Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone!  My name is Shannon, and I'm a 48-year-old trans woman from Vermont, where I live with my wife and our two daughters.

I figured out that I was trans at eight years old, but back in 1986 I had no vocabulary to understand what it was that I felt, and neither did my parents.  They did their best with what they knew at the time, and they were very kind, but their message was basically that it was probably just a phase, and even if it wasn't, it didn't matter because there was nothing to be done about it.  As a result, I spent most of my life simply making do with the cards I'd been dealt.  I didn't figure it out again until I was 45.

Here's how it happened.  I was talking to my older daughter one morning--she was six at the time--about how her day went.  She was telling me about someone at her school, and she didn't know whether they were a girl or a boy.  My wife and I gave her the typical leftist parent conversation about how the best way to find out is to ask someone who they thought they were, with the understanding that the answer might not match the way they looked, or might not even fall into easy categories like boy or girl.  She got bored halfway through (I mean, she was six) but the conversation stuck with me.

After all, if I had gotten that same response from my parents back in 1986, the trajectory of my life would have been very, very different.  That set me on a path to actually learn more about what it meant to be transgender, to discover that simply being able to deal with dysphoria was not somehow "proof" that I was cis.  A few weeks later, I told my wife (who was VERY supportive, and still is!) and began the process of transitioning.

That was back in 2023, and the last few years have been an amazing journey.  There were some people in my life that couldn't get on board, but way fewer than I feared, and I've made so many new friends in the time since then.  My life feels more wholesome and healthy now.

I'm looking forward to joining this community, sharing what I've learned and learning from others.  Thanks for reading!

Welcome Shannon!


Chrissy

Welcome! I think you will find many in here, who share a similar life-path.

Hi Shannon,

Welcome!  It is great that you have a wife helping you  transition.
I talked to my wife a lot about her experience growing up with sisters.

Marion

Hi Shannon, welcome to Susan's Place! My best friend suggested my name for me when I came out to her; it was a tossup between Shannon and Devlyn.

Here's our standard welcome pamphlet to get you off to a good start here on the site.

See you around the forums!

Hugs, Devlyn

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Hi Shannon, A big warm welcome from the UK!

I'm Sarah, a bit older than you at 50. I live in Northern England. I too knew from around the same age (about 7 years old in my case) and just tried to muddle through with the cards I was dealt. Hasn't worked for me anymore than it worked for you!

I look forward to learning more from you and hearing more about what you've learned. I'm sure it will help me and others as we negotiate transition.

Lovely to meet you.

Sarah xx

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome!

Quote from: Maid Marion on July 12, 2026, 07:16:37 AMIt is great that you have a wife helping you  transition.
I talked to my wife a lot about her experience growing up with sisters.

It really is.  I had no idea what coming out was going to do to my marriage, but I knew that hiding things or lying would poison it for sure.  I'm so glad we kept those lines of communication open.  I won't say it wasn't ever hard on her, but I think now we are a stronger couple than we ever were, and neither of us would ever want to go back.

Quote from: Devlyn on July 12, 2026, 07:18:21 AMMy best friend suggested my name for me when I came out to her; it was a tossup between Shannon and Devlyn.

Picking a name was actually way easier than I thought it was going to be!  I wanted to keep my original initials, so that trimmed down the possibilities considerably.  I also wanted a first name that was popular around the time I was born, one that came from the same general ethnic background (Irish), etc.  But to be honest, a lot of that was just retroactive justification for the name I already knew I wanted!

Quote from: Stottie Girl on July 12, 2026, 07:24:04 AMI live in Northern England.

Oh nice, whereabouts?  For whatever reason, a lot of my reading and media watching, in regards to the UK, has been centered on Northern England.  All Creatures Great and Small, for example--I devoured all of the James Herriot books before I even realized there was a TV show.

Hello and welcome to Susan's Place. I live in New England as well. We're happy to have you here. 💚

Hello Shannon,

It is wonderful to meet you. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Quote from: Shannonymous on July 12, 2026, 07:42:28 AMOh nice, whereabouts?  For whatever reason, a lot of my reading and media watching, in regards to the UK, has been centered on Northern England.  All Creatures Great and Small, for example--I devoured all of the James Herriot books before I even realized there was a TV show.

I'm a fair bit further north from the land of Herriot, That's more yorkshire I think. I'm in Northumberland just North of the city of Newcastle upon Tyne. Most northerly county in England, just North of the roman wall (where the wildlings live!). TV wise "The last Kingdom" and a lot of the "Vikings" series was based in this region.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on July 12, 2026, 01:00:35 PMI'm in Northumberland just North of the city of Newcastle upon Tyne.

Maybe one day our respective countries will get their acts together and it will be safer for me to make that kind of trip!

I have been to several cities in Vermont. Nice place!

Quote from: Shannonymous on July 12, 2026, 03:29:52 PMMaybe one day our respective countries will get their acts together and it will be safer for me to make that kind of trip!

It's perfectly safe to travel here Shannon. What are you hearing that makes you think it isn't?

The bathroom laws are in a state of flux and we all like to moan about them but other than that there are plenty of protections for trans people. I don't think you would have too much to worry about really.

There are trans haters out there like there are everywhere. Maybe they are a bit more emboldened than before but in truth I would think you are unlikely to encounter any issues. If you have a burning desire to travel here then I would say go for it!

Hi Shannon!

Alana

Quote from: Stottie Girl on July 12, 2026, 03:51:04 PMWhat are you hearing that makes you think it isn't?

Wait... are you saying that the media is blowing things out of proportion?  🤯

Seriously, though, everything I hear over here is people getting arrested for going into the wrong restroom and stuff like that.  But it's immaterial for a little while--intercontinental travel is a little out of our budget at the moment.

Quote from: Shannonymous on July 12, 2026, 05:26:46 PMWait... are you saying that the media is blowing things out of proportion?  🤯

Seriously, though, everything I hear over here is people getting arrested for going into the wrong restroom and stuff like that.  But it's immaterial for a little while--intercontinental travel is a little out of our budget at the moment.

I have not heard of a single person getting arrested for being in the wrong restroom. I'm not sure where that story is coming from? It is NOT a criminal offense for a transwoman to use the female bathroom in the UK, you cannot be arrested for that. The legal change just means that the building owner has the right to ask you to leave if it causes an issue which it almost never would. If you refused to do so then technically you could be arrested for trespass but you would just go in that situation anyway.

The anger in the UK is more of a principle thing, we should have the absolute right to use a womens WC as transwomen and the same should be true for trans men in male WC's.

If you are at all worried about that then use the disabled for now. You cannot even be ticked off for doing that.

Truth is you would almost certainly be fine in any ladies bathroom.

Hello Shannon,
Welcome.

I enjoyed reading your introduction. I love reading other peoples discovery stories and adventures there after.

I too am another late in life discoverer.