Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Today is one of my days off, and I was out buying some items at Kmart, so naturally, I stopped at womens clothing to rake through the racks of seasonal clearance for bargains.  Just another day off, minding my own business, when *ring* goes the cell phone.  It was Marcy.  She had stayed home, not feeling well and was called by the school nurse to pick up our grandson, who had run a fever.

My daughter and son-in-law were out of town for the day, so I was elected to rescue our little grandson.  Now, as I recalled, I was listed as an emergency contact at the school, and on the list of people allowed to take the children out if need be.  Of course, they still have me listed as Michael Beverly ______, my given male birth name.  Who knew several years ago that I would be here in Kmart, taking this call, dressed as usual, female casual, jeans, a nice top, dangles, bracelet, French-tip nails, light makeup.  You get the idea......not someone looking anything remotely like a grandfather.

I sighed.  "You know" I said, "you're going to have to let them know who's coming to pick him up..."

"Yes", she said. "I know.  "I'm sorry, honey, but there's nothing we can do about it....sorry...."

So, Marcy called the school nurse, and told her that our grandchild's grandfather Michael would pick him up, and that Michael now goes by his middle name, Beverly. 

A lovely set up.  First, showing up en femme and then referenced as grandfather, and his

I showed up at the school office, and said I was there to pick up my grandson, Christopher.  They showed me to the next room, to find the school nurse.  She was there, with Christopher on the couch.  She smiled warmly at me.  "Oh, you're the grandma" she said, still smiling. 
Christopher looked at me, and said immediately, "Hi Papa!"

"Oh, isn't that cute" the nurse said, "he likes to call you Papa".  Then she stopped to think about who she was looking at, what she had just said, and the phone call from Marcy.  She looked at me carefully for a while, and said finally, "Oh.....you must be Beverly.

"Yes, that's me" I said, brightly.  She kept looking at me, disbelieving.  She saw a woman, she heard a woman, but knew clearly I had been referenced as male.

I looked back, smiled, and said "some things change".

She handed me the sign-out sheet, and still smiling, said, "sign here, sir"

I signed my name (Beverly), handed it back, and said "sir no longer seems appropriate"

And so I took Christopher home.  When my daughter came home, she said she would change the list at school to Mrs Beverly ______



'nuther day.

Bev

That's really sweet and touching. Wow.

I've been sitting here for several minutes now, giggling and crying at the same time.

  Nfr

Quote from: Beverly on January 28, 2008, 08:00:29 PM
Today is one of my days off, and I was out buying some items at Kmart, so naturally, I stopped at womens clothing to rake through the racks of seasonal clearance for bargains.  Just another day off, minding my own business, when *ring* goes the cell phone.  It was Marcy.  She had stayed home, not feeling well and was called by the school nurse to pick up our grandson, who had run a fever.

My daughter and son-in-law were out of town for the day, so I was elected to rescue our little grandson.  Now, as I recalled, I was listed as an emergency contact at the school, and on the list of people allowed to take the children out if need be.  Of course, they still have me listed as Michael Beverly ______, my given male birth name.  Who knew several years ago that I would be here in Kmart, taking this call, dressed as usual, female casual, jeans, a nice top, dangles, bracelet, French-tip nails, light makeup.  You get the idea......not someone looking anything remotely like a grandfather.

I sighed.  "You know" I said, "you're going to have to let them know who's coming to pick him up..."

"Yes", she said. "I know.  "I'm sorry, honey, but there's nothing we can do about it....sorry...."

So, Marcy called the school nurse, and told her that our grandchild's grandfather Michael would pick him up, and that Michael now goes by his middle name, Beverly. 

A lovely set up.  First, showing up en femme and then referenced as grandfather, and his

I showed up at the school office, and said I was there to pick up my grandson, Christopher.  They showed me to the next room, to find the school nurse.  She was there, with Christopher on the couch.  She smiled warmly at me.  "Oh, you're the grandma" she said, still smiling. 
Christopher looked at me, and said immediately, "Hi Papa!"

"Oh, isn't that cute" the nurse said, "he likes to call you Papa".  Then she stopped to think about who she was looking at, what she had just said, and the phone call from Marcy.  She looked at me carefully for a while, and said finally, "Oh.....you must be Beverly.

"Yes, that's me" I said, brightly.  She kept looking at me, disbelieving.  She saw a woman, she heard a woman, but knew clearly I had been referenced as male.

I looked back, smiled, and said "some things change".

She handed me the sign-out sheet, and still smiling, said, "sign here, sir"

I signed my name (Beverly), handed it back, and said "sir no longer seems appropriate"

And so I took Christopher home.  When my daughter came home, she said she would change the list at school to Mrs Beverly ______



'nuther day.

Bev

That's so wonderful Bev  :'(

*hugs*  :)

tink :icon_chick:

well you didn't get harrased which seems like your accepted  ;)

OMG, that's such a sweet story! It made me all gooshy inside! And I actually said, "awwww" out loud. :)

*hugs*

--natalie :)

 :laugh:kudos girl. that was beautiful!

Being called "sir" can be a form of harassment, if intended maliciously... although it's often said in ignorance... and in this case I'm guessing the nurse was just flustered about what to say.

Humans fluster so easily when you switch gender on them.

Quote from: Hypatia on February 02, 2008, 07:42:42 AM
Humans fluster so easily when you switch gender on them.

Don't we just? :laugh:

Gender is one of those things we acculturate very early on -- like way before we are ever conscious. And most people never have to question what they think of gender. It's like thinking of people having heads: we just do.

Gender is so deeply ingrained that most people, I think, become very uncomfortable with thinking at all about it. Thus, the hatred and total nastiness. We truly hate having to ponder or accept that our deepest unconsciously held beliefs are up-to-question.

The fact she recovered speaks to her goodwill I think.

N~

Beverly, I think you handled it very well and are to be commended for it. Here's the thing that I'll never get about this getting called sir business...I know that it confuses people, I know that people are used to addressing people in a certain way, but what part of someone who is presenting as female and has a female name makes it look like they want to be addressed as sir? Don't want to give out a ma'am? Fine, no problem, just don't say anything, but the sir nonsense is unnecessary and uncalled for.

Karen Starlene

That is an awesome story Bev!, you handled yourself like a pro. Thanks for sharing :)

Dawn

Bev, your responses were incredible.  And I bet those school workers really had something to think about now.  You did a lot to change their image of who we are.  Than you!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Wow, that's pretty cool.  See, why can't everyone be that understanding?
I get sir'd all the time (though I haven't started anything at all yet) and it still irks me a bit.  But I can't really blame the store clerks right now.  Later though we'll see...

What a cool story! Thanks for sharing Bev. You are an inspirational granma as well, lemme tell ya!