Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: darksou on October 11, 2025, 08:42:01 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: darksou on October 11, 2025, 08:42:01 PM
I have been struggling to figure out what to do in terms of body dysphoria as it changed recently and isn't as defined as wanting a male body, but as something more removed from both expected maleness and femaleness. I have an idea as to what to do in order to reduce social dysphoria and it will take a while for me to fix my body dysphoria as a good deal of that depends on surgeries.

I know that sterelization is something that I can get soon and then I will try to look for top surgery, but I'm unsure as to what else to do. Still deciding if I will stop HRT or if it would be more beneficial to continue with it. Also looking for ways to reduce the amount of body hair (except for my facial hair because my face makes me feel dysphoric).

Unsure if anyone else experiences this, but let me know if someone can relate to that.
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: CosmicJoke on October 11, 2025, 09:02:27 PM
Quote from: darksou on October 11, 2025, 08:42:01 PMI have been struggling to figure out what to do in terms of body dysphoria as it changed recently and isn't as defined as wanting a male body, but as something more removed from both expected maleness and femaleness. I have an idea as to what to do in order to reduce social dysphoria and it will take a while for me to fix my body dysphoria as a good deal of that depends on surgeries.

I know that sterelization is something that I can get soon and then I will try to look for top surgery, but I'm unsure as to what else to do. Still deciding if I will stop HRT or if it would be more beneficial to continue with it. Also looking for ways to reduce the amount of body hair (except for my facial hair because my face makes me feel dysphoric).

Unsure if anyone else experiences this, but let me know if someone can relate to that.

I am MtF but before I transitioned I went through a phase of wanting to be neither. I say phase because my gender identity is female so it was a temporary thing. I guess it was just my way of coping with the dysphoria?

All I know is having no sex hormones could lead to bone density problems so I think it's best to discuss that with a doctor.

I've done just about everything with facial and body hair. I had laser done on my face. I didn't have a real lot but that at least helped reduce the dysphoria. In my case I think the estrogen replacement helped thin out body hair some as well.

I'm not technically non-binary but I'm sure there's people here who are!
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: darksou on October 11, 2025, 09:14:54 PM
Quote from: CosmicJoke on October 11, 2025, 09:02:27 PMI am MtF but before I transitioned I went through a phase of wanting to be neither. I say phase because my gender identity is female so it was a temporary thing. I guess it was just my way of coping with the dysphoria?

All I know is having no sex hormones could lead to bone density problems so I think it's best to discuss that with a doctor.

I've done just about everything with facial and body hair. I had laser done on my face. I didn't have a real lot but that at least helped reduce the dysphoria. In my case I think the estrogen replacement helped thin out body hair some as well.

I'm not technically non-binary but I'm sure there's people here who are!

I have no plans of having no sex hormones, but sometimes I consider stopping testosterone and allow my body to be estrogen dominant again. The issue is mostly that my psychological health got much better from it, so I suspect it might not be a good idea to stop HRT. For context, my body can still naturally produce estrogen, so stopping it would just allow it to feminize again.

I have been shaving when I used to be fine with being very hairy (even pre-HRT) and I like my facial hair. Not sure if I will go for laser as I still want to see how I feel about that.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: Sarah B on October 11, 2025, 11:31:04 PM
Hi Darksou

I'm sure you are aware of the following and I'm mentioning these points to  help you clarify things in your own mind.

Gender identity is an inner sense of self.  It sits apart from sex.  Sex refers to biological traits such as chromosomes, hormones and anatomy.  Those traits describe a body.  They do not define the mind.  You are aiming for a body that sits away from typical male and female expectations which is valid.

A person can hold a gender identity while choosing a mix of so-called masculine and feminine traits.  For social dysphoria you can trial small changes that are easy to reverse.  Try things like, titles at work, names on key accounts and IDs you choose.  Clothing, hair and accessories that read as androgynous to you.  Keep what eases stress, drop what does not.  These choices belong to gender expression and social roles.

What you do next in your journey is ultimately up to you.  You have mentioned that you are seeking sterilisation.  I am assuming a full hysterectomy please correct me if I am wrong.  In addition you are seeking top surgery.  In many settings you do not need a surgery letter for either.  Adults can proceed under an informed consent model which WPATH recognises.  However some hospitals, insurers and surgeons require a letter.  In some cases two letters are required.  If so two independent psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists would be required.  If you can arrange it both surgeries can be done at the same time.

