Susan's Place Transgender Resources

To put this short I don't pass very well after 2 years of Hrt

I transitioned too late me thinks

So if I try to get FFS I'll fail the Pysch eval part of the hiring process most likely as if being Trans wasn't enough

So it's either walk around looking like a 15 yr old male transvestite Neanderthal and make almost everyone else uncomfortable or stay in the closet (boymode) until I'm already on the job and off probation

Not sure what my best move is  here

Thanks

Hello DG619,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

It looks like you are a new member here and this is one of your first posts. Thank you for contributing to the discussion.

Your situation is a difficult one. Ultimately, the only person who can make that decision is you, as we know nothing about you. That said, here in the U.S. it is illegal to discriminate against someone based on sex. The Equal Opportunity law has been interpreted to include Gender Identity and sexual preference. So if you are upfront with them during the interview, they cannot discriminate against you and not hire you FOR THAT REASON. You can be excluded for some other reason (low test score, experience level, etc.). On the other hand, if you keep it a secret from them you sort of lose that protection in that they could claim they didn't know and therefore could not have discriminated against you (even if they did). If it was me, I would go with being totally honest with them. They know the law. They may find some other excuse to exclude you, then it would be up to you to prove it was discrimination. You can only do that if you have told them at the beginning. I hope things work out.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

We would like to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html) and introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. Please pay particular attention to the links marked in RED. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at\~  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

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@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

Hello DG619

My name is Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that Lori has also welcomed you to Susan's.

Yes, you certainly have posed a conundrum, in many ways.  I agree with Lori and that you have not given us enough information in regards to your current predicament.  In other words "we know nothing about you" and there are too many variables, so that we can offer suggestions on how you could go about your future.

You mention in your post:

Quote from: DG619 on July 02, 2024, 12:55:57 PMTo put this short I don't pass very well after 2 years of Hrt

I transitioned too late me thinks

We are our own worst critics, which needs to be kept in mind.  The effects of hormone on the face are of course limited.  In the areas of breast development, five years was the number being bandied around the time I changed my life around.  However I never worried about what I got from HRT and I'm happy with what I got.  If the effects had not been to my liking, I might have done something about it.

You are never to late to 'transition', age is no barrier and there are members that have changed late in life.

Quote from: DG619 on July 02, 2024, 12:55:57 PMSo if I try to get FFS I'll fail the Pysch eval part of the hiring process most likely as if being Trans wasn't enough

My question is does the psychology evaluation ask if you had surgery?  Too which I would ask, "why does it matter if you did or did not?", which leads into your, "as if being Trans wasn't enough".

Lori's answer to that was they are not allowed to overtly discriminate against you according to the laws in America.  However, they can covertly discriminate against you.

Quote from: DG619 on July 02, 2024, 12:55:57 PMSo it's either walk around looking like a 15 yr old male transvestite Neanderthal and make almost everyone else uncomfortable or stay in the closet (boymode) until I'm already on the job and off probation

Not sure what my best move is here

Thanks

I'm sure you are older than 15 years,  but then HRT will make you look 10 years younger, I should know!  I sense that you are more than just a 'transvestite' and you and only you can decide if that is the case, with the help of a 'gender therapist', who is well versed in that area of course.

There are too many variables involved to determine, how you can go about changing your life around, as Lori says, "Ultimately, the only person who can make that decision is you, as we know nothing about you" and I completely agree with her.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will come along and discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@DG619

@DG619

Welcome aboard DG... As noted, we can't point you in the direction that is best for you but, I will offer a couple quick observations... Sticking with HRT for 2 years tells me you must be deriving some benefit from it and feel that, to some degree, you are on the right path with things... I would think that HRT for that period of time and FFS would not be looked at too differently from the perspective of a department you would be applying too.

I have addressed classes at our local Police Academy many times and have met several trans officers over the years so, I don't think you are out of the running for a position if that is where your heart truly lays. There are an infinite number of ways to balance dysphoria/career/relationships and life... My unsolicited advice is do your research and assume nothing about the policies of different departments... I suspect they vary greatly and at the same time search yourself... answer the big questions about what you truly need in your own life to make it a life that serves you and serves you well...

This is a great community filled with people who have made their lives work for them in amazing new ways after lifetimes spent hiding in fear... I hope you make use of the experiences and insights to be found here as you find your answers!

All good things to you!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Quote from: DG619 on July 02, 2024, 12:55:57 PMNot sure what my best move is  here

If you want to be a police officer then you must be under about 40.. which is nowhere near 'transitioned too late..' - who are you kidding?.. people have transitioned in their 80's.. and success is in how it dispels your gender dysphoria, not how some random strangers assess you..

