Susan's Place Transgender Resources

One of the things I've been struggling with is picking a new name.

I was invited to a party this afternoon where one of the guests was someone my approximate age, maybe younger by a little bit, who's recently come out as a trans man. The conversation shifted around to how he picked his new name and I missed an opportunity to jokingly ask around "Hey if I were a girl what would I call myself?" as a way of soliciting ideas from my community of friends. Might even have asked "Hey, mind if I borrow your deadname since you're not using it any more?" (That kind of joke would be totally in-bounds with this crowd. We all appreciate sarcasm and dark humor.)

I am not yet out to friends but when I finally do at least I'll have a supportive community. 🥰

Picking a name is difficult and takes time.  I didn't announce what name I was going to choose when I first came out, since I was still trying to figure out the meaning behind the name that I wanted to use to present to the world. 

I have taken a feminine version of my given first name.

I struggled with that too.

I finally settled on a phonetic version of my given name. You'll know it when you can look in the mirror, call yourself that name, and it fits and you feel good being called that name.

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 26, 2026, 03:03:11 PMI struggled with that too.

I finally settled on a phonetic version of my given name. You'll know it when you can look in the mirror, call yourself that name, and it fits and you feel good being called that name.

You have a nice name.  It sounds good.

I had ummed and ahhed about various names, I was quite partial to Isla, Chloe and Sophie personally but when I came to Susans, Sephirah (Lauren) asked me what my name was and I immediately answered Sarah Louise. When my mum was pregnant with me she was totally convinced that I was a girl. She had picked out that name for me and when I was born she suddenly had to scramble to pick a male name as it never occured to her I would have been born a boy. She has reminded me of that all through my life so my name kind of picked itself, partly to honour my mum and partly because I feel it was the name I should have been given in the first place.

I do find Isla, Chloe and Sophie to be nicer names really but Sarah Louise just seems right.

I just saw the name Charlotte and liked it. A couple of days later just decided it was right. Like most things with me, impulsive and just go with it!

I didn't want to just use the female version of my dead name Christopher.

This is the sort of thing I would normally struggle with. Research, conversations, memories...months. 

Oddly for me, my name just came to me. It has stuck. 

I disliked every part of my deadname.  There was no way I was going to choose a name I didn't like.  Yes, I struggled for a while too.

My first name was easy.  I've always loved 'Elizabeth' and 'Liz' was a no-brainer.  My middle and last names though....ugh.  It took weeks.  

Part of the issue was honoring my French and Greek heritage while preserving my privacy.  Then there was the difficulty of finding names that were easy to spell and pronounce.  I chose a French variation of a common given name.  But there aren't many Greek surnames that are easy to spell and pronounce.  I eventually settled on one that I liked.  And no, I won't tell y'all what it is.  Liz K will do just fine!

Quote from: Liz K on July 26, 2026, 06:14:48 PMI disliked every part of my deadname.  There was no way I was going to choose a name I didn't like.  Yes, I struggled for a while too.

My first name was easy.  I've always loved 'Elizabeth' and 'Liz' was a no-brainer.  My middle and last names though....ugh.  It took weeks. 

Part of the issue was honoring my French and Greek heritage while preserving my privacy.  Then there was the difficulty of finding names that were easy to spell and pronounce.  I chose a French variation of a common given name.  But there aren't many Greek surnames that are easy to spell and pronounce.  I eventually settled on one that I liked.  And no, I won't tell y'all what it is.  Liz K will do just fine!

Okay Katerina or Kalli or . . .

I have been Tammy in my mind for a long time. I think I just decided that was the easiest for me to transition. I have been debating changing my last name but I am not sure I want to go that far. Originally I had planned to just disappear from my family and now I am thinking of telling them so I am on the fence. Not sure if any of this helps but I did pick a middle name just be cause it makes my last name work. I am probably looking at it a little to pragmatically.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on July 26, 2026, 03:30:06 PMWhen my mum was pregnant with me she was totally convinced that I was a girl. She had picked out that name for me and when I was born she suddenly had to scramble to pick a male name as it never occured to her I would have been born a boy.

The same here!

My Mom picked Beverly Ann. Well, she had to wait on that. Our family tradition is to have the oldest son named after their grandfather, so they only changed my middle name.

Beverly Ann didn't work for me. In my mind, if someone said Larry, they were mispronouncing my name. My name is Lawrence, so how do you get Larry from that? Harry is short for Harold, Terry is short for Terrence, so Larry is short for Larrence or Larold? It is pronounced like Lorrence, so it would be Lori. Dee is my youngest uncle's middle name, and Lori Dee just fits together like Mary Jane, Betty Sue, or Jo Ellen.

I kept my last name to honor my family tradition, even though they don't honor me.

@ChrissyRyan Thank you!

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 26, 2026, 07:19:14 PMThe same here!

My Mom picked Beverly Ann. Well, she had to wait on that. Our family tradition is to have the oldest son named after their grandfather, so they only changed my middle name.

Beverly Ann didn't work for me. In my mind, if someone said Larry, they were mispronouncing my name. My name is Lawrence, so how do you get Larry from that? Harry is short for Harold, Terry is short for Terrence, so Larry is short for Larrence or Larold? It is pronounced like Lorrence, so it would be Lori. Dee is my youngest uncle's middle name, and Lori Dee just fits together like Mary Jane, Betty Sue, or Jo Ellen.

I kept my last name to honor my family tradition, even though they don't honor me.

@ChrissyRyan Thank you!

I like Lori but I also think "Bev" would have suited you!