Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ok. Hello. My name is Allison R. Been here before. A lot of my c**p was lost in the Great Reset. I am glad. It was 99% just a trauma dump where everything was a crisis. I still live in crisis mode, but that's another story. One already told.

So to reintroduce myself.

I turn 56 in August. I am AMAB with 26 years in a relationship, 5 kids, and enough grandkids to field a baseball team, alternates and all. My egg cracked during Covid. I came out to my wife a year after I did to myself. To no one's surprise it did not go over well.

I have been in therapy since about 30 days after I started to figure things out. My relationship was already on shaky ground and has since completely disintegrated. She has physically been gone almost a month now. Oh have done nothing towards a transition but gro my hair and start wearing earrings again. Now that she has gone I am starting to live as myself at home. Anyone who might have some ideas on skincare, shaving, makeup, and anything else you might have advice on will be incredibly helpful.

I am glad to be back. I am also seeing that the more time passed the easier it gets to be alone again.

Well, thanks for reading.

Hugs

Allison

Welcome back Allison!



Chrissy

Thank you Chrissy. I have been missing the support, I just didn't feel I had anything to add to the forum and was tired of just taking.

ALLISON!!!

Girl, welcome back! And thank you! Damn I missed you, girl! *massive hugs*

You know you are not alone, sweetie!

Love you, girl! <3

Welcome back, Allison

Alana

Thank you Alana. I hope I can help this time.

Welcome back, Allison!

As you may know, many posts in the Beauty and How-To forums may help with the advice you seek. If you need help finding them, just yell and someone will point you in the right direction.

Since the crash, the site has changed a bit, as have some of the site policies. I will add links below that are important for new and returning members. Pay special attention to the links in RED.

Until then, if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, welcome back to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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Things that you should read

• New Members... Please Read this First (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250343.msg2295001.html#msg2295001)
• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
• Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
• Photo, avatars, & signature images (https://www.susans.org//index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
• Site Policies and stuff to remember (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,492.0.html)
• Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
• Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

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@Allison R
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Allison R on May 12, 2025, 10:50:10 PMThank you Alana. I hope I can help this time.

Girl just be you. Don't think about it that way. Just be you, and all of who that is. You help people by doing that.

Alana is a prime example. She is someone who inspires others through her own journey. You don't have to have that in mind, okay? Just be you, and be here. The rest will follow. <3

Hi Allison

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you back to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you back as well.

I know you have mentioned what has happened in the past and it has now vanished because of the crash.  It would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself so that others will know a little bit more about you that do not know you.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about returning members.

As you know Susan's members will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as you know they will do.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Back to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Allison R

Quote from: Allison R on May 12, 2025, 10:19:55 PMOk. Hello. My name is Allison R. Been here before.

Hey Allison,

Welcome back to Susan's!

~Lilis 💗

Wow. Missed this. Thank you all very much!!

Quote from: Allison R on May 12, 2025, 11:28:20 PMWow. Missed this. Thank you all very much!!

See? This is why you're back home, Allison! <3

Welcome from a newbie Allison.  I can see why you ventured back here. There is so much warmth and comfort here. I have never felt so much at home as I have here at Susan's Place. I have indeed felt that since joining here I have made some positive progress on my way forwrd in my new life. Your return was also a right step. Again welcome back. 🫂 🤗 Annaliese

Welcome back, Allison. The best advice I can provide right now is to breathe, relax, and don't be in a hurry.

Skincare - use sunblock, exfoliate and moisturize

Makeup - use as little as necessary. I went to Merle Norman and asked for some help with basic, everyday makeup. They were more than happy to show me how to properly apply makeup, and of course sell it to me!

Shaving - I was quite hirsute. Shaving was an endless battle. Electrolysis is slow, but effective. It's been years since I shaved. If you have dark hair, many people find laser hair removal to be very effective.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Welcome Back Allison!

Congrats on starting to live your true life at home and beginning to feel like expanding on what you are already doing! Thought and intent are always the first steps to making the things we want reality... all good things to you as you find your way forward!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Been a while since I posted and thought I would update. Still slow going in my transition. I am in a very unsafe environment now so even any outward presentation has been stopped. I no longer will go out with clear polish on my nails even. I still live in the same place, but with Trump as president the bigots are coming out of the woodwork. We have some new people who have rented spots on the property now too, and one of them has a confederate flag flying and is an incredible phobe. So I am a little bit leery of trying to start any medical transition yet. My luck I will be someone who has quick results I couldn't hide and I am still stuck here in Florida for awhile longer. I do have plans to move to Colorado by years end though. Fingers crossed.

Came out to my Dad. He didn't flip out, but he isn't supporting. He has been sending me regular Bible verses ever since and making sure to call me his son. He says he is accepting, but actions speak louder than words, and in one conversation there was a frightening line of talk from him. We were talking about them political landscape and he pointed out that in his travels he has seen the old German symbol from about 90 years ago everywhere and it that it can symbolize all kinds of things. He is a highly intelligent well educated man who has never been a sucker to be fleeced until 2015. Now he is a Fox News loving bigot. I guess he always was, it was just hidden since it used to make one a social pariah. Ah the good old days.

