Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PM
About 4 weeks ago, at the age of 61, I reacted to a very stressful situation by suddenly wanting to crossdress to escape it. Why my brain chose that way to escape I have no idea, but I am not actually surprised, the clues were there had I been looking. I had no idea I was hiding it.
I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.
I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.
I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.
I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Sephirah on March 13, 2026, 06:17:41 PM
Post by: Sephirah on March 13, 2026, 06:17:41 PM
Welcome to the site, sweetie. You are safe and welcome here.
Some folks will be along shortly to give you the do's and don'ts of the site, but let me say thank you for introducing yourself to us and... you will find a bunch of people who can relate to you. <3 Jump in and make yourself at home, okay?
Some folks will be along shortly to give you the do's and don'ts of the site, but let me say thank you for introducing yourself to us and... you will find a bunch of people who can relate to you. <3 Jump in and make yourself at home, okay?
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Pema on March 13, 2026, 06:22:07 PM
Post by: Pema on March 13, 2026, 06:22:07 PM
Hi, Philippa. Welcome to the community.
It must just be that age. I emerged from nowhere at the age of 61 last year.
I'm so glad you feel safe and happy. I hope that you'll feel comfortable continuing to explore this aspect of yourself.
Again, welcome!
It must just be that age. I emerged from nowhere at the age of 61 last year.
I'm so glad you feel safe and happy. I hope that you'll feel comfortable continuing to explore this aspect of yourself.
Again, welcome!
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Susan on March 13, 2026, 06:24:03 PM
Post by: Susan on March 13, 2026, 06:24:03 PM
Philippa,
Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm glad you found us.
First — what you're describing is more common than you might think. In the trans community, there's actually a term for this moment — it's called your "egg cracking." It's that point where something you've been carrying without knowing it finally breaks through to the surface. Stress doesn't *create* something that isn't there. What it often does is crack open a door that's been held shut for a long time. You said yourself the clues were there. Stress didn't invent those clues. It just finally gave you permission to look at them.
The fact that you felt safe and right when you presented as female — that's worth sitting with. Crossdressing as pure escape tends to relieve the stress and then lose its pull when the stress passes. What you're describing sounds different. You're not describing relief from something. You're describing arrival at something. Those are very different experiences.
You're 61, and I want to say something about that directly: there is no expiration date on self-discovery. Many of us here came to this later in life. Some much later. The door opens when it opens, and the only thing that matters is what you do once you're standing in front of it.
You don't need to have answers right now. You don't need to decide anything on a timeline. What you're doing — exploring, being honest with yourself, reaching out — that's exactly the right pace. There's no rush and there's no test.
Take a look around the forums. You'll find others here who came to this in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. You are not alone in this, and you are not late.
We're glad you're here, Philippa.
With Love and Support!
— Susan 💜
Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm glad you found us.
First — what you're describing is more common than you might think. In the trans community, there's actually a term for this moment — it's called your "egg cracking." It's that point where something you've been carrying without knowing it finally breaks through to the surface. Stress doesn't *create* something that isn't there. What it often does is crack open a door that's been held shut for a long time. You said yourself the clues were there. Stress didn't invent those clues. It just finally gave you permission to look at them.
The fact that you felt safe and right when you presented as female — that's worth sitting with. Crossdressing as pure escape tends to relieve the stress and then lose its pull when the stress passes. What you're describing sounds different. You're not describing relief from something. You're describing arrival at something. Those are very different experiences.
You're 61, and I want to say something about that directly: there is no expiration date on self-discovery. Many of us here came to this later in life. Some much later. The door opens when it opens, and the only thing that matters is what you do once you're standing in front of it.
You don't need to have answers right now. You don't need to decide anything on a timeline. What you're doing — exploring, being honest with yourself, reaching out — that's exactly the right pace. There's no rush and there's no test.
Take a look around the forums. You'll find others here who came to this in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. You are not alone in this, and you are not late.
We're glad you're here, Philippa.
With Love and Support!
— Susan 💜
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Sarah B on March 13, 2026, 06:24:45 PM
Post by: Sarah B on March 13, 2026, 06:24:45 PM
Hi Phillipa
My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
Thank you for sharing something so personal. It takes courage to speak openly about experiences like this and you should know that doing so shows real strength. Sometimes stressful moments bring hidden feelings to the surface and that can be confusing, so if you want to understand why this happened it may help to talk with a therapist who can guide you through it calmly and without judgement.
It is also important to remember that there is nothing wrong with cross dressing. Many people explore clothing or expression in different ways and it does not mean anything is wrong with them. What matters most is how you feel inside. If presenting as female brought you a sense of safety and peace then that feeling deserves to be respected while you explore what it means for you.
