Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Welcome to the continuing blog thread of Emma1017 
                  "Emma1017 ... Which hurts less - Volume Two"

Emma1017's first Blog Thread "Which hurts less" is still
available for reading and can be found at the following Link:
      ---> https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,240370.0.html

Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

@Emma1017
Dear Emma:
Along with the rest of your avid followers and readers, I am eagerly looking forward
to reading your continuing postings and updates here on your latest Blog Thread.

HUGS, Danielle[Northern Star Girl]

Well book 2 who would have thunked it (thought I would throw in some local dialect!). Keep going dear and we will soon fill this one up.

Thank Davina.  Not sure I can beat the last chapter, but as long as you and everyone else stop by once in a while, I am sure we will keep it lively.

Starting this chapter with the positive, it is great that friendships can be established with words here, versus the trash we have to read and hear in the media.  On Susan's, we choose who we want to read and what we want to share. When we do share, it is from the heart.

I also want to say Thank You! to Danielle and all of the moderators who keep the garbage out and allow true relationships to grow.

 

I wrote this today to clear my head:

Why would a wife want to be a partner with a transgender woman?

Here are my ten best reasons (taken from only my experience):

We are very empathetic: We under emotional pain and aware of the toll it takes on people.

We are warm and friendly: We appreciate the warmth and friendship shown to us and reflect it back.

We listen and share feelings: It is a long and painful path to accept that we are transgender. The process makes us more in tune with our feelings.

We like clothes, makeup, and shopping: It may seem shallow, but we have repressed our gender for so long that our female presentation is a celebration every time we experiment with clothes and makeup.

We are loyal, we will always have your back: We are constantly under attack both from the world and inside our own heads. We cherish every true friend.
Love and making love are closely aligned: We are no longer slaves to testosterone. Having sex is not as important as making love, and maybe being in love is more important than sex.

We don't tolerate bigots, misogyny, or bullies: When you are a victim of their attacks, it makes you intolerant of them in every form.
Being older, we are generally more mature and financially secure: It's nice to have an adult relationship, particularly as you navigate so many other issues in that relationship.

We are emotionally stable: There may be other reasons to be crazy, but fluctuating hormones are not one of them. Our hormones are regulated by medication.

Our hearts are big and waiting for love back: We really don't need much, just a loving understanding of what makes us who we are.

This is a short list, and it is based on my experience. I have had so many dialogues with other late transitioners that I have noted some of the commonalities that I am sharing here.

Feel free to add to the list.

Busy week, did my annual mammogram on Tuesday (everything is ok), dentist yesterday and I meet with a LGBTQ doctor today.  I hope she works out.  I want someone familiar with transgender health to coordinate my care knowing I am on hormones.

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 21, 2025, 06:59:36 AMI wrote this today to clear my head:

Why would a wife want to be a partner with a transgender woman?

Here are my ten best reasons (taken from only my experience):

We are very empathetic: We under emotional pain and aware of the toll it takes on people.

We are warm and friendly: We appreciate the warmth and friendship shown to us and reflect it back.

We listen and share feelings: It is a long and painful path to accept that we are transgender. The process makes us more in tune with our feelings.

We like clothes, makeup, and shopping: It may seem shallow, but we have repressed our gender for so long that our female presentation is a celebration every time we experiment with clothes and makeup.

We are loyal, we will always have your back: We are constantly under attack both from the world and inside our own heads. We cherish every true friend.
Love and making love are closely aligned: We are no longer slaves to testosterone. Having sex is not as important as making love, and maybe being in love is more important than sex.

We don't tolerate bigots, misogyny, or bullies: When you are a victim of their attacks, it makes you intolerant of them in every form.
Being older, we are generally more mature and financially secure: It's nice to have an adult relationship, particularly as you navigate so many other issues in that relationship.

We are emotionally stable: There may be other reasons to be crazy, but fluctuating hormones are not one of them. Our hormones are regulated by medication.

Our hearts are big and waiting for love back: We really don't need much, just a loving understanding of what makes us who we are.

This is a short list, and it is based on my experience. I have had so many dialogues with other late transitioners that I have noted some of the commonalities that I am sharing here.

Feel free to add to the list.

Because it's still the person you fell in love with... they just aren't scared to be themselves anymore.

That's the only thing I can come up with. And I think the only thing which matters. I will admit.. I don't... I don't think that someone can fall for a trans girl, even when they haven't come out to themselves, and think "Yeah I'm marrying a dude." I just don't think... from all my experience here, that's not how it works. You can't be completely oblivious until someone comes out because people just aren't that good of an actress. You have that about you always, and I think it is why people fall for you, because you're not like other people. So to be like "I had no inkling whatsoever!" is disingenuous because if your partner knew most of their life... there's no way you didn't get that vibe. Unless you just didn't care? People can't hide stuff as well as they think they can.

Maybe I am totally wrong but... I find it hard to believe that someone wouldn't have the slightest suspicion that someone was trans even if they never said anything. Just because there's too much to try and hide. I dunno.

"Because it's still the person you fell in love with... they just aren't scared to be themselves anymore."

Sephirah, that is a perfect summary.  I was having a mental conversation with my wife and the wives of late-in-life transitioners.  I was trying to list why we're worth sticking around with, rather than getting a divorce. I wanted to counter-balance the negative...mostly in my head.

My wife and I are fine.  It was just another bout of self-doubt and self-criticism.

I like this video by a supportive wife, and I'm totally jealous: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xprh0MA7kM

You are worth it because you are you, Emma. You were Emma when you met your wife, and you are Emma now. It just took some figuring out of some stuff. You are no less a person than when you were that awkward girl crushing on another girl, while still being within yourself. And that's kind of the hardest thing for trans people.

Everything about you that matters, doesn't come from what gender you are. It comes from your soul. Your wit, your literary gift, your kindness, your understanding, your loyalty.. hell I could go on but I don't want your head to grow too big, lol. ;) The point is, the thing that makes us... us... is there and will always be there, no matter what bits we have in what locations. And while I get why it's hard for some partners to see beyond that, in terms of procreation and physical lust, I would suggest that it's the other parts of you they fell in love with. As that video shows. You don't marry the sex organs, you fall in love with the person. And if you don't... there's something wrong somewhere.

As an aside, that girl is legit amazing. Massive kudos. I love how she is like "I don't need to put words to how I feel. I just feel." That is very much me. Damn, Amanda is someone special.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 06:50:52 AMAs that video shows. You don't marry the sex organs, you fall in love with the person. And if you don't... there's something wrong somewhere.

Beautifully said, Sephirah. As was the entire thread between you and Emma regarding love and commitment with a transgender partner. I'm too old for all the mushy stuff, but I think it would have been one heck of an adventure if I had come out sooner and discovered the woman (trans or cis) willing to share her life with me. I even believe such a relationship would have lasted far longer than any of my other relationships. Perhaps, it would have lasted forever.

MO, never give up on love.  You are never too old!

Sephirah, that couple in the YouTube video has a series about their transition.  It gets a little too sweet, but given all the negative videos about being transgender, their story is a very nice change of pace.  The series is nicely done.

I agree about our core, it's just the wrapper that gets in the way!

I thought this was very cute:  "when you were that awkward girl crushing on another girl..."

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 25, 2025, 10:21:50 AMBeautifully said, Sephirah. As was the entire thread between you and Emma regarding love and commitment with a transgender partner. I'm too old for all the mushy stuff, but I think it would have been one heck of an adventure if I had come out sooner and discovered the woman (trans or cis) willing to share her life with me. I even believe such a relationship would have lasted far longer than any of my other relationships. Perhaps, it would have lasted forever.

Annika, you're never too old for the mushy stuff. That's kind of the heatbeat of life.

Girl, you are gorgeous. And you have the same magical word spiderwebs encircling your soul that Emma does. Some people just... have it. Annika, and Emma, you girls have it. In abundance.

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 25, 2025, 10:36:53 AMI thought this was very cute:  "when you were that awkward girl crushing on another girl..."

That's you, Emma. And that's the thing. You don't just wake up one morning and decide "Yeah, so, I am a girl/boy/non-binary today!" It is with you for your whole life. That's what the current world media would like to have people believe. That people flip flop more than a Los Angeles beach in summer. Because they want it to not matter. But it matters. It matters a lot.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 25, 2025, 10:52:56 AMAnnika, you're never too old for the mushy stuff. That's kind of the heatbeat of life.

I had to think about this for a bit, Sephirah (a new habit I'm trying to form: thinking before posting). I believe Susan's Place is ideally suited for euphemisms and respecting boundaries (another habit I'm diligently attempting to inculcate). And I am, quite frankly, long past whatever the euphemism 'mushy stuff' might imply. But snuggling? Two old women holding hands and giving each other an intimate but otherwise perfunctory kiss? Smiling at each other with no need for goo-goo eyes or surreptitious touching? Yeah. I'm down for that. Perhaps, someday, I'll meet (or re-meet, I haven't quite given up on my first wife just yet) someone with whom I can share tender moments. And laugh together in silence watching another sunrise. But I assumed (another habit I'm attempting to break) Emma was talking about all the wonders of being young with someone you love. And those wonders are sublime, though transient. As you know, I cherish my memories of being young and tend to describe them in graphic detail. But I did not cherish those moments at the time they occurred. For me, that's the beauty of growing old: the ability to cherish. I just re-read this, making sure I did't dot a t or cross and i. But I'm going to post it anyway. New habits are difficult to form. I read and reread and printed and read again your story. I am in awe of your magical word spiderwebs.     

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 25, 2025, 09:16:27 PMI had to think about this for a bit, Sephirah (a new habit I'm trying to form: thinking before posting). I believe Susan's Place is ideally suited for euphemisms and respecting boundaries (another habit I'm diligently attempting to inculcate). And I am, quite frankly, long past whatever the euphemism 'mushy stuff' might imply. But snuggling? Two old women holding hands and giving each other an intimate but otherwise perfunctory kiss? Smiling at each other with no need for goo-goo eyes or surreptitious touching? Yeah. I'm down for that. Perhaps, someday, I'll meet (or re-meet, I haven't quite given up on my first wife just yet) someone with whom I can share tender moments. And laugh together in silence watching another sunrise. But I assumed (another habit I'm attempting to break) Emma was talking about all the wonders of being young with someone you love. And those wonders are sublime, though transient. As you know, I cherish my memories of being young and tend to describe them in graphic detail. But I did not cherish those moments at the time they occurred. For me, that's the beauty of growing old: the ability to cherish. I just re-read this, making sure I did't dot a t or cross and i. But I'm going to post it anyway. New habits are difficult to form. I read and reread and printed and read again your story. I am in awe of your magical word spiderwebs.     

Nah, girl. you are worth more than that. You and Emma both. The only time you get old is when you want to feel old. I do not get that vibe from either of you, Annika. Or Emma. You both have an energy of women in your 30s. Because life only wears on you when you let it. I kind of feel 100 most days, but I am trying to deal with stuff. Girl, you don't have to let a number define you, any more than you have to let a label define you. Be you, love being you... and blaze your own trail. It is never too late, Annika. And Emma. You are both rather extremely gifted girls. :)

I have clients in their 90s and a few over 100 years old.  They are living their lives and have great senses of humor...maybe that's the key.

An elderly client told me years ago that the art of getting older is to realize the things you can't do, and then find the 5,000 things that you can.

I like that.

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:09:12 AMI have clients in their 90s and a few over 100 years old.  They are living their lives and have great senses of humor...maybe that's the key.

An elderly client told me years ago that the art of getting older is to realize the things you can't do, and then find the 5,000 things that you can.

I like that.

Makes sense to me Emma.

Enjoy your Saturday immensely!


Chrissy

Thanks Chrissy.  Do something fun today!

