Susan's Place Transgender Resources

After giving it some thought I have decided to start scrawling my thoughts into a blog of my own.

I have never written a blog before nor have I ever kept a diary so this will be a steep learning curve for me. I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to say or talk about to be honest!

I think I lead a pretty mundane existance so don't expect pirates and car chases but I figure if it helps me process my own thoughts and issues it can't be a bad thing overall. Apologies in advance if I send you all to sleep with my ramblings.

For those that don't know me I'm Sarah (Sarah Louise actually, that was what my mum had named me before I was born as she was convinced I was a girl). I turned 50 in February, started HRT ooooh at least 3-4 years back. I'm not currently living full time as Sarah due to family issues but I let her out to play every chance I get.

I joined Susans Place in January 2026 though I have been a bit of a lurker for many many years. I have known I was transgender since my ealiest years and have never been in any doubt who I really am. I have been single most of my life and have no children so life is pretty simple compared to some I suppose.

My goal is to fully transition as soon as I am able and I hope to one day get FFS, sort my horrible male voice out and eventually go the whole hog and go for GRS.

I live in North East England in the county of Northumberland. The county borders Scotland and is the most remote and sparsely populated county in England. Famous for Hadrians Wall which runs through it.

Anyhoo, that's my introduction overwith. I'll drop in from time to time to update you all on the incredibly exciting things I get up to!

Sarah xx

@Stotti Girl
Dear Sarah: (Sarah Louise)
I am so very thrilled that you started your personal Forum Blog Thread.

Your Blog thread is your journal and becomes your "HOME" here on the Forum where members can find you and catch up with your life endeavors.

I find that when I have difficult issues that I am working through that writing down my thoughts helps me to ponder and to formulate positive solutions.    When things are going well, I certainly write about those things as well.

I not only keep my Blog thread frequently updated but I also keep a private (for my eyes only) personal journal at home... an "old school" pen&paper three ring binder (not a fancy journal book with a nice cover) stuffed with barely legible notes, snapshot photos, memorable greeting cards and letters that my friends have given to me, etc ....  On cold nights I can found sitting in my comfortable chair in front of my fireplace reading over and over my past entries, many times with tears in my eyes. 

When you share your "good news" all of us on the Forum will rejoice with you... and if you report "not-so-good-news" we will offer our shoulder for you to lean on.

Along with your avid readers and followers, I will be eagerly looking for your future postings as you unravel your continuing "The world according to Sarah" and also your postings with your comments and thoughts around the various threads on the Forum.
              ❤️ 
Many HUGS, and more HUGS
Danielle   [Northern Star Girl]
    Forum Adminitrator

Congratulations on your new blog Sarah. That intro is lovely, and now I know your middle name! Beautiful story as to how you found your chosen name too.

Definitely look forward to seeing you progress and find that freedom you just soo need to have.

Love and hugs
Charlotte 😻

Congratulations, Sarah! Welcome to the Blogosphere.

As Danielle said, this is your home here on Susan's Place. So you get to pick out the drapes, rearrange the furniture, and settle in as you see fit. How you decide to use it and what you choose to write about are up to you.

You can get ideas by reading other members' blogs to see how they use theirs.

Welcome home!

Hugs.

Thanks for the kind words Danielle and Charlotte. Both of you have been very welcoming to me from the start. It's very much appreciated.

Danielle, I do still have a "little black book of thoughts" from a year or so ago which I used to snap myself out of depression so, while not a journal, it's along the same lines. I am also a sentimental soul, I have been clearing out my attic today ready for my impending house move and found a box with all my personal things from my life so far. Things like, school reports, swimming badges, my first (and only!) valentine card, letters to distant friends who I am no longer in touch with and so on. i've been having a lovely day going through these.

Quote from: Lori Dee on Yesterday at 02:26:03 PMCongratulations, Sarah! Welcome to the Blogosphere.

