Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi,
I used to come to this forum a long time ago and am glad to see its still around. I had tried to live in both worlds for a long time and hid my true self for the last 8 or 9 years. I am now in therapy to find a path to transition. I have been doing DIY HRT since about 2014. I don't know what all to say her but I am looking for friends and a group that would help support me through my transition.

Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm sure you can find peer support here. Everyone has a journey and experiences to share if you ask questions. One of the welcoming committee will be along shortly to greet you. We're happy your here. If you can identify your earlier account, they may be able to help restore it for you. 💚

I have developed social anxiety\agoraphobia. My therapist has been on me to join a support group is there any online ones that people have experience with. I am in my 50's now so looking for one for older people if possible.

Hey Tammy753,

I'm Charlotte😻 and I'm pleased to welcome you back to Susan's Place!

Thank you for your post and introduction. I'm sure you'll find the friendships you are looking for here. We all support each other so you are definitely back in the right place.

I look forward to hearing more and getting to know you better.

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Charlotte😻
(Forum Staff)

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@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee @Sarah B
@tammy753

Welcome back Tammy!


Chrissy

Welcome back, Tammy.

It is always good to see returning members. If you are interested in reviving your old account, or keeping this one and just merging old posts to this account, we can make that happen. Don't post any details here. Instead, send an email to Danielle, our Forum Administrator at AlaskanDanielle@yahoo.com. She will ask for some information to locate the old account and verify that you own it.

We lost many accounts in the New Years Eve Crash of 2024, but Danielle has been able to work some magic reviving many. Just let her know what you want to do.

Welcome back to Susan's Place!



@Northern Star Girl

It was with an old yahoo account I don't have anymore. This one will be fine. A fresh start is always good!

Quote from: tammy753 on May 19, 2026, 04:03:11 PMIt was with an old yahoo account I don't have anymore. This one will be fine. A fresh start is always good!

A fresh start is always a wonderful thing. Glad to have you here.

Hello Tammy, I've only been a member since January so we wouldn't have met last time round.

Welcome back anyway!

I'm Sarah😁

I am an introverted 50 year old and it sounds like I'm in a similar place as yourself. Unfortunately, I'm over in the UK so can't offer advice on local groups and stuff but I hope, if you can't find it here, you find the support and sense of community that you need locally.

@tammy753

If you are looking to chat with members, you can join our Discord server from the Home page. You will be greeted there, so just introduce yourself and you will find plenty of people to chat with.

I really appreciate the warm greetings. It might take some time for me to get to the Discord channel. I thought I had killed this side of my self and am just now trying to let myself live.

Hi Tammy
Welcome (back)
There are a lot of wonderful people here. You'll find a bunch of support.

Hi Tammy, welcome back!

Thirty-plus years of running this place and the returning members still get me right in the chest — you came back, and that takes something.

What you said about thinking you'd killed that side of yourself and just now letting yourself live — that's the whole thing, isn't it.

A lot of us have been there. The hiding takes a toll that doesn't always show up until you finally stop doing it, and then everything you pushed down comes up at once.

Be gentle with yourself through that part. There's no schedule, and "trying to let myself live" is exactly the right framing — it's a practice, not a switch.

A few practical things, since you asked:

On older-member community here. We have a sub-forum specifically for this — Late-Onset Transsexual talk — where the conversations skew toward folks transitioning in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.

The concerns there (careers, long marriages, adult kids, decades of suppression, aging bodies on HRT) are different from what you'll see in the general forums, and you'll find your people there faster.

Also worth browsing: the Real-Life Experiences board and Transitioning Later in Life threads that pop up across several sub-forums.

On the anxiety piece. The forum itself is genuinely a good first step for someone with social anxiety — you can read, think, and respond on your own time, no camera, no voice, no real-time pressure.

Don't feel like you have to push yourself to Discord or video meetups before you're ready. A lot of members start by lurking and reading for weeks before they post much, and that's a completely legitimate way to use the place.

The Discord is there when and if you want it, not as a graduation requirement.

If your therapist wants you in a group for clinical reasons, asynchronous text forums like this one do count as peer support in most therapeutic frameworks — it's worth telling them you've joined here and seeing if that satisfies what they're looking for, at least as a starting point while you work up to anything more synchronous.

On the DIY HRT. Twelve years is a long stretch, and I want to gently flag this: please make sure your therapist knows, and if you don't currently have a prescribing provider doing regular bloodwork, that should move toward the top of the list.

Estrogen and any anti-androgens you might be on affect liver function, clotting risk, lipids, prolactin, and bone density, and those risks compound with age — especially moving into your 50s.

None of this is a lecture, and nobody here is going to judge how you got your meds. But getting into a monitored situation protects you, and a lot of members have made that transition from DIY to prescribed without drama.

Planned Parenthood, informed-consent clinics, and Plume (telehealth) are common routes if your area is thin on trans-competent providers. If you want, I can point you to threads where folks have discussed making that switch.

One more thing. "A fresh start is always good" — yes. And you don't owe anyone, here or anywhere else, the story of the years you spent hiding. Share what serves you, when it serves you. This place runs at your pace.

We are really glad you're here,
— Susan💜

Welcome Back Tammy!!!

Lots of us here past the mid century mark who have navigated the challenges and built amazing lives!... Your answers are out there and worth all your good efforts to find... Amazing things await!... I am so glad you're here!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Welcome Tammy, pleased to meet you!