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:17:49 AMThanks Chrissy.  Do something fun today!

Emma,


Okay, I will try.  Thank you.

I may go to get some cosmetics, exercise, and relax.


Chrissy

Excellent Chrissy!

I may do the same today.  I bought a candle-making kit and some essential oils.  It's been fun.  I have some beach glass that I put in the mold and added lemongrass oil.  It came out pretty decently.

Today, I have some mason jars to play with.

It's nice to have something fun to do.  I had an "adult" week: mammogram, dentist, a new transgender doctor, a plumber snaking out the drain in a wet basement, a roofer repairing missing roof ties, and sending my car into the shop (Sorry Davina, you are too far away for me to get to...)...oh and work.

I need to make sure I don't do too many candles today.... ;D

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:09:12 AMI have clients in their 90s and a few over 100 years old.  They are living their lives and have great senses of humor...maybe that's the key.

An elderly client told me years ago that the art of getting older is to realize the things you can't do, and then find the 5,000 things that you can.

I like that.
Thanks, Emma--so do I. I wish I had wasted my youth more wisely but have few regrets about getting old. I was not mourning the loss of my capacity or inclination towards 'romantic' love but celebrating my awareness of something much more profound and fulfilling. I agree with those you counsel who look for the 5,000 things to replace whatever the one thing was that time stole from them. And loved your discussion with Sephirah regarding transgender couples. I have scant desire to be part of a 'couple' but enjoyed hearing all the reasons I can offer to this 'lucky' woman should I someday find her.

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:45:07 AMExcellent Chrissy!

I may do the same today.  I bought a candle-making kit and some essential oils.  It's been fun.  I have some beach glass that I put in the mold and added lemongrass oil.  It came out pretty decently.

Today, I have some mason jars to play with.

It's nice to have something fun to do.  I had an "adult" week: mammogram, dentist, a new transgender doctor, a plumber snaking out the drain in a wet basement, a roofer repairing missing roof ties, and sending my car into the shop (Sorry Davina, you are too far away for me to get to...)...oh and work.

I need to make sure I don't do too many candles today.... ;D

Emma,


I was thinking of going to a comedy club soon.
Have you ever been to the Park Slope area's Union Hall comedy place?

I may also if in the right place in California at the right time, go to a Jay Leno show. 

Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:45:07 AMExcellent Chrissy!

I may do the same today.  I bought a candle-making kit and some essential oils.  It's been fun.  I have some beach glass that I put in the mold and added lemongrass oil.  It came out pretty decently.

Today, I have some mason jars to play with.

It's nice to have something fun to do.  I had an "adult" week: mammogram, dentist, a new transgender doctor, a plumber snaking out the drain in a wet basement, a roofer repairing missing roof ties, and sending my car into the shop (Sorry Davina, you are too far away for me to get to...)...oh and work.

I need to make sure I don't do too many candles today.... ;D

I love scented candles! I sold them for many years, and each year I would go to Phoenix for a convention. They had many very interesting workshops about candlemaking, essential oils, etc. Just be careful because some of the oils you get off the shelf are not suitable for candles. The heat and evaporation can make some dangerous.

The woman who did one of the workshops was a perfumist who used to work for a major cosmetics company. I learned that many "scents" are not from the essential oils, but from a combination of scents that result in the target scent. She had a contest once where distributors were asked to burn two different scented candles and notice how the scents combine (good or bad). I found that I really liked burning a large Lily and a small Rose. The combination is wonderful!

Have fun with it!

I have seen a bacon scented candle for sale!

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 26, 2025, 09:41:48 AMI have seen a bacon scented candle for sale!

There was a company that was doing stuff like that. I often suggested they have a product line of scented candles for guys: motor oil, diesel, and WD40.  ;D

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 08:45:07 AMExcellent Chrissy!

I may do the same today.  I bought a candle-making kit and some essential oils.  It's been fun.  I have some beach glass that I put in the mold and added lemongrass oil.  It came out pretty decently.

Today, I have some mason jars to play with.

It's nice to have something fun to do.  I had an "adult" week: mammogram, dentist, a new transgender doctor, a plumber snaking out the drain in a wet basement, a roofer repairing missing roof ties, and sending my car into the shop (Sorry Davina, you are too far away for me to get to...)...oh and work.

I need to make sure I don't do too many candles today.... ;D

Okay.  Just "do not burn your candle at both ends."


Sometimes there are just some chores and tasks you have to get done.


Hugs,

Chrissy

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 26, 2025, 09:43:29 AMThere was a company that was doing stuff like that. I often suggested they have a product line of scented candles for guys: motor oil, diesel, and WD40.  ;D

Hmmm.  Vanilla can smell good.  Burning motor oil?  Not for me.  LOL.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 26, 2025, 09:43:29 AMThere was a company that was doing stuff like that. I often suggested they have a product line of scented candles for guys: motor oil, diesel, and WD40.  ;D

No way on the diesel candles for me.

Unsure about the WD40 scent. 

Chrissy

I dont need a scent candle as I smell of oil and WD40 and burnt metal from grinding/welding, well before a good shower that is!!

I like the idea of candles scented as "Davina's Garage" to pair up with "Davina's Curry Kitchen".

Lori, I am making sure I don't develop a candle making addiction.  I could easily fall into that trap.  I am a gear junkie.  You sound like one too!

Hmmm Chrissy, you may have given me a a new candle idea: "do not burn your candle at both ends"

OM, I think the best couples just happen, so you never know...

Emma,

Well just be careful with candles! 

Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 11:02:58 AMHmmm Chrissy, you may have given me a a new candle idea: "do not burn your candle at both ends"

https://www.sandstonegoods.com/products/twist-double-taper-candle?gQT=1

For $40?????? The lowest price I saw was $25. Emma, you can make a fortune selling them for $15.

Well I ended up not getting any cosmetics today as I was not convinced the salesclerk really knew any more about cosmetics than how to do welding, nuclear physics, or how to calculate an integral.  Plus I doubt she knew much about those matters either.  Give her time and she will learn, and I hope about cosmetics for her job.  She seemed nice.

A thought:  Educate the staff better.  More sales may come about. 


She had pretty blue nails though.


Chrissy

Lori, that is a pretty cool candle and well beyond my skill set.  I'll stick with filling jars...Also, I think I just OD'd on all of the fragrance oils.  My wife just retreated from the basement.

Chrissy, I did two makeovers at Sephora, and they used way too much product. I like makeup as a subtle beauty enhancement, it shouldn't be body filler!  Sorry, it wasn't more fun for you.  There is still plenty of weekend left!

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 26, 2025, 03:51:57 PMLori, that is a pretty cool candle and well beyond my skill set.  I'll stick with filling jars...Also, I think I just OD'd on all of the fragrance oils.  My wife just retreated from the basement.

Chrissy, I did two makeovers at Sephora, and they used way too much product. I like makeup as a subtle beauty enhancement, it shouldn't be body filler!  Sorry, it wasn't more fun for you.  There is still plenty of weekend left!

Less is more.

Chrissy

I was having a "poor me" moment.  I hate them.  It started on Saturday.  It felt like I was under assault internally and externally.  I felt alone with it all, transgender hate, hating being transgender, US politics, UK politics, American shame and embarrassment, etc., etc., etc.

I know I am not alone with all of this, but it felt pretty personal. I allowed myself to bury my head further in anger and frustration. Then I did something even stupider, I went on the internet and trolled YouTube, not the best place to console oneself if the algorithm senses your black mood.

The effort obviously failed. It made it worse.

So I unplugged.  I did normal stuff like taking a walk, food shopping, and talking to neighbors.  I started to decompress.  I contacted my friend Jenn and made a date to go walking yesterday afternoon, as me, not as a guy who is me, and it worked.

I knew it wasn't the answer to my problems or the world's, but it at least got me to recover some perspective, at least my head wasn't going to explode.

Jenn took a great photo to capture the moment:

               (https://i.imgur.com/lKpg7Hb.jpeg)

Just gotta love that smile!
Do it often.  ;D

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 29, 2025, 06:29:46 PMI knew it wasn't the answer to my problems or the world's, but it at least got me to recover some perspective, at least my head wasn't going to explode.

Jenn took a great photo to capture the moment:

Great photo, Emma!

It's like Jenn captured something special.

That smile and the expression on your face say so much and it's shining through you.


~ Lilis 💗

You need to let the genie out the lamp more my dear, that smile says it all XXX

As others said, love the photo and really love the smile

Ellen

Thank you, Lori, Lilis, Davina, and Ellen.  The opinion of friends is far more valuable than my own opinion of myself.  ::) 

Of course, I notice my waist in the photo, but I have given up on my girlish figure.  No bikinis for me!  :o

All in all, it was a fun day and much needed!

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 30, 2025, 04:49:35 PMThank you, Lori, Lilis, Davina, and Ellen.  The opinion of friends is far more valuable than my own opinion of myself.  ::) 

Of course, I notice my waist in the photo, but I have given up on my girlish figure.  No bikinis for me!  :o

All in all, it was a fun day and much needed!

I think I gave up on bikinis when I turned 40.  ;D

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 30, 2025, 04:53:00 PMI think I gave up on bikinis when I turned 40.  ;D

I also gave up bikinis decades ago

Ellen

I have never given bikinis even a thought.  I am a swim shorts and rash guard kinda girl.

Rash Guard - That's what I wear in the creek, aka jeans. Too many leeches hide under the rocks I move.  ;D

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 29, 2025, 07:33:48 PMJust gotta love that smile!
Do it often.  ;D

Right? Emma has the smile that can stop traffic.

Girl, we all need to unplug from the world a lot of the time. I am thankful because stuff makes me so out of it that I can't be in touch with this more than a day or two a week. I mean not thankful, obviously, but you know what I mean. Now more than ever you can get massively overloaded if you allow it.

But sometimes you just need to live in the world where global communications doesn't exist. You need to switch off. And just be in your own world. Forget everyone else's.

Quote from: Sephirah on May 01, 2025, 04:52:31 PMBut sometimes you just need to live in the world where global communications doesn't exist. You need to switch off. And just be in your own world. Forget everyone else's.

That is why I try to spend as much time as possible in the forest.

Quote from: Lori Dee on May 01, 2025, 05:58:49 PMThat is why I try to spend as much time as possible in the forest.

Lori... part squirrel. She's nuts, but in the best possible way. <3

Sephirah if I tried to stop traffic in NYC with my smile, I'd be toothless...🤪

Now you all know why I scuba dive. There is no internet under water.

But hey, according to the world, we are all nuts and I couldn't think of a classier group of people to be associated with.
Now pass me some walnuts.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 01, 2025, 09:18:18 PMSephirah if I tried to stop traffic in NYC with my smile, I'd be toothless...🤪

Now you all know why I scuba dive. There is no internet under water.

But hey, according to the world, we are all nuts and I couldn't think of a classier group of people to be associated with.
Now pass me some walnuts.

See... I knew I loved you for a reason. Walnuts are my favourites. Followed closely by Brazil Nuts.

Also.. a girl who is down with the beauty of the underwater world is a girl after my own heart.

We aren't who we are because of what's outside. We are who we are because of what's inside.

I've been watching some more stuff by that couple you linked, Emma. Amanda and Shaye? Shaye is so gorgeous. And her wife is equally as gorgeous. Because they just love each other. I used to know a girl when I first came here back in 2008, called Shay. She reminded me of you... quite a lot, honestly. Must be the name. ;D She was around your age, and just as thoughtful... and sassy.

So thats why there are walnuts in the carrot cake!!

I guess we have to be nuts to be transgender... ::)

Talking about changing worlds, I tried the Meta Quest 3 virtual reality headset.  It is amazing!  There are apps for so many different experiences. You can enter mediative world, go underwater, travel the world, watch a movie on a big screen or play as Indian Jones without connection to a computer. 

