Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What are some of the things you can do or experience now that you could not do or experience before transitioning?

I am not talking about using locker or bathroom facilities of your gender, but things you enjoy (or dislike if you wish to discuss those)?


Enjoyable thing example:  Having a door held open for you.

Example of something you may dislike:  Having to deal with "mansplaining."

Does playing with my boobs count?  :laugh:

Buying clothes that fit perfectly without alteration!

I've bought stuff on Revolve.com that look better on me than they did on the model.  ;D

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 23, 2025, 04:40:31 PMDoes playing with my boobs count?  :laugh:

There is no rule that I could find that disallows that. LOL

Quote from: Maid Marion on January 23, 2025, 04:45:37 PMBuying clothes that fit perfectly without alteration!

I've bought stuff on Revolve.com that look better on me than they did on the model.  ;D

That is great you can pull off that better look Marion!

Chrissy

Something I like, well been able to wear any item of female clothing and not having to worry, whether there is room to tuck or will my hip pads or breasts forms show.

also I love been treated like a lady by my husband, when he opens the car door for me, or when he holds me when we cuddle up in front the TV. Also, i love been a mother and a wife.

Dislikes. -- well on hot days, when you sweat under breasts and sometimes I do miss been able to walk without a top on in public,,, often on very hot summers day, i walk around the house in a cute pair of shorts and a  bikini top. Walking topless at home is a no no, as I have 3 small children..

Making the most of my body, flirting, playing around with my hair, learning what makes a guy tick and then having fun!!! Pet dislikes, concersending men, dominant men, over sexed men, getting up in the morning and trying to work out what to wear for the day ahead, realise something that I wanted to wear was in the washing machine!!! Being around bitchy women

Today, I went online with my daughter and we picked out two dresses for me. It was such a rush and I believe she had fun protecting me from my awful sense of style. It was the kind of good thing I never imagined happening. The hardest part about trying to be who I am: the person I used to be keeps getting in my way.

Although I've only socially transitioned in a small way, I've found I throughly enjoy shopping, and buying girly things. I'm in Ulta, and bath and body once a week buying stuff. Wearing makeup is one thing I love doing, even though it's taken me a ton of experimenting to find what I like. I'm growing out my hair, and I love having my hair long. I'm so close to being able have enough hair to put it in a ponytail. Taking care of my skin, getting a pedicure with nail polish, and getting my eyebrows done.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 05, 2025, 04:37:36 PMThe hardest part about trying to be who I am: the person I used to be keeps getting in my way.

This was a huge issue for me when I first started experimenting with being feminine.
I spent half my life suppressing my desire to be feminine. Once my egg cracked, and started talking to my therapist, and a ton of nurturing, my inner woman starting showing up.

Quote from: Maid Marion on January 23, 2025, 04:45:37 PMBuying clothes that fit perfectly without alteration!

I've bought stuff on Revolve.com that look better on me than they did on the model.  ;D

I looked at their prices,  how do you afford them?     Shoulder bags for 11,000.00  ( eleven thousand) dollars and more LOL

Quote from: Alana1990 on April 06, 2025, 09:09:44 PMAlthough I've only socially transitioned in a small way, I've found I throughly enjoy shopping, and buying girly things. I'm in Ulta, and bath and body once a week buying stuff. Wearing makeup is one thing I love doing, even though it's taken me a ton of experimenting to find what I like. I'm growing out my hair, and I love having my hair long. I'm so close to being able have enough hair to put it in a ponytail. Taking care of my skin, getting a pedicure with nail polish, and getting my eyebrows done.

Dang! that sounds like fun and even more if I had a like person to go with me.

Quote from: she she on April 21, 2025, 03:24:01 PMI looked at their prices,  how do you afford them?     Shoulder bags for 11,000.00  ( eleven thousand) dollars and more LOL

I do a sort by size (XS) and price to find stuff I can afford.

Quote from: she she on April 21, 2025, 03:26:39 PMDang! that sounds like fun and even more if I had a like person to go with me.

My cousin and I have gotten mani/pedis a few times. She was the one that suggested I try nail polish on my toenails, which I loved. My toenails are painted 24/7 now. She's suggested makeup, and perfume I should try too. 😀

I keep my toes done.  I go with my wife.  Colors are fun!
I've done acrylic finger nails too, but they weaken the nails and its a b.... to have the patience to grow them out again.  They'll take layers off the nail.  Gel isn't so harsh but lasts a long time on toes, but not so much on fingers.

I can wear a dress at the office if I choose to do so.

In prior office settings it was not always good to present fully feminine.
Many thought that "I wanted to be a woman" but that desire seemed unnatural to many.

As I am a woman I should be able to wear the appropriate clothes for the setting.
Now I can.  I can go shop or eat too and do not get unfavorable treatment very often nowadays.

