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I would like to increase my breast size to maybe a A cup in size but not to where my family can notice and start asking questions. Family pressure would be over the top for me to live with.    Once I reach my goal I would stop taking the meds.

Is this idea reasonable to try, it would meet my needs anyway and help with the dreaded dysphoria that has plagued me for many years.

@she she, are you on hrt right now?

Is it fair to say you're feeling a strong need to be female? What have you done so far?

Quote from: she she on April 24, 2026, 08:44:39 PMI would like to increase my breast size to maybe a A cup in size but not to where my family can notice and start asking questions. Family pressure would be over the top for me to live with.    Once I reach my goal I would stop taking the meds.

Is this idea reasonable to try, it would meet my needs anyway and help with the dreaded dysphoria that has plagued me for many years.

I think you need to examine what your goals are and why. Hormone therapy is a long-term commitment, and the results will be determined mostly by your genetics. That means they could grow beyond what you expected or wanted. Taking hormones long-term causes some changes to become permanent.

The reason I am saying this is that you should examine if this is the right time for you to begin transitioning. You should discuss this with a therapist with experience in gender identities, so they can help you sort out how to achieve your goals.

If you only want small breasts, such that no one will notice, why not invest in breast forms instead of taking prescription medication? You can dress as you wish to the level that you wish, then go back to "safe mode" when you need to. You could save money that way, and it is the safer route. No lab tests needed, no prescriptions, but still get the relief from the dysphoric feelings you have.

At some point down the road, you may decide that is not enough and you are ready to start transitioning. There is nothing wrong with that. We each decide on the next step only when we are ready to take it. There is no rush, no timeline to follow, no need to go at anyone's pace but your own.

Quote from: she she on April 24, 2026, 08:44:39 PMI would like to increase my breast size to maybe a A cup in size but not to where my family can notice and start asking questions. Family pressure would be over the top for me to live with.    Once I reach my goal I would stop taking the meds.

Is this idea reasonable to try, it would meet my needs anyway and help with the dreaded dysphoria that has plagued me for many years.

A potential issue is that over time your body will stop making its own hormones. If you then stop taking the HRT, you will have no hormones in your body at all, and that can lead to a very sick she she. We don't want that. A doctor can help you work this out.

Hugs, Devlyn

Honestly, it doesn't seem like a good idea to me. I ended up with significant breast growth that is immpossible to hide. Plus once they start growing you won't want to stop!

There are other serious issues to consider. It is possible that by the time you have the breast size you want you will have become sterile. Being stuck halfway is also very dificult to manage, take it from someone who knows. I am still not out and it is very dificult to hide even right at the beginning.

I chose to do it in secret as I didn't want to disrupt my family and I look back and think I wish I had just come out earlier. It would have given my parents time to come around. My dad is now elderly and I don't want to put him though it this at his age, I am effectively stuck. I have told my mum though and while she hope I wouldn't transition because I might get persecuted, she would support me if I did. @Northern Star Girl is a shinning example of what could happen when you fully embrace it, read her blogs if you have the time, I know it has made me question my life choices.

I think I'm maybe not the best example of how to proceed with this. Seeing a specialist therapist and your GP is absolutely the way forward.

I realise I'm being a bit hypocritical and there's an element of do as I say, not how I do here. But I wouldn't want anyone else to end up stuck like me.

Quote from: she she on April 24, 2026, 08:44:39 PMI would like to increase my breast size to maybe a A cup in size but not to where my family can notice and start asking questions. Family pressure would be over the top for me to live with.    Once I reach my goal I would stop taking the meds.

Is this idea reasonable to try, it would meet my needs anyway and help with the dreaded dysphoria that has plagued me for many years.

I'll just chip in with another potential issue. Once you've this going and then just stop, you may find in future that starting again on hormones is very ineffective. A stable run of HRT is required through the full puberty process and after to achieve good results. Messing with this now could destroy your chances of effectively feminising later.