It is ridiculously expensive at $399 but it was fun to play in the store.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 03, 2025, 08:26:51 AMI guess we have to be nuts to be transgender... ::)

Talking about changing worlds, I tried the Meta Quest 3 virtual reality headset.  It is amazing!  There are apps for so many different experiences. You can enter mediative world, go underwater, travel the world, watch a movie on a big screen or play as Indian Jones without connection to a computer. 

It is ridiculously expensive at $399 but it was fun to play in the store.

Omg, Emma, that's kind of cheap... relatively. I had one of the original Occulus Rift VR headsets back in 2017, and the thing cost over £700 ($928 in today's money). And you needed to plug it into a powerful gaming PC just to get the thing to run.

It's amazing how the tech has moved on... but there really is nothing like it. Your brain fills in the gaps. One of the first experiences I had was "standing" on top of a skyscraper as this giant UFO flew overhead, doing the whole Mars Attacks thing... and as someone who has really bad vertigo, I almost threw up. Your brain makes it real. It's quite freaky. And with the right experience, really quite wonderful.

People have done stuff with VR that... well...

https://beanotherlab.org/home/work/tmtba/

Hmmm, swapping bodies by virtual reality. 

I always thought that someday trans fem and trans masc individuals could have a swap meet of body parts.

I did two more days teaching, and it was a lot of fun.  The students now recognize me and like to chat.   It felt really special when the principal said I was invited to the graduation because I was "part of the family now".  That was really special.

The senior class is trying to do a prom, but most have no money, and some live in shelters, so I suggested that they start a go-fund-me page. 

There is such a large LGBTQ community in NYC, I know that they could raise the funds.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 07, 2025, 03:12:42 PMI did two more days teaching, and it was a lot of fun.  The students now recognize me and like to chat.   It felt really special when the principal said I was invited to the graduation because I was "part of the family now".  That was really special.

The senior class is trying to do a prom, but most have no money, and some live in shelters, so I suggested that they start a go-fund-me page. 

There is such a large LGBTQ community in NYC, I know that they could raise the funds.

No wonder the kids like you!

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 07, 2025, 03:12:42 PMI did two more days teaching, and it was a lot of fun.  The students now recognize me and like to chat.   It felt really special when the principal said I was invited to the graduation because I was "part of the family now".  That was really special.

The senior class is trying to do a prom, but most have no money, and some live in shelters, so I suggested that they start a go-fund-me page. 

There is such a large LGBTQ community in NYC, I know that they could raise the funds.

It is good to help out the kids.

Chrissy

Well we all knew you would fit in!!!

It's funny, some people in the school think I am gay, some know I am transgender but not sure whether I am mtf or ftm, and only a few think I am cisgender. 

You may be the target market for the 'Guess' line of clothing and fashion accessories.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 08, 2025, 01:19:25 PMIt's funny, some people in the school think I am gay, some know I am transgender but not sure whether I am mtf or ftm, and only a few think I am cisgender. 

As long as they all know you as Emma, it's all good. :)

I keep it simple for the kids, I use my male name but that is ok because, as you have helped me understand Sephirah, I have always been Emma.  That is what I needed to learn.  That is the smile they see.  That is the smile I feel and the one you all know. 

It's the one I share with people I care about.

Jess I feel more like a convertible lately...😁

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 08, 2025, 09:38:57 PMI keep it simple for the kids, I use my male name but that is ok because, as you have helped me understand Sephirah, I have always been Emma.  That is what I needed to learn.  That is the smile they see.  That is the smile I feel and the one you all know. 

It's the one I share with people I care about.

Jess I feel more like a convertible lately...😁

That's what makes you genuine, Emma. Doesn't matter what you do, what name you use, how you approach things. You have always been and will always be the person you are inside. That beautiful, fragile, kind, inquisitive, understanding soul. That is the light behind your eyes. The beauty behind your smile. Girl, you are you. And that's all there ever has to be.

I am so proud of you. You are doing a very hard thing with compassion and grace. You are a testament to everything good in the world. <3

Sephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 09, 2025, 11:15:09 AMSephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.

Good for you!

Chrissy

Emma,

Have a nice weekend!

Chrissy

Thank you Chrissy. I hope you have a great one as well!

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 09, 2025, 11:15:09 AMSephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.

You are in a much better school than I went to, Emma. And I am grateful for that. :)

Sephirah, I think most kids have a better chance than when we were kids.  We all know the imperfections now, but pedophiles don't have social ignorance to hide behind, and more schools have better policies for LGBTQ students.

There is a long way to go, but at least there is visible progress.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 11, 2025, 08:50:15 AMSephirah, I think most kids have a better chance than when we were kids.  We all know the imperfections now, but pedophiles don't have social ignorance to hide behind, and more schools have better policies for LGBTQ students.

There is a long way to go, but at least there is visible progress.

Nah, honey, kids have a much better chance because they have much better teachers. <3

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Good teachers are important.

Sorry all, I am having a miserable night and I need to vent or I will explode. We went out with friends all day and went to a pub around the corner from my house for a night cap. Stupidly, my friend and I got caught up in politics.  We are on opposite sides but still really good friends.

I told him we needed to shut down the subject but he made some additional remarks before we went back to the hockey game on the pub tv. He rotated his back to me to talk with other hockey fans and I was left sitting there while our wives put more money in the jukebox box.

I sat there angrily watching the tv. I decided to leave a told my wife my back was acting up and told her to stay. She was having a good time and didn't want to ruin it.

My friend said something that triggered me. Not his fault, just his politics. It just set me off internally. I excused myself and walked home

As I got changed, I refused to look at myself or my body as I passed the mirrors.

I said to myself that I hate being transgender, I hate what I am and I am just hurting. 

I need to post this to purge my feelings. I am being massively selfish doing so and I apologize but I need to get my thoughts out of me before I implode and this is the best I can do.

I am so sorry for dumping on you.

Shutting down for a little bit.

Don't ever be sorry, Emma. You know where I am if you want to vent to someone okay?

This place is here for you to get all this stuff out. To help you.

Emma, you are who you are. Ain't nothin' and nobody in the world can change that. What you can do is take refuge in people who get you, and are there for you, when times get hard.

You're my friend and I love you. You aren't going through this alone. I am only a word away. <3

Vent away dear its your space, big cyber hug coming your way XX

I heard a Mexican naval ship hit the Brooklyn Bridge's underside but the 142 year old bridge is apparently safe.  There was a human cost though, tragic these failures happen.  I heard there were deaths and injuries.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 17, 2025, 11:22:49 PMI said to myself that I hate being transgender, I hate what I am and I am just hurting.

I know that feeling very well. It is important to remember that none of us asked for this. We are just trying to be ourselves. Usually, this feeling pops up right after being triggered by an outside source. That is when it is most important to remember that you accept yourself, and many others accept you exactly as you are. We know how it feels, so vent away. There is no need to apologize.

Sending more hugs your way!

I signed on here this morning to delete my last post, but you all already responded.  Thank you.

Like everyone here, we are surrounded by an abrasive outside world while we beat ourselves up from the inside. Last night was just a series of triggers, most were just innocent, but said while I was extra sensitive.

Nobody's fault, just the way it all happened.  It was at the end of a long day. 

Thank you all again for the support and understanding.

Chrissy, it is a beautiful ship.  There are lots of reports online.  It lost power and then the current pushed it into the bridge.  I heard of two deaths, young sailors on the main mast, and a number of injuries below.  It's a very sad tragedy.

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 18, 2025, 09:02:02 AMNobody's fault, just the way it all happened.  It was at the end of a long day. 

It happens. I didn't think anything could damage your sunny disposition. I think we were all just waiting to see you bounce back. I am happy that you can just shrug it off.  :)

Lori, I have a singular goal in life, to live my life with as much joy as I can and to share it with anyone who shares back. 

Unfortunately, there are too many joy suckers than joy sharers so it takes an extra effort to maintain a sunny disposition.

I know you share the same goals subject to similar joy suckers. 

We will have joy! ❤️

That is great philosophy. And not just because I share it.  :)

Lori, we deserve all the joy we can get!!!

This week was a little crazy, but yesterday I met up with Josie, my transgender friend from the QM2 cruise.  She has a fear of flying, so she is taking the QM2 back from NY to Southampton today.  She wanted a NYC pizza before she left so there is a pizzeria right across the street from the Stonewall Inn.  It was a perfect combination!  She included another transgender woman that she was friends with here in NYC.  They met playing online video games.  They both are in their early thirties, so the video game meet-up makes sense.

It was great to be out as three transgender women.  Despite our age differences, we had so much in common. It made me feel so at home, particularly politically.  Josie has a long-term boyfriend in Sweden, and Alice is married in Brooklyn.  It was nice to know that they also have joy in their lives.  We intend to stay in touch...but probably not with video games, at least not with me... ::)

Sounds like you had a nice time Emma.


That is wonderful.



Chrissy

It was very special Chrissy.  Like my friendships here!

I saw this on YouTube and loved it.  Clearly, YouTube knows a woman when it sees one even if the Scottish Parliament doesn't.  It blurred out the nibbles on the woman in the video...but no problem seeing a guys nipples.  I googled "topless guys playing basketball". Plenty of nipples. Obviously some nipples are more dangerous...Maybe I'll go topless in front of the US Supreme Court building or the Capitol Building.  If I get arrested for being immoral... legal point made, I must be a woman.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/y5YDh0pPdJs

This reminds me of a Dave Allen bit, about Adam and Eve.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rAH-8077Wng

I won't post a link, but there is a .org that has been supporting gotopless since 2007.
I'll let you figure that out.  ;D

To be fair... your average guy only has to see uncovered breasts and it's like focusing too much on sat-nav. They WILL drive off a cliff. :P

Great bit, Sephirah but I couldn't find a nose g-strig anywhere....It's weird that when I am dressed as a man in a tight t-shirt, no one notices but if I wear the same t-shirt as me I notice the eyes refocus.

My friend Josie sent me a picture we took at the Stonewall Inn National Museum.  It's still open in spite of Trump. Rainy day and no makeup.


          (https://i.imgur.com/E6cH3G1.jpeg)

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 24, 2025, 07:47:26 AMGreat bit, Sephirah but I couldn't find a nose g-strig anywhere....It's weird that when I am dressed as a man in a tight t-shirt, no one notices but if I wear the same t-shirt as me I notice the eyes refocus.

My friend Josie sent me a picture we took at the Stonewall Inn National Museum.  It's still open in spite of Trump. Rainy day and no makeup.


          (https://i.imgur.com/E6cH3G1.jpeg)

There are wandering eyes, aye?


Chrissy

I hope you have a terrific weekend Emma!


Chrissy

Sorry all, I haven't been online because I've had a nasty head cold that really beat the hell out of me for the last week. 

I will catch up soon.

I hope life is better now for you Emma!

Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 02, 2025, 06:56:15 AMSorry all, I haven't been online because I've had a nasty head cold that really beat the hell out of me for the last week. 

I will catch up soon.

So Glad you you are feeling a bit better. 🫂 Annaliese

Nettle tea (see Laurens blog!!)

I have also heard of Dandelion Tea being good for head colds. You crush and steep the greens, not the flowers. Don't take my word for it, as I have not tried it myself.

Thank you, Chrissy and Annaliese, for your get-well wishes, and Davina and Lori for the herbal tea ideas.

I have spent the last week floating on tea and honey.  My bladder developed a wake-up call at around 3 o'clock every morning.  Fortunately, the cough and head cold have subsided in time for me to start my two-week vacation tomorrow. 

