Susan's Place Transgender Resources

At what age do you believe you started your gender transition?

Note that your definition of "gender transition" may differ from others but this is not a research question or a scientific poll so there is some leeway given here.  People also enter school at different ages. People may start puberty at different ages.

Regardless of when you started, if you have started, looking back, when would you have preferred to have started transitioning, if it were possible to have done so safely in your society?

Why? 

62.

I wish I had started much, much earlier.  In my teens, maybe.  Twenties would have been okay.  Thirties would have worked.  Anything younger than 60s, really.  But it is what it is.  I am just glad it is done and I am here to enjoy the results.

I am just starting now, and I will be turning 62 next year. I wish there were more resources available 30 years ago. Hopefully I can learn enough, get enough support, and accept enough to become my true self in the new year.

First concrete step was at 39 when I started seeing gender therapist...

I had been looking up information on it for several years before but was to afraid to actually do anything...

Even then I took it slow because of fear and went full time at 42..

- karen

32 though I planned  to  do  it  at 22 but got cold feet. 

I started therapy while I was 28 and went full time when I was 29.

I was 54 when I started, but it seems a lifetime ago.

Love always -- Jess

Hi Everyone

If I consider the years between Dec 1987 and Feb 1989, my feelings and desire to become female were becoming stronger.  I would have been 28 and 29 when I ventured out as Sarah for the first and second times in Dec 1987 and Dec 1988, respectively.  However, these were only brief moments, and I initially considered the ages of 20 to 29.

In Feb 1989, I drove to Sydney as Sarah and by mid-Feb 1989, I had legally changed my name.  By that stage, I was 30.  Two years later, in Feb 1991, I had surgery.  In both cases, my age was 30 and 32, respectively.

Ultimately, I settled on the ages of 30 to 39 as the time when I changed my life around.

In hindsight given and what I found out when I visited Susan's in 2010, I have always been a female and hence my gender has never changed.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

I was 36. Nearly 7 years later, the only regret I have is that I was so overly afraid of so many things initially. Things turned out better than I dreamed was possible. I had such a pessimistic attitude going into it. I really was convinced that things would only get worse, not better.

It's only these last years than TG became more accepted by a bigger part of society. In my twenties, it was still a subject of curiosity and sensationalism in the media ("Male doctor became Female one, the weird story of Ingrid" kind of show), or a subject for good laughs. I secretly was reading books of "pioneers" having transitioned, and from their experiences, it seemed so hard. The only options to earn a living seemed to me to become a transformist show girl or a prostitute, and it wasn't really motivating me. I don't know if having 20's today I would transition, but I wish everyday I would have done it at that age, to have a full life as a woman (it seems to be than being in my fifties years today, I won't have all the options in clothings and shoes, aso... a 20's years girl have. So 20's, 30's, still fresh and pretty, would have be the right time. Saying this, I would probably being a chicken to become a chick as I do today...

I was 60 when I received my diagnosis, but I didn't start transitioning until two years later. I am not one to act recklessly, so I needed to learn as much as possible before deciding what to do. At 62 I started hormones and went full-time a few months later.

Knowing what I know now, I would have done when in high school. But I didn't know I was trans and I certainly had no means to get it done. My employment career would have been drastically different and much more focused on acquiring wealth so that I could afford it.

I started taking Spironolactone when I was close to 18 and finished with high school. I started Estrogen months later. I was 18 1/2 at that time.

I guess I would've started Spiro a year before I did and then introduced Estrogen months later when I was still 17. At 6' I am tall and broad for a woman. If I started a year earlier than maybe I wouldn't be as much.

I thought about it for decades, but really started in my 50's

Ellen

I dabled with wearing skirts and such in my 50's, but did not consider that I might be trans until I was 60.  Started hormones at age 62, fully transitioned at age 63.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 25, 2024, 03:49:41 PMAt what age do you believe you started your gender transition?

This is kind of a tough question to answer and a big part of it, for me, relies on hindsight.

