Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My name is Noelle.  This isn't my first foray into the journey of allowing my true self to be seen, but I plan on it being the last.  I always new I was "different", but back then, options and information weren't so readily available.  It also didn't help that I grew up in a overbearingly religious home.  It wasn't till I was in my mid 20's that I was able to at least learn more about myself thanks to the internet.  That was the period of my life I remember being the happiest for a time.  I bought my first set of women's clothes, makeup, and a wig.  Ill never forget that day I clumsily shaved my entire body, spent hours in front of a mirror doing my best at makeup, and then slipping into those clothes and the wig.  When I saw myself as Noelle for the first time, everything made sense.  I think i cried for hours as so much pain flowed out of me.  I wasn't "out" yet, but i spent my nights and weekends alone in my apartment as the real me, Noelle, still building up the courage to live my whole life as the me I knew I was.  Unfortunately, the world is a cruel place, and as I'm very sure too many of you know all too well.  I was outed before I was ready, and it was devastating.  I wish I had been stronger, but I wasn't, something I still regret, knowing those wasted years should have been spent being me.  Instead, I buried that part of me and resumed a "normal" life.  But always there, just beneath the surface, was the woman I knew I was.  After years I allowed myself small rebellions. Panties under my work clothes, a bra if I could hide it well enough, occasionally a bottle of wine on the weekends and a full dress up when privacy permitted.  But it just left me yearning even more for who I really am.  So here I am, hopefully not too late.  But I'm ready.  My Dr's appt to begin HRT is next week.  And I don't ever plan on looking back.  I hope this introduction isn't too long, but it felt good to get it all out.

Welcome Noelle!


It is nice you stopped by!

The official welcoming crew will stop by soon.  In the meantimes, enjoy exploring Susan's Web site.

You do share a very common situation.  I do hope everything works out well for you.


Chrissy

Hello Noelle,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for that wonderful introduction.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and share your thoughts and comments. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

Congratulations on taking your first steps! That is always an exciting time on our journey. It can be a bit scary, too, but you have it under control. If you haven't already, I would seek out a therapist with experience in gender identities. They can be very helpful in explaining things you will experience, help you through the rough times, and be someone you can vent to when needed.

We are also here to offer whatever support we can. It isn't the same as a face-to-face meeting with someone where you can discuss very personal issues. But we understand this journey and are here to help.

When you click on the HOME button, you will see a page listing all of the various sub-forums by category and topic. Each sub-forum has a description of what that forum is about, as well as any guidelines for posting.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add links below that are important for new and returning members. Pay special attention to the links in RED.

Until then, if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at    LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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Things that you should read

• New Members... Please Read this First (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250343.msg2295001.html#msg2295001)
• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
• Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
• Photo, avatars, & signature images (https://www.susans.org//index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
• Site Policies and stuff to remember (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,492.0.html)
• Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
• Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)

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@NoelleW
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

Thank you both for the warm welcome.  I did read all the rules and will make sure to abide by them.  And thank you for the advice.  I have been seeing a therapist and find myself in a very positive and hopeful frame of mind for this next step.

Hi Noelle,


Alana

Pleasure to meet you, Alana

@NoelleW

Dear Noelle:
I am always quite happy to see and to Welcome new members
that arrive here on the Susan's Place Forum.

Please make certain that you carefully read the important and informative LINKS at the end of
the Welcome Message that our Global Moderator @Lori Dee posted as a response to your
very first posting here.

If you have any questions regarding the Forum or need assistance with your profile
please message any Staff member on the Forum Moderation Team listed below: ...

  Global Moderators 
@Devlyn
@Jessica_Rose                 
@Mariah
@Sarah B
@Lori Dee
           
  Forum Administrator
@Northern Star Girl (Danielle)
            Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

I am trusting that you will have an enjoyable and happy time here on the Forum.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Until you reach 15 posts you will NOT be able to send and reply Forum private messages, also
you will NOT able to upload and post your Avatar profile picture.