Not sure if that is because of my femininity or because they do not care at all who buys!


Chrissy

Quote from: D'Amalie on April 22, 2025, 10:44:39 AMI keep my toes done.  I go with my wife.  Colors are fun!
I've done acrylic finger nails too, but they weaken the nails and its a b.... to have the patience to grow them out again.  They'll take layers off the nail.  Gel isn't so harsh but lasts a long time on toes, but not so much on fingers.

My cousin took me to get a pedicure, and I joked with her I should try nail polish. She told me to go for it, and that I would like it. I absolutely loved it, and keep my toenails polished all the time. I just got a pedicure last Saturday with my favorite color

There's some stuff that I enjoy that I always have like pampering myself. I love refreshing showers with soap that makes your skin soft. Dove and Olay are my favorites.

I guess the things I don't like are unfair expectations. It seems like as a man you could pretty much get away with not caring about how you look and no one will care. As a woman you are almost shamed for not having your hair done or your makeup for example.

This isn't to say that all men don't care and all women care about their looks. It's just that it's a different experience and the bar could be set too high.

I went to get my brows waxed for a better look.

I would not want a Brazilian or Hollywood wax though. 

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on July 18, 2025, 08:47:05 PMI went to get my brows waxed for a better look.

I get my brows waxed every 5 weeks. I get my underarms waxed when I get my brows done. I ask my eyebrow lady to make my brows a bit more arched, and feminine, and she hits them out of the park.

Quote from: Dances With Trees on April 05, 2025, 04:37:36 PMToday, I went online with my daughter and we picked out two dresses for me. It was such a rush and I believe she had fun protecting me from my awful sense of style. It was the kind of good thing I never imagined happening. The hardest part about trying to be who I am: the person I used to be keeps getting in my way.

Oh my gosh what I would give for that experience. I know my daughter would have VERY strong opinions about what I should and shouldn't wear.  😀
I'm not out to anyone but my therapist yet, so I guess that's something to look forward to. 💕

A CIS female friend or a further transitioned lady that has a sense of style can be helpful when clothes shopping.  If at a store, they can advise you if the outfit you desire is right for you, or if you should not buy it.

I really enjoy visiting my hair stylist and talk and have her get my hair just right.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on July 18, 2025, 08:47:05 PMI would not want a Brazilian or Hollywood wax though. 

I waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone 🙂 Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

Quote from: D'Amalie on August 05, 2025, 09:14:51 AMI waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone 🙂 Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

Agreed.  The nice, smooth feel is attractive.  For myself, I take care of that at home.

For my sweetie, she is amazingly soft and smooth.  Very nice. 



Chrissy

Quote from: D'Amalie on August 05, 2025, 09:14:51 AMI waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone 🙂 Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

I've been waxing for 2.5 years. I was waxing my entire body at one point, but had to stop due to how much it was costing me. It was so worth it to feel silky smooth for a few weeks. I just do my underarms, eyebrows, and bikini area now. I really miss having silky smooth legs. Hrt has helped with cutting down hair growth. When I get waxed, the hair is very sparse now.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 23, 2025, 04:33:21 PMWhat are some of the things you can do or experience now that you could not do or experience before transitioning?

I am not talking about using locker or bathroom facilities of your gender, but things you enjoy (or dislike if you wish to discuss those)?


Enjoyable thing example:  Having a door held open for you.

Example of something you may dislike:  Having to deal with "mansplaining."

I've decided to decline the limits you put on this thread for reasons below Chrissy.

One of the most important things to me is being able to use the Ladies.

I was violently sexually abused as a boy ... by a man.

Using the Ladies matters now more than anything to me. Surrounded by women. Girly chat. No men allowed. Touching up my lippy. Bliss. It's my Safe Space.

xx

Quote from: Tills on August 05, 2025, 10:49:30 PMI've decided to decline the limits you put on this thread for reasons below Chrissy.

One of the most important things to me is being able to use the Ladies.

I was violently sexually abused as a boy ... by a man.

Using the Ladies matters now more than anything to me. Surrounded by women. Girly chat. No men allowed. Touching up my lippy. Bliss. It's my Safe Space.

xx

That is because one can often take for granted that as a woman, you can use these ladies' facilities, or should be able to do so.  Those reasons you state (for using the ladies') are so true. 

