Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know the site is vastly female dominated but I just wanted to give a shout out to some of the guys and non-binary people who have personally inspired me in my time here. Because... just to see how, and who they are, reinforces what it means, and how important it is, to be yourself. I might not understand a lot of the struggles they have had, but I do understand the tenacity... the belief... and the way they approached life. Role models never think they are role models. They just do what they do.

Like Devlyn stated on another thread, I kind of go by direct contact with people, through members here. So I would like to mention a few. Most of you will have no idea who I am talking about, as they were here a long time ago. But just trust... they mattered to me.

Nero. My brother. A very troubled soul. But someone who... always knew what he wanted. Even when he thought the challenges were too hard to be able to achieve it. Someone who did a lot of good for a lot of people. He had a gentle way about him. A kindness borne from struggle.

Arch. Another good guy. Someone who approaches the world with temperance, and understanding. Always willing to listen to anyone, and offer whatever advice he could to anyone in need.

Taka. Kind of the same deal. The guys here tended to have qualities that are admirable in men.

Adrian.. my other brother. He went through so much but always cared about what other people were going through. He was a genuinely nice guy.

Ativan and Satinjoy. Both advocates for non-binary folks. They were passionate about this place having a strong non-binary place. And were tireless in making that a thing. They always made me think, and question.

It's kind of weird how things change. The site is more female dominated than probably ever. But... there have been a lot of people in my time here who have been inspirational, and role models who... also were.

Honorary mention to @Devlyn, though. She has always been a champion for equality, and seeing all sides of everything. Treating everyone with the same level of respect and understanding. Dev... for all our colourful relationship... you are one of my role models. I didn't always agree with you, but I always respected you. <3

We may not always see eye to eye, but I've always been able to look you in the eye. I know every name you listed there, they were all legends here.

We all need to remember to see people for who they are, understand that they're different from ourselves, and respect them for that.

Oh, you're a legend around here too. Don't ever forget that. 🙂

Hugs, Devlyn

I agree that @Sephirah is one of the legends here.

I have read many of Nero's posts, and I truly wish I had had the chance to meet him.

You give me far too much credit. I am just the quiet ghost who occasionally peeks out to offer a hug, haha. Think... Slimer with better table manners. Marginally. ;D

Nero would have loved you, Lori. Seriously. You have the same big heart and endless capacity for kindness.

Quote from: Devlyn on July 04, 2026, 06:00:03 PMWe all need to remember to see people for who they are, understand that they're different from ourselves, and respect them for that.

Truth. That can be lost sometimes but it's always something worth remembering, and reinforcing.

Hi Everyone

Yes Sephirah, some notable legends that you have mentioned and it is wise to keep them in mind.  However, do not discount your legendary status around here.  There is too much evidence here that bespeaks your legendary status in your own right.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah

I think it must be frustrating for trans men when the transgender topic comes up and almost everyone assume trans = male to female. It's like trans men are overlooked like they don't exist.

The whole bathroom political debate is a perfect example: every anti trans social media post is about keep men out of women's spaces (forgetting that trans men exist and will ironically be forced into women's spaces). I think trans men are going to make the politicians eat their words and policies.

Quote from: Jillian-TG on July 06, 2026, 06:22:09 AMI think it must be frustrating for trans men when the transgender topic comes up and almost everyone assume trans = male to female. It's like trans men are overlooked like they don't exist.

The whole bathroom political debate is a perfect example: every anti trans social media post is about keep men out of women's spaces (forgetting that trans men exist and will ironically be forced into women's spaces). I think trans men are going to make the politicians eat their words and policies.

I'm going to go off the topic of role models and respond to the restroom bit here.

I used to think that trans men using ladies rooms would go miles towards advancing our position. But they want to use the restroom that they identify with just as much as trans women do.

If we expect trans men to use ladies rooms to prove a point, aren't we just hiding behind them? Flip the positions, and we should just be using the men's rooms to prove a point?

Always the Devyl's advocate. 🙂

I would love to see more men in here as well and more nonbinary people. I'd be grateful for their voices and perspectives.

Quote from: Jillian-TG on July 06, 2026, 06:22:09 AMI think it must be frustrating for trans men when the transgender topic comes up and almost everyone assume trans = male to female. It's like trans men are overlooked like they don't exist.

Disclaimer: Read this with a a bit of flexibility, I don't mean it as black/white.

