Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello
So i started my transition in 2011 , had my hormones back then but strugled getting to surgery , i have a date for it 16 may of this year (2025).can transition and getting to surgery be seen as a sort of
attachment ? Should i detach from surgery ? And i want a sexuality but is the vow of celibacy not for me then ?i want to finaly get to surgery but isnt that an attachment ?
Sorry if i dont write well i m a scyzophrenic on antipsychotics

Hello, Sosophia!

Welcome back! It has been a while since you last posted. Some things here at Susan's Place have changed, so I will leave some links at the end of this message. Please take the time to read through them.

You said you now have a surgery date of 16 May this year. That is great news! In your earlier posts, you were asking about Dr. Suporn in Thailand. Is that who you have the appointment with?

Quote from: Sosophia on February 15, 2025, 10:20:06 AMcan transition and getting to surgery be seen as a sort of
attachment ? Should i detach from surgery ? And i want a sexuality but is the vow of celibacy not for me then ?i want to finaly get to surgery but isnt that an attachment ?

What do you mean by "attachment"? Do you mean like an addiction? or a crutch?

You have been waiting a long time to get it done. Sure, you have had issues to work through to get this far, but doesn't that mean you are on the right path? Over the years, have you ever felt that you should not have the surgery? I don't mean what other people tell you. How do YOU feel about it?

As to your other question, you can have the surgery, the sexuality, AND be celibate too. I am asexual, so even after surgery, I have no plans to use those parts in that way. But maybe I will change my mind someday, so I want to have that option available. For me, it is more about helping me with how things look down there, not about needing to use it for sex. I hope that makes sense.

If you need anything, let us know. We are always happy to see returning members.

 

Hi,
I went to suporn in september 2019 and they didnt want to do surgery on me because i went twice to psychiatric hospital, they said i wasnt ready mentaly and physical , and then they didnt want to let me have surgery if voices and delirious idea hasnt been present for 4 year , wich cant happen since i have scyzophrenia.i found a doctor in france who can let me have surgery even with schizophrenia.mostly i am scared of post op care now .what i mean is i m attached to me being a girl,i am attached to having this surgery.and there are peoples in my life that try to make not have surgery.

I understand. It is important that you, your doctors, psychiatrists, and surgeons all agree that it would be good for you. Post-op care is always a concern for all of us. It will be important for you to have someone who will be able to help you with things, like getting to the bathroom, changing bandages, maybe even cooking food until you are able to do these things on your own.


On a side note, you posted this in the Spirituality > Buddhism forum. I will be moving it to the appropriate forum. Nothing will change except where it is found, but your links to it will remain unchanged so we can still see it and comment on it.

I am home with my mom , so she does the cookingvin general . Its mostly the washing poo that i am scared of because they will give me laxativ and i dislike washing poo that takes time and effort to wash because it make me anxious and shaking , at the moment i take chocolate regularly to have an easy to wash poo , but i wont be able to do this the first few months after surgery.

Surgery medications, like general anesthesia, can cause constipation. Every surgery I have had the surgeon gave me some stool softener tablets to prevent that. So you might not be taking chocolate, but something else that will have the same effect. You can talk to your surgeon about aftercare, what they will prescribe, and what you will need to do yourself.

I will be seeing a nurse before surgery to tell me what to do as aftercare
I put it in buddhism because i wanted others point of view on attachment to transition,hrt,srs.

Hey, Sosophia,

I totally forgot to post the links I wanted you to read. My apologies. Here they are:

---

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
• Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
• Photo, avatars, & signature images (https://www.susans.org//index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
• Site Policies and stuff to remember (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,492.0.html)
• Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
• Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

---

Hi
Did i break one of theses rules ?

Quote from: Sosophia on February 15, 2025, 01:05:54 PMHi
Did i break one of theses rules ?

No. All new members receive an Official Welcome message that contains this list. Since you are a returning member, I just wanted you to know that some of the policies have changed while you were away. This list is the most current policies you should be aware of.

You have done nothing wrong.

Sweetie, can I ask you... why do you think this attachment is wrong? Is it because what people in your life have told you, or something else?

Hi Sosophia

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you back to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have welcomed you as well.

It has been a while since you last posted and some things have changed here at Susan's Place since you last visited and as Lori has mentioned there are some links that she provided that will bring you up to date.

I see that you finally have a surgery date May 16, 2025.  That is wonderful news! I know this has been a long journey for you and I understand how much this means to you.  In your past posts, you mentioned looking into Dr Suporn in Thailand, but now you have found a doctor in France who is willing to move forward with your surgery.  It must feel like such a relief to have finally found someone who will help you despite your medical condition.

