Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was assigned male at birth in 1962. For decades, I wore that shell like well-cut armor—husband, father, scientist, teacher. Every chapter looked good from the outside and even internally to me: a marriage built on love, a family I still cherish, a career I poured my whole heart into. On the surface, I seemed at home. But somewhere quieter, under the skin, something was always waiting. Watching. Longing to exhale.

It started as a restlessness—a ghost touch at the edge of my heart. At first, I reached for small, secret things. Clear nail polish some days; the cool weight of a stud earring; clothes just soft and fluid enough to hint at possibility. No one said a word. On those days, the world kept turning. But inside, I was opening—a secret bloom.

With glacial slowness, I grew more femme. Months of agony over choosing almost clear nail polish with an almost invite touch of pink. Tiny hoop earrings. More feminine colored shirts. My heart and mind grew, too.

Ten months ago, this quiet call became a tidal wave. I could not keep it contained. I told my close friends and LGBTQ+ friends, then my wife, my children. It was terrifying and I wasn't sure I believed it. I started letting the mask slip with more friends, with colleagues, finding myself surprised at each moment of kindness or, sometimes, silence. Every conversation was a collision—heart racing, hands shaking, voice breaking toward the truth. But then, after, I would feel my jaw unclench, my body settle, and for a moment, the universe would go silent and wide. I breathed out, and it was my own name on the exhale.


This is me. Her name - MY name -  is Krista.

I haven't started hormones and I rarely express the way I want to, with breast forms, skirts, and wigs. Sometimes I still flinch at old doubt. But there is a new current thrumming underneath it all—something true. Sometimes I am terrified, sometimes giddy as a teenager, sometimes just so soft I want to cry for both the fear of what's next and for the miracle of finding my own skin, at last.

I'm tired of hiding. This blog is the opposite of hiding. This is where I let you—and myself—see Krista, not just in milestones and bold steps, but in the tiny, ordinary moments: the right shade of lipstick, the swing of earrings, the sound of my own laughter in a room where I am no longer alone.

I use she/they pronouns. I don't have everything figured out, not by a long shot. But I do know: every day I choose truth, my world gets bigger, softer, wilder, and more possible.

Here is what it feels like—moment by moment, breath by breath—to become.

Welcome.
This is a great group of people to figure you out. The people are kind and welcoming.

Hey Krista,

I'm Charlotte😻 and I'm pleased to welcome you to Susan's Place!

Thank you for your heartfelt introduction. I'm pleased that you have found the courage and taken steps towards living as your true self. Ten months ago was quite a turning point by then sounds of it, where you could no longer contain the real you inside. This is certainly a place where you'll be able to explore yourself more but with the support of friends here on Susan's. I look forward to learning more about you and your journey as and when you're ready.

We strive to make this a safe space where you can be yourself without judgement. A place to find information but also share your own thoughts, feelings and observations. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

When you click on the HOME button, you will see a page listing all of the various sub-forums by category and topic. Each sub-forum includes a description of what the forum is about, as well as any posting guidelines.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES  PUBLIC  Forum and the internet never forgets.
Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add links below that are important for new and returning members.
Pay special attention to the links in RED.

When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com.

Once again, welcome to Susan's Place!

Kind regards,
Charlotte😻
(Forum Staff)

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• New Members... Please Read this First (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250343.msg2295001.html#msg2295001)
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@KristaFairchild
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee @Sarah B

Sorry the font was huge. I can't edit it but I'll figure it out next time. 

I just thought it was your way screaming from a mountain top who you are.

I had never blogged or diaried before coming on here but now I find the whole thing very cathartic.

You can use it however you like. I still haven't got mine all figured out yet, I sort of download my thoughts and also anything I think might be mildly interesting to people.

I've found it so good I've started keeping a personal written journal for the things I can't share.

I will be following along with interest Krista.

Quote from: KristaFairchild on Yesterday at 09:24:23 AMSorry the font was huge. I can't edit it but I'll figure it out next time.

Welcome to the Member Blogs, Krista!

(I removed the font size tags for you, so it isn't so large.)

I enjoyed reading your first installment and look forward to future updates. This is your home here on Susan's, where your friends and followers can stop by and catch up on the latest. When you post celebrations, we will celebrate with you. When you post doubts, we are here to listen and offer support.