Also its very hard to just stop there. Once you have some you'll probably still wish for more. I'm early HRT and the desire for progress to the next level is just as dysphoria tormenting as the first stages.

I totally get though that you want to move forwards. How do thing's look in the future? Is there a near or medium term scenario where you can transition freely? If you're happy to share more at any point maybe we can figure out some plans or at least understand better the restrictions that you,  maybe can't part from. There are quite a few people here with delayed transition due to various reasons such as family, partners, children and such. So lots of support from people that can maybe understand your feelings.

Charlotte 😻

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 25, 2026, 03:28:45 AMI'll just chip in with another potential issue. Once you've this going and then just stop, you may find in future that starting again on hormones is very ineffective. A stable run of HRT is required through the full puberty process and after to achieve good results. Messing with this now could destroy your chances of effectively feminising later.

Not to disagree with Charlotte's post but stopping and starting did me no harm, I have had excellent results and have had to stop and restart several times for financial and other reasons. The longest gap was a full year. I wouldn't want to unecessarily alarm anyone who has to temporarily stop for any reason. I may be an outlier though, there may evidence that suggests the opposite is true.

Estradiol doesn't produce just breasts, so even a low dose will bring other changes. Before anyone noticed my breast growth, most of my friends were asking what I was on as my face was looking much younger. They may also notice you are more emotional, you are feeling cold more, and are more passive. Libido is another effect which may be noticed.

Our hormones also play a role in regulating many of our organs, and changing our regime can have unwanted symptoms. Starting and stopping estradiol could mess you up, and you will lose some breast size after stopping.  After approximately 90 days on estradiol, our haemoglobin levels fall to cis female levels, which reduces the amount of oxygen available to muscles. This can lead to reduced endurance, and feeling tired earlier. Many trans people report weight gain, and the researchers found that this is due to feeling colder, so we eat more. On estradiol, our hands and feet can be up to 3 degreesF colder than before.

So, you should see it's way more complex than just growing some breast tissue. It sounds as if you are needing relief from mounting dysphoria, and from experience, I can say that anything affirming can work, very much including wearing breast forms as mentioned by Lori!

Anything which can change your body may have unwanted health effects, and can mess up future HRT. You should talk this over with a doctor who knows your medical history and family history, so you can work together to find the best solutions. I feel for you, I also had to endure years of debilitating dysphoria so my loved ones wouldn't have to deal with my condition, and it eventually destroyed my health. Dysphoria is a chronic stress which can have serious negative health consequences, so if you can't find a non medical solution, you may have to consider (with your doctor) a level of medical transition to keep you safe. I wish you better success with this than I had, as chronic stress from dysphoria was identified as the primary element in my heart attack and cardiac arrests.

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 25, 2026, 03:42:15 AMNot to disagree with Charlotte's post but stopping and starting did me no harm, I have had excellent results and have had to stop and restart several times for financial and other reasons. The longest gap was a full year. I wouldn't want to unecessarily alarm anyone who has to temporarily stop for any reason. I may be an outlier though, there may evidence that suggests the opposite is true.

I think you are just lucky to be honest! Consistency is normally the best option but some people cam do anything and it works out! For me i try to do things well and fail every time and need to brute force to get a mediocre result. Guess thats just the demonic part of my being i inherited from my evil father!

Charlotte 😻

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 25, 2026, 03:42:15 AMNot to disagree with Charlotte's post but stopping and starting did me no harm, I have had excellent results and have had to stop and restart several times for financial and other reasons. The longest gap was a full year. I wouldn't want to unecessarily alarm anyone who has to temporarily stop for any reason. I may be an outlier though, there may evidence that suggests the opposite is true.

Stottie, we are all different, so you may not be an outlier, but just have different outcomes than some others. I know some trans women who had to start and stop for various reasons, and some had good outcomes, while others didn't. I had a short break early in my HRT, my breast buds disappeared, and never recovered when I was able to re start HRT. It also depends on the skill of the doctor in designing a regime which suits individual needs. So all we can do is at least let people learn as many risks as we can so they can make informed decisions.

