Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well everyone I have not posted in a long time. A lot has happened in the years of transitioning and my surgeries. I enjoy reading through all the topics and comments. And a lot of you all are enjoying everything that has came from transitioning.

Me on the other hand. I have not had the enjoyable experiences. Since my surgery things were okay, but people in my life became very cold. So I decided to separate from my spouse. And went back to school and had a wonderful place and a good job. Then I had a terrible accident on my motorcycle.

While I was in the hospital getting treatment for the accident. I ended up losing my depth which is another story. After I was released I spent a better part of a year in a wheelchair. In that time I ran out of money and became homeless, took over a 1 year to get my disability, which is nowhere enough to get a place.

In this time I lost a lot of people in my life. The only person that does stay in contact with is my daughter. My step daughter has nothing to do with me at all. And I raised her from a 1yo. I was able to find a friend that their mother allowed me to stay. But the problem is she tells everyone I am trans. Which is a big problem.

I have really found isolation the best place for me at this time. I have not been in a relationship since my marriage, which I am divorced now. My daughter has informed me she is moving out of state. So that actually makes me staying here not important. So I actually have no idea where to go or what to actually do.

I am definitely not an easy person to get along with sometimes. My views on things mostly clash with people. It's not really me I respect others views but they don't respect mine. So that causes a lot of issues. You can't just find a place to fit in. So for me this here is just a different hell then the hell I left.

So no I have not had happy experience with my life since my accident. Don't get me wrong things was not bad after surgery. Things went crap after my accident.

But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread. I am done venting now!

Thanks for letting me vent

I wish I had some sage advice or words of massive encouragement for you. All I can do is send the biggest virtual hug that I can. I hope things turn around for you soon. 🤗 ❤️

Peace, love and happiness,

Jen

Thank you again for your kind words in your private message to me earlier.

And thank you for trusting us with all of this. It takes real courage to come back after a long time and lay out what the last few years have been like. I'm so sorry for how much was piled on after your accident. Transition can bring relief, but it isn't a shield against life—losing health, stability, and relationships all at once is more than anyone should have to carry.

None of what you went through "makes sense." When we're hurting, the people who love us should show up more, not less. You had every right to expect care and steadiness. Their withdrawal was not your fault—and it was inexcusable. On top of that, you were navigating a catastrophic event and a system that moves slowly; that would grind down even the most resilient. Being outed without your consent is not okay. You deserve full control over whether and when you share your story. How others treat you says everything about them—and absolutely nothing about you or your worth.

You also get to have complicated feelings about transition and about where life is right now. Many of us have chapters that don't look like the happy highlight reels, and it can feel like there's no place to fit. You're not alone in that. Respect should go both ways; it's exhausting when it doesn't. Wanting distance to protect your peace is understandable.

I hear how disorienting your daughter's move feels. I'm glad you still have each other—that thread matters. If and when you want to talk through options for where to go next, housing ideas, or how to set boundaries with people around you, this community can sit with you and think it through. We can also just listen while you vent. There's no one "right" timeline here.

I'm really glad you're here today. Surviving what you've survived is no small thing. Reaching out and putting words to this is a big step forward. Naming what you're going through turns a blur into concrete steps you can tackle one at a time to steadily improve your situation. Keep posting if you can. You don't have to figure everything out at once, and you don't have to do it alone.

@inenidok
I am very glad to see that you have started posting on the Forum again. 
It is always great joy for me to see when our members return to the site.
I am also glad that you were able to converse with @Susan ....
....here in her reply posting to you she included much wise and sage advice and counsel for you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Also in reply to your very last comment on your posting on this thread yesterday...
                    "But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen
                    section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread." 

          YES we do have a "VENT Topic:
                    ARGHHH!   https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,34.0.html
                    This is a place to get it off your chest! Problems or complaints?
                      Here's the place to air it out! 

    As you just did on your posting here:
    When you share about your disappointments, discouragements, and difficulties... be prepared for
    your readers and followers here to give you our ears to listen and our shoulders for you to
    lean on. ...  and when your share your successes and achievements we will rejoice with you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Note: You and I had a brief previous comment exchange years ago in 2018 on another thread
regarding your therapy experiences. 
            https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,242367.msg2193211.html#msg2193211
I trust that you now have been able to find and experience some good productive therapy experiences.

I also trust that your recovery from your motorcycle accident has gone well and that I hope
that your relationship with your daughter will be healed.

Again, WELCOME back to Susan's Place and the Forum. 
I am eagerly looking forward to seeing and reading your continuing postings and involvement here.