It is much needed and I will spend the time with wine and food, and not watching the news!

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 04, 2025, 03:32:12 PMFortunately, the cough and head cold have subsided in time for me to start my two-week vacation tomorrow. 

There is nothing worse than being sick on vacation.

Have a great time!

Have a good hollybobs (bit of UK speak for you!) .

Enjoy your time off Emma!


Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 04, 2025, 03:32:12 PMThank you, Chrissy and Annaliese, for your get-well wishes, and Davina and Lori for the herbal tea ideas.

I have spent the last week floating on tea and honey.  My bladder developed a wake-up call at around 3 o'clock every morning.  Fortunately, the cough and head cold have subsided in time for me to start my two-week vacation tomorrow. 

It is much needed and I will spend the time with wine and food, and not watching the news!

I hope you have a great vacation. Rest and relaxation is always a good way to help heal the body and mind.

Get a tasty deli sandwich!

Take a nice walk!

But get the rest you need first.

Take care,


Chrissy

The focus is food, wine and long naps...😊

Emma,

I hope that you continue to have a nice time off and enjoy the pleasantries. 


Hugs,


Chrissy

Stopping by to give you a giant hug. <3

The years haven't dimmed your smile, Emma. Never forget that. *monster hugs*

Always happy to share hugs and good wishes.❤️ Have a great weekend!

OK, back in the US.  It was great being in countries where I don't speak the language. I had two weeks of ignoring the news.  I did experience wine, food, the individual beauty of a foreign country, and the genuine friendliness of the local people.  No one hated us for being American.

After travelling for two weeks, it was still good to be home...as crazy as the news is. 

Glad you had a good time. Now you will have stories to share with your students.

My grandfather always told me to travel whenever possible. He said you will learn more by traveling than by sitting in any classroom. But when your teacher has traveled and can share her experiences, it's almost the same.  :)

Just gesture and speak loudly then they will understand!!!!   The few times I went abroad were great and as you say food, wine and people as well as memories.

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 20, 2025, 09:11:54 AMNo one hated us for being American.

That's true 99.8% of the time. It's only the 0.2% who hate anyone for being anything which get all the attention in the media. Some of my favourite people are American. ;)

Quote from: davina61 on June 20, 2025, 10:32:48 AMJust gesture and speak loudly then they will understand!!!!

Ah yes, the way a subset of Brits learn a foreign language, lol. Speak more slowly, loudly, with a few simple words from said language pronounced horrifically badly, for effect. ;D

"Oi, SINYOR, UNO beer POOR FAVOOR!. I said... I don't think 'e's listenin, Tracy! UNO BEERO In a GLASSO! And wot kind of CRISPOS do you 'ave?!"

I know someone who literally said that and I almost died of embarrassment. ;D

I'm glad you had an awesome time, honey. <3

I always believe you are a guest in some ones country, so act like it and people will be hospitable, act like a tourist and the waiter will spit in your food.  Common courtesy goes a long way.

We were traveling the Basque region on both the French and Spanish sides and you could feel the tourist season starting to pick up.  I think this summer tourist season will be brutal.  You can't blame the natives for feeling overwhelmed.  They have to start balancing housing with tourism.

Common courtesy and common sense are sadly uncommon too frequently.

Emma,


Some NYC mayors seem better than others to outsiders as well as residents.  I wonder who will win the primary today for the Democrats.  We shall see!    Taxes seem high in NY.   

Chrissy

Hi Chrissy. NYC has a budget larger than Austria. It needs a manager more than a politician. That's why Bloomberg got elected for three terms. The last two were politicians and horrible managers.

My bet is Andrew Cuomo gets elected even if he has to run independently. 

Yes, the taxes are high. I guess I am climatized to it. My home, family and job is in NYC.  We bought our house 30 years ago when it was cheap.  I guess I am staying. 🤪

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 24, 2025, 08:44:22 AMWe bought our house 30 years ago when it was cheap.  I guess I am staying. 🤪

I was always curious how my parents could afford their house in Colorado. Housing prices are ridiculously high there, and both of them are on Social Security. Then I remember that they bought the house back in the 1970s. They have paid it off, remortgaged it, and paid it off again. If they were to sell it, it would be worth three times what they paid for it.

Sometimes, staying put makes more sense than moving.  :)

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 24, 2025, 08:44:22 AMHi Chrissy. NYC has a budget larger than Austria. It needs a manager more than a politician. That's why Bloomberg got elected for three terms. The last two were politicians and horrible managers.

My bet is Andrew Cuomo gets elected even if he has to run independently. 

Yes, the taxes are high. I guess I am climatized to it. My home, family and job is in NYC.  We bought our house 30 years ago when it was cheap.  I guess I am staying. 🤪

I heard that one has to pay a tax if one gets a mortgage for a residential property in NYC.  Is that true?

Chrissy taxes are crazy here but not that crazy!

We pay income tax and property tax.

I heard that one has to pay a tax if one gets a mortgage for a residential property in NYC.  Is that true?

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 25, 2025, 11:48:11 AMChrissy taxes are crazy here but not that crazy!

We pay income tax and property tax.

Well the Internet states:

The NYC mortgage recording tax (often shortened to MRT or simply the mortgage tax) is a tax levied by New York State and NYC on all new mortgage loans. It is a significant expense for homebuyers in New York City and is imposed on the recording of mortgages on real property within the city.

The New York City Mortgage Recording Tax (MRT) rate is 1.8% for loans lower than $500,000 and 1.925% for loans of $500,000 or more.

Sorry Chrissy, I thought you meant an annual tax.  I bought my last house 25 years ago so that tax is a fading memory. 😁

On Wednesday I got to celebrate Pride Month in a very special way.

I was invited to attend the graduation ceremony for the LGBTQ high school I substitute teach at.  When I showed up, I sat in the back of the hall but the principal insisted that I sit on stage with the other teachers.  He said "You are one of us now."  I was amazingly touched!

As part of the ceremony, the principal introduced each of the teachers, who stood up and were applauded and cheered...and then he called out my name calling me the "supper-sub". The students and parents applauded and cheer me as well.  I was shocked.

It really made Pride Month special for me.  I can't march in parades, wear Pride t-shirts or wave the Rainbow flag the way I wish I could but at least I can celebrate in my heart and share this experience with you all.

Happy Pride Month!

What a wonderful experience, Emma!

I do not doubt that you earned those accolades. You are a warm and wonderful woman!

Congrats.

Quote from: Emma1017 on June 27, 2025, 08:15:42 AMOn Wednesday I got to celebrate Pride Month in a very special way.

I was invited to attend the graduation ceremony for the LGBTQ high school I substitute teach at.  When I showed up, I sat in the back of the hall but the principal insisted that I sit on stage with the other teachers.  He said "You are one of us now."  I was amazingly touched!

As part of the ceremony, the principal introduced each of the teachers, who stood up and were applauded and cheered...and then he called out my name calling me the "supper-sub". The students and parents applauded and cheer me as well.  I was shocked.

It really made Pride Month special for me.  I can't march in parades, wear Pride t-shirts or wave the Rainbow flag the way I wish I could but at least I can celebrate in my heart and share this experience with you all.

Happy Pride Month!

Very nice!

Chrissy

That is truly phenomenal, Emma. Thank you for sharing it with us. It helped to make Pride Month special for me, too.

Thank you Lori, Chrissy and Pema.  It was very special for me, particularly during Pride.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while.  Sometimes the transgender pressures get too much, particularly in this environment. 

I needed to disconnect and shift into neutral.  I needed to stop thinking or at least try doing less.  I wanted to stop thinking about being transgender but that was a waste of time...I think about it every day.

To make it more frustrating, I meet with my endocrinologist last week and the blood test showed I had zero estrogen in my system.  Either the patches were defective or I have developed absorption problems.  We're going to try the non-generic but the insurance company won't release the new prescription until the end of the month.

Maybe zero estrogen (and Trump) is the cause of my funk.

Quote from: Emma1017 on July 12, 2025, 10:21:51 AMMaybe zero estrogen (and Trump) is the cause of my funk.

That would not surprise me. The generic patches (Mylan brand) did not work for me. An online search of reviews found they had changed their formulation a few years ago, and the complaints started then. My pharmacist switched me to the Grove brand, and they were better, just not enough. Zero estrogen is very surprising! I would think you were getting at least a little from them.

I hope you get it sorted quickly. It took me four years of fighting with the VA, but now all is good.

I had to fight with the insurance company to replace the generic estrogen.  My endocrinologist was a great help.

I finally took my kayak down to the ocean this morning.  I have been lazy with the heat wave we have had.  It was great to be out on the water and destressing.  It helps to know the tides or the workout will be way more exhausting...or I'll wind up in Ireland.

 Hi Emma,
Great to hear you are able to de-stress with your kayak!  I've been playing golf to de-stress.

Last year I stopped buying so much clothes but I realized it was a very cheap form of therapy for me.  ;D

Marion

Just paddle round that lump of rock and up the Severn estuary ,I will have the kettle on!!!

MM you made me laugh.  I am always saying "is it cheaper than therapy?" to justify a shopping splurge.

Davina I may stop for a cold beer at the lump of rock on my way to your house for a cuppa.  I'll bring the Brooklyn bagels. 

During my six years of therapy, I have realized that it just boils down to one simple question:

Is this really a problem, or do I just need to eat something with bacon on it?   ;D

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon and eggs.

With you Davina............hmmmmmm bacon👍.

Another NYC hot humid day today after crazy rain storms.  Thank God there is no global warming.  We're heating up because the world is flat.

Its that poison dumped in the atmosphere by airplanes to make clouds according to my friend who told me dont believe what you read on internet and then believes stuff like this she saw on internet . I told her its Quan trails of the wing tips but might as well told the garden gate!!

Davina, until this last US presidential election, I thought I knew how belligerently stupid people could be but I learned a whole new level.

Dumb is as dumb does!!!

I still love: "some people are too stupid to know they are stupid."

Some people are highly skilled but they cannot explain why they do a task in a particular way.

It is like the mom who was asked why she cut the fish exactly six inches long prior to frying.
She was clueless.  Her mom taught her how to fry fish.  It turns out that that size was just about the proper length for her mom's frying pan.

Some people know so little about something that they do not know that there is so much they do not know about that something!

Quote from: Emma1017 on July 17, 2025, 05:41:17 PMI still love: "some people are too stupid to know they are stupid."

Yes! Are you familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect)?

Quote from: Pema on July 17, 2025, 08:12:44 PMAre you familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect)?

I am now, Pema. Actually, I already knew all about it before I even bothered to look it up. Certainly explains the vast majority of my posts.

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 14, 2025, 08:40:23 PMIs this really a problem, or do I just need to eat something with bacon on it?   ;D

This is literally my mantra for life.

 The Dunning-Kruger effect!!!  Exactly Pema and DWT.  I like substituting "stupid" in their theory.  Not as clinical but far more precise a description!

Sephirah, bacon makes a happier world.  Toss in OREO's and it becomes perfect!

I heard about the floods you folks have been having in NY. It seems like the whole world has gone biblical. Are you okay, Emma?

Oreos.. ewwwww! Far too sweet and icky! They make my vampire teeth hurt, lol.

Don't worry about the biblical rain Sephirah, I met an old guy building a boat and collecting two of every animal. He didn't have a transgender woman yet so I sign on....

I only eat Oreo's during the day time so you are safe.

I just got my ok to substitute teach for the next school year.  God help those children!!!

Maybe I'll bring some Oreos.

Quote from: Emma1017 on July 19, 2025, 08:02:07 AMI just got my ok to substitute teach for the next school year.  God help those children!!!

Congrats, Emma!