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 25, 2026, 04:13:14 AMI think you are just lucky to be honest! Consistency is normally the best option but some people cam do anything and it works out! For me i try to do things well and fail every time and need to brute force to get a mediocre result. Guess thats just the demonic part of my being i inherited from my evil father!

Charlotte 😻

Certainly, consistency is the best way forward. I don't want to give any illuions on that but sometimes life or circumstance can get in the way. Don't panic if this is you is all I'm saying.

Quote from: Allie Jayne on April 25, 2026, 04:20:51 AMStottie, we are all different, so you may not be an outlier, but just have different outcomes than some others. I know some trans women who had to start and stop for various reasons, and some had good outcomes, while others didn't. I had a short break early in my HRT, my breast buds disappeared, and never recovered when I was able to re start HRT. It also depends on the skill of the doctor in designing a regime which suits individual needs. So all we can do is at least let people learn as many risks as we can so they can make informed decisions.

Hugs,

Allie

I agree. But sometimes stopping is unavoidable (maybe that was your situation?) and I wanted to show that it can still work, it doesn't always spell disaster. I mean there are examples where people stay on consistently and don't get the results they want. I don't want people who have to stop to feel that they've ruined their chances of successful transition is all.

She she,


Your doctor is key in managing your meds.  Before getting to that stage you must clearly understand what your ultimate goal is by using HRT.  Would you be okay with always having breasts?

I really like having breasts but that is right for me as I am a woman and my breasts help me look nicer and I will always want them.  If they get bigger, okay.  If they do not get beyond my B cups, okay.  They are beyond hiding although some clothes do not emphasize them.  I do not wish to hide them.  Some days I want them to be very noticeable.

Gender therapy may be a good step to help you gain clarity for what you want.

Chrissy

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 24, 2026, 10:19:25 PMI think you need to examine what your goals are and why. Hormone therapy is a long-term commitment, and the results will be determined mostly by your genetics. That means they could grow beyond what you expected or wanted. Taking hormones long-term causes some changes to become permanent.

The reason I am saying this is that you should examine if this is the right time for you to begin transitioning. You should discuss this with a therapist with experience in gender identities, so they can help you sort out how to achieve your goals.

If you only want small breasts, such that no one will notice, why not invest in breast forms instead of taking prescription medication? You can dress as you wish to the level that you wish, then go back to "safe mode" when you need to. You could save money that way, and it is the safer route. No lab tests needed, no prescriptions, but still get the relief from the dysphoric feelings you have.

At some point down the road, you may decide that is not enough and you are ready to start transitioning. There is nothing wrong with that. We each decide on the next step only when we are ready to take it. There is no rush, no timeline to follow, no need to go at anyone's pace but your own.

This is exactly where I am. Perhaps once every couple of weeks I don breast forms and feel like myself when I look at my figure. Wigs help too since my hair is thin and feels male. I'm seeing a therapist. I did free work with a book called You and your Gender Identity that was so good I don't need much paid therapy. I resolved some other issues with an inner child workbook. 

Then I finally started to accept the really of being trans. 

I may try estrogen but low dose and with a goal seeing how I feel more than affecting my appearance. If my body starts to change I'll have to decide whether to move forward or stop, and after all this emotional work and feeling the first effects of HRT, I'll be ready. 

When my psychologist confirmed previous diagnoses of Gender Dysphoria, I asked if there was some kind of test he could do to verify his diagnosis. He said there is.

They put me on HRT: Estradiol tabs with testosterone blockers for 30 days. He said that if at any time I feel "off" or like something isn't right (mood swings, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.), stop immediately because that is a sign that something is not right. Maybe this was the wrong path, and they would look elsewhere to solve my issues.

