Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I hope this question hasn't been asked a million times already, but my search (very limited, I'm on my phone) didn't find any recent topics on it so I hope it's okay.

So my wife is contemplating and trying out new names. She knows a name she's always kinda liked (Denise), but for practical purposes she prefers to find a name with the same initial as her birth name (B).
So we now go through fases where she tries out different names and I will call her whatever has her fancy today. I hope this will help her make a good decision and find the perfect fit.

I was wondering, what are/were things you take/took into consideration when picking a new name?
Hoping to learn from your experience!

Hi Belle,

You will probably get so many different answers to this one!

For me, my mum always told me how when she was pregnant she was utterly convinced I was a girl. She picked out the name Sarah Louise for me. It was a massive shock when I arrived and she suddenly had to think of a boy's name (probably why I was named after both my grandfathers!). When it came time to choose a name for who I really am it was a no brainer, I honoured my mothers wishes. I like other names better, was really fond of Sophie and Chloe actually but Sarah Louise meant something, it felt like it corrected things for me a bit in some ways. Probably a bit silly really but there you go!

I chose Anna because of:
- I like it
- It is somewhat popular with ladies my age
- It has some resemblance with my male name (not yet a deadname).

It was really simple for me. I saw tje name and just find it cute. Thought of a couple of others, but opted for one that shared the initial of my dead name. It's not always required to overthink these things. If it feels good, just run with it!

Charlotte ❤️

I just made top 10 lists for the first, middle, and last names. I mixed and matched until I found something that I liked.

We do have a related topic, and I agree it can be hard to find on your phone. See if this helps:

How did you choose your female name
https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=37090.msg245033#msg245033

Like your wife, I wanted a name that preserved my initials.  That reduced paperwork on a few things (not many).  More practically, it allows me to display my military certificates, which only had my initials + surname, without embarrassment.

Like Anna, I also wanted a name that was age-appropriate.  A millennial name doesn't fit a boomer.  I didn't want the first thing people think when I am introduced to be, "That obviously isn't her original name."  I could do without making them to wonder why.  A name that was common when I was born fits.

And I wanted it to be easy to learn a new signature.  My old name and new name are graphically pretty similar.

The most important thing is that she likes her name.

My neighbour is my very good friend, to the point I call her my sister and I call her daughter my niece. Due to circumstances my niece likely won't have children and I wanted to give her the chance to actually name someone. The 3 of us got together on a phone call and the first name she came up with was Sophia and I didn't really think that it fit that well. She then came up with the name Athena which all 3 of us really liked. After deciding to use Athena I thought about it and I honestly didn't mind Sophia as a middle name. Though I didn't mind my family name I really hated who I was so I decided to change my family name. I looked online for family names and I found the German last name of Katz, named after Katz castle and I always said that I would become a crazy cat lady I thought that it would fit. So in the end I wound up with the name Athena Sophia Katz.

As for your wife I might suggest looking online and if worse comes to worse go with a name generator. You can choose different heritages or if she is really brave she can choose a fantasy name if she likes it.

I would normally analyze this ad nauseum, but on some trans website I was asked to use a name. Krista just came to me. No matching initial or logic but I have used it for years (though publicly only for months)

For me, it was about making a fresh start. I didn't care one bit about how the family felt. I lived in a cage for a long, long time. No thanks.

Thanks for sharing, everyone! It's lovely to see all the different reasonings and processes.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on August 08, 2026, 04:21:23 PMFor me, my mum always told me how when she was pregnant she was utterly convinced I was a girl.

Looks like your mother was right all along!

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 08, 2026, 06:00:23 PMWe do have a related topic, and I agree it can be hard to find on your phone. See if this helps:

How did you choose your female name
https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=37090.msg245033#msg245033

Thank you!
It seems to be quite an old topic with many responses deleted by now, so I'm very thankful for all the current responses I'm getting here

My name selection tale is on the site a few times, but I love the sound of my own voice, so here we go again! 🤣

I was using Tracey online, and when I came out to my friend, she said "You don't look like a Tracey". The next day she suggested Devlyn, and well, you can see the result of that. 🙂

When it was time for the legal name change I wanted a complete break from family, so I kept Devlyn but changed everything else.