But perhaps that is a good state of things? They exist and media don't devote a lot of energy and attention to them. Wouldn't we all like things to be a bit less focused on these pseudo-issues that often are what media spins when it comes to the trans community?
❓️

Quote from: Devlyn on July 06, 2026, 07:26:00 AMI'm going to go off the topic of role models and respond to the restroom bit here.

I used to think that trans men using ladies rooms would go miles towards advancing our position. But they want to use the restroom that they identify with just as much as trans women do.

If we expect trans men to use ladies rooms to prove a point, aren't we just hiding behind them? Flip the positions, and we should just be using the men's rooms to prove a point?

Always the Devyl's advocate. 🙂

I agree it's no more fair to ask a trans man to use a womens bathroom than it is to force a trans woman into a male bathroom. I would not want anyone to have to do that just to make a point.

The realisation that is what these lawmakers are proposing should be all the evidence that is needed to reinforce how stupid this all is.

I would not be wanting to use male bathrooms as a transwoman just to prove a point as there is a significant safety concern involved. So far my work is insisting that trans staff absolutely have the right to use the bathrooms of their correct gender, regardless of the recent law changes. I applaud them for that.

Back to topic. For what it's worth, I would also (probably unsurprisingly) like to join the Sephirah appreciation society. Lauren has been the single most important influence on me, both on here and away from here. She deserves all the credit she gets. If she thinks so highly of these past members then I am certain my life is poorer having not had the chance to meet them.

Aside from people like Leslie Feinberg (Stone Butch Blues, Transgender Warriors), I don't really know of any famous trans men.  But I have encountered a few in my own life.

• John, an attorney who handled my name  change pro bono.  Unfortunately, he was unemployed when I knew him, I believe because he had transitioned.  The bar association (or whoever handles licensing of lawyers) would not allow him to change his name, so all the filings have his deadname.  Among other things, he managed to get the court to waive publication of my name change.
  
• Michael, someone I know from our trans Zoom group.  (He lives far enough away from the pride center that showing up in person is difficult for him.)  I appreciate his perspective on masculinity and how it warps most cis men, as it validates a lot of my own experiences.  FWIW, he works for the state education department in education about LGBT issues in the schools.  He was also a ballet dancer in a previous life, and has produced a nice video about cisnormativity in classical ballet.  I kind of wish I had him as a big brother.
• Loren, who works for our local pride center, and has always been welcoming to me.  He sends me texts of birthday cakes on my birthday and periodically asks me how I'm doing.

In contrast to my experiences with cis men, my experiences with trans men have been (mostly) pretty positive, and they don't trigger my usual hypervigilance the way even the nicest of cis men do.

Ajay Holbrook

Transgender bodybuilder wants to lift up his community
https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/07/health/turning-points-ajay-holbrook-transgender-bodybuilder
CNN - Updated Jun 8, 2019
 By Ryan Bergeron

My previous therapist (before I moved to another state) is a trans man. He's wonderful.

For some reason my sister Sephirah has the ability to call me from afar.

Nero. My brother and my friend. I so remember that terrible night when he cried out for help and I wasn't there. I have a painting of his "I am what I am" hanging in pride of place in my lounge. He was my friend. And yes we argued and disagreed, as friends do.

I always loved and appreciated the fantastic transmen on site. Arch, LordKat, to name just two, so many friends so many memories. Thank you guys.

Love to you all and keep strong.
Cindy
 

Quote from: Cindy on July 11, 2026, 02:17:56 AMFor some reason my sister Sephirah has the ability to call me from afar.

Nero. My brother and my friend. I so remember that terrible night when he cried out for help and I wasn't there. I have a painting of his "I am what I am" hanging in pride of place in my lounge. He was my friend. And yes we argued and disagreed, as friends do.

I always loved and appreciated the fantastic transmen on site. Arch, LordKat, to name just two, so many friends so many memories. Thank you guys.

Love to you all and keep strong.
Cindy
 

I wish you weren't quite so "afar", Cindy. There are a lot of people who could use your strength, your kindness, your way of seeing the world.

You were, and always will be probably my biggest role model here. For those who don't know... Cindy and I go way, WAY back. Whatever you think of me... apply it to her tenfold. She taught me... maybe half of what I know. ;)

LordKat... another legend. Jamie D, too. Denis, the fishin' fool. The forum admin around when I first joined. He believed in me, for some reason. Made me a mod after like 4 months of being here, haha. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end! The list goes on. I suspect a good many people who... made us all better... came through these doors. :)

This place has such a storied history. Giants on the shoulders of other giants. I am proud to have met and known so many amazing people.