During those 30 days, I felt fantastic! I was no longer the "grumpy old geezer" that my friends called me. At my follow-up exam, I told them I wanted to keep going. They said I could go another 60 days, but when I hit that 90-day mark, things start to change permanently. At the end of those 90 days, I knew there was no going back, and I finally accepted that this is who I am, so I embraced it.

This is for anyone who wants to try it and see if it works for them. Go for 30 days at a time, then re-evaluate how you feel and what problems you encountered. From there, you can decide if it is right for you. If you decide to proceed beyond 90 days, do so with proper medical monitoring (lab testing and dose adjustments) to protect your health.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 25, 2026, 09:50:48 PMWhen my psychologist confirmed previous diagnoses of Gender Dysphoria, I asked if there was some kind of test he could do to verify his diagnosis. He said there is.

They put me on HRT: Estradiol tabs with testosterone blockers for 30 days. He said that if at any time I feel "off" or like something isn't right (mood swings, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.), stop immediately because that is a sign that something is not right. Maybe this was the wrong path, and they would look elsewhere to solve my issues.

During those 30 days, I felt fantastic! I was no longer the "grumpy old geezer" that my friends called me. At my follow-up exam, I told them I wanted to keep going. They said I could go another 60 days, but when I hit that 90-day mark, things start to change permanently. At the end of those 90 days, I knew there was no going back, and I finally accepted that this is who I am, so I embraced it.

This is for anyone who wants to try it and see if it works for them. Go for 30 days at a time, then re-evaluate how you feel and what problems you encountered. From there, you can decide if it is right for you. If you decide to proceed beyond 90 days, do so with proper medical monitoring (lab testing and dose adjustments) to protect your health.

I'm really glad this worked well for you, and I appreciate you sharing your experience. I looked into this and just want to gently add that using HRT as a "test" for whether someone is trans isn't a standard or widely recommended approach. Hormones are a medical treatment, not a diagnostic tool, and people can feel good or bad on them for a variety of reasons. 

That said, I'm really glad you found something that helped you feel more like yourself.

Quote from: KristaFairchild on April 26, 2026, 09:23:08 AMHormones are a medical treatment, not a diagnostic tool, and people can feel good or bad on them for a variety of reasons. 

I agree.

I think the point was that if you feel bad on HRT for any reason, that may not be the correct path for you. For example, if you have an allergy to the medication, then it would not be wise to have it prescribed. If, however, there are no adverse reactions, physical or mental, then re-evaluate over time to determine if it is helping with dysphoria symptoms.

The psychologist only recommended HRT to my Primary doctor, who, in turn, referred me to Endocrinology for monitoring.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 26, 2026, 12:00:30 PMI agree.

I think the point was that if you feel bad on HRT for any reason, that may not be the correct path for you. For example, if you have an allergy to the medication, then it would not be wise to have it prescribed. If, however, there are no adverse reactions, physical or mental, then re-evaluate over time to determine if it is helping with dysphoria symptoms.

The psychologist only recommended HRT to my Primary doctor, who, in turn, referred me to Endocrinology for monitoring.

I'm with you Lori, HRT is a good litmus test. Obviously under the recommendations and guidance of GP's though

Quote from: Alana Ashleigh on April 24, 2026, 09:36:23 PM@she she, are you on hrt right now?
[/

Nope

Quote from: KristaFairchild on April 24, 2026, 09:54:52 PMIs it fair to say you're feeling a strong need to be female? What have you done so far?

I just under dress and did wear a skirt out a few times dressed in otherwise guy clothes.   That event went well and in fact a lady cornered me and told me that I rock it I felt like a million dollars after that.

I would love to have my own too..Right now I use small silicone forms. I have two sets actually. I wear the smallest which is AA daily. If you use forms.... You need to get  breast form covers for them. The covers help to keep your forms from sliding around and falling out. They have a clip at the top that goes around your bra strap. This is very important, you don't want to have an embarrassing issue....like falling out. I found that A's are actually noticeable so if not being noticed is important you might want to go smaller.