As Danielle said, this is your home here on Susan's Place. So you get to pick out the drapes, rearrange the furniture, and settle in as you see fit. How you decide to use it and what you choose to write about are up to you.

You can get ideas by reading other members' blogs to see how they use theirs.

Welcome home!

Hugs.

Thanks Lori, I'll find my feet with it in due course I'm sure. It will probably evolve over time as it's a new thing for me.

Hey, neat! I'm glad you're doing this.

You've read enough of other people's blogs to know that it's perfectly fine to talk about less-than-exciting stuff. Life brings what it will, and it's worth sharing.

Welcome!

Sarah!

Awesomeness! Can't wait to see what wonderful things bloom here!!! 🌻🤗🌻

I know it sounds like I shouldn't get my hopes up but, I am holding out hope for pirates and car chases!!! Ninjas might be cool too!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

A💕

As I like to say welcome to the basement (as this is at the bottom of the page!) . I just put stuff down of what I am up to, I find it good at clearing clutter out of my brain. Just everyday stuff, not much to do with being trans but after being fully out and fettled that is what my life is like.

Yea you.
Im proud to be watching this grow. I'll try not to use this for insomnia.
I've pretty well decided to start mine right after my next therapy session. Keep me updated

Quote from: tgirlamg on Yesterday at 02:46:06 PMSarah!

Awesomeness! Can't wait to see what wonderful things bloom here!!! 🌻🤗🌻

I know it sounds like I shouldn't get my hopes up but, I am holding out hope for pirates and car chases!!! Ninjas might be cool too!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

A💕

Never say never Ashley, Who knows what adventures are round the corner!

Quote from: Pema on Yesterday at 02:44:12 PMHey, neat! I'm glad you're doing this.

You've read enough of other people's blogs to know that it's perfectly fine to talk about less-than-exciting stuff. Life brings what it will, and it's worth sharing.

Welcome!

Thanks Pema! You were one of the first to welcome me to the site and I guess I haven't sent you to sleep so far!

Quote from: davina61 on Yesterday at 02:49:03 PMAs I like to say welcome to the basement (as this is at the bottom of the page!) . I just put stuff down of what I am up to, I find it good at clearing clutter out of my brain. Just everyday stuff, not much to do with being trans but after being fully out and fettled that is what my life is like.

Thanks for the tips Davina. I don't have a car to restore so I guess I will have to bore everyone one with house renovations or something! At least it will give me something to yak about!

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on Yesterday at 02:52:29 PMYea you.
Im proud to be watching this grow. I'll try not to use this for insomnia.
I've pretty well decided to start mine right after my next therapy session. Keep me updated

Good on you Kellie though to be honest, I think your "lost" thread has become your unofficial blog anyway whether you realise it or not!

Quote from: Stottie Girl on Yesterday at 03:00:48 PMThanks Pema! You were one of the first to welcome me to the site and I guess I haven't sent you to sleep so far!

Far from it. I sleep very soundly at night, so I'm not easy to knock out that way. And I'm a huge fan of "the magical in the mundane," so we may just be very well matched.

And if pirates, car chases, and ninjas do creep in, I can handle that, too.

How about aliens?? Can you add some aliens?? That would be fun.

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on Yesterday at 03:51:15 PMHow about aliens?? Can you add some aliens?? That would be fun.

I'll do my best just for you Kellie!

So I was in my car this afternoon with Captain Jack Sparrow chasing down this Ninja who had stolen the Captain's hat. When all of a sudden a huge spacecraft appeared overhead...........

Actually I've been stuck in my dusty attic all day clearing out all the junk I've accumulated over the last 18 years, I'm absolutely knackered. I think I might have to go do something fun (ish) tomorrow before I go back to work. Moving sucks.

Moving is a 4 letter word. It should only be done out of an absolute necessity.  My last move was across 3500 miles. It was horrible. I made the drive twice. I ended up in the ER with a blood clot in my leg

Oh moving is a miserable experience and always more stuff than you imagine! Having moved 7 times since 2003 I'm not planning to ever move again!

