Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As a MTF, what aspects of womanhood have you appreciated the most and least?
What about being a woman you so much like and which aspects of being a woman you do not like? 

I know that your thoughts may differ a lot depending on how long or how much progress you have made towards living as a woman.   Perhaps age matters somehow, such as when you began transitioning matters, and perhaps what part of the world you live in and how well or not transgender people are accepted there.

What do you do differently now in terms of safety too?

It may be very interesting to read the various responses that we will end up posting.

Chrissy

I seem to be more aware of my surroundings now.  We have to be safe.

I am unsure if this is annoying to me but it is a bit different.  It is the right thing to do.

Would I not have to do this as much if a man?  I think everyone needs to be careful.  A man may take things a bit more for granted.


Chrissy 

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on November 30, 2025, 07:41:18 PMAs a MTF, what aspects of womanhood have you appreciated the most and least?

Most: People, in general, are more respectful, kinder, and gentler in their interactions. And of course, the clothes! So comfy and so many possibilities of style and color.

Least: Maybe it is that people still have expectations of how women (or men) should look and behave.

Well, for sure the clothes are nice to wear.  Sizing is a bit harder at times.  Quality levels may be going down by some manufacturers but one simply has to find the clothes you want to keep.

It is nice to be with other nice women for coffee and just talking, hiking, and so on.
It is different than in a mixed or an all guy group.

Most: everything. Love the whole femininity and safety and acceptance among women.

Least: that when I'm out hiking I can no longer just pee up against any object. It requires a serious hidden spot :)

xx

I love just being accepted into girly chat. I know it's stereotypical in a way, but female clients and colleagues now engage me in these conversations which I really enjoy. Also just feeling more confident standing up us myself.

As for what I don't enjoy. I'm not sure there is anything. Maybe the expense of cosmetics, but that's optional for womanhood and manhood really!

Charlotte 😻

Love: the feeling of femininity when dressed in a beautiful outfit. Woman's clothing is just leaps and bounds better than men's clothing (which is yuck!)

Hate: I have to be a lot more conscious of my surroundings as a woman. I'm trying to assess if there a man who would take exception to me and possibly cause a problem. So it's a safety thing. I hardly ever feel exposed as a man when it comes to feeling safe. As a woman I feel more vulnerable in terms of physical safety.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on November 30, 2025, 07:41:18 PMAs a MTF, what aspects of womanhood have you appreciated the most and least?
What about being a woman you so much like and which aspects of being a woman you do not like? 

I know that your thoughts may differ a lot depending on how long or how much progress you have made towards living as a woman.   Perhaps age matters somehow, such as when you began transitioning matters, and perhaps what part of the world you live in and how well or not transgender people are accepted there.

What do you do differently now in terms of safety too?

It may be very interesting to read the various responses that we will end up posting.

Chrissy

Probably what I love the most is just being comfortable in my own skin and loving who and what I see in the mirror. I never really embraced myself this much until now.

The part I don't like is occasionally being hit on by these creepy guys I don't even like. I also dislike how in some situations people treat me like a third class citizen just because they don't know any better. I would put it this way; there's nothing easy about being a woman much less a transgender woman.

I was just telling someone today that I like doing all the girly things that I wasn't able to do as a guy.  Wearing pantyhose, lipstick, nail polish, scrunchies...

The one thing I'm not liking is how certain men do not respect women, especially those that are from nations where women are treated as second-class citizens, and when they come into my store looking for stuff and they ask me for an item, then don't believe me when I say that we don't have it, and will only accept that we are sold out of it when a male colleague tells them.

Being able to express myself the way I always wanted to. One of the first sessions I had with therapist she said she heard a lot of dysphoria about the way I express myself.

For me, it is the way that other women accept me more.  I'm included in conversations that I wouldn't have been before I transitioned.

It was particularly striking when I announced in my Unitarian congregation that I was transitioning.  Even though I didn't look any different or act any different, and everyone knew who I was and had been, the women in the congregation no longer acted in that subtle guarded way that women do with men.

I still feel sort of like an outsider, but given my life (complex PTSD), I don't think that will ever go away completely, but I feel a lot more accepted and a part of a community than I ever did with men.  I spent most of my adult life trying to figure out how to be a part of a male community, and got nowhere, with women (now) it just happens naturally.

Quote from: Asche on December 02, 2025, 06:17:12 AMthe women in the congregation no longer acted in that subtle guarded way that women do with men.

I witnessed this sort of thing yesterday. It was quite amazing to see such a physical transformation right before my eyes.

I had stopped at Walgreens to pick up a few items. There was a horrific accident at the intersection; three vehicles were destroyed, two of which were on their side. As I went to pay for my purchases, I mentioned the accident outside to the cashier. She responded in a way like she was just reciting facts that she knew. My appearance was likely well within the "uncanny valley" as I made no effort to girly up a bit to run some short errands.

When I opened my purse to take out my wallet, she noticed a pin I have on the strap. It is a rainbow flag that I got from the VA back in ancient times, when they "Proudly served all who served". Suddenly, her demeanor changed. Her posture relaxed, and her conversation became warmer and friendlier. The conversation shifted from what happened to our hopes that everyone involved is ok. It seemed like she transformed from the cashier behind the counter to a friend that I had known for a short while.

I have noticed this before. Sometimes I wonder if the assumption is that I am gay and therefore no threat to them, or if it is acceptance as being "one of the girls". I don't mind either way. I enjoy the warmer, friendlier conversations.

When it comes down to it, just being able to be me in most situations.

Finding a place like SP to open up and find Kellie.  My daughters have been amazing.
The negative is i know I will suffer at work. Not corperatlyjust each person I deal with.

As a MTF, what aspects of womanhood have you appreciated the most and least?

