Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, I haven't been doing well mentally and I've been considering being more stealth (hide that I'm transgender while passing) to try to make myself feel better. At least for a while. I just want to avoid receiving as much hostility directed towards me.

Do you have any advice or tips related to that? For context, I'm a transgender nonbinary man who presents as a man everywhere. I changed both my name and sex in all my documents. I'm on testosterone, got no surgeries yet. I'm stealth with strangers and acquaintances (including coworkers).

Would you say going stealth would help me feeling less stressed in general? Anything I should know before doing so?

Quote from: darksou on July 19, 2025, 03:41:33 PMSo, I haven't been doing well mentally and I've been considering being more stealth (hide that I'm transgender while passing) to try to make myself feel better.

Hey Darksou,

It sounds like you're going through a tough time right now. If you're not already working with a therapist, having that kind of support could be helpful as you navigate these feelings and decisions.

That said, here's my attempt at offering some peer support.

If going stealth helps you reclaim your energy, reduce trauma triggers, or find a bit more peace, it's  worth a try.

And remember, it doesn't have to be permanent.

You can always re-evaluate if feelings of invisibility, disconnection from your identity, or a loss of queer joy begin to surface.

Personally, I've chosen not to go stealth.

For me, it feels like stepping out of one closet only to enter another.

But that's just my experience, your path might look different, and that's okay too.

I hope that helps.

~ Lilis 🌷

Quote from: darksou on July 19, 2025, 03:41:33 PMSo, I haven't been doing well mentally and I've been considering being more stealth (hide that I'm transgender while passing) to try to make myself feel better. At least for a while. I just want to avoid receiving as much hostility directed towards me.

Do you have any advice or tips related to that? For context, I'm a transgender nonbinary man who presents as a man everywhere. I changed both my name and sex in all my documents. I'm on testosterone, got no surgeries yet. I'm stealth with strangers and acquaintances (including coworkers).

Would you say going stealth would help me feeling less stressed in general? Anything I should know before doing so?

If you're not disclosing that you're transgender to strangers, acquaintances, and coworkers then it sounds like you're already doing that.

It's easier to be stealth if you already pass, but from what you said I'm assuming you already do.

As far as what you should know before doing so I don't think anything really. It might just be best that you're not drawing any attention to your downstairs situation especially when using the men's room.

Besides that you should be good.