Hi all, Sorry I had to go do my therapists homework, LOL. I told my therapist the day I told her I am trans that I was on HRT. We are working on my issues with going places, especially doctors. I really appreciate places like this existing and will check out the forum for Mid-Century( wow I feel older somehow now, LOL). thank you for all the openness that I am feeling.

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 06:46:05 AMHi all, Sorry I had to go do my therapists homework, LOL. I told my therapist the day I told her I am trans that I was on HRT. We are working on my issues with going places, especially doctors. I really appreciate places like this existing and will check out the forum for Mid-Century( wow I feel older somehow now, LOL). thank you for all the openness that I am feeling.

Hey Tammy!

Fear Not Sister!... the half century mark gives us a true gift of power within our own lives... It is a time when we have lived our life in a lot of different ways... Jumped through all the hoops society has told us are the path satisfaction/fulfillment/happiness and seen that all of it left us short of that mark because... none of it truly addressed the core of who we are and the needs of the soul within!

You have glorious and amazing discoveries ahead girl... True connections to yourself... to others and to life await!... Approach it all with a spirit of adventure and hope in your heart because there is much to be hopeful about!

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Thanks, I am working to come to terms with telling my family but that is the scariest part right now. well that and potential unemployment.

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 04:34:01 PMThanks, I am working to come to terms with telling my family but that is the scariest part right now. well that and potential unemployment.

Telling my employer is one of the most scary things for me. I work for a local authority so they have strict rules preventing discrimination but it makes it no less scary! Whilst I do a predominantly female job, the department is mainly men with only 3 other female staff members in my directorate. As we have the option to work from home most people do this but I have been doing half at home and half at county hall I am usually the only one from my department in there. I am terrified of the prospect of going into county hall with no other work colleagues for support after transition. It is another reason why I am so keen to be passable when i do take the plunge.

I am currently working from home. Our company did a RTO to full in office. My Therapist was able to get me a short reprieve until mid summer. I am hoping to extend it. I am planning to leave this job when I am ready to go full time and start over somewhere else. I don't have children or a partner to worry about so I can atleast make that move. My company is suppose to be accepting but I work with a lot of people and I think it would be really hard to maintain those working relationships after knowing them for more than a decade.

Can someone point me to "Late-Onset Transsexual talk" I can't find it?

I have no partner or children either. I suppose it should make it easier but it certainly doesn't feel easier! I am probably worrying about nothing as I hardly ever see anyone from the team in person and I won't be the only trans person in the council but the other girl is so stealth I didn't know she was trans! I would love to have the same outcome.

If you aren't intending to stay you could just come out there as a test run maybe? Or are you woried it might affect your references?

Welcome back, Tammy! 

I honestly don't know how it works with references. If you leave and want to start work as your true self how does that work?

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 05:51:19 PMI honestly don't know how it works with references. If you leave and want to start work as your true self how does that work?

I genuinely don't know but it's a bloody good question. Maybe someone can chime in with the answer?

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 05:14:51 PMCan someone point me to "Late-Onset Transsexual talk" I can't find it?

Hey Tammy!

I don't think we have a dedicated area for late onset but if you post a new thread with late onset in the title under the transgender talk or transexual MTF section... you should get lots of responses!

Hugs!

Ashley 💕

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 05:14:51 PMCan someone point me to "Late-Onset Transsexual talk" I can't find it?

https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=57203.0

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on May 20, 2026, 06:27:20 PMhttps://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=57203.0

Thanks, Chrissy!

Quote from: tammy753 on May 20, 2026, 05:51:19 PMI honestly don't know how it works with references. If you leave and want to start work as your true self how does that work?

I have always used my name on the legal documents for applications, references, etc.
If it changes, then you use your then current legal name.  The deadname would likely linger though.  Others here can go further with their experiences to help you.

Changing your name on legal documents can be handled via many transgender support group associated lawyers for maybe a $500 fee or you can do it yourself.

Hi Tammy

Welcome back

Alana

So I had therapy today and she was happy I signed up here. To everyone here your support means the world to me!

Glad you are finding something that helps you. I look forward to seeing you grow

    @tammy753
Dear Tammy:
We are very pleased that you are finding needed support here on the Susan's Place Forum.

On behalf of all of our staff and members, I wish to THANK YOU for your kind and
generous financial support. 

We have received your donation TODAY in the form of your SILVER SUBSCRIPTION.
You will notice on your profile that you now have the Silver Subscriber designation and
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Thank you again for your support.  Your donation really matters.

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    The Forum Administrator  Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

cc: @Susan  @Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Lori Dee  @Mariah  @Sarah B

Quote from: tammy753 on May 21, 2026, 08:40:38 PMSo I had therapy today and she was happy I signed up here. To everyone here your support means the world to me!

Congrats on the new profile badge, Tammy! It looks good on you.

Thank you for your support. It means a lot.

We understand that not everyone can afford to subscribe or donate, and that is okay. Every little bit helps, and a silver subscription is a great help.

Thank you!

Hey, nice one Tammy, a fellow Silver Subscriber! It's so great of you to commit to financially supporting this fabulous resource.

Just knowing there are others out there has been huge for me. Some of you are dealing with some of me same issues and some of you are life goal role models. I want to see this place exist for others like me\us as long as possible.

Quote from: tammy753 on May 24, 2026, 09:07:10 AMJust knowing there are others out there has been huge for me. Some of you are dealing with some of me same issues and some of you are life goal role models. I want to see this place exist for others like me\us as long as possible.

Yeah, I'm with you there, some of the people on here are amazing role models. I hope to follow in their footsteps one day. It's inspiring stuff.