined, and it is me moving, not them?

So many TV skits have been downgraded in my opinion (it may not be your opinion, and please note that is not a comment directed at anyone in particular) by the use of these swear words.  Trouble is, after you hear them, it is too late to avoid hearing what you heard.  You can though avoid hearing any more by switching the station, podcast, or stream, so to speak.

I think most people would follow the rules, if made aware, about word choice in a setting.

I want to start by saying that I completely respect that this site is provided by generous people, and donations seem entirely appropriate — I was happy to make one. The people who run it get to set whatever standards they want. I'm a guest here, and I'll follow the rules. I'm extremely grateful to have a site like Susan's Place.
I also understand that moderating language in an international community is complicated. A word that seems completely harmless in one country can be vulgar or offensive in another. So I do appreciate that the moderators are trying to create a space that works for people from different cultures and backgrounds.
My preference, though, would be to focus more on how language is being used than on whether a particular word or abbreviation appears at all. Sometimes very broad filters can catch language that clearly isn't intended as profanity, and that can make the rules feel more restrictive than they need to be. To me, there is an important difference between language used to insult or attack someone and language used casually, humorously, or for emphasis. Civility matters much more to me than linguistic purity.
As someone fairly immersed in technology, I also understand that what I'm describing is much more difficult than having an automated filter do the work.
I appreciate that there is a forum here for discussing this. I've done some moderation of similar sites, and it's always useful to get user feedback. Ultimately, though, the people who pay for and manage this site have to feel comfortable with the community they're maintaining, regardless of whether someone like me would draw the line differently.
I'll always follow the rules. Frankly, I find it kind of mind-blowing that people deliberately play games trying to sneak in language they already know isn't allowed.

I don't disagree with any of that Kirsta and like you, I do intend to follow the rules and correct indescressions where they arise. I just do not like kerbs on freedom of speech which is what top down censorship totally feels like to me. I've said my piece and as you say it is Susans Place and Susans rules. It won't stop me wanting to be here. I am very grateful for it.

Chrissy, you are a very sensitive soul. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to go about your life being so affected by harsh language. I would not advise coming to the UK!