I have been growing breasts for some time without HRT.

I am 36 DD now and it's due to wearing nipple suction cups during the day and electric breast milk pumps at every opportunity.

I pump several times a day and I am being pumped now. I am a breast pump slave!

Regarding keeping breast forms in place, a bra works for me. If I want extra secure I use a mastectomy bra that has pockets to hold the forms. I did research into adhesive siesta and they are not all the same, but I haven't tried it yet. 

She She, there are products on the market, that CLAIM to do what you want, to help males grow breasts. They are often female menopause tablets, that can be used my males to grow breasts. I will not mention any here, you can do your own research. Whether they work is debatable. yes there are often testimonials from "clients" claiming they give wonderful results, often with photos. But keep in mind, in the world of AI, these can be faked easily.

Having said all that, I agree with the ladies that posted before me, HRT should be supervised by a doctor as it can lead serious medical side effects (blood clots etc). Female hormones are powerful and lead to more than just physical changes, but mental ones too.. increased sensitivity/mood swings and you actually begin to think in a more female way.

When you transform male to female, you transform in body and mind and there is no real halfway in and you cant always control the results, I will never forget, I was about a year into HRT and my friend and I were talking and then she said.. Noleen you are such a girl, that made my day, yes i did cry a bit.

This is why I'm considering low dose estrogen. Not for the minimal physical changes at my age, but to see how it makes me feel.

Look out world, I already cry at commercials and previews. My emotions have long been my most female trait. 

Quote from: KristaFairchild on April 29, 2026, 10:06:27 PMThis is why I'm considering low dose estrogen. Not for the minimal physical changes at my age, but to see how it makes me feel.

Look out world, I already cry at commercials and previews. My emotions have long been my most female trait.

This is me

Some try phytoestrogens.  You have to consume these regularly but they can cause small changes.  You need to eat foods like soy, fennel, etc. that are phytoestronegnic. 

The cost of these foods is likely more than the prescribed tablets.  But you do eat too!

Anyone wanting to try these, do your research.  Some may have allergic or medical reactions to some of these foods too.   

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 30, 2026, 07:52:41 PMSome try phytoestrogens.  You have to consume these regularly but they can cause small changes.  You need to eat foods like soy, fennel, etc. that are phytoestronegnic. 

The cost of these foods is likely more than the prescribed tablets.  But you do eat too!

Anyone wanting to try these, do your research.  Some may have allergic or medical reactions to some of these foods too.   

Here is a published study that examines the pros and cons of phytoestrogens:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3074428/

She she,
I expect I might consider low dose E at some stage to see how I feel.

Something to consider if you intend to stop at some stage, what are you going to do.if one breast responds more than the other and you're lopsided?

Do you stop then or keep growing past the size you intended?

Quote from: she she on April 24, 2026, 08:44:39 PMI would like to increase my breast size to maybe a A cup in size but not to where my family can notice and start asking questions. Family pressure would be over the top for me to live with.    Once I reach my goal I would stop taking the meds.

Is this idea reasonable to try, it would meet my needs anyway and help with the dreaded dysphoria that has plagued me for many years.

What if you find that your life improves on HRT and living without HRT is something you don't want to go back to?

I don't think what you have proposed is realistic and could be unsafe. HRT is not a toy to be played with. Starting and then stopping could have negative mental health effects. I would not start HRT unless you're ready, willing, and able to stick with it indefinitely and deal with the relational and social results.

One needs to make sure you are willing to have breasts the rest of your life before and after you take estrogen in any form.

Quote from: Petunia on May 03, 2026, 06:50:53 PMShe she,
I expect I might consider low dose E at some stage to see how I feel.

Something to consider if you intend to stop at some stage, what are you going to do.if one breast responds more than the other and you're lopsided?

Do you stop then or keep growing past the size you intended?

