Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The world has forced my detransition

I'm 32 almost 33 and my transition failed due to socioeconomic reasons. While I am still legally F and have a legally feminine name I'm as close to being as detransitioned as you can get. Not that I wanted that. This is sad for me as I loved being a trans woman but it was all rigged against me.

I experienced my first job loss at 26 in large part because I was trans. It was the only job of my life I worked at related to my degree (Art History). Jobs in that field are hard to get. After that I was forced to move from Los Angeles to Houston, Texas (ughhhhh) because my family demanded I get psychiatric "help." After I got out I was stuck in Texas and unable to find any work. I ultimately took a job at Walmart but quit after three months and bounced around couches homeless until my friends were sick of me and I was forced to return to my home state of Iowa.

Due to the pandemic stimulus payments I accrued some money, along with working part time at the Census, like 10k. In January 2021 I moved to San Francisco to find trans friendly employment. I was 29.

Due to the gaps in my work history I had to accept a data entry temp job that converted to full time. Due to higher California minimum wage I was making $22, more than I ever had in my life. However after more than a year the job ultimately didn't work out. My coworkers didn't like me for being standoffish and introverted (they were basic bitches lol) and I was overly complacent in the job and avoided stuff that made me uncomfortable like answering phones. I was forced to resign without a job lined up in June 2022.

I filed for unemployment, but had an ego about me at this time. If I could get a $22-24 job so easily couldn't I again? Instead of looking for an office job I should have been looking for any labor job, like maybe dishwashing or something. I had done that job before and didn't mind it.

My job search didn't really pan out due to the fact my subsequent office roles were even more unstable, toxic, and temp. So by spring 2023 I was hurting for money and my unemployment was running out. My family was basically demanding I return "home" to Iowa. I really didn't want to do so so I purchased fentanyl off the streets with the intent to end my life since it was clear to me my happy times were over.

Unfortunately I lost my nerve, and on the next day after purchasing my suicide weapon my uncle flew in from Iowa to drive me back "home".  I feel like had that not happened I would be at peace right now rather than the living death I'm in right now. I roll around in bed at night wishing I wouldn't have delayed ending my life.

My life has been a nightmare since. As you can imagine with a resume like mine I'm unemployable except for minimum wage retail. And that's a problem in Iowa. Knowing I'm back at square one is overwhelming. Knowing I am in a conservative red state while also being trans is even worse.

I have basically let myself slide into further mental illness and my gap is so big now I have no chance to reenter the workforce. This has forced me to detransition. I stopped seeing my psychiatrist because he kept demanding I look for a low wage job. And now I'm going to have to stop seeing the doctor who prescribes me HRT because he demands I see that psychiatrist.

The trans women I know live in liberal meccas, have great careers funding their FFS, etc. I can never have that life. For people like me the dream of transition is rigged against us, and it's impossible.

I had several happy times and moments as a trans woman , but that is over now. And all that's left is pain.

I also want to add I have wanted to transition since my teenage years and even came out to my mother in 2008 for the first time. But when I moved to California the first time in 2015-2016 and finally had access to HRT (there was no informed consent or affordable ways to transition in Iowa back then) my employment in Los Angeles wasn't accepting even though it was a great job. That just goes to show no matter what I do I am knocked back to square one and forced to start everything over. Even more tragically I looked cute and decently passable as a trans woman. Now I look like a fat, mentally ill guy with fried hair and mental issues. This just sucks.

I am just looking for a shoulder to lean on and cry right now. I am actually copying and pasting a post here I originally made on ->-bleeped-<- awhile ago before I had to delete my account because I ended up shadowbanned for reasons unknown.

Thanks for reading.

Hello Nostradamus,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for joining the forum and contributing to the discussions.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and share your thoughts and comments. Our members come from all over the world and have a wide range of experiences. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place. Perhaps some of the stories of their experiences can help you too.

As this seems like your Introduction, I will move this post over there. Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html). The link won't change so everything will appear as it does now.

Clicking the HOME button will take you to a page where you can see the various sub-forums. Feel free to comment and share your experiences too.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add some links here that are important for new members. Pay special attention to the links in RED. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and add an avatar to your profile.

Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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@Nostradamus91
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

First of all, thank you for posting.

It is not easy to talk about this stuff. Not even anonymously. You have to look deep inside yourself. And I can relate to a lot of what you're going through. The world can be a very nasty, mean, unfair place. Some people get to live the life they want, where everything is peachy. But probably most don't.