Take your time with this. You do not need to rush to any label. The most important thing is learning what helps you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. That is always a worthwhile path to follow.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in other forums. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com or me at SarahatSusans@proton.me
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Northern Star Girl @Lori Dee
@PhilippaRees
Things that you should read
My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
Thank you for sharing something so personal. It takes courage to speak openly about experiences like this and you should know that doing so shows real strength. Sometimes stressful moments bring hidden feelings to the surface and that can be confusing, so if you want to understand why this happened it may help to talk with a therapist who can guide you through it calmly and without judgement.
It is also important to remember that there is nothing wrong with cross dressing. Many people explore clothing or expression in different ways and it does not mean anything is wrong with them. What matters most is how you feel inside. If presenting as female brought you a sense of safety and peace then that feeling deserves to be respected while you explore what it means for you.
Take your time with this. You do not need to rush to any label. The most important thing is learning what helps you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. That is always a worthwhile path to follow.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in other forums. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com or me at SarahatSusans@proton.me
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Northern Star Girl @Lori Dee
@PhilippaRees
Things that you should read
- New Members... Please Read this First (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250343.msg2295001.html#msg2295001)
- Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Site Policies and stuff to remember (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,492.0.html)
- Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,216851.0.html)
- Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
- How to Contact Forum Staff Members (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246913.0.html)
- Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
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Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Stottie Girl on March 13, 2026, 06:27:45 PM
Post by: Stottie Girl on March 13, 2026, 06:27:45 PM
A big hello from me Philippa.
Nice to have you with us.
Nice to have you with us.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Lori Dee on March 13, 2026, 06:34:25 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on March 13, 2026, 06:34:25 PM
Hello Philippa,
Welcome to Susan's Place!
We are happy that you have joined us and look forward to getting to know you, as much as you are comfortable sharing.
Feel free to browse the forums and add your experiences too. We all learn from each other.
Welcome to Susan's Place!
We are happy that you have joined us and look forward to getting to know you, as much as you are comfortable sharing.
Feel free to browse the forums and add your experiences too. We all learn from each other.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Rochelle on March 13, 2026, 06:49:13 PM
Post by: Rochelle on March 13, 2026, 06:49:13 PM
Welcome Philippa, you are welcome and we are happy you found us here. 💚
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Alana Ashleigh on March 13, 2026, 07:30:57 PM
Post by: Alana Ashleigh on March 13, 2026, 07:30:57 PM
Hi Philippa
Glad you're here
Alana
Glad you're here
Alana
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Ciara on March 14, 2026, 04:26:47 AM
Post by: Ciara on March 14, 2026, 04:26:47 AM
Hi Phillipa,
It's lovely to meet you. I know that feeling so well......feeling "safe and right".
You have come to a safe space Phillipa. I'm so happy you are here.
Welcome ❤️.
Ciara.
It's lovely to meet you. I know that feeling so well......feeling "safe and right".
You have come to a safe space Phillipa. I'm so happy you are here.
Welcome ❤️.
Ciara.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 14, 2026, 09:28:09 AM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 14, 2026, 09:28:09 AM
Hi!
Welcome Philippa!
Chrissy
Welcome Philippa!
Chrissy
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Dances With Trees on March 14, 2026, 11:04:02 AM
Post by: Dances With Trees on March 14, 2026, 11:04:02 AM
A pleasure to meet you, Philippa! Welcome to Susan's Place.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: tgirlamg on March 14, 2026, 02:23:47 PM
Post by: tgirlamg on March 14, 2026, 02:23:47 PM
Quote from: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PMAbout 4 weeks ago, at the age of 61, I reacted to a very stressful situation by suddenly wanting to crossdress to escape it. Why my brain chose that way to escape I have no idea, but I am not actually surprised, the clues were there had I been looking. I had no idea I was hiding it.
I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.
I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.
Welcome Aboard Phillips!
Kudos on recognizing that perhaps changes may need to be made to make your life one that will serve the needs of the soul within!... A gender therapist is a great resource in sorting things out!... In the end, it is not seeking the proper label to affix to yourself but rather, how you need to structure your life to make it an experience filled with connection, meaning and fulfillment for you...
Fear not where any of this may take you... move into this process with a spirit of adventure and anxious anticipation for whatever new discoveries lay ahead! You have landed in a wonderful spot here with loving people with open hearts... people who have taken on these similar challenges and found/are founding their way to a life well lived... you will find this a great place to be heard, seen and understood as you find your way forward!
May Your Journey Be Blessed!
Onward Brave Sister!
Ashley 💕
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 14, 2026, 04:22:32 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 14, 2026, 04:22:32 PM
Please return often Philippa, as there is much that can be learned and shared here.
Plus a lot of nice people.
Chrissy
Plus a lot of nice people.
