Community Conversation => Transitioning => Hormone replacement therapy => Topic started by: Simplycause on January 13, 2026, 08:50:25 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Advice
Post by: Simplycause on January 13, 2026, 08:50:25 PM
Post by: Simplycause on January 13, 2026, 08:50:25 PM
So, I pulled the trigger on making an appointment at a plan parenthood for the 31st to talk to the about HRT last night after reading some posts that helped ease my anxiety about it. I made the appointment and last night I had my best sleep in a long time.
Still haven't figured out the wife conversation, but this morning I discovered the term cracked egg and after reading a few things...my egg is cracked. Full epiphany.
My question is, two things. Plan Parenthood Illinois is as far as I know informed consent meaning, blood test and I can get prescribed HRT. As of right now, I'm determined to transition no matter what but I'm worried that might change as things get closer and not having my ducks at home in a roll.
So would anyone recommend maybe microdosing to make sure there's no adverse reactions to the hormones. I was reading that people who were diagnosed with gender dysphoria or trying to DIY transition really maybe didn't have Gender Dysphoria and the hormones made their depression worse. So I'm worried about that.
I'm also worried that I might end up with some physical changes before I have the conversation with my wife if I don't do that soon enough.
I feel like I'm on a speed run and either it keeps going or I crash out.
Still haven't figured out the wife conversation, but this morning I discovered the term cracked egg and after reading a few things...my egg is cracked. Full epiphany.
My question is, two things. Plan Parenthood Illinois is as far as I know informed consent meaning, blood test and I can get prescribed HRT. As of right now, I'm determined to transition no matter what but I'm worried that might change as things get closer and not having my ducks at home in a roll.
So would anyone recommend maybe microdosing to make sure there's no adverse reactions to the hormones. I was reading that people who were diagnosed with gender dysphoria or trying to DIY transition really maybe didn't have Gender Dysphoria and the hormones made their depression worse. So I'm worried about that.
I'm also worried that I might end up with some physical changes before I have the conversation with my wife if I don't do that soon enough.
I feel like I'm on a speed run and either it keeps going or I crash out.
Title: Re: Advice
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 13, 2026, 09:20:10 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on January 13, 2026, 09:20:10 PM
@Simplycause
Dear Justin:
Thank you for your message and writing about your HRT plan and your desires.
Based on reading the experiences of many of our members over many years here on the Forum it is
apparent to me that instead of 2nd guessing about your possible HRT dosages and how your body
might react, in my opinion my best advice is to do the following 2 things.
1) FIRST, with your doctor's help find a Gender Therapist and make appointments to discuss
your transition desires.
You may even consider that you and your wife have a few joint sessions.
2) SECONDLY, after discussions with a Gender therapist and regarding HRT, my best advice is
to see your doctor and perhaps get referred to a specialist such as an Endocrinologist
that can best and expertly manage anything to do with hormones.
I have never been a proponent of Microdosing, you can't easily partially transition to see if
you like the results. That is why a Gender Therapist is important so that together you can
explore your deepest feelings about all of this before starting HRT under the supervision of
a qualified hormone doctor. Based on your health exam and blood testing you will then receive
the best care and best advice.
I am wishing your success and happiness in your life plans. Please keep your updates coming.
HUGS and Warmest regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
Dear Justin:
Thank you for your message and writing about your HRT plan and your desires.
Based on reading the experiences of many of our members over many years here on the Forum it is
apparent to me that instead of 2nd guessing about your possible HRT dosages and how your body
might react, in my opinion my best advice is to do the following 2 things.
1) FIRST, with your doctor's help find a Gender Therapist and make appointments to discuss
your transition desires.
You may even consider that you and your wife have a few joint sessions.
2) SECONDLY, after discussions with a Gender therapist and regarding HRT, my best advice is
to see your doctor and perhaps get referred to a specialist such as an Endocrinologist
that can best and expertly manage anything to do with hormones.
I have never been a proponent of Microdosing, you can't easily partially transition to see if
you like the results. That is why a Gender Therapist is important so that together you can
explore your deepest feelings about all of this before starting HRT under the supervision of
a qualified hormone doctor. Based on your health exam and blood testing you will then receive
the best care and best advice.
I am wishing your success and happiness in your life plans. Please keep your updates coming.
HUGS and Warmest regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
Quote from: Simplycause on January 13, 2026, 08:50:25 PMSo, I pulled the trigger on making an appointment at a plan parenthood for the 31st to talk to the about HRT last night after reading some posts that helped ease my anxiety about it. I made the appointment and last night I had my best sleep in a long time.
Still haven't figured out the wife conversation, but this morning I discovered the term cracked egg and after reading a few things...my egg is cracked. Full epiphany.