And the thing is, you need an outlet for that. To stop you ending all you can be. You need to scream into the darkness, even if you're not sure anyone is listening.

It took a lot to make this post. I understand that more than you probably realise. And... it's okay to get it out. We don't judge here. We don't have some ruleset that says you have to do this or that. Honey, you will figure this out, in time. What you want, what you can do, what's best for you. And that's okay. Susan's is not here to judge, or blame. Only offer a safe space, okay?

The only thing I will say is... don't lose hope, okay? Worlds change, people change, and it's never too late.

I believe in you. I believe you are more than you think you are. And one day you will see that.

Until then, vent as much as you want, okay? <3

Where should I vent in this forum?

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 05:41:06 PMWhere should I vent?

Here, if you want to.

Throw me a PM if you feel that is too public. It's okay to be angry. Or to not see what your next steps should be.

Quote from: Sephirah on January 29, 2025, 05:46:20 PMHere, if you want to.

Throw me a PM if you feel that is too public. It's okay to be angry. Or to not see what your next steps should be.

I click on your name to PM you but I get blocked.

Can you PM me and we can continue?

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 05:41:06 PMWhere should I vent in this forum?

  @Nostradamus91
As a member you have access to a variety sub-forum boards that will allow you
to post and discuss various topics...
  Click the following LINK to explore them:               
              Susan's Place Transgender Resources
          https://www.susans.org/index.phphttps://www.susans.org/index.php?action=post;msg=2291978;topic=250039.0#

The one board that I would recommend to you based on your question is:
                  Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning
              https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,487.0.html 

    Susan's Place Transgender Resources
    ► Community Conversation
    ► Transgender talk
    ► Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning

I will be looking for your future postings around the Forum.
Warm Regards, and a big WELCOME to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator      Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 05:53:27 PMI click on your name to PM you but I get blocked.

You need 15 posts, honey. I forgot about that aspect. Keep talking, okay? We do that to prevent people being shady towards the site. If someone sticks around that long, they are probably genuine and not just a Triad mafia bot. :)

Tell me more about yourself. Not just your job. What do you like? What kinds of things make you happy?

@Nostradamus91

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 05:53:27 PMI click on your name to PM you but I get blocked.

Can you PM me and we can continue?

Per the Welcome Message that LoriDee sent to (reply comment #2 on this thread)
she explained in the informational LINKS that she provided
  Pay special attention to the links in RED.
  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and
  add an avatar to your profile.

cc: @Lori Dee

Quote from: Sephirah on January 29, 2025, 05:56:20 PMYou need 15 posts, honey. I forgot about that aspect. Keep talking, okay? We do that to prevent people being shady towards the site. If someone sticks around that long, they are probably genuine and not just a Triad mafia bot. :)

Tell me more about yourself. Not just your job. What do you like? What kinds of things make you happy?

I am so crushed by everything my life is essentially just rotting in bed now. I like listening to music but it gives me no joy anymore. When I was happier I even liked to play music and sing. But not anymore.

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 06:02:51 PMI am so crushed by everything my life is essentially just rotting in bed now. I like listening to music but it gives me no joy anymore. When I was happier I even liked to play music and sing. But not anymore.

I think I would like to listen to your musical creations, honey. From what you've said, I feel like you are worth so, so much more than you think you are. Depression is a real thing, okay? I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was just a kid. I was like 14 years old. I had this old crusty neckbeard doctor literally come round my house, because my mother was terrified because I was skipping school almost all the time. (For all you folks here who think I'm this angel... I'm really not, lol).

You don't have to be perfect to be you, okay? You just have to be you. And let everyone deal with it how they will. :)

Quote from: Sephirah on January 29, 2025, 06:14:58 PMI think I would like to listen to your musical creations, honey. From what you've said, I feel like you are worth so, so much more than you think you are. Depression is a real thing, okay? I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was just a kid. I was like 14 years old. I had this old crusty neckbeard doctor literally come round my house, because my mother was terrified because I was skipping school almost all the time. (For all you folks here who think I'm this angel... I'm really not, lol).

You don't have to be perfect to be you, okay? You just have to be you. And let everyone deal with it how they will. :)

Well I'm definitely "depressed." But I always have been. But I think I'm actually in some sort of state of long term nervous breakdown. It sucks.

Faced with:

Detransition, which I didn't want

Being forced back to my conservative home state where I know no one and have no opportunities for engagement, excitement, or catharsis

Likely being stuck in this situation for a long time or forever, due to my gravely reduced employment prospects (I'm probably permanently unemployable)

Stuck living with my toxic and controlling mom who invalidates, mocks, and demeans me.