My poor puppy is having a hard time with the shake up in his life this summer with my ex no longer around. His schedule has changed and he just isn't the same as he was before she left. I can see him moping sometimes, plus fleas are horrible this year and I am having a problem keeping them under control so his skin has been bothering him as well. I have tried the topical flea and tick stuff, he can't stand collars, so even if they worked he wouldn't wear one, so next step is the 90 day flea and tick chews. Hopefully those will give him some relief.

If you followed either of my other (since abandoned) blogs you know I have had problems with employment. I am still looking for the job I want to keep, and am still having some financial difficulties, but I am at least not starving and have a roof over my head. Gotta celebrate the small victories otherwise it all feels like losses right?

The good news is that now at home I am getting to actually feel a little less uncomfortable in my own skin. And the other bit of good news is that I found better insurance that my therapist accepts and now I can start seeing her on a more often, regular, and consistent basis. That will help immeasurably.

I hope everyone has an amazing day today!!!

Hugs,

Allison

Thanks for the update!

It seems there are a few of us here migrating to the Holy Land of Colorado.  ;D

I will be moving on the 8th of July. I have a place ready and waiting. I am just tying up loose ends here before I escape. South Dakota is becoming similar to what you describe, and as such, there are just not enough services available here.

Your dad sounds exactly like mine. I have two brothers who are like that too (one is a retired Methodist pastor). When they start throwing out Bible verses, I encourage them to read Galatians 3:28-29.

Sorry to hear about your dog. Would they be able to do a "flea dip"? I don't know how long they last, but it might give the pup a chance to allow the skin to heal while trying the chews, too. I also don't know how expensive the dips are. I hope all works out for you.

Hugs!

Hi, Allison. It's lovely to meet you.

It's great to read that you're feeling more comfortable within yourself. That's got to be very helpful for working through the other challenges that Life brings your way. Tackling what's within your reach is nearly always a good next step.

I look forward to hearing more about your progress as you travel this road with us.

Pema

  @Allison R

Dear Allison:

I hope that you are staying healthy and safe.

I am wishing YOU a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY
                                        :icon_flower:  :icon_flower:    :icon_birthday:    :icon_birthday:    :icon_flower:  :icon_flower:

Have a wonderful day of Birthday Celebrations on your "special day",Tuesday, August 12th

HUGS, and my best wishes,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl
The Forum Administrator
                                  (https://i.imgur.com/sldYiP9m.jpg)

 :icon_birthday:

and may you have many more to come!

Hope your having a good time XX

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. It was quiet, which is exactly right for me right now.

Some updates. My ex called and asked if she could come home before my birthday. Sounds good, but it was just as much a realization that the grass really isn't greener situation as anything else. I told her she could. Nothing has really changed between us other than a recognition from us both that we have to approach each other differently if there is gonna be any future. I have drastically stepped back my affirming regimen. The elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving. I 100% see that she probably is masking because one doesn't just change that feeling that quickly or easily unfortunately. So, in 90 days of things are still as smooth as they are right now the subject will be brought back up. I have waited more than a half a century, another few months should be nothing. Of course my therapist is not as optimistic as I am. Not sure how to feel about that. For those who might've read my previous blog, I know she is probably right and have already accepted it to a very large degree.

On an even more personal note, and directly resulting from the previous update, dysphoria is a B. It had become background noise, still irritating but easier to put to the back of my mind. Now it is centered right between my eyes. But it is only temporary.

Well I hope everyone in the US has a wonderful Labor Day, and all my brother and sisters around the world have a great weekend.

Love and hugs

Allison

Quote from: Allison R on August 28, 2025, 08:38:27 AMThe elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving. I 100% see that she probably is masking because one doesn't just change that feeling that quickly or easily unfortunately.

It is wise to be cautious. But as they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Maybe they realized the grass is not greener and what a wonderful person you are. That can cause one to be more open and willing to listen and try to understand. Our gender issues are very complicated to understand, even for us. It is much more so for those who do not experience dysphoria. They have no frame of reference, so it is totally foreign to them.

Hopefully, they will make an effort to see things from your perspective and try to understand and accept who you truly are. If they can't even try, then good riddance. But it might be worth giving them time and opportunity to try. Just don't jeopardize yourself in doing so. You come first.

@Allison R    cc: @Lori Dee

Dear Allison:
I am so very happy to see that you again are posting on the Forum and updating your Blog Thread.

Also, I agree with the advice that Lori Dee provided . .. "It is wise to be cautious."

I can see why you could approach the renewal of your relationship would be a welcome
happening for you, but as a politician stated decades ago..."Trust But Verify"

I will eagerly continue to follow your postings and Blog activity along with your
other followers and readers.

HUGS, and wishing you success...    ❤️❤️❤️
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Allison R on August 28, 2025, 08:38:27 AMThe elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving.

I agree with your therapist, Allison and I am scared you're setting yourself up for a fall, sweetie. Whether you want this person in your life or not.. you need to be open from the start or it just isn't going to work. You shouldn't do this to you, and you shouldn't do this to her. If she still feels the same way, you are both going to get hurt... and that isn't good for either of you. She is who she is and you are who you are. Love can overcome a lot of things, but some it can't. And if it can't, you need to choose who you want to spend your energy on.

*hugs*