If you have any questions about the Forum always feel free to message me.
Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator   Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

cc: @Devlyn  @Lori Dee  @Sarah B  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah

Quote from: inenidok on August 16, 2025, 10:30:37 PMWell everyone I have not posted in a long time. A lot has happened in the years of transitioning and my surgeries. I enjoy reading through all the topics and comments. And a lot of you all are enjoying everything that has came from transitioning.
Me on the other hand. I have not had the enjoyable experiences. Since my surgery things were okay, but people in my life became very cold. So I decided to separate from my spouse. And went back to school and had a wonderful place and a good job. Then I had a terrible accident on my motorcycle. While I was in the hospital getting treatment for the accident. I ended up losing my depth which is another story. After I was released I spent a better part of a year in a wheelchair. In that time I ran out of money and became homeless, took over a 1 year to get my disability, which is nowhere enough to get a place. In this time I lost a lot of people in my life. The only person that does stay in contact with is my daughter. My step daughter has nothing to do with me at all. And I raised her from  a 1yo. I was able to find a friend that their mother allowed me to stay. But the problem is she tells everyone I am trans. Which is a big problem. I have really found isolation the best place for me at this time. I have not been in a relationship since my marriage, which I am divorced now. My daughter has informed me she is moving out of state. So that actually makes me staying here not important. So I actually have no idea where to go or what to actually do. I am definitely not an easy person to get along with sometimes. My views on things mostly clash with people. It's not really me I respect others views but they don't respect mine. So that causes a lot of issues. You can't just find a place to fit in. So for me this here is just a different hell then the hell I left. So no I have not had happy experience with my life since my accident. Don't get me wrong things was not bad after surgery. Things went crap after my accident.

But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread. I am done venting now!
Thanks for letting me vent

I'm sorry hear about everything you went through in your experience inenidok. It sounds like you went through a lot.

Welcome back to Susan's Place! 💓

And wishing you better days ahead.

~ Lilis 🌷

Welcome back to Susan's Place.

I, too, am sorry to hear of your troubles. But I also sense that you have an inner strength that keeps you going. Hold on to that.

It is important to remember that our lives are just a long string of experiences. We can learn from them and move forward, or stay put and stagnate. The fact that you are here proves that throughout all of your experiences, not one of them has beaten you. And they never will as long as you don't give up. Keep fighting, surviving, and making things better for yourself and those around you. Never forget that you are priceless.

Hugs!

Hi!


Welcome back inenidok!


Chrissy

Hi Inenidok

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you Back to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

I'm glad you came back and posted.  What you have been through is not just difficult.  It's overwhelming.  Surgeries, a major accident, becoming homeless, losing people who mattered and facing all of it with almost no support.  That's not something anyone should go through alone.

What you said about isolation makes sense.  When people do not respect your boundaries or your views, when they out you without permission, when they turn cold instead of standing by you, it's no wonder that keeping your distance feels safer.  That's not weakness.  That's protecting your peace.

You have been surviving through pain that most people could not handle.  That means something.  You are still standing, even if it feels like you are not sure where to go next.  That's not failure.  That's persistence.

Your daughter staying in contact matters and her move is another hit on top of everything else.  It's okay to feel disoriented and unsure.  You do not have to figure it all out right now.  You are allowed to take time.

This site does have a vent section, but what you posted already belongs here.  You spoke truthfully.  That's something people here respect.  If you ever want to talk through options or just keep sharing how it's going, this space is open to you.  You still matter.  You are still seen.  You will always be welcome here.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome Back to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@inenidok

Trigger Warning: reference to tragedies and suicide

Hi @inenidok

Oh my gosh.

You have had a series of horrible events, some as the direct result of others' cruelty, others because life itself can be cruel.

I'm not sure if this helps but you're not as alone as isolated as you may feel. I've buried 3 children, one of whom took his life in the most horrendous circumstances, and 6 months ago my brother decided to take his life. He didn't even say goodbye. He was my best friend and we chatted every day and met up at least once a week. I am still feeling a black hole in my universe.

What has happened to you with the reaction of others around you, and then the horrific motorbike crash, is just beyond awful.

Life can be so very cruel. I don't know if this helps and, to be honest, I'm still trying to cope with the loss of my brother, but eventually my coping strategy has been to find as many positive things as I can and embrace them. Sometimes that's a distraction (aka avoidance) tactic. That and a lot of therapy with a counsellor whom I see every week.

But I get the isolation thing. This community at Susan's of disparate people has become a tremendous help to me: to know I'm not alone, that my journey has value, that people listen and don't judge. To borrow from another writer, 'there is this great cloud of witnesses.'

xx

Just wanted to remind folks that inenidok may have intermittent connectivity issues, so if they don't respond right away to your kind messages, please don't take it personally or feel discouraged. Your support will mean a lot to inenidok, when they are finally able to respond.

Yes I do have hit and miss internet. And most of the time I am busy. But thanks to everyone who has responded.

I hope you don't mind, but I added an image to serve as your profile picture. You're welcome to keep it or change it out as you wish. I felt it was a good fit for what you've experienced and the progress you've made as you move forward toward your fully realized authentic self. The phoenix symbolizes renewal and strength, which seemed especially fitting.

With kind thoughts, your friend (I hope)!
— Susan