All I can do in this situation is lie in bed and try to relax as I'm faced with constant overwhelming stress and emotional anguish. The only time I leave my room is for the occasional cigarette. It sucks.

@Nostradamus91

I would like to suggest that you continue your conversation, postings, and sharing of your thoughts
on the following sub-Forum board.  You can start your own Topic and Thread there. 
I would also suggest that you read many of the other members threads on that board...
...you may find useful information that will help you to deal with the issues that you have been
sharing and discussing.

                                Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning
  click Link ---> https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,487.0.html 

My warm regards and my best wishes go out to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator    Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

          cc: @Lori Dee  @Sephirah

Hi Nostradamus

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

First, I want to thank you for sharing your story.  It takes a lot of strength to open up about everything you have been through and I want you to know that your experiences are heard and appreciated.  I can see how much you have fought to build a life for yourself, only to be met with setback after setback.  That is incredibly frustrating and I understand why you feel overwhelmed.  You are looking for support and I want to offer a perspective that may help you move forward.

I was in a similar situation once.  There was a downturn in my industry as a draftsperson and I found myself without a stable place to live.  I was on the street for a day before I got into a women's refuge.  That gave me shelter, food, and clothing, which were the most essential things I needed at the time.  I was not detransitioning, but I did have to rebuild my life from nothing.

I stayed in the refuge for a year and used that time to enroll in an office administration course.  It was not my dream career, but it was the fastest way to get stable work. By the end of the year, I secured public housing and found a job.  No one knew about my past. I was 33 years old when I started over and it worked.

Another member here also faced a difficult time like this. She was struggling financially and took on multiple jobs to survive.  It was not easy, but she made it through.  Her experience shows that even in the worst situations, there are ways to regain stability.  It may not feel like it now, but you still have options.

Here is what I believe will help you:

• Secure Shelter and Stability:  If you feel trapped in a toxic home environment, look into shelters or transitional housing programs.  Having a safe place to stay is the foundation for recovery.  If you can move out, even into temporary housing, you will not have to deal with your mother on a daily basis, which could greatly improve your mental well being.
• Take Any Job for Now: I understand that retail feels like a step backward, but right now survival is the priority.  It does not have to be forever, but it will give you financial stability while you plan your next steps.  Many of us have had to take jobs we did not want just to get through difficult times.
• Consider Education or Training:  If you feel stuck, a short course or certification could help you get into a better-paying job.  Community colleges and online courses offer quick, affordable options in fields like office administration, medical billing and IT support.
• Find a Better Psychiatrist if Needed:  Your psychiatrist is right that a job will help with stability, but if you feel unsupported, find a different provider.  Either way, mental health support is essential right now.
• Do Not Let One Doctor Gatekeep Your HRT:  If your doctor is forcing you to see a psychiatrist to continue HRT, look for another provider.  Many informed consent clinics offer telehealth options and you may be able to get a prescription from a provider in another state.
• Keep Your Identity Private When Possible:  You mentioned that you passed well before, so there is no need to disclose your past unless it is necessary for medical reasons.  If people perceive you as female, let them. It will make life easier.
• Detransitioning: Is your choice, but consider the consequences.  It is ultimately up to you whether you decide to detransition.  If you do, please seek a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues to guide you through the process.  However, based on what you have written about yourself, it does not seem like a good choice and would likely lead to more personal struggles.

Gender dysphoria is not something that simply disappears and if you force yourself down a path that does not align with who you are, it could create even more distress in the future.

I know this is overwhelming, but you are not beyond hope.  You are not broken.  You are in a bad situation and bad situations can be changed.  Right now your focus should be on survival, getting stable housing, securing any job and ensuring you keep access to HRT.  Once you have those things, you can start working toward something better.

You are not alone. Keep reaching out. We are here for you.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Nostradamus91

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 29, 2025, 06:36:48 PMWell I'm definitely "depressed." But I always have been. But I think I'm actually in some sort of state of long term nervous breakdown. It sucks.

Faced with:

Detransition, which I didn't want

Being forced back to my conservative home state where I know no one and have no opportunities for engagement, excitement, or catharsis

Likely being stuck in this situation for a long time or forever, due to my gravely reduced employment prospects (I'm probably permanently unemployable)

Stuck living with my toxic and controlling mom who invalidates, mocks, and demeans me.

