Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi Everyone:

Something that I read recently was interesting and not something I personally thought much about but I would be interested in hearing what you have to say.

Are you dreaming of having a traditional wedding.  You know white dress (or whatever your style is), first dance etc?  Where would you like to have it?

I hope you don't think this is totally off the wall but I thought it an interesting subject.

Gill

I wouldn't care either way. Whichever way my partner wants it would be ok. That's probably just a guy thing though :)

Although I think I would not be into some alternative ceremony where we stand around barefoot and a shaman burns hemp. But I doubt I'd be with a woman who was into that stuff anyway; we wouldn't have much in common.

(This is not to rule out the more traditional burning of hemp-like products on the fire escape, which, knowing my friends, would definitely be a part of any party I threw.)

Dennis

Hi All -

I was thinking about if you were wanting to renew your wedding vows as well.

Hey Dennis -

You're wedding sounds like a hoot.

Gill

There are waypoints in every persons life called "Rites of Passage"  in so called primitive societies these are well identified and celebrated as the important events they are.  Apparently if these waypoints are not noted - it results in psychological damage (I cannot quote where I read this, but it was a scientific study referred to in a reputable publication - New Scientist I think).

These waypoints vary in importance:  Becoming an adult, getting a job etc - one of the most important ones is the marriage ceremony.

Deep down I suspect everyone values tradition - so a traditional wedding ceremony is very very important.

I am not putting down other forms of marriage ceremony - they would of course be chosen by participants & have special meaning to them.   

Its when two people just decide to "shack up"   that is damaging I think

rana

Having come just shy of marriage (I fell apart just before) we were going for a rather gothic/fantasy feel... Black was the favored color for her dress.

My own thoughts, no surprise, mesh with this pretty well. But such wishful thinking is not often the subject of my thoughts these days...

My wife and I are about to renew our vows. We have discussed attire for it and agreed on 'traditional' attire on the outside. However she has chosen my nylons and teddy she wants me to wear under my tux. She's also trying to find a pair of fem shoes that could pass for either sex.  ;D

I think I'd love it - I look at the wedding gowns at the local thrift store all the time (until my SO shoos me away - some of them are so beautiful!) but I also think the nervousness and, yes, maybe even outright nauseous fear, would keep me from enjoying it as much as I'd like.

My two previous weddings were nervewracking - the first one: fairly large, traditional, etc. made me so nervous I was literally shaking in front of the alter.  The second was easier, just family in my parents back yard (you have to pay for it yourself the second time around, my parents told me) but I was still nervous enough to want a second shot of bourbon just before the ceremony!

Both my wives looked very beautiful on our wedding days and I remember feeling happy and, yes, envious of them.

Hi All,

Being on my second marriage I have to say women diffenantly rule how this stuff goes down.  I do not personally believe in the institution of marriage at all...but the wife has her religious convictions and comes from a strong religious family so married we did.  I had sworn off marriage after the first wife. But well, like I said the women rule this stuff. lol

I tried to talk her into letting me be barefoot and in my jeans, not even my mom ( who opposed the wedding) was gonna go for that! She flew out 3500 miles and made damn sure I was presentable LOL  But the wife had it all taken care of anyway! ::)

Then we jumped into a limo and off to Atlantic City we went, and I took charge of the honymoon, barefoot, beach, sand, hotel , jacuzzi, casino etc.  Yep, that's the reality of wedding days!


Don't get me wrong my mom loves my wife to death today...but she had never met my wife until right before the wedding.

Peace,

Taylor

my fiancee and i are just in the works of planning it ours out. i can't believe how much there is to a wedding! we are planning on going mostly traditional b/c of the dream she had of a wedding since she was young (as well as my idea of how it should go down). i would prefer a more traditional italian wedding, but that's A LOT of money spent on food  :o!

i agree with what taylor said about about the woman ruling it all. i don't think it's unreasonable or too much responsibility for them b/c it is the bride and grooms wedding day, but ultimately, i believe it's a lot about the bride: her dress, hair, makeup, flowers, being given away, etc.

i want my fiancee to have the wedding she always dreamed of, but it is A LOT of planning!

Quote from: wolfie on June 08, 2006, 12:42:27 PM
i agree with what taylor said about about the woman ruling it all. i don't think it's unreasonable or too much responsibility for them b/c it is the bride and grooms wedding day, but ultimately, i believe it's a lot about the bride: her dress, hair, makeup, flowers, being given away, etc.