I'm thinking along the same lines "see how I feel". I'm not concerned about breast growth which I expect to be minimal based on all the research I can find. If it happens, I'll be a surprised happy woman! 

But the how I feel aspect is well supported. Even low dose can affect that, often in positive ways. It's worth a run at it for me. 

Quote from: KristaFairchild on May 03, 2026, 10:07:13 PMI'm thinking along the same lines "see how I feel". I'm not concerned about breast growth which I expect to be minimal based on all the research I can find. If it happens, I'll be a surprised happy woman!

But the how I feel aspect is well supported. Even low dose can affect that, often in positive ways. It's worth a run at it for me.

Next Monday, I'll be on hrt a year. I've been on a low dose by my own choice. Being on a low dosage has had a positive effect on me. I've had breast growth. Not a ton, but enough that's made me happy.

Alana

Quote from: BlueJaye on May 03, 2026, 08:08:21 PMWhat if you find that your life improves on HRT and living without HRT is something you don't want to go back to?

I don't think what you have proposed is realistic and could be unsafe. HRT is not a toy to be played with. Starting and then stopping could have negative mental health effects. I would not start HRT unless you're ready, willing, and able to stick with it indefinitely and deal with the relational and social results.

I agree

HRT effects are not always reversible if you change your mind. Remember you cant always control the effects, how you body reacts often is due to generics.

For example if you grow breast buds, those are not reversible and you getting some form of breasts whether you want it or not, and buds will start pushing your nipples outward. So changing your mind may require surgery. 

Just be careful, as i was told, you cant grow breasts for the weekend and take them off on a Monday morning. Once you have them on your chest they are there for life.  If you want weekend breasts, get breast forms.

But I get you, I remember when I started out, I was so excited when breast growth started. I grew to a B cup within 6 months, then after that things slowed down

sorry me again

She she, one thing I never expected when i started HRT, first some background

I was 21 when i started hormones, had bottom surgery at 24..

Anyways, a demonstration to how powerful female hormones are, as I approached 30 years old, I found myself getting broody. It was heart breaking to me, that I could not bear a child for my husband and I so wanted to be a mother. In the end, we did adopt (now a mother to 3 kids) and I really love been a mother and this was a way for me to be a mother. Deep down, I still would love to be pregnant.

This was something, not in my wildest dreams,did I think I would feel when I started hormones.   

Quote from: noleen111 on May 05, 2026, 04:00:36 AMsorry me again

She she, one thing I never expected when i started HRT, first some background

I was 21 when i started hormones, had bottom surgery at 24..

Anyways, a demonstration to how powerful female hormones are, as I approached 30 years old, I found myself getting broody. It was heart breaking to me, that I could not bear a child for my husband and I so wanted to be a mother. In the end, we did adopt (now a mother to 3 kids) and I really love been a mother and this was a way for me to be a mother. Deep down, I still would love to be pregnant.

This was something, not in my wildest dreams,did I think I would feel when I started hormones.   

That's very interesting Noleen. As a rule I am uncomfortable around children but lately I have been looking at young mothers with babies, particularly breast feeding mothers and it makes me feel sad and melancholy that it will never be me. Of course, once the baby starts shrieking the bubble is burst!

I have never, up to this point, wanted children. Is this feeling broody? I'm assuming so. As you said, an unexpected change.

For me, that ship has sailed. Adopting a baby at 50 wouldn't be fair on the child as by the time they are in their teens I will be in retirement. Plus I'm fairly sure they wouldn't allow adoption to a single trans woman in the UK anyway.

I started E after about 6 or 7 years of therapy and a GID diagnosis (If that's still even the term.)

At the time I would have wanted to start E just to "grow some breasts" like you said, but I found the therapy was actually very important in retrospect.

Sometimes people go the hrt route only to discover it wasn't really right for them. You want to make sure you know the potential risks beforehand.

I agree and there at least two kinds of risk. Medical risks and the risk to ourselves. I appreciate the idea that therapy helps. I've also found that patience has helped me. I've settled into being Krista over several years. I had somone issues to work out before I could accept who I am. 