All I can do in this situation is lie in bed and try to relax as I'm faced with constant overwhelming stress and emotional anguish. The only time I leave my room is for the occasional cigarette. It sucks.

I think you think you are, sweetie. But listen to what people here are telling you. Nothing is hopeless until you lose hope. Read what Sarah has written. She is extremely wise. And her life experience is second to none.

The only time life isn't worth living is when you give up on trying. You're better than that.

I was going to add my two cents worth, but @Sarah B hit the nail on the head. Her advice is solid.

You may not be able to do things all at once. Take time. Plan your course and decide what the next step is. Then the next, and then on to the next. Baby steps.

Any task that seems overwhelming is much easier to accomplish if you break it down into simpler tasks.

We are here for you and wish you much success with your journey.

You came to the best place, hon. Lori and Sarah, they're like the dream team. Listen to these girls. They are like the wise women of the tribe... without all the tattoos and dancing round firelight. Although I have my suspicions they kind of like that, too, lol.

I have a dragon tattoo and I love bonfires.  ;D

Hi Nostradamus

As Sephirah says, maybe me and Lori are wise, but she neglects to mention that she is self-deprecating.

I love bonfires as well but I'm not into tattoos, maybe one day I will have a couple of dolphins on my shoulder blades!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah @Lori Dee

Quote from: Sarah B on January 29, 2025, 11:07:48 PMHi Nostradamus

As Sephirah says, maybe me and Lori are wise, but she neglects to mention that she is self-deprecating.

I love bonfires as well but I'm not into tattoos, maybe one day I will have a couple of dolphins on my shoulder blades!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah @Lori Dee

Nah, girl, you need a dolphin tattoo on your shoulder.

You are both extremely wise, and I am so happy you're here, doing what you do.

Hi Sephirah

Quote from: Sephirah on January 29, 2025, 11:14:20 PMNah, girl, you need a dolphin tattoo on your shoulder.

Then nobody would see it.  :D  ;D  :o  ::)

Hugs
Sarah B
@Sephirah

Quote from: Sarah B on January 29, 2025, 11:27:10 PMHi Sephirah

Then nobody would see it.  :D  ;D  :o  ::)

Hugs
Sarah B
@Sephirah

Apart from those who matter to you. ;) <3

OK ladies. Let's get back on topic please.

(That includes me.  ;D )

Hah, sorry. I should know better. :P

Truth is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That goes for everything you do. If you can be okay with yourself then what anyone else thinks... takes more of a back seat.

Nostradamus,


I feel sorry that you have gone through all of this.

I hope things improve for you.


Chrissy

Thanks Sarah (I'm not quoting you because it's too long). I feel like relocation out of Iowa would be the first step for me.... i've relocated out of state before without a job (that's how I got to California before) but times are different now. I wasn't in a severely depressed long term unemployed state. I will have probably immense difficulty securing an out of state roommate situation

Iowa does not offer the job opportunities, the educational opportunities, support for people going through hard times (cash assistance, shelters, etc), LGBT friendliness, etc for me to even begin thinking about rebuilding my life here in an uphill manner. While more liberal states have better resources the job market is messed up everywhere right now and I'd have trouble breaking in no matter where I go at this point.

While I was cute as a trans woman I think I only passed visually. I never perfected my voice or etiquette and living with my conservative Mom in close quarters means I don't have the space to start with that again. I was very flamboyant with my appearance in San Francisco and there is pressure here, even if you are trans, to not go against the grain and downplay your identity. Me existing in this place means I will have to make many devastating compromises.

Here is an Instagram link to how I looked before when I lived in SF:

https://www.instagram.com/livin4funlife?igsh=MW0zeHZqbzVxMHIxeg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Now I look like a disheveled depressed young confused "guy" who doesn't take care of themselves. And due to constant nervous breakdown my appearance is very difficult to attend to....

Hi Nostradamus,

Have you checked out our Support Groups board?
https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,14.0.html

Granted, there might not be much in Iowa, but maybe one of these support groups could help you get relocated. These are nationwide networks, so working with them locally may provide an opportunity to contact a group in CA or somewhere more friendly. Some may be able to help in getting you settled in and start job hunting. The resources are available. Check them out and see if they can help.

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 30, 2025, 02:46:05 PMHi Nostradamus,

Have you checked out our Support Groups board?
https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,14.0.html

Granted, there might not be much in Iowa, but maybe one of these support groups could help you get relocated. These are nationwide networks, so working with them locally may provide an opportunity to contact a group in CA or somewhere more friendly. Some may be able to help in getting you settled in and start job hunting. The resources are available. Check them out and see if they can help.

