Community Conversation => Transitioning => Passing => Topic started by: thechilaquil on June 04, 2025, 03:25:03 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Do I pass?(ftm)
Post by: thechilaquil on June 04, 2025, 03:25:03 PM
I'm pre-T, barely 5'6, have some muscle and almost of all of the time get called "sir". I have short hair, wear male clothes, use cologne, gym constantly, bind and pack but I'm unsure if there's anything more I should do. I want to know if there's anything missing that I could do to pass even more. Please let me know.. only helpful advice pls.
Title: Re: Do I pass?(ftm)
Post by: Lori Dee on June 04, 2025, 03:31:28 PM
Hello thechilaquil,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and share your thoughts and comments. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

I don't see anything that needs improvement. "Passing" is less about appearances and more about general presentation. That is appearance (yes), but also how you walk, talk, posture when sitting or standing, and general behavior. When you have a chance, it can be fun to do some "people watching" like at a park or mall. Just notice how the guys walk, stand, gesture when talking, and so forth. Then just learn to do the same.

We would like to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html), introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

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@thechilaquil
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl
Title: Re: Do I pass?(ftm)
Post by: Sarah B on June 04, 2025, 05:15:12 PM
Hi  thechilaquil

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

You have taken a brave step by sharing your goals and the details of where you are right now.  This community understands the daily effort it takes to be seen as yourself.  Feel free to post progress notes ask questions celebrate victories or vent when things get rough.  Everyone starts from a different place yet we all learn from one another.  Your voice matters and we are happy you joined.

Men come in all shapes and sizes and being 5'6" is definitely not one to dismiss easily.  After a little research on the internet I found the following.  Actor Dustin Hoffman stands about 5'6" tall and musician Kendrick Lamar is also about 5'6" tall and I guess there are other well known males that stand at that height or shorter and they still project confidence, so just be yourself.  Keep going to the gym and focus on strength training.  By doing so you will increase overall muscle density that reads masculine.

You asked; "what more can you do?"  The answer begins with a question for you; "How far do you want to go?"  You said you are pre-T and you already bind, pack, wear cologne, keep your hair short and work out.  So if you choose to start T you can expect a deeper voice, extra muscle definition, facial and body hair growth and maybe a noticeable Adam's apple.  These changes I would presume would stop any future misgendering altogether.

If you decide to pursue T you will need informed consent from a therapist who has experience with gender matters.  A clinician will discuss goals expected effects possible side effects and health screening so you can make a safe decision.  Taking this professional step ensures your body stays healthy while your presentation grows closer to how you feel inside.

Observe how other men dress and move.  Choose the elements you like then make them your own.  Above all as I said earlier; "just be yourself."  You are already following what feels right.  Progress will continue as long as you stay patient remain dedicated and pursue what makes you happy.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@thechilaquil