My question is, two things. Plan Parenthood Illinois is as far as I know informed consent meaning, blood test and I can get prescribed HRT. As of right now, I'm determined to transition no matter what but I'm worried that might change as things get closer and not having my ducks at home in a roll.
So would anyone recommend maybe microdosing to make sure there's no adverse reactions to the hormones. I was reading that people who were diagnosed with gender dysphoria or trying to DIY transition really maybe didn't have Gender Dysphoria and the hormones made their depression worse. So I'm worried about that.
I'm also worried that I might end up with some physical changes before I have the conversation with my wife if I don't do that soon enough.
I feel like I'm on a speed run and either it keeps going or I crash out.
Title: Re: Advice
Post by: Lori Dee on January 13, 2026, 10:49:32 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on January 13, 2026, 10:49:32 PM
I agree with Danielle. I was told by my Endocrinologist that micro-dosing is not a good idea for someone who wants to fully transition*. For non-binary or intersex people, it can be a viable option for their circumstances.
She put it bluntly: If you want breasts, do not microdose. If you do not have enough of the hormone in your system, the results will be minimal and can stunt future growth. It took four years for them to figure out my correct dose for my biology, and I believe that stunted my growth.
If you are taking the prescribed dose, your provider can accurately assess your body's response to the hormone. If any mood changes occur, you will notice them in about a week or so. Physical changes take months to START after your hormone levels are where they need to be.
That brings us to discussions with your wife. Sooner is better, but only when you are ready. Seeing a therapist first can help you figure out what to say and how to say it. The physical changes are very slow, so you have plenty of time.
You'll be fine. This process isn't new. It has been tested over and over for decades. You have many decades of real-life experience right here if you have questions. Everyone's body is different. Everyone's goals are different. Medications in different countries are different. But the journey is very similar.
Relax and go easy on yourself. This is not a sprint, it's a lifelong marathon. Just buckle in and enjoy the ride.
She put it bluntly: If you want breasts, do not microdose. If you do not have enough of the hormone in your system, the results will be minimal and can stunt future growth. It took four years for them to figure out my correct dose for my biology, and I believe that stunted my growth.
If you are taking the prescribed dose, your provider can accurately assess your body's response to the hormone. If any mood changes occur, you will notice them in about a week or so. Physical changes take months to START after your hormone levels are where they need to be.
That brings us to discussions with your wife. Sooner is better, but only when you are ready. Seeing a therapist first can help you figure out what to say and how to say it. The physical changes are very slow, so you have plenty of time.
You'll be fine. This process isn't new. It has been tested over and over for decades. You have many decades of real-life experience right here if you have questions. Everyone's body is different. Everyone's goals are different. Medications in different countries are different. But the journey is very similar.
Relax and go easy on yourself. This is not a sprint, it's a lifelong marathon. Just buckle in and enjoy the ride.
Title: Re: Advice
Post by: Paulie on January 14, 2026, 12:23:33 AM
Post by: Paulie on January 14, 2026, 12:23:33 AM
I'm with Danielle and Lori, slow down and find a therapist. If the therapist tells you what you need to do and that you need to transition, find a new one. You want one that listens and helps you figure out what you need to do.
You're not looking for a therapist to confirm what you're feeling at the moment. You're looking of one that will help you understand what's best for you in the long run. Like Lori said it's a marathon, you want to be on the right path.
Don't rely on Planned Parenthood, some of their offices will just promote an agenda. When you're ready, see your doctor or an Endocrinologist. They are better equipped to handle your health and wellbeing. You'll need checkups and labs, and someone capable of understanding the lab results. There is more involved than just estrogen and testosterone levels. Don't mess around with this.
Danielle and Lori's advice about you wife is very good advice, take it.
Best wishes,
Paulie
Title: Re: Advice
Post by: Pema on January 14, 2026, 01:02:01 PM
Post by: Pema on January 14, 2026, 01:02:01 PM
Hi, Justin.
I'm 61 years old and I'm not much further along than you. It was only about 11 months ago that it occurred to me that I might be transgender. It very quickly became obvious.
The first thing I did was to talk to my wife about what I was experiencing. I didn't say, "I think I'm transgender;" I just shared with her the feelings I was having and the observations of myself that I'd been accumulating. We've been together for 18 years, so she knows me better than anyone ever has, and it was very valuable to get her feedback. It was through those conversations that it became clear. I was extremely fortunate that she was and is very supportive.
The next step was gender therapy. I found a decent, qualified counselor in my community and began working with her. As Paulie mentioned above, I wanted someone who wouldn't just tell me what I wanted to hear. In that respect, I think she was a good match for me. She made me work at convincing her, so I dug deep and ended up convincing us both.