Thanks for that. I don't see much activity on the board though.

Look here, this may help.


https://oneiowa.org/resources/hotlines-support/

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 04:57:18 PMLook here, this may help.


https://oneiowa.org/resources/hotlines-support/

Good catch, Chrissy! Thank you.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 04:57:18 PMLook here, this may help.


https://oneiowa.org/resources/hotlines-support/

Thank you, but the trans resources in Iowa are minimal ... I've looked into them and I'm well aware of what little exists here... I really hate this state.... And yes I did the support group several times, couldn't relate to the other members who mocked and dismissed me for being unemployed (most of the members there had the luxury of transitioning after they were already financially secure), I am not going back...

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 30, 2025, 05:26:41 PMWhat would calling a hotline do to improve my situation? Sorry to be blunt.

Also, the trans resources in Iowa are minimal ... I've looked into them... I really hate this state.... And yes I did the support group several times, couldn't relate to the other members who mocked and dismissed me for being unemployed, I am not going back...

The resource list is extensive.  Perhaps as you scroll down the list one you may think one or more might be useful. 

Different groups may be better for any one individual.  You may wish to try another group.

I wish you well being.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 05:39:40 PMThe resource list is extensive.  Perhaps as you scroll down the list one you may think one or more might be useful. 

Different groups may be better for any one individual.  You may wish to try another group.

I wish you well being.

There is one support group in Des Moines that invalidated me and did not make me feel welcome after going a dozen times. That's the only one within a several hour drive....

Other local resources are virtually nonexistent based on this list: Gay Men's Chorus? Pride sports league?

That's why I'm desperate to get out of here... lol...

If none of the groups in the resources list are ones you can visit perhaps you can contact some of them and see if one or more can offer you help in some way.  Also there may be community centers or medical clinics not far from you that could provide some guidance.

I hope it all works out for you.

Do come back here to read other suggestions that may be posted for you to consider.

@Nostradamus91

I am sorry to see that you were "blunt" with your reply to our caring member ChrissyRyan and others... so I will be blunt with you.

? ??? Have you visited the site below that I gave to you when you first became a member here YESTERDAY ? ???
                                Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning
                                https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,487.0.html 

I do not see that you have posted any of your thoughts and comments there yet.:icon_sad:

If you don't wish to talk to others to vent about your issues here on the Forum, or on a suggested HOT LINE-Support LINE
or go to suggested LINKS that we have provided then I am not certain how else we can help you.

Before you can be helped, you need to be open to helping yourself.

Please don't get upset about the suggestions and Links that you are offered by our caring and experienced
members in response to your postings.  We wish to support you and help you as much as we can, but you need
to want to be helped.

Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

cc:  @ChrissyRyan  @Sephirah  @Lori Dee  @Sarah B

Hi Nostradamus,

It sounds like you've been through some really hard stuff. That sucks! And it isn't fair!

I'm going to make a suggestion that you might find helpful, though it might also be extremely hard for you to commit to. But trust me, if you can muster the courage and motivation, this could have the power to turn your life around.

Find someone to help. Help distribute food at a food bank. Help prepare and/or serve food at a rescue mission. Find a group that passes out blankets and warm clothes to people living outside and help them distribute supplies. Deliver meals to the elderly and housebound through Meals On Wheels. Help out at a senior center. Volunteer opportunities are possible in libraries, hospitals, nursing homes.

Helping someone else who is struggling can open up opportunities for growth and employment. At a bare minimum, it will make you feel better about yourself.

"Never give up! Never surrender!" - Jason Nesmith, Galaxy Quest

🤓
Miharu

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on January 30, 2025, 06:11:58 PM@Nostradamus91

I am sorry to see that you were "blunt" with your reply to our caring member ChrissyRyan and others... so I will be blunt with you.

? ???Have you visited the site below that I gave to you when you first became a member here YESTERDAY ? ???
                                Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning
                                https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,487.0.html 

I do not see that you have posted any of your thoughts and comments there yet.:icon_sad:

If you don't wish to talk to others to vent about your issues here on the Forum, or on a suggested HOT LINE-Support LINE
or go to suggested LINKS that we have provided then I am not certain how else we can help you.

Before you can be helped, you need to be open to helping yourself.

Please don't get upset about the suggestions and Links that you are offered by our caring and experienced
members in response to your postings.  We wish to support you and help you as much as we can, but you need
to want to be helped.

Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

cc:  @ChrissyRyan  @Sephirah  @Lori Dee  @Sarah B

To be fair people continued commenting after you suggested to post elsewhere so I'm continuing to reply. I will  start another thread...

I was looking for a shoulder to cry on as I said in my original post. Life is stack against me now, and overwhelmingly. This really sucks.

You can see the glass half empty if you choose. It is just as difficult to see it half full. We have had members come here and cry on our shoulders before. We offer support and guidance and some choose to ignore the help that is offered and move on to cry somewhere else. The difference is that it is a choice.

I have serious doubts that you made even one phone call to any of the many resources listed on our Supprt Groups board. Your reply indicates to me that you looked over the list and dismissed them outright. As Miharu Barbie pointed out, help can come in many forms. But no one is going to knock on your door to offer assistance. YOU must take action. YOU must contact someone and ask them if they can help.

You might get some who will say that they cannot for some reason. But it only takes one to make the connection to the resources you need. YOU have to get up off the couch and find a job. YOU have to pick up the phone and make a call. I would start with the Transgender Hotline and explain your situation. If they cannot help you directly, I bet they know someone who can. YOU need to accept the referrals, follow the leads, and help them help you.

All of the resources that Susan's Place has to offer you are at your disposal. If that is not enough, then we have nothing more to offer. If you are not looking for help, but just want a place to cry, we sympathasize, but that will not change anything.

There is an old saying, "If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting." Make a change, or several if you need to. But it is ultimately up to you to DO something.

@Nostradamus91

Thank you for your accommodating reply to my posting....
... as I stated, on the Forum our members are here for you !!!!  We will be eagerly looking
for and reading your venting and your questions and thoughts... be looking for our offerings
of helpful replies.

Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 30, 2025, 06:35:12 PMTo be fair people continued commenting after you suggested to post elsewhere so I'm continuing to reply. I will  start another thread...

I was looking for a shoulder to cry on as I said in my original post. Life is stack against me now, and overwhelmingly. This really sucks.



 

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 30, 2025, 06:50:34 PMYou can see the glass half empty if you choose. It is just as difficult to see it half full. We have had members come here and cry on our shoulders before. We offer support and guidance and some choose to ignore the help that is offered and move on to cry somewhere else. The difference is that it is a choice.

I have serious doubts that you made even one phone call to any of the many resources listed on our Supprt Groups board. Your reply indicates to me that you looked over the list and dismissed them outright. As Miharu Barbie pointed out, help can come in many forms. But no one is going to knock on your door to offer assistance. YOU must take action. YOU must contact someone and ask them if they can help.

You might get some who will say that they cannot for some reason. But it only takes one to make the connection to the resources you need. YOU have to get up off the couch and find a job. YOU have to pick up the phone and make a call. I would start with the Transgender Hotline and explain your situation. If they cannot help you directly, I bet they know someone who can. YOU need to accept the referrals, follow the leads, and help them help you.

All of the resources that Susan's Place has to offer you are at your disposal. If that is not enough, then we have nothing more to offer. If you are not looking for help, but just want a place to cry, we sympathasize, but that will not change anything.

There is an old saying, "If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting." Make a change, or several if you need to. But it is ultimately up to you to DO something.

Thank you. I don't think this community is the right place for me but best of luck.

The line about "getting off the couch and getting a job." Lol. Thanks hard ass. Were you in the military or something? I could never do that because it wouldn't feel very ladylike...

Anyway, goodbye forever!

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 30, 2025, 07:03:21 PMThank you. I don't think this community is the right place for me but best of luck.

The line about "getting off the couch and getting a job." Lol. Thanks hard ass. Were you in the military or something? I could never do that because it wouldn't feel very ladylike...

Anyway, goodbye forever!

I apologize if I wasn't clear. I was speaking figuratively, not literally. My point was that the only person who can change your situation is you. But you can't do that without taking action. No one can live your life for you.

You have been given the contact information should you decide to use it. It is up to you.

Again, I apologize if that seemed harsh.

Quote from: Nostradamus91 on January 30, 2025, 07:03:21 PMThank you. I don't think this community is the right place for me but best of luck.

The line about "getting off the couch and getting a job." Lol. Thanks hard ass.

It sounds like you're feeling a bit on edge, and that's understandable, you're going through a lot. But don't be too quick to judge. Take some time to get to know the community before making a decision.

You've received some excellent advice in this thread from everyone, including Lori. I've lost count of how many people Lori has helped, the number is huge, too many to count!

Give yourself a chance.