Of course it's the woman.  Who has a ring before the wedding even takes place?  The woman.  One ring to rule them all...  ;D

Melissa

true true... but we just let you think that. j/k.

But who do you think really is in charge after your married. ;)

Melissa

well, i suppose i'll be finding out pretty soon!  :o

although all men believe that we're in control, somewhere (REALLY deep down) we know that it's the wife that is.

"your father may be the head of the house hold, but i'm the neck, and i can make the head turn anyway i want"
-my big fat greek wedding-

hey Milessa,

I am no doubt in charge, but let me tell ya how i got here, see I have my wife think, that I am only thinking that I am in charge, as she is allowed to believe that she is in charge, thinking she is fooling me...but really It is I that have her fooled. >:D

Now I know, it is hard to believe that in the 2000's that a man is truly the ruler of his roost, king of his castle and all that good stuff,, but the truth is I RULE because ....well I am a brat! ;D 

Peace,

Taylor

That's just what she leading you to believe Taylor.  >:D  If men say they're in charge, they're either lying or denying.

Melissa

Oligarchy > Monarchy :P

Melissa,

See exactly what I mean... I have her believing I am in denial, and yet I am fully aware that she thinks she has me fooled, when in fact I do have her fooled .....hey I   even have you fooled into thinking I am in denial or lying.... >:D

Peace,

Taylor ;D

poetry taylor! very nicely done, could have said it better myself. and sneaky to.

-tino-

If you feel you need to play such complicated mind games to assume control, then you are obviously not truly in control.  :icon_flamed:

Melissa

hmmm...
yes that was a good burn

well, i don't really have much to say to that...

touche!

HOWEVER,

for me personally i kind of like having her in control (or atleast letting her think she is). and men don't play mind games, we control them!  :icon_boogy:

-tino-

Quote from: wolfie on June 14, 2006, 02:14:37 PM
HOWEVER,

for me personally i kind of like having her in control (or atleast letting her think she is). and men don't play mind games, we control them!

Really??? >:D   I'll have to ask Amy about that one and see what she says.  :icon_nervious:

Melissa

hahaha!! oh, VERY evil of you! i thought you said in another post you wanted to be a lilly, white and innocent, don't change on me now!

-tino-


Posted at: June 14, 2006, 02:25:54 PM

---

my god, case and point, especially for me...

women are REALLY good at controlling situations!

I think I will jusrt leave this one alone!  8)


Posted at: 16 June 2006, 06:06:01[/size]

---

Hmm I am not so cool after all. I told Tino a long time ago he is dominant in two places. I pretty much get the rest or we share. (Oh~ when I work for him & in bed)  >:D

i love you honey, we're equal and neither one of us controls the other more or less. i'm saying that in generally, yes men think they are more in control, and often are b/c women don't put themselves out there to be (for starters).

don't be upset, look at how cute i am!  :icon_cute:

love, your tino!

Gill
Tino / Wolfie misqouted me a little. I have never dreamed of any kind of wedding. If I did horses & a beach would be involved. Yes our weddingin April will be somewhat traditional. I will wear white (MUCH TO MY gRANDMOTHER'S DISMAY i'm sure). The men will wear suits & the bridesmaids will be all gussied up. Differences include my father has 'passed' so my younger brother will give me away. We ARE going tomarry on the beach (just up from where Tino proposed). My daughter will be 14 at the time & is my maid of honour. We will have power point pics looping in reception hall(equipment already ther so pics will be a great conversation piece). Very few people, few family will be there b/c its a remote location &/or they are 'transphobic'.  I see the rest as traditonal, dancing, trowing the garter etc. Thanks for asking. Is there a reason you brought up tradional weddings? Just curious.
& oh yeah we are having it in Tofino, Vancouver Island Canada. Its a beautiful place. Check the net.
Cheers ~Amy/aka/Spike



Oh hon are trying to say I dont put myself out there? I know you are not. I love you & you are cute. I like the way the power is in our relationship. We do share it pretty fairly (usually). Cant wait to see you guys when I get off work it has been a very long night. And no dear I am not mad!  ::) I can be cute too! ;)

You have to have some hawt single women there at your wedding Tino, for your single FtM friend on the motorbike.

Dennis

Dennis ABOSUTELY! I have a couple of hot single friends in the wedding party plus?? There will be others!
~Spike

Dennis,

you think i'd forget about you man? don't you worry, we'll get you all hooked up with one (maybe two!) hotties. what better place to meet a woman!

-Tino-