He just did by inviting you back next year.  ;D

Thank you Lori. That was an amazingly nice thing to say. 😊❤️

 

For the last month or so I have been trying to figure out why I feel so lethargic and apathetic beyond the usual summer doldrums, Donald Trump and the constant media attacks on transgender women and children. 

My estrogen levels have been essentially zero for at least the last two months. I started with a doctor who specializes in LGBTQ patients back in April and she noted on my blood test that my estrogen level was extremely low.  She knew I was seeing my oncologist in the first week of July.  The second blood test definitely showed zero.

The oncologist asked if I was applying my patches regularly. I just looked at her and said, "I am transgender. Putting on that patch is religious.  I never forget to do it." She then said that I may have an absorption issue or bad generic estradiol patches.  She switched me to the name brand and my insurance company fought back...what a surprise.

Eventually, we did succeed with the insurance company but they refused to start the prescription until the end of July, so I have been running on empty all this time.  Spending some time on Dr. Google, I found that low estrogen does have a significant impact and can cause, among other things, poor sleep and fatigue.  Bingo!

I hope the new patches will reverse this otherwise I will have to start the injections again...not my favorite.

I thought I'd share this in case anyone else bumps into this.





 

Quote from: Emma1017 on July 22, 2025, 08:33:26 AMEventually, we did succeed with the insurance company but they refused to start the prescription until the end of July, so I have been running on empty all this time.  Spending some time on Dr. Google, I found that low estrogen does have a significant impact and can cause, among other things, poor sleep and fatigue.  Bingo!

---

I thought I'd share this in case anyone else bumps into this.

Emma,

Your story is very interesting to me. My endocrinologist, who is very experienced with transgender patients is working to reduce the level of estrogen. Her biggest concern is the risk of a stroke. As the strength of my patches go down, she is monitoring my mood. The goal is to have the same estrogen level that a CIS woman of my age has.

Ellen

Ellen, I should post before I have had my morning coffee.  I meant my endocrinologist, not oncologist.  Big difference. 

I am glad you brought up the risk of stroke.  I will check with my endocrinologist to see her opinion on my stroke risk.

Thats why my doc keeps on about have you checked your blood pressure and the pharmacist when I collect my patches.   

I just checked my prescription and they are being mailed out next week.  My company refuses to us any local pharmacist so now I have to wait another week.  I also got my endocrinologist to order more lidocaine for the electrolysis sessions.

I am only transgender because it is soooo trendy. ugh!

To pick up my mood, I made a stylist appointment for next week.  It does my heart good when everyone there greets me with "Hi Emma!".

 

Thankfully I got my new estradiol patches yesterday and I have my hair appointment tomorrow.  I really need to feel my gender more.  I feel like I have been drowning in social testosterone.  I have been playing the "guy" role with no break for so long with zero estrogen that I felt Emma fading away into the background.  It's like seeing things in black and white again. 

I truly miss the technicolor and I will definitely get it back!

Strange how everyone says the hormone makes changes to the brain, I feel and have noticed no change apart from a bit less "angry" . I put that down to the fact I have always been me and my straight forward thinking.

My mood feels like a combination of low hormones and male socialized overload...Fortunately, it's not irreversible!

 

Quote from: davina61 on July 30, 2025, 08:08:56 AMStrange how everyone says the hormone makes changes to the brain, I feel and have noticed no change apart from a bit less "angry" . I put that down to the fact I have always been me and my straight forward thinking.

I don't think it is changing the brain; more like the brain is responding to what it knows it is missing. When I first started on hormones, I felt that way. As if my brain and body were saying, "Ah, finally. The Good Stuff."

Then maybe my brain was getting the good stuff before, I was never blokey.

I also compare it to good gas and bad gas.  A car can run on bad gas but when it gets the good stuff, you really know the difference!

What are the best restaurants to get pizza from in NYC Emma?
Been to Joe's?

Chrissy which Joe's?  There are over 500 pizzerias in Brooklyn.  Most family owned.

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 03, 2025, 06:04:06 PMChrissy which Joe's?  There are over 500 pizzerias in Brooklyn.  Most family owned.

This one, which looks like it had a very long waiting line that wrapped around the block!

https://shaylajay.com/2024/06/joes-pizza/

Chrissy I have never been to Joes. Any place with a line like that can't be that good.  That pizzeria is in Manhattan where they are over-priced and over-rated.

 

I have to wonder what percentage of "Joe's", wind up in the pizza business.  We even have several joes pizzerias down here in the south lol

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 04, 2025, 06:45:56 AMChrissy I have never been to Joes. Any place with a line like that can't be that good.  That pizzeria is in Manhattan where they are over-priced and over-rated.

 

Okay. TY.

If you come to New York, try pizzas at a couple of places. If there is a line go to the next pizzeria without a line.  Just stay away from Domino's and other national brands.

During the summer we buy local pizza dough and make it on the grill.  Rao's is my favorite Italian sauce with fresh mozzarella and basil.  You can even buy pizza dough made in NYC on line.  The argument is the NYC water that we get from the Catskills Mountains is the key ingredient.  I have to agree.

I never get the nice round pizza pies when I do it.  They kind of look like misshapen trapezoids but they still taste great!

   

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 08, 2025, 02:28:08 PMIf you come to New York, try pizzas at a couple of places. If there is a line go to the next pizzeria without a line.  Just stay away from Domino's and other national brands.

During the summer we buy local pizza dough and make it on the grill.  Rao's is my favorite Italian sauce with fresh mozzarella and basil.  You can even buy pizza dough made in NYC on line.  The argument is the NYC water that we get from the Catskills Mountains is the key ingredient.  I have to agree.

I never get the nice round pizza pies when I do it.  They kind of look like misshapen trapezoids but they still taste great!

   

Advice for life. Not to mention that the stuff you get from those fast food places... it's like an average adult's daily calorie content in a single sitting. Not sure I want to know what's in them to make them so calorie dense.

I rarely have pizza because I really don't like tomato purée. So I don't like the sauce on them. Same reason I don't eat much Italian food in general. They love the stuff. I prefer a nice garlic and herb flatbread, with some good mozzarella, peppers, chanterelle mushrooms, and oodles (one of my favourite words) of spicy chorizo sausage. That's a close approximation of a pizza but without the sauce. And is far too delicious to be legal.

Never worry about getting the perfect shape. Your tummy doesn't care what shape it is! ;D

Quote from: Sephirah on August 08, 2025, 03:12:08 PMNever worry about getting the perfect shape. Your tummy doesn't care what shape it is! ;D

I was going to say, it doesn't matter what it looks like because I am going to chew the hell out of it anyway.  ;D

The Catskills water does taste very good.
Should be bottled and sold at the national stores, I would pay a fair price for its good taste.

Do you have more Italian / pizza places in Brooklyn than other types of food, such as Asian, etc.?

Lauren should try a white pizza (obviously with no tomato sauce).  It's topped with a flavorful garlic oil and creamy ricotta, melty mozzarella, and nutty Parmesan cheese.  Don't bother counting calories on this one!

Exactly Lori. Once you bit in, the shape doesn't matter!  Add a glass of red wine and I am one happy camper!

Chrissy I am surprised that no one has sold Catskill water yet.  They certainly sell everything else. If you are ever in Brooklyn, randomly pick any three pizzerias of the over 500 in Brooklyn and try their pizza.  Even if you don't like any of those three, try another three.  They are all different. 

Just don't stand on any lines!!!  They're just pumped up by social media. 

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 09, 2025, 09:00:31 AMLauren should try a white pizza (obviously with no tomato sauce).  It's topped with a flavorful garlic oil and creamy ricotta, melty mozzarella, and nutty Parmesan cheese.

Yes! Also pesto. We make our own pizza at home, including the truly amazing gluten-free crust. It takes forever, but it is so worth it. I like tomato sauce, too, but pesto is at least as good to me.

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 09, 2025, 09:00:31 AMLauren should try a white pizza (obviously with no tomato sauce).  It's topped with a flavorful garlic oil and creamy ricotta, melty mozzarella, and nutty Parmesan cheese.  Don't bother counting calories on this one!

That sounds extravagant. Probably right up my street. For the past few months I've only been consuming about 5-600 calories a day because food makes me nauseous a lot of the time. So I think I have room for it, lol. ;D I don't know whether or not I like Parmesan. I've only had it a few times in my life. When it comes to cheeses, I love Brie. And a British variety called Cheshire. Not Cheddar. Cheddar is a bit too rubbery for me. Cheshire is more creamy and crumbly. Very good on pizzas.

I will ask the Cheshire cat where to buy the Cheshire cheese.  She should know.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on August 09, 2025, 04:52:38 PMI will ask the Cheshire cat where to buy the Cheshire cheese.  She should know.

Does the Cheshire Cat live in Cheshire?  ;D

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 09, 2025, 05:03:27 PMDoes the Cheshire Cat live in Cheshire?  ;D

I would not be surprised if that is the case.

Mhm. That's where the whole "grinning like a Cheshire cat" comes from... in the most plausible explanation from the UK, where it originated. The phrase was in use way before Alice and her antics. Cheshire has a lot of dairy farms, and makes exceedingly good cheese. Hence, the idea of cats being happy because of all the cream and milk on offer from said farms led to the idea of grinning cats. :P

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 10, 2025, 04:26:19 PM

Who doesn't love a Cheshire Cat?

(https://i.imgur.com/kwfcdCt.jpeg)

You have matching sweaters and a matching smile!

Lori I didn't see that until you pointed it out. So funny!

I think the Cheshire Cat has a better smile...

Can't wait for the summer to be over.  I hate the heat and mosquitos love me.  Most mosquitoes die when temperatures drop below 50°F (10°C).

YAY!

I love sweater weather!

When we had vendor tables set up at state fairs and other events, we discovered Avon Skin So Soft lotion. It repels mosquitoes, just not for long periods. They have body wash and other products that have the same scent. I would put it on my face while fishing to keep the bugs away from my face.  ;D

I remember using Skin So Soft as a kid.  I got decent results but great skin!  The mosquitoes I hate are the ones at 2 am that buzz your ear. 

I almost gave myself a concussion from slapping myself...and the mosquito got away.

 

 :laugh:

While stationed in Louisiana, the joke was that the mosquitoes were so big we had to shoot them down with machine guns. Of course, the guys from Texas would chime in that these were small. In Texas, they have been known to carry away pets and small children!

"The first liar never stands a chance."   ;D

@Lori Dee

Here in Alaska the mosquitos are the State Bird.

They hibernate on our long winter nights and when the short summer starts
with 22+ hours of sun up.... they go crazy ....swarms of mosquitos.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 23, 2025, 12:14:43 PM:laugh:

While stationed in Louisiana, the joke was that the mosquitoes were so big we had to shoot them down with machine guns. Of course, the guys from Texas would chime in that these were small. In Texas, they have been known to carry away pets and small children!

"The first liar never stands a chance."   ;D

I do not like mosquitos. 

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on August 23, 2025, 01:02:22 PMHere in Alaska the mosquitos are the State Bird.

You have beaten Texas. You have won the internet. ROFL!  :laugh:

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 12, 2025, 03:10:16 PMLori I didn't see that until you pointed it out. So funny!

I think the Cheshire Cat has a better smile...

Not even close. Emma, your smile is stunning.

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 23, 2025, 08:34:24 AMCan't wait for the summer to be over.  I hate the heat and mosquitos love me.  Most mosquitoes die when temperatures drop below 50°F (10°C).

YAY!

I love sweater weather!

We don't have mosquitoes in the UK, thankfully, but I am with you all the way. We've had a bunch of heatwaves this year. I can't wait for Winter. It can't come soon enough. Lauren hates the sun! :P

No question that Alaska wins in the largest mosquitos category, Danielle.  I have friends who spent ten years there after living in Texas and they swear Alaskan mosquitos even challenge eagles for the right of way.  I'll keep my blood supply in New York.  I'd rather deal with the homeless on the subway.