Chrissy
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Dawn Kellie on March 14, 2026, 05:27:59 PM
Post by: Dawn Kellie on March 14, 2026, 05:27:59 PM
Hello and welcome
This id a great place and very welcoming
This id a great place and very welcoming
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 15, 2026, 07:09:11 AM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 15, 2026, 07:09:11 AM
Thank you all for your kind words of support and welcome. I have read them all several times and they have given me a lot of comfort.
So much has happened in such a short time that I have been a bit overwhelmed by it all.
That stress doesn't create clues is very helpful and its reassuring to hear someone actually say it.
I think that I have stepped through the door and it is already closing behind me.
So many new clues have emerged since the start of this.
I was away for a long time when this happened but now I am home the pull of my new clothes is stronger than ever.
I have already told 2 of my closest friends what happened. I am not ashamed of what happened.
My outfits were not complete so may have looked a little odd and more likely to make someone judge or laugh, but I went out anyway.
I think my new outfits are amazing, how have women kept that a secret from men for so long.
The first person I told was my regular counselor, while I was away. It made her cry that I trusted her with such a big thing. She will give me good support until I find a gender specialist.
I have no idea what I am or where I am going with this but it doesn't actually matter. I am happy to admit that I am questioning and that has allowed me to be myself with complete freedom for the first time in my life. I am not going back.
Finally for now, Ashley thank you for calling me sister, it hadn't actually occurred to me that someone might call me that.
Thank you all again.❤️
So much has happened in such a short time that I have been a bit overwhelmed by it all.
That stress doesn't create clues is very helpful and its reassuring to hear someone actually say it.
I think that I have stepped through the door and it is already closing behind me.
So many new clues have emerged since the start of this.
I was away for a long time when this happened but now I am home the pull of my new clothes is stronger than ever.
I have already told 2 of my closest friends what happened. I am not ashamed of what happened.
My outfits were not complete so may have looked a little odd and more likely to make someone judge or laugh, but I went out anyway.
I think my new outfits are amazing, how have women kept that a secret from men for so long.
The first person I told was my regular counselor, while I was away. It made her cry that I trusted her with such a big thing. She will give me good support until I find a gender specialist.
I have no idea what I am or where I am going with this but it doesn't actually matter. I am happy to admit that I am questioning and that has allowed me to be myself with complete freedom for the first time in my life. I am not going back.
Finally for now, Ashley thank you for calling me sister, it hadn't actually occurred to me that someone might call me that.
Thank you all again.❤️
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 15, 2026, 07:14:17 AM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 15, 2026, 07:14:17 AM
Oh and I bought my first heeled shoes yesterday.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: tgirlamg on March 15, 2026, 07:51:48 PM
Post by: tgirlamg on March 15, 2026, 07:51:48 PM
Phillippa!
Well Done Girl!!!... Telling people in your life is a courageous step forward that tests the waters a bit and gives you the opportunity to see that the reactions from others can be highly positive and nowhere near the fear based imagery we can carry for a lifetime... No mobs chasing you with torches and pitchforks... just people giving back to you in the spirit of honesty and connection you offer them as you allow them to know you at newer and deeper levels!... We can come to see that true strength lies in finding the courage to be vulnerable to others, and to life... 🌻
I hear in your words the sound of someone not concerned about the door closing behind them because the correct direction of travel is always onward!... I look forward to watching as your life begins to bloom for you in new ways and amazing new discoveries are made! 🌻
Onward Brave Sister!
Ashley 💕
Well Done Girl!!!... Telling people in your life is a courageous step forward that tests the waters a bit and gives you the opportunity to see that the reactions from others can be highly positive and nowhere near the fear based imagery we can carry for a lifetime... No mobs chasing you with torches and pitchforks... just people giving back to you in the spirit of honesty and connection you offer them as you allow them to know you at newer and deeper levels!... We can come to see that true strength lies in finding the courage to be vulnerable to others, and to life... 🌻
I hear in your words the sound of someone not concerned about the door closing behind them because the correct direction of travel is always onward!... I look forward to watching as your life begins to bloom for you in new ways and amazing new discoveries are made! 🌻
Onward Brave Sister!
Ashley 💕
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Northern Star Girl on March 15, 2026, 10:13:44 PM
Post by: Northern Star Girl on March 15, 2026, 10:13:44 PM
@Philippa
Dear Philippa:
Welcome to Susan's Place.
I see that you have been Warmly Welcomed by our Forum Staff and other members that have
provided you with lots of information that will help you to navigate safely around the Forum.
I also noticed that you joined Discord yesterday. Please note that I gave you some important
Links in my Welcome Message there on Discord that will most likely be of interest to you
given the information in your introduction postings.