I hope you're making good progress sorting everything out Sarah? It'll be done one day then you can enjoy your new place!

C😻

DEARH BEFORE MOVING.
I may have a little Klingon in me

Quote from: Stottie Girl on Yesterday at 04:07:13 PMSo I was in my car this afternoon with Captain Jack Sparrow chasing down this Ninja who had stolen the Captain's hat. When all of a sudden a huge spacecraft appeared overhead...........

Now we're talkin'!!! 😅👍

How about finding a magic item that will give you any wish she wants. That could be fun

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on Yesterday at 04:29:51 PMOh moving is a miserable experience and always more stuff than you imagine! Having moved 7 times since 2003 I'm not planning to ever move again!

I hope you're making good progress sorting everything out Sarah? It'll be done one day then you can enjoy your new place!

C😻

It's progressing along nicely. Surveys have all been done, draft contracts exchanged but as I'm in England we can always be gazumped until the contracts are signed. I will have such a wendy on if it falls through after moving all my stuff to my parents place!

Quote from: tgirlamg on Yesterday at 04:36:09 PMNow we're talkin'!!! 😅👍

Reads like a lot of my school English essays that one ha ha!

I hate moving.

My dad gave me good advice: Don't move heavy furniture. Sell it, then use the money to put toward new furniture when you get to the new home. That way, you reduce moving costs, and you can get exactly what the new home needs.

When I moved from Illinois to South Dakota, I had everything I owned in the back of my pickup truck. When I moved from SD to Colorado ten years later, everything fit in the back of a small U-Haul truck. I didn't sell my bed, so I had to haul it.

Don't wear yourself out. Packing a little each day gets it done.

The furniture isn't too bad. My current house is a teeny tiny two bed turn of the century coiliery house so there isn't much furniture to worry about. It's all the little things. Like I spent hours packing books into 7 boxes and I'm not even half way through the book packing!

I'm only moving about 2 miles down the road. I'm trying to avoid having to move everything on moving day as I'll have to vacate my house by 12:00am. Will probably just do it myself in a truck hire.

2 miles isn't bad. Never underestimate the drama of an across the country move. It will make you question the sanity of the universe

Agreed. 2 miles isn't bad, and if you can move a load of boxes a little at a time, it makes moving day so much easier.

Well, I had a lovely dream last night. I dreamt I was a RAF fast jet pilot. It felt so real. I remember having breakfast in the officers mess with my best friend Katie (I was her wingman) before going to a briefing and taking off on a training flight flying very low following Katie through the valleys and hills of the lake district. I remember my call sign was "little minx", Katie's was "bombshell" Which is daft as RAF pilots do not have callsigns like the US pilots do. I was sweeping over a town in the lake district where I often holiday before being woken up by my cat lucy jumping on me and purring in my ear! Thanks a bunch!

It is a poignient dream for me as I was Sarah in it the whole time, something that has been happening more frequently since I joined Susans Place. I hope I don't sound mad saying this but I feel like Sarah is becoming a real person inside my head rather than just a "what if" concept. I really feel like she is developing a personality of her own and she is starting to take over my dreams. I hope this doesn't mean I'm developing schizophrenia lol! I'm not sure if I am explaining that right.

It is also poignient as becoming an RAF pilot was my career path growing up. I was an air cadet when I was young and was in regular contact with the RAF careers office I even went down to RAF Leeming air base on a careers day where I got to meet frontline pilots, sit in an operational tornado jet, ate with the pilots in the officers mess, got a full base tour etc. Still the best day of my life so far.

