Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: akerdimos on January 29, 2025, 11:56:39 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: akerdimos on January 29, 2025, 11:56:39 PM
Post by: akerdimos on January 29, 2025, 11:56:39 PM
Hey Y'all.
I am not very sure what this forum is, but I figured you folks seem to have things mostly figured out.
To add some context to my title, I'm 19 years old, AMAB and have never really been content with myself. I've always felt some kind of body dysmorphia; not in the gender kind of way, but just discontentment in my appearance; but recently I've been having some fantasies/thoughts about if I were a woman. Sometimes the thoughts are sexual in nature, or they're just myself imagining an "alternate" life for myself. From what I've seen online it seems to be a fairly common sign of somebody being transgender or not conforming to gender binaries. I don't think I'm trans, but I was wondering if others had similar experiences or advice. Any responses are much appreciated.
I am not very sure what this forum is, but I figured you folks seem to have things mostly figured out.
To add some context to my title, I'm 19 years old, AMAB and have never really been content with myself. I've always felt some kind of body dysmorphia; not in the gender kind of way, but just discontentment in my appearance; but recently I've been having some fantasies/thoughts about if I were a woman. Sometimes the thoughts are sexual in nature, or they're just myself imagining an "alternate" life for myself. From what I've seen online it seems to be a fairly common sign of somebody being transgender or not conforming to gender binaries. I don't think I'm trans, but I was wondering if others had similar experiences or advice. Any responses are much appreciated.
Title: Re: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: Sephirah on January 30, 2025, 12:19:07 AM
Post by: Sephirah on January 30, 2025, 12:19:07 AM
Firstly welcome to the site, honey.
Secondly thank you for talking about how you feel. It can be hard, very hard sometimes. I wouldn't say we have stuff figured out. I think a lot of people here are as mixed up and questioning as you are. Which is a good thing. :) We're all in it together. And we kind of learn from each other. So... you're very much in the right place. ;)
My advice is... to try and get in contact with someone who has had training in dealing with gender issues. To help you understand what you're feeling and help you through this. Most of us here have contacted such a person, to help the process of finding out who we are. Do you have any therapists in your area, sweetie? We have an archive here of people who can help with this, although I'm not sure how up to date it is. It might help you out.
Secondly thank you for talking about how you feel. It can be hard, very hard sometimes. I wouldn't say we have stuff figured out. I think a lot of people here are as mixed up and questioning as you are. Which is a good thing. :) We're all in it together. And we kind of learn from each other. So... you're very much in the right place. ;)
My advice is... to try and get in contact with someone who has had training in dealing with gender issues. To help you understand what you're feeling and help you through this. Most of us here have contacted such a person, to help the process of finding out who we are. Do you have any therapists in your area, sweetie? We have an archive here of people who can help with this, although I'm not sure how up to date it is. It might help you out.
Title: Re: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: Sarah B on January 30, 2025, 01:20:13 AM
Post by: Sarah B on January 30, 2025, 01:20:13 AM
Hi Akerdimos
My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
First of all, I just want to say that you are very welcome here. It takes a lot of courage to talk about how you feel, especially when you are unsure about things. You are not alone in this. A lot of us have had times when we felt mixed up or questioning and that is okay. We all learn from each other and that is part of what makes this space helpful.
It's completely normal to feel discontented with your appearance. Many people, regardless of gender, struggle with body image at some point. If there is something you are unhappy about, it can help to figure out what specifically bothers you and see if there is anything you can do about it. That might be something as simple as a change in style, fitness, or grooming, or it could be something deeper that takes time to work through.
Having thoughts about being a woman does not necessarily mean you are transgender. People imagine different versions of themselves for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it's just curiosity or a way of exploring possibilities. However, if these thoughts are persistent and causing distress, it might be worth speaking to a therapist who has experience with gender issues. Many of us have done this and it can be helpful in understanding yourself better.
You mentioned that these thoughts have been more recent, but did you ever have similar feelings when you were younger? That might be something to think about, as patterns over time can sometimes provide insight.
Whatever the case, take your time and be kind to yourself. There is no rush to figure everything out overnight. If you ever need support, people here are happy to listen.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an All Ages Public Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html), of course. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.
Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Northern Star Girl @Lori Dee
@akerdimos
My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
First of all, I just want to say that you are very welcome here. It takes a lot of courage to talk about how you feel, especially when you are unsure about things. You are not alone in this. A lot of us have had times when we felt mixed up or questioning and that is okay. We all learn from each other and that is part of what makes this space helpful.
It's completely normal to feel discontented with your appearance. Many people, regardless of gender, struggle with body image at some point. If there is something you are unhappy about, it can help to figure out what specifically bothers you and see if there is anything you can do about it. That might be something as simple as a change in style, fitness, or grooming, or it could be something deeper that takes time to work through.
Having thoughts about being a woman does not necessarily mean you are transgender. People imagine different versions of themselves for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it's just curiosity or a way of exploring possibilities. However, if these thoughts are persistent and causing distress, it might be worth speaking to a therapist who has experience with gender issues. Many of us have done this and it can be helpful in understanding yourself better.
You mentioned that these thoughts have been more recent, but did you ever have similar feelings when you were younger? That might be something to think about, as patterns over time can sometimes provide insight.
Whatever the case, take your time and be kind to yourself. There is no rush to figure everything out overnight. If you ever need support, people here are happy to listen.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an All Ages Public Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html), of course. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.
Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Northern Star Girl @Lori Dee
@akerdimos
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Title: Re: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 05:12:00 AM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 05:12:00 AM
Hi Akerdimos!
Welcome!
Chrissy
Welcome!
Chrissy
Title: Re: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 05:30:37 AM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 30, 2025, 05:30:37 AM
Akerdimos,
Sometimes talking with a gender therapist helps so much with arriving at some clarifications.
If your thoughts of living as a woman or being a woman persist, a visit to a gender therapist could be quite helpful.
Chrissy
Sometimes talking with a gender therapist helps so much with arriving at some clarifications.
If your thoughts of living as a woman or being a woman persist, a visit to a gender therapist could be quite helpful.
Chrissy
Title: Re: Thoughts of Wishing I Were The Opposite Gender
Post by: Lori Dee on January 30, 2025, 10:19:18 AM
Post by: Lori Dee on January 30, 2025, 10:19:18 AM
Hello Akerdimos.
Welcome to Susan's Place!
You are definitely in the right place for advice and support. We don't have all the answers, but many of us have been through the same experiences. You will find that the real answers will come from within you. As others have mentioned, working with a therapist or psychologist with experience in gender identities can help you sort through it and figure things out.
If these feelings begin to bother you, a therapist can help you work through that too. They won't give you the answers. They just give you another perspective to help you figure it out.
If you are comfortable doing so, please tell us a little about you over in our Introductions forum. Be sure to check out the links Sarah B posted so you understand site policies.
Again, welcome to Susan's Place.
Welcome to Susan's Place!
You are definitely in the right place for advice and support. We don't have all the answers, but many of us have been through the same experiences. You will find that the real answers will come from within you. As others have mentioned, working with a therapist or psychologist with experience in gender identities can help you sort through it and figure things out.
If these feelings begin to bother you, a therapist can help you work through that too. They won't give you the answers. They just give you another perspective to help you figure it out.
If you are comfortable doing so, please tell us a little about you over in our Introductions forum. Be sure to check out the links Sarah B posted so you understand site policies.
Again, welcome to Susan's Place.