Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Do you think it is a compliment if someone says to you, "You look very feminine, considering you are transitioning from a guy."?

I said thank you when I heard that a few years ago, and I believe it was said with good intentions, and it was nice to hear.  I was not sure if the last part of the intended compliment effectively negated the first part.  It perhaps would more so now than when I was early in my transition. 

@ChrissyRyan
Yes indeed, compliments are always gladly accepted with a returned smile and expressing a Thank You"

I answered your question in more detail on your Blog thread.
             https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=252712.msg2325632#msg2325632     

HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 10:23:49 AMDo you think it is a compliment if someone says to you, "You look very feminine, considering you are transitioning from a guy."?

I said thank you when I heard that a few years ago, and I believe it was said with good intentions.  I was not sure if the last part of the intended compliment effectively negated the first part.  I wished that last part was left off the statement.  It might be similar to hearing, "you look really nice, considering for some many years you were rather plain looking."

There's a little bit of a back handed compliment element to it but all I would hear is that you look feminine and roll with that!

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on Today at 10:43:36 AM@ChrissyRyan
Yes indeed, compliments are always gladly accepted with a returned smile and expressing a Thank You"

I answered your question in more detail on your Blog thread.
             https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=252712.msg2325632#msg2325632     

HUGS, Danielle

Okie dokie!

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 10:23:49 AMDo you think it is a compliment if someone says to you, "You look very feminine, considering you are transitioning from a guy."?

I said thank you when I heard that a few years ago, and I believe it was said with good intentions, and it was nice to hear.  I was not sure if the last part of the intended compliment effectively negated the first part.  It perhaps would more so now than when I was early in my transition. 

Quote from: Stottie Girl on Today at 11:49:07 AMThere's a little bit of a back handed compliment element to it but all I would hear is that you look feminine and roll with that!

Thanks for your thoughts on this!

Quote from: Stottie Girl on Today at 11:49:07 AMThere's a little bit of a back handed compliment element to it but all I would hear is that you look feminine and roll with that!

I agree. Some people have no filter.

I had a woman stare at my boobs and call me "Sir."
So I hit her with my purse! (Just kidding! I wanted to, though.)

Hi All

As Danielle said:

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on Today at 10:43:36 AMYes indeed, compliments are always gladly accepted with a returned smile and expressing a Thank You

I agree whole hardheartedly, everyday conversations and actions when one encounters them smile and say thank you. They certainly leave you with a warm and contented feeling.

Hugs
Sarah B

I agree it was a back handed complaint. It was a complaint non the less. Depending on the generation it may be the best you will get. If o were to show my parents Kellie I know my dad will have a figurative stroke, but the vezt i can hope for from my mom is ' you look so feminine ". . Don't be discouraged i back handed complimen is still a compliment.  I love you for you and I think you're amazing

I would have taken that statement as an observation rather than a compliment, and, even though I am not sensitive to people clocking me, I would have been somewhat annoyed that they thought they had the right to assess and comment about me. I would likely have returned their 'compliment' in kind.

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 10:23:49 AMDo you think it is a compliment if someone says to you, "You look very feminine, considering you are transitioning from a guy."?

I said thank you when I heard that a few years ago, and I believe it was said with good intentions, and it was nice to hear.  I was not sure if the last part of the intended compliment effectively negated the first part.  It perhaps would more so now than when I was early in my transition. 

I think the first part is definitely a compliment. The "considering you are transitioning from a guy" part seems unnecessary to me. Usually people are pulling from stereotypes or biases when they make statements like that.

I say just take what resonates and leave what doesn't.