Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I don't know what this is, it kind of leaked from my brain. I apologise if it's a bit... dark. Also, I really suck at titles. I was going to leave it untitled.

Anyway


Be at peace. Find us...

The old wolf felt the whisper in her mind, as she had for days. Featherlight strands of hope encircling her heavy heart. Encouraging her aching limbs to move ever onward towards its source, wherever that may take her. However far she had to travel. Through ash-blasted lands, the very air stinging her eyes and choking her throat she had wandered. Through treacherous wetlands, each step a maze of hidden vines and unseen horrors, she had searched in vain.

We know your pain...

She came now upon the edge of a vast, seemingly endless forest and hesitated. Holding her breath she pricked her ears, listening for any sign of her pursuers, or threats which may lay within. She heard nothing but a faint heartbeat. Whether her own or that of the world, she could not tell. She could no longer see the moon, her guiding light. Its glow dimly visible behind a bank of gathering cloud.

Be not afraid, we are waiting for you...

The old wolf took a tentative step towards the silent sentinels standing watch before her. Teeth bared, ears flat, her pale eyes bright like ethereal fire. Though she did not know why, she felt danger. Felt it to the core of her being. But whatever had been guiding her had come from inside. She felt compelled to follow. To find journey's end.

You don't have to be alone...

Weaving carefully between the trees, she felt a chill run across her spine. Constant battles for survival having thinned and torn her fur. Her insulation from the world stripped in many places. Vulnerable places. An ominous, otherworldly cold began to creep in as she padded silently between the giant, rapidly darkening trunks around her.

You don't have to fight anymore...

The snow came. Softly at first and then more intensely. She felt an icy sting on her nose and gazed upwards. Regret filled her heart. Between the boughs above her head, frozen tears shed from a twilight sky of frozen memories. Frozen dreams. Her pack was gone. Her love was gone. Her soul was...

We are here, beloved...

Her breath was laboured now, years of fighting to see the next sunrise had taken their toll. The snow curled around her haunches. Each step sapping more and more of her energy. Then she saw it. Ahead in a clearing. A patch of night within the night. A void of perfect nothingness. She stopped, every instinct in her screaming at her to flee. This was wrong. This was danger. This was...

This is home...

The voice in her mind was clear now. Beckoning. Welcoming. She only had to go a little further and she would be safe. Safe from the world. Safe from the pain. Safe from the loneliness.

Give in...

Something in that snapped her out of her reverie. Give in? She had spent her life never giving in. She had given everything she had to fight. To just exist. For her and her pack. For her kind. She was a warrior. She was the strength for the weak, the hope for the hopeless. She growled. A low, gutteral mark of defiance, and turned back the way she came. And it was then she saw a myriad of glowing eyes among the trees. Malevolent fireflies dancing in the darkness. They had found her.

It is not too late. Come to us...

She felt trapped. Isolated. An ending behind her, an ending ahead. She knew she could not run. She would have to fight one last time. Bracing herself, drawing every ounce of energy she had, she tensed her muscles, bared her fangs, and growled defiantly to those in the shadows. In a blur of speed and cloud of powdered snow, two dozen shapes bolted from among the trees. Snarling, howling, hating. She knew she could not win, she could only hope it would be swift. Her strength gave out and she sank to the ground, closing her eyes and waiting for the end.

We will see you soon...

Silence. The old wolf lay there for a seeming eternity. Waiting for the pain to come. But it did not. She shivered from the cold. She dared not open her eyes. But then she felt something unexpected. She felt something next to her. The warmth of another. And another. And another. Daring to hope, she opened one eye and saw the dark within the dark had vanished. In its place, young wolves had curled up next to her. Feeding her with their warmth. Their life. Their hope. She saw she had a new pack. And could dream once more.

Her breath drifted into the night sky, ephemeral and precious. The old wolf slept, knowing it would not be her last.

OMG, Lauren! I love this.

Thank you, Lori. I haven't really written anything for probably years. It usually only happens when something gets in my head and won't let go until I get it out. Like a dose of food poisoning, lol. This was one of those times.

A great read  well done. Had to read it as it's also a favourite  song 

Quote from: big kim on April 10, 2025, 02:53:44 PMA great read  well done. Had to read it as it's also a favourite  song

Thank you, Kim. I didn't realise it was a song title, lol. As I say I really suck with titles. Most of the time I don't bother with them. ;D

Beautiful, Sephirah! Elegantly written and poetically presented. If I was you, I wouldn't give up on that whole writing thing. Your gift is special.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 10, 2025, 04:41:20 PMBeautiful, Sephirah! Elegantly written and poetically presented. If I was you, I wouldn't give up on that whole writing thing. Your gift is special.