You mentioned being scared about post-op care.  I want to reassure you that there is nothing to be afraid of.  Yes, there will be some general pain, but nothing that a couple of painkillers cannot manage.  There are no bandages to apply or remove and as long as you remember to dilate as instructed, you should be fine.  That part is very important.  Do you have help lined up for after surgery? Having someone around, even just for basic things, can make recovery much easier.

I also understand your concerns about attachment.  At first, I was unsure what you meant, but now I get it.  You feel deeply connected to the idea of being a girl and to having this surgery and you are wondering if that attachment is something you should let go of.  From what you have shared, this surgery has been a long time coming and if your mental health team is in agreement, then there is no reason to detach yourself from it.  Since you are a girl anyway.  Since you are already moving forward, I don't see anyone being able to stop you now.

As for your thoughts on sexuality and celibacy, those choices are entirely up to you.  As Lori mentioned, some people choose to have surgery for reasons beyond sex and others may change their minds later.  No matter what, your decision is yours alone and no one else has the right to dictate how you live your life.

Your worries are, of course, valid.  This is a big step and it is natural to have concerns.  But you have come so far and you deserve to reach this goal.  If you need anything, we are here for you.  I look forward to hearing more as your surgery date gets closer.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition, members of Susan's will more than likely discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and I wish you all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Sosophia

Cis girls are girls with girls body by nature , me i need to struggle to have a girl body, if i dont fight i wont be a girl by nature except for my soul, i am attached to be a girl to have what i need to have a girl body

@Sosophia
Dear Sosophia
I am so very happy that you were able to return to Susan's Place and the Forum.

It is always nice to see our members postings expressing their thoughts, comments and
sharing about their journeys.

Your comment regarding your struggle to have a "girl-body" is something that I had
to personally deal with as I was in my own transition, and since I became Full Time
8+ years ago, that struggle is in the past. 

I am wishing success and happiness for your as you continue on and please keep your
updates coming as your May 16th surgery date approaches, 3 months from now.

In response to your question regarding "breaking any rules"  ... and as @Lori Dee replied to you ...
... you did not break any rules.  We always like to make certain that all of our members keep abreast
of our Terms Of Service updates, especially important since our site-wide crash on January 01, 2024.

Here are some LINKS with information about what happened and specifically what positive things
have happened with the Forum.

Please plan to read a couple announcements that were posted after the site crash:

                  The New Years Outage and our Lost years
              https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246809.0.html

                    The "NEW" updated Forum
              https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247170.0.html

            Important Update: Revising Our Language Moderation Guidelines
                https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247169.0.html
         
              The Foul Language and Respectful Communication Policy
                https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247168.0.html

If you have any questions regarding the Forum please feel free to Forum Private Message me
or any of the Forum Moderation Staff.

I am so very glad that you are here again... I will eagerly be following your postings around
the various threads and topics.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator.

cc: Forum Staff Global Moderators:      
          @Devlyn
          @Jessica_Rose
          @Mariah
          @Lori Dee
          @Sarah B

Quote from: Sosophia on February 16, 2025, 02:20:00 PMCis girls are girls with girls body by nature , me i need to struggle to have a girl body, if i dont fight i wont be a girl by nature except for my soul, i am attached to be a girl to have what i need to have a girl body

Why do you have to be celibate? I don't understand.

Quote from: BlueJaye on February 16, 2025, 06:59:35 PMWhy do you have to be celibate? I don't understand.

Its because at time i want to become a buddhist nun after my transition is over , but i am not sure anyway

Hooray for your thoughts of becoming a Buddhist nun! A lot about Buddhism appeals to me. As I read what you've written here about your concern about Attachment, I appreciate your struggle between the energy that you feel to transition, and your concern about doing the wrong thing, especially when answering to people who disagree with your plans.

How do you differentiate between Attachment and fulfilling your sacred purpose? What is your perspective during insightful meditation experiences? If you detached from transitioning, would you block it and risk being attached to the sex that someone assigned to you since birth? Have you thought about your own natural gender being a girl? I understand that your soul identifies as a girl. How do you see it? What opportunities have been opening to you? How do you balance struggle with the flow of life energy?

How do you work through your questions about celibacy? Sometimes celibacy follows after sexual experience. Sexual experience opportunities can make one's preference for celibacy much clearer.

Regarding post op care, my wife relies on me heavily for it. I think she is much older than you, so keep that in mind as you read this. She was discharged from the hospital too medicated to sort out her many pills (antibiotics, stool softener, several pain relievers, others if needed, and her previous pills and supplements). She was discharged with a wad of Vaseline gauze stitched to her labia, which I cleansed twice daily after I helped her shower, until her 10-day follow-up appointment. I continue to examine the surgical site and change her dressing at least once every day. I had to give her an injection every day for a week or so. She relied on me to deal with keeping her catheter safe in a few ways several times daily, which she needed for a few weeks. She continues to be most comfortable on her feet, but that still quickly tires her out. Sitting is still unpleasant, but she understands that it's healthier than being flat in bed. And, for a very few days, I did the cleaning and cooking that she usually does. Like you, certain tasks are very important to her, so her preparation for surgery included setting things up so she could do them post op with minimal time and effort.