For me, I think it was very clearly when I was eight years old. I didn't know what it was at the time, and that's why this is kind of hard to answer. But looking back... it was at the time in my life where I felt wrong. And didn't know why I felt wrong.

You have to understand I was the oldest kid of three. And the other two were boys. And our dad ran out on us for someone else when I was six. My youngest brother was two. That's probably too much information, but there is a point to this. I was supposed to be the "guy" my brothers looked up to. The one who protected them and kept them out of trouble. But that... didn't work out entirely that way. I was always reclusive. They were extremely extrovert. Always getting into trouble for the sake of it. My youngest brother, especially. He was literally like Bart Simpson and drove my mother mad.

I saved his life once, because he thought it would be a fantastic idea to show off to the girls, and go swim in a lake fully clothed, in the middle of one summer. That ended about as well as you'd expect. I was chatting to the sister of a guy who'd been with us that day, and everyone came running up to me shouting and pointing at the lake... where my brother was looking like someone who'd just jumped off the Titanic. He was about 1/3 of the way out, but clearly couldn't swim nearly as well as he thought, especially fully clothed. So I raced down there, swam out, and dragged him back to the shore. Despite almost getting drowned several times by his terrified clingyness.

The point is, my brothers weren't like me. And around eight years old, I became very withdrawn. I retreated into books. Particularly my grandma's books. She had a massive collection. Hardbacks from the 50s and 60s. Fantasy, kids books of the era, you know the kind. I got fascinated with the heroines in those books. The worlds where you could live through someone else. Be stronger than you were. But they sparked something in me. I identified with some characters more than others. Wanted to see how some characters' stories ended more than others. I felt more at home reading of princesses, amazons, even schoolkids... but always the girls.

That, for me, was the start of my gender transition. Because it was the first spark of affinity and acceptance and feeling like I belonged somewhere. Whatever happened after, that was where it started. By sneaking into the attic, staying up late, reading dusty books like the protagonist in "Neverending Story" lol. :)

I know that's probably not quite what you were looking for. But I think transition is more a shift in mind, rather than a shift in body.

Sorry for the double post but I want to add something else that I think is very important. I've spoken to a lot of people who've decided to physically transition later in life. And in all these conversations, I think there was something in them that's been there for decades. Often a whisper that's been drowned out by the hurricane of life. I am firmly of the belief that people feel who they are long before they know who they are. But the weight of the world on your shoulders can get in the way. And it sometimes isn't until you can allow yourself to hear that whisper, that you realise how important it is. That doesn't mean it hasn't always been there.

Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2024, 05:44:11 PMSorry for the double post but I want to add something else that I think is very important. I've spoken to a lot of people who've decided to physically transition later in life. And in all these conversations, I think there was something in them that's been there for decades. Often a whisper that's been drowned out by the hurricane of life. I am firmly of the belief that people feel who they are long before they know who they are. But the weight of the world on your shoulders can get in the way. And it sometimes isn't until you can allow yourself to hear that whisper, that you realise how important it is. That doesn't mean it hasn't always been there.

This is certainly true in my life.  With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I see so much in my past that tells me now that I have always been trans and have always been who I now know I am. 

My first thoughts that I can remember of wanting to be a girl were at age seven.  In my daydreams, I was always a girl.  I learned pretty quickly not to talk about stuff like that.  The earliest that I can remember feeling (what I now identify as) gender dysphoria was at age 18.  My mother gave me an electric shaver for my birthday, and I was shocked and horrified that I would have to shave my face.  It had never occurred to me that I would grow facial hair.  It just wasn't right!  It was a revelation when I realized, in my 60s, that there was a name for that feeling.

I am constantly getting reminders like that.  A memory that suddenly makes sense of an experience from long ago.  I had another one yesterday.  Someone posted a link to an old favourite song.  And it occurred to me that the reason I instantly loved that song way back then was because it spoke to my female self.

My understanding was squelched, denied, prohibited, drowned; call it what you will.  But I was then who I am now, even though I didn't know it.