On their advice I took recommended A levels and started a degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering (You needed either a science, engineering or mathematics degree). During my first year of uni I decided I wanted to get a head start and started learning to fly privately. Before I did my first solo I had to undergo an aviation medical exam and it suddenly dawned on me. If I joined the RAF I would have to have regular medical exams, I wouldn't be able to transition as I wouldn't be able to hide it and at the time female pilots weren't allowed to become fast jet pilots let alone transgender ones. Faced with a choice of having to bury my real self or continue on that path I decided I couldn't deny who I was and so I left University (I had no desire to be an Electrical Engineer) and tried to find a new career. It is the single biggest regret of my life as the RAF started allowing pilots to transition in 2011. I could have been a trailblazing pioneer!

I guess the point of all this is that despite all the negative media and anti trans rhetoric, young trans people have so many opportunities available to them these days. We cannot allow our rights and freedoms to be erroded back to where they were.

As for learning to fly, when I left University I had amassed 45 hours training, done at least 6 solo flights (3 crosscountry to visit other airfields) but hadn't taken the exams. After leaving my course I struggled to get a well paid job, moved out of home and could no longer afford it. So there I sit. The nearly girl.

It may have been a dream last night but it was nice to experience what could have been, if only for a moment.

Sorry for the lengthy ramble!

Wow that's quite the vivid dream Sarah! Sounds like the dream of being a pilot is pretty etched in your subconscious. And even more interesting that you're having the dream as Sarah so that's also very set in your mind too.

Its a shame you missed out on your dream career due to archaic rules that should never have existed, but then we can't change the times that we were born into. I guess each generation comes with pros and cons. I hope that despite missing out on this you have generally been happy with your path? I wonder how many people actually get to live out the dream they had for their lives and if so that really did turn out to be as good as they expected? Life is definitely good at throwing curve balls and taking you to unexpected paths the moment you think you have it all worked out! Sounds like you're very intelligent being able to achieve all the education you did however up to that point.

If our dreams were real I'm sure we'd have all had some very brilliant but also very harrowing experiences. I guess it's your minds way of processing the things that may have been and working through various possibilities.

Charlotte x

Thanks for your kind comments Charlotte.

We can't change our past but we can stand up to ensure future generations don't suffer the same limitations.

I went back to uni later and got an HNC in Architectural Design so I still managed to get some higher education in. I enjoyed my time as an Architectural Technican, it wasn't a bad comprimise but I was made redundant twice in a row and had to change career path again. I've never really reached my full potential.

I'm now 50 and starting my career all over again (5th time!) and back doing a training qualification again on a path to become a building inspector. Too many career restarts to be a top earner but I get by and I enjoy my new job even though the pay is very low.

Great dream
Sorry to hear you had to give up on your dream career.  I'm sure what ever you do you'll be amazing at it.

I loved the lengthy ramble and follow-ups!

Your blog is amazing despite the relative absence of aliens and pirates.

But I just gots to ask: What's a 'wendy'?

So glad you started your own blog, Sarah. Looking forward to the Pirate stories as well.

@Dances With Trees  cc:  Stottie Girl
Dear Anni:
I likewise was confused with the term "wendy"
As you know, the Brits and the Yanks are separated by a common language.

In British slang, commonly in Northern England, "Wendy" is
a description for a coward, a "wuss" or a weak person.

    *Sarah may have more to add to my definition.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Dances With Trees on Today at 11:32:22 AMI loved the lengthy ramble and follow-ups!

Your blog is amazing despite the relative absence of aliens and pirates.

But I just gots to ask: What's a 'wendy'?

Definitely a northern word as I've never heard of it! Wendy is just a name to me. I was just called a cissy by my family. Taken in the right way I'd say pretty accurate now!

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on Today at 01:18:58 PMIn British slang, commonly in Northern England, "Wendy" is
a description for a coward, a "wuss" or a weak person.

And here I was thinking it was a menu item from the local burger joint.

🤣

Ha ha!? Sorry didn't mean to be confusing. I thought it was a more widespread phrase. It means to have a hissy fit or a strop! Hopefully that clears that one up!

We do have a particular dialect up here "north of the wall" where the wildlings live.

Hopefully Lauren has heard of it being the only other northern lass on here that I am aware of.