Below is the Discord Link to my message there.
https://discord.com/channels/133110726066700288/1189987572995342439/1482933857316503604
Any questions that you have you can feel free contact my at my
Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com
I am wishing you happiness and success in your journey.
Warmly,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
Dear Philippa:
Welcome to Susan's Place.
I see that you have been Warmly Welcomed by our Forum Staff and other members that have
provided you with lots of information that will help you to navigate safely around the Forum.
I also noticed that you joined Discord yesterday. Please note that I gave you some important
Links in my Welcome Message there on Discord that will most likely be of interest to you
given the information in your introduction postings.
Below is the Discord Link to my message there.
https://discord.com/channels/133110726066700288/1189987572995342439/1482933857316503604
Any questions that you have you can feel free contact my at my
Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com
I am wishing you happiness and success in your journey.
Warmly,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Jillian-TG on March 16, 2026, 06:33:48 AM
Post by: Jillian-TG on March 16, 2026, 06:33:48 AM
Quote from: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PMAbout 4 weeks ago, at the age of 61, I reacted to a very stressful situation by suddenly wanting to crossdress to escape it. Why my brain chose that way to escape I have no idea, but I am not actually surprised, the clues were there had I been looking. I had no idea I was hiding it.Welcome. May I ask if I am understanding correctly that you dressed in women's clothing for the first time at age 61? Or was it something you have tried many years before and you came back to it. I'm just curious. But every path and journey is unique and there is no right or wrong way. The only way is your way.
I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.
I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.
Welcome sister.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 16, 2026, 07:07:09 AM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 16, 2026, 07:07:09 AM
Ashley thank you for your kind words, I felt a bit tearful after reading them.
Everyone that I told about this said, without exception, that they were honoured that I trusted them with something so personal. They are all people that I care about greatly so I knew they would probably be OK with it but to hear what they said brought me much closer to them. Once I knew how I was feeling I knew that I had to tell them.
I just need a way to tell the rest of the world now.
And you are right there was no mob with pitch forks, how did you know I was thinking that way, lol
Everyone that I told about this said, without exception, that they were honoured that I trusted them with something so personal. They are all people that I care about greatly so I knew they would probably be OK with it but to hear what they said brought me much closer to them. Once I knew how I was feeling I knew that I had to tell them.
I just need a way to tell the rest of the world now.
And you are right there was no mob with pitch forks, how did you know I was thinking that way, lol
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 16, 2026, 07:19:39 AM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 16, 2026, 07:19:39 AM
Hello Jillian
You are correct, I never tried women's clothing until a few weeks ago though I have always questioned why women have so much more choice in clothes than men.
I have recently been doing some trauma therapy to deal with some unrelated bad stuff from my childhood and I guess this was buried underneath.
I did have some thoughts about being female when I was very young so I guess this isn't entirely unexpected.
You are correct, I never tried women's clothing until a few weeks ago though I have always questioned why women have so much more choice in clothes than men.
I have recently been doing some trauma therapy to deal with some unrelated bad stuff from my childhood and I guess this was buried underneath.
I did have some thoughts about being female when I was very young so I guess this isn't entirely unexpected.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Deedee3d on March 16, 2026, 09:51:18 AM
Post by: Deedee3d on March 16, 2026, 09:51:18 AM
Welcome to the community Phillippa 😀
Kindly,
D
"And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." - Kurt Vonnegut
Kindly,
D
"And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." - Kurt Vonnegut
Quote from: PhilippaRees on March 13, 2026, 06:07:22 PMAbout 4 weeks ago, at the age of 61, I reacted to a very stressful situation by suddenly wanting to crossdress to escape it. Why my brain chose that way to escape I have no idea, but I am not actually surprised, the clues were there had I been looking. I had no idea I was hiding it.
I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.
I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 18, 2026, 05:15:47 PM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 18, 2026, 05:15:47 PM
I found myself buying flowers today, for myself.
That's never happened before, out of nowhere I wanted to get some flowers.
That's never happened before, out of nowhere I wanted to get some flowers.
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Pema on March 18, 2026, 05:26:30 PM
Post by: Pema on March 18, 2026, 05:26:30 PM
I love that, Philippa. What did you get?
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 18, 2026, 05:32:05 PM
Post by: PhilippaRees on March 18, 2026, 05:32:05 PM
Quote from: Pema on March 18, 2026, 05:26:30 PMI love that, Philippa. What did you get?
Pink, white and lilac Chrysanthemums
Title: Re: Hello I'm Philippa
Post by: Lori Dee on March 18, 2026, 06:25:19 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on March 18, 2026, 06:25:19 PM
Every year on January 11th, I buy myself a red rose to celebrate another year since I started HRT. It is also a way to show yourself that you matter and you love yourself. I think that is great.
I like Chrysanthemums too!
I like Chrysanthemums too!