Susan's Place Transgender Resources

If you were to start transitioning again, what would you now do differently?
Or perhaps NOT do?  What would you for sure do again, because those actions were very helpful for you?

Would you have paced your transition more slowly or quickly than what you did? 
Would you have handled your relationship situations differently? 
Would you have moved?  Switched jobs earlier? 


Chrissy

I would try to get genital surgery without socially transitioning, and see if that lowered my dysphoria to tolerable levels. That way it would only affect me, and I wouldn't have put my loved ones through the stress they endured.

Hugs,

Allie

Spend less time relying on government insurance and more time in the creek digging for gold. Gather enough gold, and you can buy your own insurance, buy a therapist, a healthcare team, surgeons, and medication.

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
~ Ronald Reagan

😄

Quote from: Allie Jayne on October 05, 2025, 10:46:10 PMI would try to get genital surgery without socially transitioning, and see if that lowered my dysphoria to tolerable levels. That way it would only affect me, and I wouldn't have put my loved ones through the stress they endured.

Hugs,

Allie

I agree. My initial plan was to do all of the medical stuff first, then social transition, so my documents match my body. But it didn't work out that way, so I did the social transition to show "the powers that be" that I was serious about transition and that I should qualify for surgery. That seems to have been ignored.

I would still do everything on my list, I would just do them in a different order... if I could afford it.

I also want to do the surgical stuff that no one could see first before having to socially transition. I'm hoping that I can do some aspects of this before coming out to the world. But with today's political climate and insurance companies bailing on coverage I doubt it.juat going to continue to play the lottery and hope I get lucky enough to cover some surgical procedures. Until tell Im trying to get into jobs that have better insurance that I can hopefully use for the surgical stuff

Aside from starting much, much earlier, I think I would do things pretty much the same way.  At times it was like watching a glacier move, but there's not a lot I could have done to speed up the process.  I am happy with the order I did things in, and I am happy with the result. 

I would say starting earlier than I did.  Even though I started when I was 38, I had tried coming out almost 15 years earlier, but my family really tried to convince me at that time that I was being controlled by a demon and if I was going to live with them after I left college, I had better be a male.  However, I think that's one thing that led to my autism getting worst and I eventually collapsed (with the help of my major heat stroke) from masking my autism and my female intersex side. 

And @KathyLauren, it may feel like it's moving slowly, however, in my case, at this point, because of my weight, from my understanding, the GRS surgery needs to be at a certain BMI or lower (https://www.grsmontreal.com/en/frequently-asked-questions.html) so before I can think about getting GRS surgery, I need to get my weight down.  Plus it'll help me get a more feminine figure.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2025, 10:37:17 PMIf you were to start transitioning again, what would you now do differently?
Or perhaps NOT do?  What would you for sure do again, because those actions were very helpful for you?

Would you have paced your transition more slowly or quickly than what you did? 
Would you have handled your relationship situations differently? 
Would you have moved?  Switched jobs earlier? 


Chrissy

I think it's tough to say. There's a part of me that wishes I started this whole process earlier, but I have also had experiences that I learned from. If I didn't have those experiences it might have lead me down a very different path.

I think my short answer is no. I think I transitioned the only way I could have given my circumstances.