Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi  :D

I already feel a rarity as a I come from Holland in Europe,,I get the impression theres so many americans here! ;)

I am a 23 year old and I find it a bit hard to ehmmm..lable myself. Mostly I go with Transgender, sometimes with Androgyne. I dont really hate my penis, I can enjoy it...so I dont think I am a TS

I am not the typical story that I have felt this way since I was a little boy ( I was a soft and rather nurturing boy however -hated the soccer and judo I went to-, but didnt have any wishes/desires to become a girl, as far as I can remember) but instead my feelings and doubts started around my 18th year. I came to the conclusion that I wasnt a TV since I couldnt really identify with what they did at all....it was more of a mixture of feminine and masculine energy that I feel goes thru my body and brain ( Although I aprreciate my feminine energy more, but thats no surprise I guess  ::)) .

I had a rather problematic life ( But I am not the only one thank god) ; my mother divorced a few times, I got depressed at my 14th and I take anti-fear and anti-depressants since quite a few years. Well all in all it wasnt that bad, but I think my current problem with being gender-dysphoric is really a trouble; I mean it goes on and on all day long, with the slightest things you do or say I am confronted with it ( I am doing something wrong). I am thankful and shocked I am still alive! :o

It confronts me daily; my voice , its a bit high for a male one and I often get accused of being gay( We all stereotype I know  ;D) but its still not a female voice ( I am utterly terrified that whenever I online game with a group, something I love to do, that I have to talk and sound like a male! I wanna sound like a female so I can not only have my female character in the game but also by my voice) , whenever I am spoken to as "mister" I get so frustrated and wanna burst out in tears , but I cant. And the thought of being called miss is kind of strange to me aswell...but perhaps thats because youve been raised and socialized mostly as a boy/male all your life. I dont really know. 

I can get kind of lonely and often sit at home, reading, sleeping and gaming. But whenever I get out and meet people I notice a very strong burst of feminine energy in me, its really odd...I am more feminine when I socialize/am with other people. And the same counts for love really....I have some crushes on men ( especially men with stubble <3) sometimes but its mostly women that I emotionally and sexually want to connect with. And the strangest thing happens to me when I like a girl/woman: I start trying to act more feminine( sensual walk , wavy hands, overusage of facial expressions and nodding) and try to higher my voice. Its really odd behaviour...I havent heard of someone else doing it, I am confused by it

I am not really someone that says : "Men are like this and Women are totally different" ..I think there is a scale and most women and men belong to a side of it while some of them float far and in between. Generally I just get along better with females; the things we talk about, the way we talk etc . I also dont really understand the more violent nature of men and they masculinity they are so proud of. I am still a little too sexual ( damn those testosterone) , I cant cry easily ( but this is also due to my medication which lowers your emotions) and I can be a little lazy with the chores in house :P

But generally, I love having my 2 cats ( theyre sisters!), having purple/pink coloured butterfly bed "thingies") you know those things which cover your bed and pillow :S), love to dance, love all the cute feminine clothing, love jewelry, love to gossip and shop...but also..online gaming! :p

To make a long story short.. Hi, I hope you appreciate me here and perhaps I can get in touch with some people :)   

Greets,

Hi Veetje and welcome to Susans. Thank you for sharing your story. Your story is interesting and there are some here who have gone through similar experiences. You are among family here. Post as often as you want.

Gennee

:)

Hello Veetje and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Main_Page), chat (https://www.susans.org/chat/index.html), and the links listed at the main page. (https://www.susans.org/index.html)  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay :)

tink :icon_chick:

Welkom

from one lazy european type androgyne type person to another....hello.

I work in a pub, and have had strangers ask me if I were gay...and also other drunk people think I am a woman despite my not at all feminine appearance...I think being androgyne is a very odd kind of a social dysfunction, and we dysfunctionals should stick together.

hi Veetje.  Welcome. I have only been here a week and it already feels like home.  I hope you find that you have quite a bit in common with everyone here.  I also wish the best for you.


           Hugs, JESSI

Hey, Welcome!
I have a Friend who's Dutch.
Maybe now I have two?
I'm Sara!
Welcome!


Sara

Quote from: Veetje on January 28, 2008, 10:34:23 AM

I am not really someone that says : "Men are like this and Women are totally different" ..I think there is a scale and most women and men belong to a side of it while some of them float far and in between.

Very very perceptive insight there. If more people could understand this there would be much more acceptance.

Welcome to Susan where I am sure you will be a very appreciated voice.
Looking forward to hear more about you, your journey, your experiences and your thoughts.

LLL&R

Maebh

PS. Don't feel a stranger, there is quite a few of us here from all over EUrope and beyond.

Welcome Veetje,

Hope you like susans.org, you should join and make a profile.

Mara

Thanks for the warm welcome  ;D

I dont really know what to say so I will just read here and there and see if I can contribute a little bit  ;)

,Hugs

hey veetje do you live in holland?

Yep, Rotterdam :D

Hello, Veetje. It's a bit late, but 'Welcome to Susan's!'

Nichole