Giving you a warm WELCOME to Susan's Place and the Forum
Warm Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
  The Forum Administrator

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on Yesterday at 11:28:13 AM@NoelleW

Dear Noelle:
I am always quite happy to see and to Welcome new members
that arrive here on the Susan's Place Forum.

Please make certain that you carefully read the important and informative LINKS at the end of
the Welcome Message that our Global Moderator @Lori Dee posted as a response to your
very first posting here.

If you have any questions regarding the Forum or need assistance with your profile
please message any Staff member on the Forum Moderation Team listed below: ...

  Global Moderators 
@Devlyn
@Jessica_Rose                 
@Mariah
@Sarah B
@Lori Dee
           
  Forum Administrator
@Northern Star Girl (Danielle)
            Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

I am trusting that you will have an enjoyable and happy time here on the Forum.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Until you reach 15 posts you will NOT be able to send and reply Forum private messages, also
you will NOT able to upload and post your Avatar profile picture.

Giving you a warm WELCOME to Susan's Place and the Forum
Warm Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
  The Forum Administrator

Thank you so much.  I'm loving it here.  The people are all so friendly and seem to be a treasure trove of experience and good advice.  I look forward to being a regular.

Hi, Noelle!  I am glad things are looking better for you.  There are plenty of members here who are getting up in age.  We could probably start a "Better Late Than Never" club.  You will fit right in.

Its truly inspiring to see such beautiful, brave, mature women such as yourself.  It give me much more of a sense of ease going forward.  Proof that its never too late to blossom.

Hi, Noelle. I'm another recent newcomer to Susan's Place, also in my "later" years, although I'm a believer that it's never too late to be authentic.

I'm glad you've chosen to prioritize yourself. Welcome to Susan's Place.

Pema

Its lovely to meet you Pema.  Thank you so much for the welcome.  And you right, its never too late.  This place proves that and I couldn't be happier I found it. 

Welcome Aboard Noelle!!!

Kudos to you on finding the courage to claim the life you want! Amazing things await you sister! May your every step forward be blessed!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Hi Noelle

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Thank you for your heartfelt introduction.  I want to start by acknowledging the struggle you have been through.  It takes strength to return to yourself after everything life has thrown at you and I'm glad you are here now.

I was also aware from a young age that I was different, though there were no clear answers at the time.  The information simply did not exist for people like me at the time.  I had only a couple of snippets to guide me when I made those first serious steps toward living as myself.  Over time I bought clothes and other items, but thinking about it now, I was not happy or sad.  It just felt normal, like a natural part of life.  Still, I remember crying when I left family and friends.  To live my life as me.  There was something that I suppose I could never put my finger on, not that I realized, I was finally taking a step that aligned with who I was.  That feeling never leaves you.

I will never forget the first time I fully dressed as a female and sat in a chair and saying, "this feels right".  That moment of clarity is unforgettable.  We never forget those special times that bring us happiness and show us exactly who we are.  Your memory of seeing yourself as Noelle for the first time and crying for hours, is something I understand completely.

I'm very sorry to hear about how you were outed before you were ready.  No one deserves to be forced out of hiding before they feel safe.  It's a cruel experience and you did not deserve that.  But what matters is that even after everything, Noelle was still there, quietly living in those small acts of truth, panties under your clothes, a bra when you could manage it, dressing up when it was safe.  Those I can certainly relate too.  That strength, even when it felt hidden, never went away.

Now you are stepping forward again and this time with full intention.  That takes courage.  I have never looked back on what I have done and I most certainly have never regretted what I have done.  I truly hope you find that same peace and certainty as I have in my life.

Just a small suggestion for next time, it helps to break your story into a couple of paragraphs.  It makes it easier to read and gives each part a moment to breathe.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@NoelleW

Welcome to Susan's, Noelle. I see the official welcoming committee has welcomed you.
Many of us have started latter in life, myself included. At 60, I started HRT and my journey after a lifetime of closet living and purging cycles. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you its to late to start. I am enjoying the best life I have ever had and you are entitled to enjoy living as yourself too. Congratulations on the Dr. appointment and starting your journey. The egg has cracked open!
Hugs Gina