Sephirah, the British mosquitos are too polite.  They ask for permission before they bite.... ;D
Also, you have an incredible skill in making me blush with your generous compliments.  Blushing helps attract the mosquitos... ::)

 

The whatever that bit my leg never asked, even with antihistamine cream it itched for days!!

Maybe a British spider.  They are known to be rude. Just ask Little Miss Muffet!

More about mosquitoes can be found at:

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250325.msg2313302.html#msg2313302

Quote from: davina61 on August 26, 2025, 02:35:48 AMThe whatever that bit my leg never asked, even with antihistamine cream it itched for days!!

When I got stung by a jellyfish in Florida, my mom made a paste with water and meat tenderizer. It relieved the itch pretty well. You can also use cortisone cream if you have it. I keep that on hand for just that reason.

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on August 23, 2025, 01:02:22 PM@Lori Dee

Here in Alaska the mosquitos are the State Bird.

They hibernate on our long winter nights and when the short summer starts
with 22+ hours of sun up.... they go crazy ....swarms of mosquitos.

That is wild to me, @Northern Star Girl. I would not have thought mosquitos would be that far up north. We don't have them in the UK, like... at all. And we are pretty far up north compared to most of the US. I do not envy you that, at all!

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 25, 2025, 03:49:31 PMSephirah, the British mosquitos are too polite.  They ask for permission before they bite.... ;D
Also, you have an incredible skill in making me blush with your generous compliments.  Blushing helps attract the mosquitos... ::)

Yeah we literally don't have them here. At least not up north. The worst we get are midges, in high summer. Another reason to hate summer lol.

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 26, 2025, 05:08:11 AMMaybe a British spider.  They are known to be rude. Just ask Little Miss Muffet!

Yeah we have very tame spiders, too, lol. Nothing like the apocalypse of venomous death that someone like @Sarah B has to deal with. We have very tame house spiders. But they make so much webs, omg. I have a contraption with a thing.. just for that. To remove all the Halloween party before it's even Halloween. They are all very delicate. Not like the "you step near me I will kill you" that some of you folks have to deal with. Miss Muffet saw a daddy longlegs. I am convinced.

(https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th/id/OIP.1nwq08c5YbyBNCjcNRSUBAHaE7?rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain&o=7&rm=3)

Quote from: Sephirah on August 30, 2025, 04:58:30 PMYeah we have very tame spiders, too, lol. Nothing like the apocalypse of venomous death that someone like @Sarah B (https://www.susans.org/index.php?action=profile;u=10596) has to deal with.

And then we have @Jessica_Rose's pet, Charlotte.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246894.msg2279108.html#msg2279108

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 30, 2025, 05:13:35 PMAnd then we have @Jessica_Rose's pet, Charlotte.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246894.msg2279108.html#msg2279108

No... just... no! I don't have a phobia of spiders but just... sometimes I am glad I live in the land where rabid squirrels are the worst thing we have to contend with!

Hi Everyone

I used to have a Daddy Long Legs in my food cupboard and I used to feed it the very small German Cockroaches!!!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@ Sephirah

The expanding world of spiders...who knew.

yes I am waiting for the spider invasion in a month or so time-----------

Sounds like an exciting horror movie.

I needed to change my avatar photo.  I couldn't get Lori's comparison to the Cheshire Cat out of my head, kind of like a "worm" photo.

I got my official email notice today that I am ok to substitute teach again...clearly they are maintaining their low standards. 

I am truly looking forward to it but I am sure there are children bemoaning the end of summer everywhere.

Hi Emma,

Good luck with subtitute teaching kids!

Marion

@Emma1017
Dear Emma;
Thank you for sharing your good news regarding being approved as a substitute teacher again.... 

Now, about your Avatar Photo, I will be eagerly watching for it.

HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 31, 2025, 03:29:18 PMI needed to change my avatar photo.  I couldn't get Lori's comparison to the Cheshire Cat out of my head, kind of like a "worm" photo.

I got my official email notice today that I am ok to substitute teach again...clearly they are maintaining their low standards. 

I am truly looking forward to it but I am sure there are children bemoaning the end of summer everywhere.

Emma, you look phenomenal in that photo. Truly.

The children will soon be glad to see you, especially when the summer weather vanishes. I always enjoyed substitute teachers.

Love the photo, Emma. That color suits you, and the Cheshire Cat has nothing on your smile. Sorry.  ;D

So glad you will be going back to teaching again. There may be kids bemoaning the end of summer, but I think there will be many very happy to see you in front of the class. "Thank God we didn't get Mr. Higgenbottom again!"  ;D

There was a great commercial for a school supply company that had a mother wheeling a shopping cart, dragging her kids behind her to the Christmas tune "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

Really made me laugh.

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 02, 2025, 08:42:28 AMThere was a great commercial for a school supply company that had a mother wheeling a shopping cart, dragging her kids behind her to the Christmas tune "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

Really made me laugh.

I love it.  :laugh:

I got an email from the stylist who helped me find a dress for my cruise last March.  She had a great quote:

 
I love it!

Emma,


Have a wonderful week!


Chrissy

Oh Chrissy, have a great week too! And throw in the month to boot!

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 09, 2025, 06:09:48 PMOh Chrissy, have a great week too! And throw in the month to boot!

Sound good, and thoughtful.

Chrissy

I am glad the summer is over.  For the last 30 years, my family has had a summer beach bungalow in Rockaway, NY, home to one of the highest concentrations of Irish Catholics in the US.  There is nothing wrong with that except it is very conservative, with outbursts of Trump supporters waving flags on their lawns.

When I thought I was cisgender, I thought I fit in...kind of...ok, not really, but I never knew why.

Now I know.

My wife and I found a comfortable compromise so we can stay together.  Anyone who has kept up with my boring monologue on this website knows that I decided that presenting as cisgender hurts less than fully transitioning and destroying the most important person in my life.  It is my firm decision, and it works, except in the summer when I feel like I am drowning in a pool of social testosterone.

During the summer, I am the guy's guy.  Everyone here knows what I mean. We have all done the role.
I actually have fun during the summer.  My wife and I laugh every day together.  She is as angry with the Trumpites as I am, but most are great neighbors.  They would do anything for you, but we know that if I came out, it would all be at an end. 

We both don't want it.

But there are those moments when I just want to scream, you all know why, but fortunately, the summer is over.  We are back in Brooklyn, with big neighborhoods and a great blend of people, who don't need to know your business. 

I got a pedicure where the women all know me as Emma and missed me.  I start teaching again at the LGBTQ school. I am going to meet up with my girlfriend, Jenn, who will tell me about her new boyfriend, and go shopping with me. 

I other words, I get back to normal and Emma gets out of hiding.

I have had a "blokey" week cleaning my workshop up to my neck (and beyond as the hair wash water was black!) in dirt, dust and car parts. Over the weekend I will be one of the hot rod girls, how does that song go? lipstick, powder and paint! Its a proper retro weekend ,pre 70 dragsters, gassers and rockabilly bands. Now which  way is the diner--------

Quote from: davina61 on September 10, 2025, 09:22:12 AMNow which  way is the diner--------

You misspelled "pub".  ;D

Stopping by to give you a giant hug, Emma. I know today is always hard for you.

And massive hugs for all my friends across the pond. Some people might try and ruin relationships, but for the common people... it's as strong as it ever was. Don't listen to all the nonsense.

<3

Thanks, Lauren.  For me, 9/11 is massively personal.  Not only did I lose many friends that day, but I continue to lose them to the cancers that have followed them even now.

I parked my car in the North Tower parking lot and hustled uptown to grab my notes for my 10 am meeting in the South Tower. I was lucky.  So many weren't.

Had a meeting with the principal at the LGBTQ school where I substitute teach, and I was warmly greeted by teachers and students while I waited outside his office.

It made me feel like part of the school and that I am in the right place. I am looking forward to the year ahead.

Sadly, their budget was cut again this year.  For example, they were given paint to paint the school halls, but no budget to hire painters, plus they cut two teaching positions.

I am trying to convince them to start a GoFundMe campaign.

I wonder if the parents would be willing to donate a Saturday to get it done.

Lori, that is a great idea!  I think I could get enough volunteers to do the job.

I will follow up with the principal tomorrow. 

Hi Emma

Have you thought of taking a vacation from your summer vacation, perhaps taking the ferry to Block Island?
Many tourists rent a bike or moped to get around the island.  I brought a Schwinn 3-speed tricycle.

Marion

MM I love Block Island but have a beach house we live in for the summer and I commute to work from there.

We moved back to Brooklyn last week. I reconnected to Emma immediately.

Part of my gender release program, going to the San Genaro Italian Festival in Little Italy with my friend Jenn.  It was good to get out again.

 

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 16, 2025, 05:23:32 PMPart of my gender release program, going to the San Genaro Italian Festival in Little Italy with my friend Jenn.  It was good to get out again.

 

(https://i.imgur.com/sukx96a.jpeg)

You are so adorable!

Thank you Lori!!!❤️

Fat and no make up...? God knows I need an ego boost.

I am just so happy to share with you all that I escaped, even if briefly....😁

I love wearing my skort for the first time.  I love having pockets!

You have a great smile and an aura of happiness about you. You put off great vibes! 😃

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😊

Quote from: Lori Dee on September 16, 2025, 08:57:47 PMYou have a great smile and an aura of happiness about you. You put off great vibes! 😃

I agree! 


Chrissy

I love it, Emma. As always, you look fantastic.

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 16, 2025, 05:23:32 PMPart of my gender release program, going to the San Genaro Italian Festival in Little Italy with my friend Jenn.  It was good to get out again.

 

(https://i.imgur.com/sukx96a.jpeg)

Looking Beautiful and Happy Sister! 💕🤗💕

Onward!

Ashley 💕

What they all say^^^^^^ looking smashing my dear.

Wow, thank you all for your very generous compliments. Not sure that I see what you all saw but I was definitely happy to be me.😊❤️

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 17, 2025, 09:52:46 AMWow, thank you all for your very generous compliments. Not sure that see what you all saw but I was definitely happy to be me.😊❤️

We Saw... You!!! 💕🤗💕

Thank you so much, Ashley💖

"There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness." - Shannon L. Alder

You will always be beautiful.

<3

 

Emma is pretty, that is for sure.

Chrissy

Chrissy, I meant the beauty of everyone here!!!!

Still not seeing mine, but that's ok. If my friends see it, I'm happy.

Quote from: Emma1017 on September 20, 2025, 05:11:04 PMChrissy, I meant the beauty of everyone here!!!!

Still not seeing mine, but that's ok. If my friends see it, I'm happy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all prisoners within the cage of our own insecurities. Institutionalised too deeply to appreciate the depth of who we are. Very few people wake up and say "I am gorgeous! The world is blessed because I walk upon it!" If they do... they probably have other issues. ;)

Don't worry about not seeing it, Emma. That's part of the human condition. That's why you have people around you who do. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on September 20, 2025, 06:09:10 PMVery few people wake up and say "I am gorgeous! The world is blessed because I walk upon it!" If they do... they probably have other issues. ;)

I do that every day!

Yes, I have other issues too. 🤪

Quote from: Lori Dee on September 20, 2025, 06:14:44 PMI do that every day!

Yes, I have other issues too. 🤪

I will make an exception in your case, Lori. Because you are gorgeous. ;D

I love you all.  You make me feel secure with my insecurities.  That defines friendship!

Sending a big cyber hug me dear.

Thank you, Davina.  Who doesn't love a good hug!!!