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 26, 2024, 06:57:48 PMIt had never occurred to me that I would grow facial hair.  It just wasn't right!  It was a revelation when I realized, in my 60s, that there was a name for that feeling.

I remember being at a public pool and when I got out I saw black hairs on my wet legs. I was horrified! A couple of years later, a lawn mower picked up a nail that hit me in my ankle and lodged in my Achilles tendon. I had to have surgery to remove it, so they shaved my leg from the knee down.

My mother said that I would have one leg grow hair thicker than the other, so I shaved them both so they would be the same. I loved how they looked and felt so soft and smooth. My younger brothers teased me and called me "Fairy Legs" until it grew back. I'll never forget how I felt seeing the hair on my legs, and then the contrast of pleasure when they were shaved.

I had no idea why I preferred it. It just felt right.

Looking back, I started to realize something was different about me after puberty. I wasn't developing like the other boys, and my sisters and aunts on my mother's side often complimented my curvy figure, comparing it to that of a woman. Even other men, including my father, seemed to notice and comment on it.

Identifying with a different gender, I suppose that began in my early thirties when I started cross-dressing. At the time, I didn't fully understand what it meant. I would try on my ex's clothes when I was home alone, experimenting with her perfume and makeup. It all felt so natural. Back then, I thought it was just that, but it was so much more than that.

I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to my transition in my early forties.

As for surgeries, that's a part of the journey I'm still navigating.

Would I have started earlier if I knew then what I know now, and if it had been safe to do so? Yes, without hesitation.

I am one who questions the terms and definitions, and I cannot pin down a date.

My gender identity has always been incongruent with my birth sex. Opportunity prevented me from aligning my appearance with my gender, but mentally, I never changed. As I grew I figured out more about what and why, and when opportunity presented, I sought to do affirming things. Not all of these were physical, some were imagining myself in my identified role, some were adopting the actions consistent with my ID.

I never completely finished my birth sex puberty. In my 40's my testosterone started to reduce and I had the opportunity to spend all my time at home presenting congruently to ease the pressure of dysphoria, and in my 50's I was diagnosed with hypogonadism, which explained my genitals shrinking. By my 60's, my doctor told me my body was transitioning on its own, and I had to start on hormones of either sex to maintain health.

Opportunity was still against me so I resisted until my health declined. I started Estradiol at 65 to regain my health, and a year later, made small changes to my wardrobe to ease public confusion. I was 'full time', but I hadn't really changed my life. I was still doing everything I was doing before, and my beliefs, values and attitudes were all the same. I never transitioned from the person I have always been, simply altered my appearance for the acceptance of others.

My hormone levels have changed, but some of that happened naturally. My body has changed little, my hair is slightly shorter than it has been all of this century. So I can't say there was a point of transition, as I am basically the same person.

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: Sephirah on December 26, 2024, 05:44:11 PMI've spoken to a lot of people who've decided to physically transition later in life. And in all these conversations, I think there was something in them that's been there for decades.

Certainly true for me.  I remember thinking back when I was 6 or 7 that the whole "boys are this, girls are that" thing was idiotic, and I had no desire to be what boys were supposed to be.  I was forced to do some of it, but I hated it.  Locker rooms felt like hell.  Summer camp (boys only) might have been fun, if there hadn't been all those boyish boys and the pressure to be properly boyish.

On the other hand, the idea of being turned into a girl terrified me.  I could only imagine that I would be cast out of the human race and  treated as some sort of monster or pariah and that dying would be my only escape.  It wasn't the being a girl that was horrible, it was how society would treat me.  It wasn't until I started reading blogs by trans women that I could imagine transitioning myself.  Once I saw that it was possible to transition and survive, I kind of knew I was going to.  Transitioning was like being freed from some dank dark dungeon cell.

I started at the age 21, went full time in the same year.

I do regret I never discovered my female self, earlier, I would loved to be a teenage girl

I wish that I was raised as a girl.