My social transition started gradually in 2023 and two parts have come together since then. One is from my scientific mind. Years of thinking as a scientist meant I wanted evidence and reasoning and I wanted it to be objective. I did a bunch of inner child work, and then I worked through a workbook on gender. I wrote  histories and created timelines. after all that there was a clear pattern that any scientist would accept. I had gradually gone from presenting as male to female. Had no point had I hesitated or turned back. Maybe I shouldn't say that I didn't hesitate because there were lots of fears and doubt along the way, but in the end of the histories and timeline showed a clear path.

Parallel to this was my heart and body path. Every step felt good. My body sang when I wore perfume or heard my heels clicking in a parking lot. The thought of letting my leg hair grow made me ill. The feel of lipstick felt like me. My body and heart sent clear messages. 

HRT is clearly my next logical step. Let's see if the doctors agree. 

Quote from: KristaFairchild on May 09, 2026, 10:33:26 PMI agree and there at least two kinds of risk. Medical risks and the risk to ourselves. I appreciate the idea that therapy helps. I've also found that patience has helped me. I've settled into being Krista over several years. I had somone issues to work out before I could accept who I am.

My social transition started gradually in 2023 and two parts have come together since then. One is from my scientific mind. Years of thinking as a scientist meant I wanted evidence and reasoning and I wanted it to be objective. I did a bunch of inner child work, and then I worked through a workbook on gender. I wrote  histories and created timelines. after all that there was a clear pattern that any scientist would accept. I had gradually gone from presenting as male to female. Had no point had I hesitated or turned back. Maybe I shouldn't say that I didn't hesitate because there were lots of fears and doubt along the way, but in the end of the histories and timeline showed a clear path.

Parallel to this was my heart and body path. Every step felt good. My body sang when I wore perfume or heard my heels clicking in a parking lot. The thought of letting my leg hair grow made me ill. The feel of lipstick felt like me. My body and heart sent clear messages.

HRT is clearly my next logical step. Let's see if the doctors agree.

That's an interesting approach Krista. Most people follow their heart but I kind of like your way of thinking it through methodically, taking your time and not rushing. Analysing each step. It's quite a healthy way to deal with things I think.

Ultimately, it feels like following one's heart is wisest. The data analysis piece is my own greatest strength and weakness. 

I went to a gender therapist for 5 months then started HRT at a transitioning dose. E2 and spiro. I knew in a week or two that I would never go off HRT. I was very apprehensive going on HRT but when I went on it I knew I would transition to a point. When I got more comfortable I needed to fully transition.

Going on and off HRT is not good for you physically and mentally it will have ramifications too. 

I want my breasts to grow just a little bit more.

I'm not on HRT but I do have 32A breasts that makes it easy to find clothes that fit me.
My left breast is a little larger like many women.


Marion

Quote from: Maid Marion on May 23, 2026, 04:53:04 PMI'm not on HRT but I do have 32A breasts that makes it easy to find clothes that fit me.
My left breast is a little larger like many women.


Marion

I am glad you can find lots of clothes!

Chrissy

I mean it's part of it.  If there was a button that I could push that'd make me a cis gender woman, I'd push it, without hesitation.

It is nice to touch them everyday.  I guess to see if they are still there or if I have been dreaming! 

Seriously, they are a delight and a must to have for me.


Chrissy

Quote from: Galtar on May 24, 2026, 10:40:35 PMI mean it's part of it.  If there was a button that I could push that'd make me a cis gender woman, I'd push it, without hesitation.

Another thought we share. We don't get a button. We get something messy, but we do get something.  

An instant permanent change could feel like relief after all my hand-wringing 

Quote from: KristaFairchild on May 25, 2026, 08:11:40 AMAnother thought we share. We don't get a button. We get something messy, but we do get something. 