On HRT there are options to discuss with your clinician.  You can continue as is, lower the dose, change formulation or take a monitored pause while monitoring what happens to you while these changes take place.  If ovaries are removed you will need long term HRT.  If ovaries are retained you may not need HRT though some people still choose it for symptom control.  Something to consider is that at the moment you have testosterone and estrogen coursing through your body and this may be causing problems. So you should seek a specialised clinician who deals with hormones.

For hair you can target body zones while keeping facial hair.  Laser or IPL works best on darker hair against lighter skin.  Start with test spots to confirm safety and response.  Book a series of appointments since hair grows in cycles.  For light or fine hair use electrolysis in the highest priority areas.

I hope you find the peace you deserve and I also wish you all the best for the future.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@darksou
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: darksou on October 12, 2025, 02:21:57 AM
Quote from: Sarah B on October 11, 2025, 11:31:04 PMHi Darksou

I'm sure you are aware of the following and I'm mentioning these points to  help you clarify things in your own mind.

Gender identity is an inner sense of self.  It sits apart from sex.  Sex refers to biological traits such as chromosomes, hormones and anatomy.  Those traits describe a body.  They do not define the mind.  You are aiming for a body that sits away from typical male and female expectations which is valid.

A person can hold a gender identity while choosing a mix of so-called masculine and feminine traits.  For social dysphoria you can trial small changes that are easy to reverse.  Try things like, titles at work, names on key accounts and IDs you choose.  Clothing, hair and accessories that read as androgynous to you.  Keep what eases stress, drop what does not.  These choices belong to gender expression and social roles.

What you do next in your journey is ultimately up to you.  You have mentioned that you are seeking sterilisation.  I am assuming a full hysterectomy please correct me if I am wrong.  In addition you are seeking top surgery.  In many settings you do not need a surgery letter for either.  Adults can proceed under an informed consent model which WPATH recognises.  However some hospitals, insurers and surgeons require a letter.  In some cases two letters are required.  If so two independent psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists would be required.  If you can arrange it both surgeries can be done at the same time.

On HRT there are options to discuss with your clinician.  You can continue as is, lower the dose, change formulation or take a monitored pause while monitoring what happens to you while these changes take place.  If ovaries are removed you will need long term HRT.  If ovaries are retained you may not need HRT though some people still choose it for symptom control.  Something to consider is that at the moment you have testosterone and estrogen coursing through your body and this may be causing problems. So you should seek a specialised clinician who deals with hormones.

For hair you can target body zones while keeping facial hair.  Laser or IPL works best on darker hair against lighter skin.  Start with test spots to confirm safety and response.  Book a series of appointments since hair grows in cycles.  For light or fine hair use electrolysis in the highest priority areas.

I hope you find the peace you deserve and I also wish you all the best for the future.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@darksou


Thank you so much for the information!

By sterelization, I mean tubal ligation as it is easier to do considering my age and the laws in my country related to that. Much easier than histerectomy. Although histerectomy would be beneficial to stop me from having periods, I hadn't decided yet if I'd like to go with that and I don't want to get rid of my ovaries. I have been experimenting with my presentation online and trying to find out which clothes would work for my goals.

Top surgery will be a little more complicated because my insurance makes it harder, but not impossible. I will need the letters for this and find a time in the future to recover from the procedure.

I will talk to the doctor who prescribes me my hormones before any changes to HRT. I still need to consider if I will be okay with the changes that will come if I decide to stop it though.
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: Lori Dee on October 12, 2025, 10:05:04 AM
Quote from: darksou on October 12, 2025, 02:21:57 AMI will talk to the doctor who prescribes me my hormones before any changes to HRT. I still need to consider if I will be okay with the changes that will come if I decide to stop it though.

It is very important that you discuss with your doctor what your goals are. They need to know all of the information to make a correct decision and advise you properly on how to proceed.

They may be able to adjust your dosage to hit the perfect "sweet spot" you are aiming for. On the other hand, they may tell you that what you want to achieve is not realistic through medication alone. That could mean the letters to recommend surgery. But it could also mean that you keep the testosterone (for facial hair), but have to resort to mechanical means for body hair (shaving, laser, electrolysis, etc.).

It is also important to have realistic goals, and as you pointed out, what you will be okay with in trying to achieve them.

We wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated on how things are going for you.
Title: Re: Struggling with body dysphoria as nonbinary person
Post by: Sephirah on October 12, 2025, 05:49:45 PM
Do you mind if I ask you a question?

When you close your eyes and picture the perfect representation of who you are... what do you see?