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Found out my dad has Alzheimer's yesterday. I saw something was not right and mom saw it too. He could not remember my name at times and had to remind him. Did hit my mom being verbally abuse twice and this has never happened at all before. Did get it checked out yesterday and specialist said he has Alzheimer's. He is 73 years old and no spring chicken. He is on medication for it and going to be there for him spending time with him. My brothers are going to spend time with him as well including my nieces and nephews. He knows we are going to be there for him.

Hi NikkiM,

Sorry to hear that about your dad.

Marion

Quote from: Maid Marion on October 05, 2024, 09:55:29 AMHi NikkiM,

Sorry to hear that about your dad.

Marion

We are going to do what the specialist has said. Going to pull his driver's license as well, specialist did recommend this too 

Quote from: NikkiM on October 05, 2024, 09:48:29 AMFound out my dad has Alzheimer's yesterday.

My heart goes out to you, your family and your dad. Mine has a variation of the same diagnosis and sometimes he can't remember who family members are either. One thing you'll come across is that at some point your dad won't be able to remember he can't remember things that happened five minutes ago, which has caused some genuinely funny moments between my parents but can be frustrating. Yet dad can remember events that happened long in the past with great clarity, so it's often easier and less discomforting for him to talk about shared memories from the past. When things like this present, it is often a shock, because they will have been finding ways to work around it for a long time before anyone else knows, so when disclosure happens, it can make it look as if they've suddenly got worse, when they haven't really. If you know what I mean?

Quote from: NikkiM on October 05, 2024, 10:11:50 AMGoing to pull his driver's license as well,

That's very sensible - don't forget he may not remember he doesn't have a license any more, depending on how well his memory is working or not. My mother had to hide the keys at one time because dad would get into the car, go get something he wanted, arrive at a shop and find he couldn't remember what he'd gone into it for. This without a license and consequently no insurance.

Quote from: NikkiM on October 05, 2024, 09:48:29 AMFound out my dad has Alzheimer's yesterday. I saw something was not right and mom saw it too. He could not remember my name at times and had to remind him. Did hit my mom being verbally abuse twice and this has never happened at all before. Did get it checked out yesterday and specialist said he has Alzheimer's. He is 73 years old and no spring chicken. He is on medication for it and going to be there for him spending time with him. My brothers are going to spend time with him as well including my nieces and nephews. He knows we are going to be there for him.

That is not good news for having the disease.  It is not a good situation for him or family.
You all have my sympathy.  Yes do spend lots of time with him.

Best to you all,


Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2024, 11:48:00 AMThat is not good news for having the disease.  It is not a good situation for him or family.
You all have my sympathy.  Yes do spend lots of time with him.

Best to you all,


Chrissy

It has been tough for us as well. He has good friends that will get him around which is a great help

Quote from: NikkiM on October 05, 2024, 12:03:50 PMIt has been tough for us as well. He has good friends that will get him around which is a great help

It is good to have support.

I believe there are seven stages of that awful disease. 

Chrissy

Quote from: TanyaG on October 05, 2024, 10:41:04 AMThat's very sensible - don't forget he may not remember he doesn't have a license any more, depending on how well his memory is working or not. My mother had to hide the keys at one time because dad would get into the car, go get something he wanted, arrive at a shop and find he couldn't remember what he'd gone into it for. This without a license and consequently no insurance.

Going to do it on Monday and pull the insurance on his truck

You might want some coverage on his truck.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2024, 01:41:43 PMYou might want some coverage on his truck.

The plate on it expires on Wednesday

If someone steals it and hurts someone I do not know what liability is for him. 
Or if an uninsured driver plows into it, or if it catches on fire, all this before it is sold or given away. 

If he is not the only driver for the vehicle, I suppose you could drop him from the policy.

Consider consulting your insurance agent for advice before dropping any coverage.  It seems to be a wise thing to do.

Don't forget it depends where your dad is in the progression of Alzheimers, Nikki. If the specialist thinks he isn't fit to hold a driving license, then that's one thing, and if he's forgetting the names of his children, that's another. In general, people don't usually begin to lose names of close family until they are some way along.

For example, my dad is perfectly fine taking most decisions for himself and needs no help at all, but like many people his memory loss is patchy and some days he is better than others (he has vascular dementia, so the decline is slow).

Dad can remember the name of our daughter, who he seldom sees because of geography, but he can't remember he has a dental appointment, or even a story he told two minutes ago. He still thrives on being asked advice because he likes to help, so we ask him questions even if we know the answers because it helps with his mood and self-respect and how he sees his position in the family. There are practical things you can do for him like get some fridge magnets that show the date clearly and putting up lists of phone numbers, but it sounds like your mom will have a handle on that.

If you can play into your dad's strengths and preserved function, there's a lot you can do to ease his frustration, but also much more you can do to help your mom, who has to live with him 24/7. She's the one who will take most of the stress.

Chrissy has a good point about keeping the insurance on in case of theft, but it sounds as if you are thinking of selling the truck, so it needn't be arranged for long.   

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2024, 02:29:23 PMIf someone steals it and hurts someone I do not know what liability is for him. 
Or if an uninsured driver plows into it, or if it catches on fire, all this before it is sold or given away. 

If he is not the only driver for the vehicle, I suppose you could drop him from the policy.

Consider consulting your insurance agent for advice before dropping any coverage.  It seems to be a wise thing to do.

Truck and the insurance is in mom's name

Quote from: TanyaG on October 05, 2024, 03:07:12 PMDon't forget it depends where your dad is in the progression of Alzheimers, Nikki. If the specialist thinks he isn't fit to hold a driving license, then that's one thing, and if he's forgetting the names of his children, that's another. In general, people don't usually begin to lose names of close family until they are some way along.

For example, my dad is perfectly fine taking most decisions for himself and needs no help at all, but like many people his memory loss is patchy and some days he is better than others (he has vascular dementia, so the decline is slow).

Dad can remember the name of our daughter, who he seldom sees because of geography, but he can't remember he has a dental appointment, or even a story he told two minutes ago. He still thrives on being asked advice because he likes to help, so we ask him questions even if we know the answers because it helps with his mood and self-respect and how he sees his position in the family. There are practical things you can do for him like get some fridge magnets that show the date clearly and putting up lists of phone numbers, but it sounds like your mom will have a handle on that.

If you can play into your dad's strengths and preserved function, there's a lot you can do to ease his frustration, but also much more you can do to help your mom, who has to live with him 24/7. She's the one who will take most of the stress.

Chrissy has a good point about keeping the insurance on in case of theft, but it sounds as if you are thinking of selling the truck, so it needn't be arranged for long.   

He has forgotten where he was once driving by himself.My oldest brother found him in the parking lot of a Dollar General

Quote from: NikkiM on October 05, 2024, 04:47:37 PMHe has forgotten where he was once driving by himself.My (https://himself.my/) oldest brother found him in the parking lot of a Dollar General

He's where my dad is then. It's worth talking to your mother when he's not around to find out what other areas of life he's struggling with, because if the family don't know, it can catch people out. With my father lots of diplomacy was needed so that we didn't appear to be removing his autonomy and degrading his position in the family, but we somehow managed to navigate that! You have every bit of encouragement I have to give.