You don't tell us where you are, but most modern, western forces have discrimination policies to protect rights like gender and sexuality.. you should have no issues at all in either the application process, training or job. Good officers don't look a certain way or conform to any stereotypes these days. Therefore, no FFS required for the job..

Take some time and investigate the force your wishing to join, maybe ask questions on their facebook page or go down and talk to someone about it.. better than just trying to guess what the answers are. Good luck

Quote from: tgirlamg on July 02, 2024, 06:44:35 PM@DG619

Welcome aboard DG... As noted, we can't point you in the direction that is best for you but, I will offer a couple quick observations... Sticking with HRT for 2 years tells me you must be deriving some benefit from it and feel that, to some degree, you are on the right path with things... I would think that HRT for that period of time and FFS would not be looked at too differently from the perspective of a department you would be applying too.

I have addressed classes at our local Police Academy many times and have met several trans officers over the years so, I don't think you are out of the running for a position if that is where your heart truly lays. There are an infinite number of ways to balance dysphoria/career/relationships and life... My unsolicited advice is do your research and assume nothing about the policies of different departments... I suspect they vary greatly and at the same time search yourself... answer the big questions about what you truly need in your own life to make it a life that serves you and serves you well...

This is a great community filled with people who have made their lives work for them in amazing new ways after lifetimes spent hiding in fear... I hope you make use of the experiences and insights to be found here as you find your answers!

All good things to you!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

It could

The issue is to get any insurance coverage you need to see a pysch for atleast a few months to sign off on a letter for you

Another thing I don't see anyone talk about is a lot of surgeons require that even if you're paying out of pocket due to liability reasons

Seeing a shrink for FFS is kinda giving the voodoo evaluator ammo to DQ you

Every agency is different though so I guess I need to email a recruiter and see if I can get an answer

If the police is anything like the Army I know the stigma of mental health is pretty bad despite the lip service admin gives

No good deed goes unpunished , eh ?

Just because you see a therapist or psychologist does not mean you are crazy. Even psychologists see a psychologist.

The purpose of the surgeon's letters is to confirm the treatment is appropriate. Various forms of surgery (genital, breast, face) are only available to treat specific conditions. Gender dysphoria is one of those conditions and is not something the surgeons can diagnose themselves. That comes from a Mental Health provider.

If you plan to transition, you should be seeing a therapist anyway. They can help guide you through issues like this, as well as help with obstacles you may encounter down the road.

Welcome DG,
  Many public service agencies are required to diversify. Being Trans might just be the 'in' you need!
 As LoriDee said, mental health counseling can be a great help. Granted it must be someone you are comfortable with. I have been seeing one for a while now and found it extremely helpful.

Quote from: LoriDee on July 03, 2024, 09:13:43 AMJust because you see a therapist or psychologist does not mean you are crazy. Even psychologists see a psychologist.

The purpose of the surgeon's letters is to confirm the treatment is appropriate. Various forms of surgery (genital, breast, face) are only available to treat specific conditions. Gender dysphoria is one of those conditions and is not something the surgeons can diagnose themselves. That comes from a Mental Health provider.

If you plan to transition, you should be seeing a therapist anyway. They can help guide you through issues like this, as well as help with obstacles you may encounter down the road.

Unfortunately not everyone shares that same viewpoint

Especially the doc looking for anything to disqualify you from service as a LEO

If they are looking for anything, they will find something. Even LEOs who have fired their weapon in the line of duty are required to see a therapist. Seems like a double standard to disqualify someone from seeing a therapist before they were hired. That is discrimination.

Hi DG619

You stated in your Original Post and I quote:

Quote from: DG619 on July 02, 2024, 12:55:57 PMTo put this short I don't pass very well after 2 years of Hrt

I transitioned too late me thinks

So if I try to get FFS I'll fail the Pysch eval part of the hiring process most likely as if being Trans wasn't enough

So it's either walk around looking like a 15 yr old male transvestite Neanderthal and make almost everyone else uncomfortable or stay in the closet (boymode) until I'm already on the job and off probation

Not sure what my best move is here

Thanks

and in another post:

Quote from: DG619 on July 03, 2024, 05:08:43 PMUnfortunately not everyone shares that same viewpoint

Especially the doc looking for anything to disqualify you from service as a LEO

It does not matter whether, according to you "I don't pass", "transitioned too late", "I'll fail the Pysch eval part", "walk around looking like a 15 yr old male transvestite", "Unfortunately not everyone shares that same viewpoint" or "Especially the doc looking for anything to disqualify you from service as a LEO".  No surgeon is going to perform any surgery on you, unless you have those surgery letters.