U recently wrote this, and I thought I would share it here:

Sometimes you just need to embrace joy when you can.

I started this story about walking through a societal minefield as a transgender woman.

Watch the news, read a newspaper, and, God forbid, go on the internet, and you find transgender women being accused of assassinations, child grooming, molestations in the ladies' room, and the collapse of Western Civilization as we know it.

What utter nonsense!

What amazing fabrications and lies!

Hateful statements are shouted with absolutely no facts to back them up. They are screamed endlessly from the mouths of bigots with the blind confidence that only monumental ignorance can support.

I want to stop hearing their voices. They say painful and hateful things that give me an emotional headache.

Like you, I feel like this assault has broken through my traditional walls of resistance. Every day, it feels like the world has added more mines to the field of hate, and I have to navigate through each of them without blowing up.

Since the U.S. Congress and the courts seem incapable of protecting me from this endless stream of hate, I have decided to replace the daily additions to their minefield with one of my own, a mimefield that makes me laugh!

It sounds silly, but I remember my theater professor suggesting that I see the audience without their clothes on to get over my fears of public performing. Seeing these bigots as mimes makes sense.

A mime is a performer who doesn't speak and uses gesture, bodily movement, and facial expressions to express themselves. So, if the media influencers and political clowns want to continue their hateful words, all I will see is their ridiculous gestures and contortions. I will laugh at their comedic ignorance and not allow myself to be baited or depressed by their words.

Their mouths will no longer make any sound, and I will laugh at their ridiculous mimes.

That doesn't mean I won't fight back, but I will do it from a position of intellectual maturity.

I will vote, I will share my beliefs with those who will listen, and I will defend myself.

But, I will also remember to periodically kick off my shoes and dance blissfully barefoot through the mimefield of hate.

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

Which is why you never dance with people holding their hands over their ears!😊

Lori's photos of the Colorado countryside inspired me to share some shots near my house, which is on a peninsula between Jamaica Bay and the ocean :

  This is bay side:  (https://i.imgur.com/zbzENKH.jpeg)

  This is the ocean side:  (https://i.imgur.com/i73jUHa.jpeg)

I climbed up on the roof for this photo.  A transgender friend that I met on the QM2 was going back to England on it: (https://i.imgur.com/Z0Keo57.jpeg)

Sorry, I couldn't get the images smaller for this posting.

Our community is inside a national park and bird preserve.  I love sharing photos and telling people this is inside New York City. They only see the Empire State Building, Times Square, and the crowded streets.


 

Great pics, Emma! I love the colors of the sunset. Fantastic photo. Thanks for sharing!

Urgh, apparently imgur is now blocked in the UK. I just get big purple rectangles saying "Content not viewable in your region".

Good job, UK. We got out a racist only to be replaced with someone with a rod so far up his rear end it's a wonder he hasn't impaled himself.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gzxv5gy3qo

Quote from: Sephirah on October 03, 2025, 03:29:17 PMUrgh, apparently imgur is now blocked in the UK. I just get big purple rectangles saying "Content not viewable in your region".

I have just switched over to a Flickr Pro account to avoid that problem. So future pics will be available to all.

We just like to ban things. It's our raison d'être.

Quote from: Sephirah on October 03, 2025, 04:44:59 PMWe just like to ban things. It's our raison d'être.

Reminds me of the old commercials that advertised:

"Feels so good, it was almost banned in Boston."

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 03, 2025, 04:49:36 PMReminds me of the old commercials that advertised:

"Feels so good, it was almost banned in Boston."

Lol. Yeah, that part of the US is closer to the UK. New England is a thing for a reason. ;D That being said... how Alabama thought naming a place Birmingham was a good idea still baffles me. Have you seen the place it's named after? People would chance alligators just to get away from the actual Birmingham. :P

I kind of have a thing for the southern US accents. One time I talked to a girl from Texas and literally just said nothing for like 50 minutes because I was so enraptured by her accent. Could only understand about 80% of what she said but I didn't care, lol. Must be like US folks listening to Scottish people. My phone bill was astronomical but whatever, lol. Some of you folks have the sexiest accents.

For everyone in England, I used the free service in imgbb to create a free album of the photos.  Please let me know if it works for you:

https://ibb.co/album/gF4dfg

Hmmm, Sephirah, Americans are suckers for a British accent.  On news TV programs here, they use British newscasters to give their reporting credibility.

I love mountain hiking and did a lot when I was younger.  I switched to scuba diving when I was a teenager because it was convenient, the ocean is right there, and I love wreck diving. 

Kind of like your gold hunting, Lori.



 

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 04, 2025, 08:09:34 AMI switched to scuba diving when I was a teenager because it was convenient, the ocean is right there, and I love wreck diving. 

Kind of like your gold hunting, Lori.

You weren't in Florida recently, were you?

https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/florida-treasure-1715-spanish-shipwreck-gold-silver-coins/

Actually, Lori, I have.  I have been a very junior partner and treasure salvor with the Mel Fisher group out of Key West for over a decade: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuestra_Se%C3%B1ora_de_Atocha).

I pixelated my male face for obvious reasons.

My buddy and I found what is called "boot bars", because sailors hid the bars of gold in their boots to avoid the Spanish tax collectors.  Two bars, two boots, one sailor...

(https://i.imgur.com/fopK6qm.jpeg)

This is a gold chalice that we found, before restoration:

(https://i.imgur.com/f9sXZYa.jpeg)

After restoration:

(https://i.imgur.com/u3o99LI.jpeg)

As a minor partner, I didn't get to keep the gold, but I did get some cool stuff like a silver bar, a cannonball, and silver doubloons.  It was relatively dangerous, so I had to retire from that kind of diving ten years ago.


These are the Imgbb photo links:
 
https://ibb.co/Hf8nBLgK
https://ibb.co/Kx7s30QH
https://ibb.co/hx9J7ZCq

My other passion is archaeology, and I have spent a few years excavating in Vindolanda on Hadrian's Wall in northern England.  This is a Roman altar that I excavated:

(https://i.imgur.com/1bQufQT.jpeg)

This is the imgbb photo link (is this working in England?)

https://ibb.co/R5Bt36f

I hope that no one thinks I am bragging.  I never talk about this much, but I felt comfortable sharing this here with friends here.  There is more to our lives than being transgender.

Oh, Emma! That is so awesome. I do love treasure hunting.

You are so right that there is more to us than just being transgender. That is why I don't mind sharing gold prospecting or treasure hunting stories. I think by sharing these stories, like Davina's hot rods, Pema's and Marion's gardens, and many more, we get a peek at the HUMAN that is behind our transition stories. We know that gender doesn't matter. That is only an expression of one side of our nature.

Thanks so much for the trust and the sharing.

Lori, thank you for saying that.  I hate bragging, but I appreciate the friendships that we all have on this site, and sharing is such a big part of it.

Emma,


You are so cool.



Chrissy

Blue squares here my dear so no pics. We all need a hobby, a passion besides transforming ourselves. When folks say to me why are you doing this at your age I reply with "what else am I going to do, sit and watch daytime TV!!" 

For my British friends, I signed up for FLICKR free and created these links.  Please let me know if it works.

On the beach:

https://flic.kr/ps/46VdQp


Treasure photos:

https://flic.kr/ps/46VdQp

Thank you, Chrissy, but only as cool as you and everyone here!😁

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 05, 2025, 09:31:31 AMFor my British friends, I signed up for FLICKR free and created these links.  Please let me know if it works.

On the beach:

https://flic.kr/ps/46VdQp


Treasure photos:

https://flic.kr/ps/46VdQp

Both links are the same and link to the album. Just FYI.

Lori did you see all six photos?  Did you even see any photos?

So frustrating. I'm going out to power wash. Easier to understand!!!

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 05, 2025, 11:14:15 AMLori did you see all six photos?  Did you even see any photos?

So frustrating. I'm going out to power wash. Easier to understand!!!

Yes, all of them show because the link goes to the album. Look at the URLs in your post; they are the same.

That isn't a big deal, but if you want to post a single picture instead of the whole album, you'll need the link to the image.

I just signed up for Flickr Pro myself, so I am still figuring it out, too.

Thanks Lori. Taking a break from power washing.  Need to give my arms a break.  Found out I'm no 40 any more.

Power washing can be hazardous.  Please be careful.


Chrissy

Thanks, Chrissy.  At least the power washer has an on/off switch that works, versus computer programs that don't...

All done for the day, too.

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 05, 2025, 02:36:18 PMThanks, Chrissy.  At least the power washer has an on/off switch that works, versus computer programs that don't...

All done for the day, too.

I often notify my computer that I am in charge. I am the Amighty Keeper of the Power Cord, and if it wants to act up, I can make it stop instantly.

It still ignores me, but I feel better after yanking the plug from the wall to prove my point.

😄

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 05, 2025, 02:43:31 PMI often notify my computer that I am in charge. I am the Amighty Keeper of the Power Cord, and if it wants to act up, I can make it stop instantly.

It still ignores me, but I feel better after yanking the plug from the wall to prove my point.

😄

That can work if the device has no battery power!

Chrissy, I can always pull the battery!!!

I have today off, so I am back to power washing.  We're supposed to get to 80 degrees Fahrenheit today (26 Celsius for the more advanced cultures...😁).

It must have been exciting diving for treasures.

Chrissy

I hope the weekend's Nor'Easter is easy on your community.

Take care.


Chrissy

Treasure hunting was always exciting, Chrissy. Gearing up itself was exciting.

After Hurricane Sandy, my community built a series of barrier dunes on the bay and ocean sides. In my basement, I have a sump pump system with a backup. Everything outside is secured and bungied down. Hopefully, that should be enough.

Thanks for asking!

I hope wind damage is minimal too for you.

Bad weather is driving up insurance rates in many parts of the country.

We can fix things, but people sometimes get hurt really bad or die.  That is sad.

At least you may not get a lot of snow from this storm.


Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 05, 2025, 12:46:28 PMFound out I'm no 40 any more.

Could have fooled me. :P You look younger than I do, Emma.

I saw some stuff on Sandy. That was wild.

Fortunately, the Nor'easter was just a windy rainstorm.  Other than a few fallen branches, we did ok.  Besides, we needed the rain!

Hi Emma,

We have received a surprisingly little wind so far.  I left some plastic pots outside and they are pretty much where I left them yesterday after putting plants into the ground for winter.

Marion

Marion, fortunately, the storm was more drama for the weather people. We only had a few branches littering the yard. The rain was actually welcome. We had a long dry spell.

I had my first sub teaching day yesterday.  It was great to see everyone again and it felt good that people were happy to see me.  Even some of the students remembered my name.

Really weird turning 70 tomorrow. I found an old photo of my dad on his 70th birthday and he looked old.  I'm just not feeling "70" and I think it is a good thing. Having a birthday sure beats not have another.

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 15, 2025, 07:14:04 AMthe storm was more drama for the weather people.

Clickbait sponsored by Mother Nature. 😁

Happy birthday, Emma!
You don't look 70. I'm 68 and I thought I was older than you!

Glad you had a great first day at school.

Keep having birthdays. We aren't done with you yet.

Welcome to the 70s club!! Same age as me now and yes I dont feel (or look) 70 apart from my knees. So its a Happy Birthday, cake and red wine time I think!!

Congratulations on reaching the 70's. It is a good age to be. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Ellen

I certainly can't complain about my age with this group of friends!!!❤️

Davina, I'm with you on the creaky knees.  They both scream at me!

Ellen, every birthday is worth it.  I have a sign in my office that reads:

                      "Carpe Diem.  You're dead a long time."

I have taken that to heart.  I love that everyone here is out living life in their own interesting ways.

Lori, the media is nothing buy clickbait lately sandwiched between drug commercials.