An instant permanent change could feel like relief after all my hand-wringing

I have had many dreams of being born female. Then raised female.  Plus a dream or two of some instant transformation but I know neither such dream is possible to be reality.

I guess I am may be one of the misfits of society in the eyes of many, but that is not going to end my transition.  I am a woman. 

I just want to fit in and be myself.  Is that too much to ask?  I do not think so. 
I try to always put others first and be kind and show love.  We should all be that way, to all.

Love our Heavenly Father, and love people. 

Have a wonderful day!


Chrissy

Quote from: Galtar on May 24, 2026, 10:40:35 PMI mean it's part of it.  If there was a button that I could push that'd make me a cis gender woman, I'd push it, without hesitation.

For me, this is the thought I return to when I feel like an imposter. An imposter wouldn't want to go ahead with it, wouldn't *really* want to be a woman. This simple test (would I push the button?) tells me that my brain is hung up on the fact that I don't think I pass, which causes lots of fear and doubts. I confuse these feelings with feelings of being inauthentic, an imposter.

I believe that many trans women struggle with this.

Quote from: Courtney G on May 25, 2026, 06:05:12 PMFor me, this is the thought I return to when I feel like an imposter. An imposter wouldn't want to go ahead with it, wouldn't *really* want to be a woman. This simple test (would I push the button?) tells me that my brain is hung up on the fact that I don't think I pass, which causes lots of fear and doubts. I confuse these feelings with feelings of being inauthentic, an imposter.

I believe that many trans women struggle with this.

I wish you the best Courtney. 

Hugs,


Chrissy

@Courtney G
Dear Courtney:
Please know that no one here on the Forum think that you are an imposter.  Based on your prior postings and some of the photos that you had posted in the pase, there were pictures of you that certainly would indicate that you could indeed go ahead with it it..
Don't be so hard on yourself.  With self-assurance and self-confidence you can continue on as Courtney.
I am wishing success and happiness for you.
    ❤️
Many HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Courtney G on May 25, 2026, 06:05:12 PMFor me, this is the thought I return to when I feel like an imposter. An imposter wouldn't want to go ahead with it, wouldn't *really* want to be a woman. This simple test (would I push the button?) tells me that my brain is hung up on the fact that I don't think I pass, which causes lots of fear and doubts. I confuse these feelings with feelings of being inauthentic, an imposter.

I believe that many trans women struggle with this.

Quote from: Courtney G on May 25, 2026, 06:05:12 PMFor me, this is the thought I return to when I feel like an imposter. An imposter wouldn't want to go ahead with it, wouldn't *really* want to be a woman. This simple test (would I push the button?) tells me that my brain is hung up on the fact that I don't think I pass, which causes lots of fear and doubts. I confuse these feelings with feelings of being inauthentic, an imposter.

I believe that many trans women struggle with this.

Me, too. Under a microscope, I see myself doubting myself. I doubt my body is telling me anything real when it relaxes under women's clothing and makeup. I think about how I sensed no gender dysphoria until I was close to age 60. I spend time with people I associate with my past and my male self, and for a bit I conclude that I could let all this female gender nonsense go. Then get and get dressed in the same women's clothes I've aligned for a year or more. 

Then I look at my timeline and journals and I clearly see the emergence of a woman. 

I wonder if I am multiple personality or borderline personality or some other thing that is presenting as wanting to be female. I look them up (often more than once) and none are even close. 

I'll pick up my first estradiol patch tomorrow. I'll start it AT THE LATEST in a month. It's in my calendar. I'll experience four couples therapy sessions. 

Please God ease my troubled mind! 

    @KristaFairchild
Dear Krista:
Thank you for sharing your troubled thoughts regarding passing and continuing in your journey.
I will offer the same advice I just gave to Courtney G here on your Blog thread ....

Don't be so hard on yourself. 
With self-assurance and self-confidence you can continue on as Krista.
I am wishing success and happiness for you.
    ❤️
Many HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
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