The surgeon is going to dictate to you, what they want in order to proceed with any surgery.  One letter at least for FFS and at least two for Genital Surgery, if I'm not mistaken.  In addition other requirements that they deem necessary.  Lets summarize this, No Letters, Means No Surgery.

The only way you are going to get those surgery letters is to see a 'therapist', whether it's psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor.  Wpath or Standards of Care (SOC) are the guidelines that the 'therapists' follow to issue those surgery letters.

Which brings me to your 'insurance'.  I understand you don't want to pay for any surgery and nobody does.  However the reality is, whether you have a job or no job, insurance or no insurance  or any combination thereof, you are going to be paying out of pocket and it's going to be more than likely, substantial.  There are going to be exceptions, but not many I surmise.

In regards to your future employer, whether you tell them about any past 'therapist' visits is up to you and only you, you will have to weigh up the consequences on your actions.  In addition I assume you will be required to undergo a physical examination and that maybe revealing, given your current appearance and of course if you had your name changed, then their will be a back ground check.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, when I changed my life around, I found out I needed to see a psychiatrist and the word at the time, the one I chose was 'tough but fair'.  I chose him, to make sure I was deadly serious in what I wanted, not that he knew that.  I did not trust them as I had read that they could gatekeep you.

I would have had the surgery the same day I arrived in Sydney, however that was never going, happen.  I did have my surgery letters around 13 months in, but I still had to wait two years for my surgery, due to the SOC in effect at the time.  I was not happy about it.  When I had my surgery, I had to pay for everything, except for a couple of small reimbursements.

So we come to your comment, "Not sure what my best move is here".  Several members of Susan's have made helpful suggestions to help you, based on the scant information that you have provided.

Unless you provide more information, with out revealing anything about yourself, like what state you live in.  Then members of Susan's are not going to be able to help you in anyway that's more constructive for you.

In other words, you will have to navigate the myriad of obstacles that are in your way at the present, by yourself and in doing so, you will have to find the least path of resistance to achieve your dreams.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@DG619
@LoriDee
@SoupSarah
@Gina P
@tgirlamg

Quote from: DG619 on July 03, 2024, 01:17:22 AMIt could

The issue is to get any insurance coverage you need to see a pysch for atleast a few months to sign off on a letter for you

Another thing I don't see anyone talk about is a lot of surgeons require that even if you're paying out of pocket due to liability reasons

Seeing a shrink for FFS is kinda giving the voodoo evaluator ammo to DQ you

Every agency is different though so I guess I need to email a recruiter and see if I can get an answer

If the police is anything like the Army I know the stigma of mental health is pretty bad despite the lip service admin gives

No good deed goes unpunished , eh ?

It's the people who don't seek help from qualified, trained professionals in the field of mental health, mental wellbeing, and refusing to admit that it's okay that someone might know more about why you're going through what you're going through... more than you do... who end up in trouble, sweetie.

As someone from a military background also, albeit in the UK... I know how it used to be. But things change. Things move on. Heck, the latest navy subs are being built with female facilities on board. For the first time, like, ever. Because women were never allowed to serve on subs.

Mental health is no less important than physical health. In a lot of ways it's more important. Things change. We always learn more and more. Old.. outdated views and ways die out.

Old boys clubs don't last forever, hon. The people who hold these views are all getting very, well... old.

There is no shame in seeing someone for mental health. You don't avoid going to the doctor if you have something bothering you with your physical health. This is no different. It really isn't. The stigma is all from a generation who lived in a different time, okay? Things are changing. All around the world. There is hope.

Never be afraid to turn to someone for help and to do what you need to do, because you don't think other people will "get it". These things die out in the end, as the world learns more about how important it is to keep on top of these issues.

Rambo was only good in the 1980s.

There is no such thing as "too late" when it comes to transitioning. Networks are in place to help everyone get through this. That some people maybe don't like, or get it... that's not your issue. And it's not an issue you should have to face when it comes to employment.

*hugs* you can do this sweetie. From a brit... where our police service is woefully inadequate... that anyone wants to do that is like... it's a huge deal. And every effort should be made to encourage as many people as possible who want to keep people safe. You have my eternal admiration for even wanting to do that job. Not even kidding.