During those 3 or so months of therapy, I began laser treatment for my facial hair. The dysphoria of seeing it was mild but also felt like something I could start working at eliminating. Somewhere in there, I had an annual physical exam, and I told my primary doctor that I was transgender and what I was doing. I felt that it was important that she be aware and involved as necessary.
After getting the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, I began HRT. I chose to pursue it through my primary doctor because she knows my medical history better than anyone else - except for my wife who was also a primary doctor and helped many transgender patients transition. Between the two of them, I felt like I had a solid team to advise and monitor me.
My body has always been very sensitive in multiple ways, so we knew there was a chance that the anti-androgen and estradiol could affect me differently from the average person. One specific risk is that spironolactone lowers blood pressure, and mine is already quite low. For these reasons, we agreed to start at a very low dose - a quarter of the typical starting dose - for the first month. After that month, seeing no effects (of any kind), we increased the dose to half the typical starting dose. Still with no effects (except possibly some increase in emotional intensity), we increased to the full starting dose for the third month - which is still low.
I'm now in the final week of that third month of HRT, and I can tell you that my breasts have been tender for 2 or 3 weeks. There is no doubt that they are increasing in volume. So, despite the low dosage and being only 3 months in (and really only 1 at the full starting dose), I'm seeing changes. My wife confirms it.
So, I agree with everything said above recommending that you:
this* = Becoming who you were meant to be - your true self. It's critical to remember that this is your mission. You're not trying to emulate anyone or anything; you're discovering who you really are and how to be that person completely.
Through it all, don't forget to enjoy every moment. You've made an amazing discovery that will open up your life to experiences you never imagined possible. Even when it's difficult or unpleasant, it's an opportunity to grow and expand.
We will be here to support you in whatever you choose. Please keep us updated.
Love,
Pema
I'm 61 years old and I'm not much further along than you. It was only about 11 months ago that it occurred to me that I might be transgender. It very quickly became obvious.
The first thing I did was to talk to my wife about what I was experiencing. I didn't say, "I think I'm transgender;" I just shared with her the feelings I was having and the observations of myself that I'd been accumulating. We've been together for 18 years, so she knows me better than anyone ever has, and it was very valuable to get her feedback. It was through those conversations that it became clear. I was extremely fortunate that she was and is very supportive.
The next step was gender therapy. I found a decent, qualified counselor in my community and began working with her. As Paulie mentioned above, I wanted someone who wouldn't just tell me what I wanted to hear. In that respect, I think she was a good match for me. She made me work at convincing her, so I dug deep and ended up convincing us both.
During those 3 or so months of therapy, I began laser treatment for my facial hair. The dysphoria of seeing it was mild but also felt like something I could start working at eliminating. Somewhere in there, I had an annual physical exam, and I told my primary doctor that I was transgender and what I was doing. I felt that it was important that she be aware and involved as necessary.
After getting the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, I began HRT. I chose to pursue it through my primary doctor because she knows my medical history better than anyone else - except for my wife who was also a primary doctor and helped many transgender patients transition. Between the two of them, I felt like I had a solid team to advise and monitor me.
My body has always been very sensitive in multiple ways, so we knew there was a chance that the anti-androgen and estradiol could affect me differently from the average person. One specific risk is that spironolactone lowers blood pressure, and mine is already quite low. For these reasons, we agreed to start at a very low dose - a quarter of the typical starting dose - for the first month. After that month, seeing no effects (of any kind), we increased the dose to half the typical starting dose. Still with no effects (except possibly some increase in emotional intensity), we increased to the full starting dose for the third month - which is still low.
I'm now in the final week of that third month of HRT, and I can tell you that my breasts have been tender for 2 or 3 weeks. There is no doubt that they are increasing in volume. So, despite the low dosage and being only 3 months in (and really only 1 at the full starting dose), I'm seeing changes. My wife confirms it.
So, I agree with everything said above recommending that you:
- Include your wife to the degree that you are able as soon as you are able,
- Seek gender therapy to help you work out what is best for you,
- Involve your primary care doctor before starting HRT so that they are aware and tuned in,
- Take it slowly; there's no hurry, and this* is a step-at-a-time process,
- Everybody is different, so you have to find out who you are and what you need,
- Some people are different in ways that might accelerate things; you could be one,
- There are likely to be changes that you didn't anticipate; moving slowly will help prevent those from overwhelming you (and others in your life).
this* = Becoming who you were meant to be - your true self. It's critical to remember that this is your mission. You're not trying to emulate anyone or anything; you're discovering who you really are and how to be that person completely.
Through it all, don't forget to enjoy every moment. You've made an amazing discovery that will open up your life to experiences you never imagined possible. Even when it's difficult or unpleasant, it's an opportunity to grow and expand.
We will be here to support you in whatever you choose. Please keep us updated.
Love,
Pema