Tomorrow I was invited to my second bourbon tasting party.  They have upped the ante, only bourbons 90 proof or more.  I have already ordered a replacement liver from Amazon...

Starting my birthday, Friday, with a bang...or a hangover!

@Emma1017
Dear Emma:

You were hiding from me regarding your upcoming birthday on Friday October 17th.
 
Please read the following: 

      Birthday Recognition for our Members  
click Link --->   https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247093.0.html

One of the many things that we like to do here for our members on
the Forum is to officially recognize and help celebrate our members birthdays.
                                  Birthdays
          https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,317.0.html

I have noticed that many our members, especially returning members after
the New Year's Day site crash and site re-boot in January 2024 have not submitted the date
of their Birthday on their Forum Profile.

For our members personal privacy and protection of personal information
there are options other than divulging the exact date:
      1. You do not have to enter your birthday
      2. You can enter another date such as your HRT date or other significant date.
      3. You can enter your birthday date without the YEAR.
                              Format below:      
            Birthday: Year (YYYY) - Month (MM) - Day (DD)

NOTE:  If you don't wish for the YEAR to be shown and you also do not wish to have your
Forum profile to show your age....  in the format above, list the year as 1004  then all that will be shown is the Month and the Day on the Birthday Greeting postings.

Emma, if you have any questions or if you have problems with entering a desired Birthday
date on your profile, please feel free to contact me.  I will only be very glad to assist you.

Warmest Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator  Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

                                    (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif)      (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif)      (https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/icon_birthday.gif)
                                        (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png)          (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png)        (https://www.susans.org/Themes/default/images/cake.png)
                                (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-j1nFHokRHDU%2FUGAGwMtVPKI%2FAAAAAAAABcc%2F9qGbj2cwd4g%2Fs1600%2Fbirthday-smiley-face.jpg&hash=1580dd2d8356bbf20bec0c5dbb88c59caadcf698)

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 15, 2025, 07:14:04 AMReally weird turning 70 tomorrow. I found an old photo of my dad on his 70th birthday and he looked old.  I'm just not feeling "70" and I think it is a good thing. Having a birthday sure beats not have another.

Yeah... girl, I still maintain you look younger than I do. And I am 46 in like 3 weeks. Go figure. :P Must be your killer smile. :)

In case I don't get the chance... and how time difference works... happy birthday! <3 You are very much a Libra. ;D

Thanks everyone. I am ending my 69 birthday year with a bang. I am going to a bourbon tasting party. Minimum proof, 90!🤪

In the UK a bourbon is a biscuit.

(https://tse1.explicit.bing.net/th/id/OIP.BU1XSkIb8iQUXzDR2VKxKQAAAA?cb=12ucfimg=1&rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain&o=7&rm=3)

You would probably like it. It's chocolate with a chocolate cream, lol.

Enjoy your tasting! <3

Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2025, 07:32:48 PMIn the UK a bourbon is a biscuit.

(https://tse1.explicit.bing.net/th/id/OIP.BU1XSkIb8iQUXzDR2VKxKQAAAA?cb=12ucfimg=1&rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain&o=7&rm=3)

You would probably like it. It's chocolate with a chocolate cream, lol.

Enjoy your tasting! <3

Wowza! A 90-proof chocolate cookie? SIGN. ME. UP!

😆

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 16, 2025, 07:40:16 PMWowza! A 90-proof chocolate cookie? SIGN. ME. UP!

😆

Haha, not really. That would probably have most of the UK women off their trolley. It's like a... uh... custard creme, but... the chocolate version. Can't stand them, personally, but I know plenty of people addicted to the things lol.

This is a custard creme...

(https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th/id/OIP.6x7ZzXS7s8vrUhSYCHh0UQHaHa?cb=12ucfimg=1&rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain&o=7&rm=3)

I don't like either of them. This filling is not dissimilar to what's in an Oreo. It's like catnip to lots of women, apparently. The Bourbon is like the same thing, but more chocolately flavoured. These companies know how to get a lot of people's juices flowing... and those weight loss drugs, too, lol.

I have to admit that I have a slight Oreo addiction...with a huge glass of milk.  I do it in moderation, or I would be the size of a house!

Today, Oct. 18, is my second birthday.  It's the day I started HRT. I was scared and excited at the same time.  I took the pills while walking from the doctor's office to the subway in midtown Manhattan.  I didn't care what anyone thought.  I had a smile that couldn't be chiseled off as I got on the train to go home.

Happy Second Birthday, Emma!

Enjoy your day with a serving of Double-Stuff. And remember that if the package is not resealable, it is ONE serving regardless of the writing on the package.

😁

Thanks, Lori!  Today's birthday is so personal that I can only share it here.

I am an Oreo purest.  I only like the original Oreos, and I like your philosophy about what constitutes a serving.

Its the same for a tub of ice cream, it says do not refreeze so you have to eat it all!!

💕🎊🎉🎉🎉🎈Happy HRT Birthday Sister! 🎈🎉🎉🎉🎊💕  Enjoy the well deserved Oreos! 🤗

Hugs!

Ashley 🌻

Happy Rebirthday, Emma. <3

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 18, 2025, 07:45:32 AMEnjoy your day with a serving of Double-Stuff. And remember that if the package is not resealable, it is ONE serving regardless of the writing on the package.

That made me giggle. I am honestly not surprised that you girls have a weakness for this. Probably most women are the same. I guess it's why the chocolate selection box known as Cadbury Milk Tray, back in the late 80s, literally had a slogan on its ads which went "All because the lady loves Milk Tray!". Granted the ads also featured this mysterious stranger who, these days, would probably be on a list somewhere, but still...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DWt39zk00I

Davina, I love product packaging the supports our ultimate desires!!!👍

Ashley, I love birthday hugs...and Oreos!😊

Sephirah, one of the best impacts of hormones is my sudden craving for red wine and chocolates.  Breasts are still number one. 😁

Hah, I think wine is second behind my dislike of chocolate. Can't stand the stuff. It tastes like someone mixed grapes with vinegar. But then I don't like alcoholic stuff in general. My woman card doesn't have too many stamps at this point, lol. ;D Don't like ice cream either.

If I ever get a harsh break up... I'm kind of screwed. :P

Chocolate can taste very different by the way each country makes it.

Some of us would prefer Hershey's USA chocolates but would not like Lindt chocolate, etc.

Some may like a chocolate milkshake but would not eat the chocolate candy, etc.

Quote from: Sephirah on October 19, 2025, 05:50:21 PMIt tastes like someone mixed grapes with vinegar.

I don't like dry wines for that reason. They must be sweet and fruity, like me!

And it's Hershey's or Nestle's chocolate. No Lindt (that comes from my dryer), no Cadbury, or Roche. Some of that stuff doesn't even taste like chocolate. Chrissy is right.

My Favorite chocolate in the world come from a candy store in Ogunquit, Maine.  They make their own chocolates, caramel and marshmallow on site.

This is my favorite!!!

https://www.harborcandy.com/store/pc/viewPrd.asp?idproduct=12&idcategory=9

 

When I travel I often seek out candy stores in seach of chocolate.

I am a cheap date when it comes to chocolate. 
Milk Chocolate Hershey Bars, Hershey Kisses, and
Snickers candy bars.

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on October 20, 2025, 09:29:14 PMI am a cheap date when it comes to chocolate. 
Milk Chocolate Hershey Bars, Hershey Kisses, and
Snickers candy bars.

^^^^^^^
 THIS!

😋

Ooohhh, snickers!!!!  Throw in M&Ms.

I loved this video. I watched it six times. It's absolute joy in motion.

   https://youtu.be/ivlCBObXrhw?si=6G4F18w9JtlNgAdQ

March 30 next year, I will go "of counsel" with my practice. That means I only need to work 20 hours a week for the next two years. I get to pass my entire financial practice on to my son. 

I figure 40 years is enough.  I love the job, but the increasing responsibility of the practice, particularly in this environment, has taken the fun out of it.

It's time for more fun! I plan to increase substitute teaching, take longer trips, and sleep late.

March 30 is beginning to feel real, finally, to me.

Not that far away, Emma. :)

The American work ethic is something that really confuses the rest of the world, lol. You should have at least 20 cats by now, Emma!

Oh, and going back to an earlier conversation, you US girls... go try a Snickers from the UK vs the one you have over there. Same with a Kit Kat. Apparently it's completely different. To a lot of folks, US chocolate tastes like vomit. Not even kidding. I mean it all tastes like that to me but apparently there's a difference. :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2TY3pN1DE4

While living in Germany, my mother-in-law knew I was a choco-holic and bought me some Marzipan. That stuff was foul.

I do like Toblerone, which is a Swiss chocolate. For Christmas each year, I would get several tins of Pirouline. I am not a fan of hazelnut, but they aren't bad. I always keep the tins because they make great containers.

I still prefer Hershey's or Nestle's. 😁

@Sephirah

I love marzipan !!!

The Asian market Sells Japanese Kit Kats. 

My favorite is Belgian milk chocolate, but at the end of the day, I am a chocolate "whore" and will eat what is at hand in a pinch.

I taught twice in the last ten days, and it continues to make me very happy that I made the choice to teach.  Not only do some of the kids remember me and say "Hi," but some of the non-talkers from last year have started to talk to me.  That is extra special.

Quote from: Emma1017 on October 23, 2025, 04:34:05 PM{snipped text}

It's time for more fun! I plan to increase substitute teaching, take longer trips, and sleep late.

@Emma1017
Dear Emma:
I agree with "taking longer trips and sleeping late" !!!!
      AND
I wish to spend more quality time with my sweetheart, ToothFairy.❤️❤️❤️

I am 45 years old and I am very passionate about my CPA business, but frequently I am
having my hired help do more and more in my office and I am getting my work to be
reduced to being at my office 2 to 4 days a week instead of 5 weekdays and many weekends.

In my "off" time of not going into my office I am bringing important paperwork
home and working on it while in my sweats and slippers while sitting in front of
my fireplace as the weather here is quickly turning to winter.

Thank you for sharing your plans.... I fully agree.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Danielle I am so jealous.  You got smart early and made your professional life fit your personal life style...and you're 45😁.

I need to buy new comfy sweats and buy some bunny slippers!

Emma, I just noticed your new avatar. I was disappointed when you said you wanted to change it because I thought your last one was great. But this one is every bit as good. You're just photogenic, so feel free to keep sharing your photos.

Pema, I just get tired of seeing the same face all the time.  Thankfully, when I go shopping with my friend, Jenn, she insists on taking photos.  I complain, but vainly, I love seeing them. They help fight back against all the time I spend in my male persona.

She just emailed me yesterday that it's time to go shopping!

Also, thank you for the very nice compliment!!!

Today is a different kind of day. 

We set the clocks back, and... thousands of people are going to run through my neighborhood just two blocks away from my house.  Today is the NYC Marathon.  This is the first year that I don't know anyone who is running, but we will still walk up to cheer. 

The weather is perfect for running, and the crowd is always enthusiastic.

That's probably a bucket list thing for a lot of people. Kind of like the London Marathon. Insanely cool and massive respect for anyone not only capable, but willing to do something like that.

Sephira, I agree, the marathon really takes a lot of dedication. I did once when I was a teenager on a track team, when running was easier for me.  I am really impressed by older people making that commitment.  They really respond as we cheer them on.

Now, I do day hiking.  My knees say that's enough.

My wife made Oreo cheesecake cupcakes and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the last two weeks.  She is a great cook. Now, I'm doing much more hiking.  Not nearly enough. 

I'm glad we gave away all of the candy to the Halloween trick-or-treaters.  That saved my a pound of weigh easily.  The little kids are so much fun and amazingly polite.  Everyone said, "Please" and 'Thank You".