Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What do you say to someone who says you do not look "that transgender"?

Or that "You do not look as transgender" as she or he thought you would? 

Would your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender?"

Would your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are really a man?"

Then there are CIS people that many people think they "look transgender."  Some famous people have been noted to "look transgender" when they are not, they are CIS.

So is there a "transgender look"?

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 04:16:15 PMWhat do you say to someone who says you do not look "that transgender"?

Or that "You do not look as transgender" as she or he thought you would? 

Would your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender?"

Would your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are really a man?"

Then there are CIS people that many people think they "look transgender."  Some famous people have been noted to "look transgender" when they are not, they are CIS.

So is there a "transgender look"?

In my opinion no because most people's looks change. It is actually very uncommon for somebody's looks to stay the same especially if they aged significantly. Maybe if somebody takes very good care of themselves people might say "Wow, they look good." In most cases there's alot that could happen in somebody's life that could significantly change them. It's just a part of life.

From my experience the "look" of a man or a woman is a stereotypical image. The same goes for cisgender people. Even with that being said I reiterate what I said above.

To be honest Chrissy. I don't like any of those comments. They are all on the offensive side. If I received them I would know I have failed. MY aim is to pass and not stand out so if someone clocked me like that I would probably be mortified.

Is there a transgender "look". Well sort of I suppose. It is when there is a clear mismatch between the gender you are trying to be and the physical features or mannerisms of your person. This could mean different things to different people. But it could be your facial features, your size, the way you walk, your feet or hands, the adams apple, the voice and so on. Androgenous people can often fall into this same trap.

If someone said something like that to me I would be very upset and wary of the individual that said it. They may not mean anything bad by it but they could harbour negative views. They certainly aren't very empathetic so I'm not sure I would want to be around someone like that.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 04:16:15 PMWhat do you say to someone who says you do not look "that transgender"?

"What does transgender look like?"

QuoteOr that "You do not look as transgender" as she or he thought you would? 

"What does transgender look like?  How is it quantifiable?"

QuoteWould your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender?"

"Thank you.  (I think.)"

QuoteWould your response change if they said, "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are really a man?"

My response would be an obscene gesture, and the conversation would most definitely be over.  Forcefully so, if necessary.

QuoteSo is there a "transgender look"?

We all know that some trans people can be "clocked".  Masculine features sometimes betray trans women.  Or sometimes not.  It is not reliable.  There is certainly no one "look".

I'd take the one that implies I look at least somewhat womanly despite being trans as a compliment. Anything is better than nothing.

The others would depend on what they meant by it. If they were just not very competent with their social skills, I'd just explain the issue with the comment and my thoughts. If it was vindictive I'd walk away or call them a four letter word, tell them about themselves before walking away!

Charlotte 😻

Just the phrasing of their comment screams transphobia to me.

I have never encountered anyone who talks that way.

But if I did, I might reply with something like:

"You look a lot smarter than I expected, for such an idiot."

I do not like any those questions posed except one may be tolerable if innocently or not snarkily asked:

  "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender."

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 05:38:49 PMI do not like any those questions posed except one may be tolerable if innocently or not snarkily asked:

  "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender."

The reason I dislike it is that it implies that women and transgender people are two different things. It implies that transgender people do not look like women.

Quote from: Lori Dee on Today at 05:56:42 PMThe reason I dislike it is that it implies that women and transgender people are two different things. It implies that transgender people do not look like women.

Lori,

Yes, I can see that.  I guess it is the least offensive one, if I ranked them.  I dislike them all in ways.  I should have not effectively stated I dislike all but that one, it is that I dislike it the least.

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 05:38:49 PMI do not like any those questions posed except one may be tolerable if innocently or not snarkily asked:

  "You look more like a woman than I thought you would, considering you are transgender."

I said I would say "Thank you, I think" because the person is trying to be nice, for an ignorant prat.  I give thanks for effort.  But none of them are nice.

Quote from: KathyLauren on Today at 07:09:15 PMI said I would say "Thank you, I think" because the person is trying to be nice, for an ignorant prat.  I give thanks for effort.  But none of them are nice.

Kathy,

I agree.   I dislike them all in ways.  I should have not effectively stated I dislike all but that one, it is that I dislike it the least.