Hi Everyone

These are my answers to, "Some things you can do you could not do or experience before transitioning"

Things I Could Not Do Before

• Receiving female courtesies like having doors held open was not something I experienced.
• Being referred to with correct pronouns in social settings was not something I noticed or experienced.
• Wearing even basic nail polish was avoided.
• Wearing earrings was not something I was able to do.
• Wearing perfume or scented products freely was not something I felt I could do without judgment.
• I was not able to express myself freely or without restriction.
• Beauty treatments like eyelash tinting and eyebrow waxing were out of reach.
• Styling long hair in ways like; plaits, braids, buns, french rolls and other feminine styles was not possible.
• Carrying a handbag or purse openly was something I avoided out of fear of judgment or mockery.
• Wearing the full range of female clothes I wanted such as swimming costumes, skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes and similar articles was not something I could do.
• Being addressed by the proper title such as Ms, Miss or Ma'am did not happen.
• Using the proper toilet and locker room facilities was not possible.
• Participating in conversations or spaces meant for women including female-only gatherings was off limits.
• Being intimate with a partner in a way that felt right for me was not something I experienced.

Things I Could Do After I Changed My Life Around

• Female courtesies like having doors held open became common.
• I became aware of the correct pronouns used for me in social settings.
• Nail polish became a regular part of my appearance whenever I felt like it.
• Wearing earrings for the right occasion became part of my presentation.
• Wearing perfume or scented products became something I could do with confidence.
• Expressing myself without limitations became normal.
• Enjoying beauty treatments such as eyelash tinting and eyebrow waxing became part of my routine.
• Styling long hair however I liked became a normal part of daily life.
• Carrying a handbag or purse confidently became part of everyday life.
• Wearing any female clothing I wanted felt natural and unrestricted.
• Being addressed using the correct title felt affirming and respectful.  This was a very poignant one for me. It's Ms!
• Using the proper toilet and locker room facilities was finally a reality.
• Participating in female-only spaces and conversations felt natural and welcome.
• I was able to be intimate with my partner in a way that felt natural and emotionally complete.

The Reverse of the Above or Odd Ones Out

• Going topless was something I could do before but now I feel very concerned and conscious about it.
• Perspiration did not change in any noticeable way before or after.

.
I guess that seems to be the extent of the changes that occurred in my life.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

I couldn't go topless to the beach before social transition but I think I'd be comfortable wearing a two piece bikini if I were with some friends doing the same thing.

Before transition I'd routinely hold the door for female coworkers.  After they would hold the door for me.  There may be a message in that.

I wore a one piece swimsuit covering my top for the first time last year.

A swim skirt contributed to my comforting as well as understanding people.


Chrissy

There was so many feminine things I was doing before I started transitioning, that are just normal things for me to do now. I don't think about them anymore: My morning and evening skin care, putting scented lotion on throughout the day, touching up my perfume halfway through the day, putting on a bit of makeup, etc.

Quote from: Alana Ashleigh on August 05, 2025, 03:20:07 PMI've been waxing for 2.5 years. I was waxing my entire body at one point, but had to stop due to how much it was costing me. It was so worth it to feel silky smooth for a few weeks. I just do my underarms, eyebrows, and bikini area now. I really miss having silky smooth legs. Hrt has helped with cutting down hair growth. When I get waxed, the hair is very sparse now.

The answer my friend is ... Moisturize, Moisturize Moisturize...

Quote from: D'Amalie on August 07, 2025, 07:04:43 AMThe answer my friend is ... Moisturize, Moisturize Moisturize...

I will second that suggestion!

Chrissy

Hi,

I don't have to hide my boob's anymore!  ;D


~ Lilis 🌷

Quote from: Lilis on August 07, 2025, 03:30:03 PMHi,

I don't have to hide my boob's anymore!  ;D


~ Lilis 🌷

Oh yes!  I very much enjoy having them. 

I admit to trying to emphasize them on some days by what I wear.

It took a while for me to me to try a push-up bra to give them more prominence as I still have a preference for not using hip pads, breast inserts, etc. 

I certainly do not want to hide them although they are relatively small.  But they are what they are!  Most days I do not wear a push-up.

Chrissy

Although I'm publicly closeted, I still have daily experiences that affirm my gender.

Things I enjoy doing now:

Looking at myself in the mirror and actually liking my body

Brushing my long hair away from my face with my fingers

Choosing a bra to wear pretty much every day (I can't use the padded/pushup ones until sweatshirt season!)

Involuntarily putting my arm over my boobs when I go to run across a parking lot in order to cut down on the soreness (I'm a full 36C)

Looking down as my hairless thighs, chest and belly and reduced hair on my arms (thanks, HRT!)

Getting to talk about feminine things and feelings with women I know, both cis and trans

Being able to cry very easily and for a brief period. It can hurt but is often a source of relief

These things I cannot do:

Wear a tee shirt without making sure it's loose and I have a compression top on

Go swimming as a "man" - I never wanted to expose my body before transitioning, so this is no great loss, but I've only been swimming once so far as myself

Lift heavy things - I've lost a lot of strength

Get out of bed and head out the door without figuring out what I'm going to do with my hair