Most:  Having my own boobs.

Least: Not having everything to go with them.

What a great topic and thread! In public, I am only seen as female if I wear my wig, forms, and a skirt or dress, which is rare. 

Recently, I was fully dressed as femme and really interacted its people for the first time. The women were sweet and I loved feeling like one of the girls. I was called ma'am multiple times and was thrilled. Even with those Big Three extras, conversation with other women feel more connected. 

There are physical joys, too. Perfume! Can't live without it. Dangly earrings I can feel moving. Any cute footwear because unlike most of me, I see my feet frequently. Same for pretty fingernails. 

Most appreciated: presenting as myself

Least appreciated: lack of brests.

Most appreciated -  Looking in the mirror and seeing the woman I have always dreamed of becoming.

Least appreciated - Tucking, though that is fixable ultimately

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 25, 2026, 09:29:51 AMWhen it comes down to it, just being able to be me in most situations.

Exactly!  I like being able to be myself with no performance required.  I can wear nice clothes without having to avoid bright colours or floral patterns.  I can catch a woman's eye and exchange smiles without any ulterior motive being assumed, and I can chat easily with other women.

I had had to learn to be aware of my own safety.  When walking out to the car in a parking lot, i hold my keys between my fingers, like I have been taught.  As backup, I carry a pocket knife in my purse.

Quote from: KathyLauren on April 26, 2026, 07:13:06 AMExactly!  I like being able to be myself with no performance required.  I can wear nice clothes without having to avoid bright colours or floral patterns.  I can catch a woman's eye and exchange smiles without any ulterior motive being assumed, and I can chat easily with other women.

I had had to learn to be aware of my own safety.  When walking out to the car in a parking lot, i hold my keys between my fingers, like I have been taught.  As backup, I carry a pocket knife in my purse.

Kathy,


It is good to protect ourselves.  There are some strange and evil people out there.


Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 26, 2026, 07:15:30 AMKathy,


It is good to protect ourselves.  There are some strange and evil people out there.


Chrissy

There are also an awful lot more lovely people out there too, we should not forget that!

At 50 years old I never been involved in a single altercation or act of violence, even at school. Not that it doesn't happen of course but we don't need to spend our lives coiled like a ninja in case a whack job is around every corner. Know what to do but don't live in fear.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 26, 2026, 07:29:20 AMThere are also an awful lot more lovely people out there too, we should not forget that!

At 50 years old I never been involved in a single altercation or act of violence, even at school. Not that it doesn't happen of course but we don't need to spend our lives coiled like a ninja in case a whack job is around every corner. Know what to do but don't live in fear.

There are definitely nasty people out there for sure. I was attacked on two occasions in Leeds when I was boymode and not so big built. Got called f***in gay boy, hit and spat on on the bus. Then drinks thrown over me and spat on in the city centre. I'm bigger now and don't let people bother me. I hold my head high and make eye contact to maintain dominance. That keeps most trouble away.

Guess I had two choices - remain fearful or stand tall and take control. I did the latter.

Charlotte 😻

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 26, 2026, 07:29:20 AMThere are also an awful lot more lovely people out there too, we should not forget that!

At 50 years old I never been involved in a single altercation or act of violence, even at school. Not that it doesn't happen of course but we don't need to spend our lives coiled like a ninja in case a whack job is around every corner. Know what to do but don't live in fear.

I agree.  I have never had a bad experience since I came out.  I don't live in fear: carrying my keys is just something that women do.

On the other hand, I am mentally prepared to use them should the need ever arise.  That is how I came to terms with an unfortunate incident back when I was a teenager.  I am prepared to do what I wish I had done back then.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 26, 2026, 07:29:20 AMThere are also an awful lot more lovely people out there too, we should not forget that!

At 50 years old I never been involved in a single altercation or act of violence, even at school. Not that it doesn't happen of course but we don't need to spend our lives coiled like a ninja in case a whack job is around every corner. Know what to do but don't live in fear.

It is good to protect ourselves against the evil people out there.  You do not have to for the good people.

I did some police training thinking about becoming an officer.  One of the biggest pieces of advice I got was, if you look like a victim you will be a victim. When you're out and about keep your head up and keep your eyes moving.  Know what's around you and who is around you. You will always have the occasional punk that has something to prove, but most thugs don't mess with the person that is aware

Most - How I went from a shy/hermit male to an outgoing/life of the party female. I love wearing dresses that feeling of the dress or pantyhose on my freshly shaved legs is amazing.

I also loved embracing my femininity and exploring it. I love female time, love getting my hair or nails done, I love acrylic nails. I go to a lady that does nails by her house. Its some real girl time. My toes I do myself, i love gel nail polish on them.

And ladies, yes I will say it.. I love the fact, I must wear a bra (HRT gave me D cup breasts, I love my breasts).. I love wearing one, that feeling of the band around me like a warn hug, reminds me, I am a woman. A proper fitting bra is actually very comfortable to wear.

My favorite feeling was when I got to be a bride, I felt like a princess in my wedding dress.

I also love wearing heels, the higher the better, if my feet get sore, then my husband gives me a foot rub.. i love those.


What i least appreciate

I been spoken down to sometimes because I am a girl, especially mechanics.. I will never forget, this one time.. you see my father was a mechanic and I often was forced to help him, so I know a thing or two.. I they needed to sort out my car and they spoke me like i was a clueless lady. then I knew what he was talking about and I responded, ok.. then you will replace this part.. and you should have seen the look on this mechanics face.

... Often sales people will speak to my husband and ignore me.

Been felt up, if you on a train or in a crowd, often you feel someone touching my behind, as my friend says, that is part of been a lady.. sad part, but part of the package.

and also boob sweat, on hot humid days that wet feeling under my breasts, is yucky.