The added benefit: when you go to souvenir shops they don't stock the tiny bike license plates with Devlyn on them. Going to the registry of motor vehicles is a completely different matter. 😀

I thought about it for a while and I was looking at what different names meant Biblically.  But I also wanted one that was popular in the 80's, the decade I was born. 

Then the first Sunday I went to my new church, still using my old name, the pastor thought I had said the name I now go by, when I introduced myself, and I've wondered if that was God revealing, much like He revealed Jacob's new name as Israel through the angel of god that Jacob struggled with.

I've been trying to pick a name too.

I've been looking at age approapriate lists to find a name starting with P but there aren't that many P female names.

I have thought about a couple but nothing that jumps out at me

Quote from: Petunia on August 20, 2026, 10:57:09 PMI've been trying to pick a name too.

I've been looking at age approapriate lists to find a name starting with P but there aren't that many P female names.

I have thought about a couple but nothing that jumps out at me

Sometimes, I have used random name generators. Authors and gamers use them to find a name that fits a particular character. This one is interesting: https://www.name-generator.org.uk/female/

It truly differs for all. Certainly one wants to look at several names they like. These considerations also sometimes result in certain combinations of first, middle, and even last. My last name only changed because I got married. It also sometimes helps to try a name out even and see if it fits and see if your wife is comfortable with that name. I agree creating lists can be very helpful. I avoided any variant of the prior first name, where as my spouse picked a variant of her prior name. Anyways, I hope this helps. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 20, 2026, 11:07:24 PMSometimes, I have used random name generators. Authors and gamers use them to find a name that fits a particular character. This one is interesting: https://www.name-generator.org.uk/female/

Whoa Lori, that name generator sure knows quite a bit about a person when you look at the name profiles!

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 20, 2026, 11:07:24 PMSometimes, I have used random name generators. Authors and gamers use them to find a name that fits a particular character. This one is interesting: https://www.name-generator.org.uk/female/

I used one of those when I wrote Erica Porcupine's backstory. I chose Alexandra as her middle name. It had a nice ring to it.

Quote from: Petunia on August 20, 2026, 10:57:09 PMI've been trying to pick a name too.

I've been looking at age approapriate lists to find a name starting with P but there aren't that many P female names.

I have thought about a couple but nothing that jumps out at me

Penny? Paloma? Poppy? Phoebe? Phillipa? Pippa?

You are right that there aren't many names beginning with P. Why does it have to begin with P? If you are choosing a new name you have free reign to go nuts with it don't you?

Penelope (Penny) is a nice name.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on August 21, 2026, 01:13:23 AMPenny? Paloma? Poppy? Phoebe? Phillipa? Pippa?

You are right that there aren't many names beginning with P. Why does it have to begin with P? If you are choosing a new name you have free rein to go nuts with it don't you?

I went nuts. I was ready to be me with a name that felt right. I had been given a multigenerational first name and felt a mix of pride and resentment about that. 

My name came to me in a striking and unexpected moment of insight. I'm glad it's nothing like my dead name. 

You can have any name you like and if your identity is linked to P names, that's great, too!

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 20, 2026, 11:07:24 PMSometimes, I have used random name generators. Authors and gamers use them to find a name that fits a particular character. This one is interesting: https://www.name-generator.org.uk/female/

This is a fabulous tip! Many beautiful names we never even thought of before pop up. Thank you!

I'm a bit picky. I don't want the same name as anybody we know which really limits choices.

Penelope is nice but Aussies are big on nicknames so that would become pitstop. Paloma is fine if you're Spanish.
Poppy sounds like a grandfather.

Phoebe, friends.

Phillpia would become Phil.

Pippa is ok I guess.

I was thinking of Polly Jean as the initials are the same and PJ would become the nickname.  (Polly on it's own makes me think of some of the parrots we feed at home. Polly want a cracker?)

Lucky I never had to name a child

Another technique you can try, since you want the first letter to be "P," is to start by constructing a list in alphabetical order...

Names starting with Pa...

Pe

Pi

Po

Pu

Py

Ps could give you Psyko! 🤣

If you get stuck, start adding the next letter...

Names that start with

Paa
Pab
Pac
Pad
Pae
Paf
Pag
etc.