Thank you, honey. I don't... I can't write unless it overtakes me. As in this case. I have like 99% writer's block. I don't even know what that was. I got the idea a couple of days ago and it didn't leave me alone. It was like a disease or something. It means a lot that you liked it.

I don't have the literary gift a lot of folks here have. But I sometimes get a mind worm that won't let go. ;D

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 04:52:19 PMI don't have the literary gift a lot of folks here have.

Sephirah, I am a writer. That's all I've ever been. Nothing glamorous (newspapers, magazines, and almost thirty years working in Indian Country as a grant writer). And you are a writer. You are a poet (as a prose writer, you can't the imagine the envy I'm feeling). Writer's block? I never stare at a blank page until I know what the first word will be that I write. After that, all the pages seem to fill themselves. You have so many first words. I hope you share them with me. With all of us.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 10, 2025, 07:41:30 PMSephirah, I am a writer. That's all I've ever been. Nothing glamorous (newspapers, magazines, and almost thirty years working in Indian Country as a grant writer). And you are a writer. You are a poet (as a prose writer, you can't the imagine the envy I'm feeling). Writer's block? I never stare at a blank page until I know what the first word will be that I write. After that, all the pages seem to fill themselves. You have so many first words. I hope you share them with me. With all of us.

Annika, I think I love you. Thank you for your encouragement. Please, if you want to, share with us your own gift? Don't write anything off as not glamorous. I do not feel I am anything special, but I can appreciate people who are. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 07:49:23 PMI think I love you. T

Not to get a step ahead of our nascent relationship, but I know I love you. As far as a writing sample? I don't know. I'm in the middle of my magnum opus. But, I promised myself to never use Susan's Place as a marketing platform. And I never will. For me, this place is a sacred space. That being said, if you care to send me your e-mail, I will attach a file. I'm not being coy or coquettish, no writer ever wrote a single word without hoping someone would read it. Moon Shadow is a case in point. And I am so glad I read it. And no one else could have written it.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 10, 2025, 08:04:32 PMNot to get a step ahead of our nascent relationship, but I know I love you. As far as a writing sample? I don't know. I'm in the middle of my magnum opus. But, I promised myself to never use Susan's Place as a marketing platform. And I never will. For me, this place is a sacred space. That being said, if you care to send me your e-mail, I will attach a file. I'm not being coy or coquettish, no writer ever wrote a single word without hoping someone would read it. Moon Shadow is a case in point. And I am so glad I read it. And no one else could have written it.

Annika, my email is leiandra@live.co.uk. It's in my profile. Feel free to send me anything you want me to see, okay? Don't feel you have to. And thank you, for your support for something I don't really feel is anything special.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 08:09:21 PMfor something I don't really feel is anything special

Deep breath. Do you prefer Sephirah or Lauren? I don't know if it was special to you, but I know it was special to me. In my experience, the writer doesn't define the reader. It seems to work the other way around. I've written hundreds of grant proposals. The only ones that mattered were the ones that were funded. Readers made that decision, not me.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 10, 2025, 08:16:37 PMDeep breath. Do you prefer Sephirah or Lauren? I don't know if it was special to you, but I know it was special to me. In my experience, the writer doesn't define the reader. It seems to work the other way around. I've written hundreds of grant proposals. The only ones that mattered were the ones that were funded. Readers made that decision, not me.

Sephirah is how most people here have known me for like 14 years. I only shared my real name with those closest to me. But that... I mean... I think I'm past that now.  Not even really sure why. Probably because I'm a deeply private person. But... I think I am okay with people using my name. Much like I am grateful to learn yours. We can only hide for so long before it becomes a mask we hate to wear. So... Annika, I am Lauren, and I am very pleased to meet you. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 08:21:31 PMAnnika, I am Lauren, and I am very pleased to meet you.

And you as well, Lauren. I sent an e-mail. If you didn't receive it, someone is so confused. If you did, I'm anxiously awaiting a reply (which is the norm for me: anxiety). I'm glad you like my name. I chose it myself.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 10, 2025, 09:16:03 PMAnd you as well, Lauren. I sent an e-mail. If you didn't receive it, someone is so confused. If you did, I'm anxiously awaiting a reply (which is the norm for me: anxiety). I'm glad you like my name. I chose it myself.

I did, Annika. For some reason it got sent to my junk folder. Because Microsoft is like the big daddy of emails. Sent you a reply, sweetie. For some reason Outlook doesn't like Susans. And I have to check everything. But yeah I caught yours and said to  bill gates "What 'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Sooo, I just finished reading Annika's book. Totally didn't stay up all night doing so. Honest.

Do you have a publisher for it, Annika? If not, you need to get one. That is one of the best things I've ever read. Girl, don't ever be envious of my mental leaking. You are truly talented.