We look forward to learning how you proceed on your unique journey. Thanks for being here.

I cant be sure i will be a buddhist nun,sometime it appeal to me but others time it scares me as a change.
I dont meditate much , i have difficulties  with it with the psychiatric medication i take.i dont really see myself not going trough transition,i am a girl soul and i dont like the idea of continuing this life without a girl body,i guess i have to not be attached to detachment there. i dont believe i have a sacred purpose. my gender is female, to me gender is the soul and sex the body , i am a girl soul born in a male body.
Maybe your right , first i need sexual experience before deciding to withdraw from it , at time also i dont see what is wrong with sex.Sometime i believe i need finished transition to be able to be not attached , when the body will just be there , then i can detach without loosing it

Quote from: Sosophia on February 17, 2025, 08:31:24 AMI cant be sure i will be a buddhist nun,sometime it appeal to me but others time it scares me as a change.

QuoteI dont meditate much , i have difficulties  with it with the psychiatric medication i take.i dont really see myself not going trough transition,i am a girl soul and i dont like the idea of continuing this life without a girl body,i guess i have to not be attached to detachment there.

Quotei dont believe i have a sacred purpose. my gender is female, to me gender is the soul and sex the body , i am a girl soul born in a male body.

QuoteMaybe your right , first i need sexual experience before deciding to withdraw from it , at time also i dont see what is wrong with sex.Sometime i believe i need finished transition to be able to be not attached , when the body will just be there , then i can detach without loosing it

You are the noticer and the watcher of all these things. How can anyone else know if you are attached or need to detach from them from an external angle?

I'm not a Buddhist, I am a Christian but I have some understanding of consciousness as awareness.

Perhaps you should request from admins to return this thread 🧵 to it's original category.

Quote from: Sosophia on February 15, 2025, 12:23:29 PM....I put it in buddhism because i wanted others point of view on attachment to transition,hrt,srs.

The thing about Buddhism, and attachment is that attachment to anything can bring suffering. Thus ideally one is not attached to anything, as then one will not go down the path of suffering. So, if somebody wants anything at all, they ultimately (according to Buddhism) will experience suffering as they are unable to guarantee that they will be able to obtain their desired item. So yes, theoretically one's desire for SRS can be viewed as a form of attachment, and could possibly lead one to more suffering.

Which does make a sort of sense. If you want something, but you can't get it, then you're probably going to be bummed about not being able to get it. So, maybe the best way to not be bummed, is to never want the thing in the first place. Easy enough. Right?

Yeah, but maybe not. It is relatively easy to say, hey, just don't want it, and then you'll be fine. If one believes that then I think ultimately they are denying what it is to be transgender. If it was truly possible to deny one's inner truth, and not transition, just by saying, no I'm not going to do that, and I don't want that, so that I don't have attachment in my life, I kind of think that many trans people would do that.

So then why do so many trans people transition even if it is attachment, and even if it is going to possibly lead to more suffering? I think it is because we are already suffering. So in a way, it is the attachment to doing what "traditional" society says we should do, and denying our true selves that actually causes the suffering. Thus it is that attachment that we should seek to rid ourselves of, and we should be open to accepting the possibilities of what might be, without attachment to the outcome, other than to seek to be true to ourselves.

Of course this is just my 2 cents on the subject. And yes I have studied a bit of Buddhism and Eastern religions in general, Confucianism, Taoism, Shinto, Hinduism, Islam, etc.......

Sorry if this discussion of religions violates our rules..... I'm a bit rusty of the religious aspects of this site to be honest with ya!

Quote from: Sosophia on February 15, 2025, 10:20:06 AMHello
So i started my transition in 2011 , had my hormones back then but strugled getting to surgery , i have a date for it 16 may of this year (2025).can transition and getting to surgery be seen as a sort of
attachment ? Should i detach from surgery ? And i want a sexuality but is the vow of celibacy not for me then ?i want to finaly get to surgery but isnt that an attachment ?

In many Buddhist traditions, the "watcher" or "noticer" is considered to have no inherent substance of its own. It is pure awareness, simply the act of noticing without attachment, preference, or identification.

Because it is nothing in itself, it cannot suffer.

Suffering arises when awareness becomes entangled with thoughts, emotions, and identities.

Now this is extremely powerful if you are able to achieve it.

But, I can not help you or guide you, because I am not qualify, I would suggest to try again in the Buddhism sub and hopefully someone else more qualified can help guide you there.

I wish you the best in your journey.



~ Lilis

Hi
Sorry if i didnt answer anything , i dont know what to answer