Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, has everyone decided on their preference on a title?  Do you want people to refer to you as Ms, Miss, Mrs, etc.
What's your preference?

Addendum:  After some "what about us" kind of replies, let me add this: 
Okay, okay.....I thought my bias in this question was obvious.  This was intended as a girls only question.  I'll even add this:  If you are a guy, or any other gender in-between that and female, and prefer to be addressed by a traditional female title, THEN, what would you choose?
*Sheesh*

i like being referred to as mrs. as i am married to a wonderful woman and have two wonderful children


Mickie

Quote from: Renate on January 29, 2008, 10:59:43 AM
Hi Beverly:

Just a matter of taste, but some FTM's might like being called "Mr" the most.

Renate

That's my preference :) . Either that or "Your Highness", "Your Majesty", "Your Eminence"... you get the idea.

Dennis

For some odd reason a large number of people call me "miss."

I prefer my name or my nicknames.

I like Ms. as I am married to my wife and that is her title and she deserves it. I don't want to be called Miss. as I am married and that title is for an unmarried woman. So Ms. is what the feminist created back in the 60's I think. It doesn't claim the part of a married woman nor does it say single either. I like it. My opinion. Guys only have one title, Mr. I never liked that. I hated being called Mr. Coats. I love being called Ms. Coats. I feels so natural.
Sheila

I get Missy alot?? Miss or Ms is just fine :)

Miss is the best choice for me since iam not married or plain on it . thus so  i chosse Miss :)

Generally I prefer "Miss", but if someone is so enclined, call me Princess :P

also not married and very young at heart heh

I like to called Kim.
Just dont call me Sr.

Kim

Doctor, but not really bothered if Ms or Miss is used.

Rebecca

I am usually called Miss.  I guess I still haven't reached that m'am status.  Perhaps fifteen or twenty years from now?  ;) ;D

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Tink on January 29, 2008, 11:09:39 PM
I am usually called Miss.  I guess I still haven't reached that m'am status.  Perhaps fifteen or twenty years from now?  ;) ;D

tink :icon_chick:

ooo!! Gosh, I hope it isn't too much a struggle for you, Tink!  :laugh: :laugh:

I get 'miss' about half the time and 'ma'am' the other half. I tend to prefer just my name.

Although I am thinking of insisting that my partner use 'miss.'  ^-^

Nichole

Since I don't identify as either gender, none of the usual titles work for me. I'd probably choose to invent a new one or use none. If I need to use an existing one, Ms is OK... Just don't call me sir, unless you like seeing me angry  :P

y2g

Ma'am is fine. My mail comes under Ms. I would love Miss, but I'm too old. I like being called Nickie better than anything else though...

My mail comes under Mr...really fun to go and claim something. They either think I'm someone else, or it outs me (they usually know someone who's trans so they 'get it' sooner by the mismatch).

My mail is affected by my legal name cause its government, and my only ID to claim packages. For letters I use my chosen name.

I also have to order things under my legal name since I use my paypal account (funded from my bank account, under my male name) which must match the name on paypal, which must match the name on their billing address...so yeah it's a pain.

As for preferring Princess, it's cause that's what my name means :P only a couple friends call me that way though.

I like it when someone calls me miss, makes me feel like I am still much younger then I am. Just a kid at heart still ah? :laugh: Well Mam is usually used by the attendants in stores, and supermarkets. that's OK too, I yep and that too. ;)

Cindy

the uk uses 'maam, miss, mz/ms' less.... i tend to get everything from 'love' through to 'darlin and sugar' ><

out of those, i prefer miss, i am a miss... im not a middleaged unmarried woman (ms, (its most common usage in the uk, or by marrige title feminazis)) im not married, and im CERTAINLY not a missy!
what am i? 12? :P
R >:D

Here in Texas, every female above the age of 12  is called "Mamm".  When I am presenting as male, I call the 16 year old cashier at McDonald's "Mamm".  In the south, it is a title of respect.

There are times when I am dressed like a construction worker, sitting in my truck, paying for a cup of coffee and get called "Mamm".  I just smile and reply softly "Thank You".

Quote from: Cindy Smith on January 29, 2008, 02:16:19 PM
I get Missy alot??

Marcy likes to call me that too sometimes....when she does, I can tell I'm in trouble  >:D

Bev

Posted on: February 02, 2008, 09:34:51 AM

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Quote from: Schala on February 01, 2008, 04:02:41 PM

I also have to order things under my legal name since I use my paypal account (funded from my bank account, under my male name) which must match the name on paypal, which must match the name on their billing address...so yeah it's a pain.

I have a paypal account (2, actually) under Beverly (last name), that is attached to my name at my bank.  They match social to last name, even my other credit cards. So many common law names, they tend toward social and last.  If they question it, just tell them that's the name everyone knows you by, both in business, and in person.    And yes, I have things delivered to me under my preferred name.
But hey, it's up to you.  I've never been one to follow convention.  I can prove it:  I started 2 sentences with conjunctions!



Bev

Nah, you just butchered our fine language ;)

Here were less scary neutral, miss and mrs adds a personal edge to business. most young women arnt afraid of being unmarried thesedays... and miss is almost seen as a post feminist thing.... women are alowed to revel in thier femininity, while maintaining power. a woman doenst have to hide her marital status to  have power. lets face it, only Misses use Mz.... most married women LIKE to change thier last name and use Mrs... its called tradition. The trans communitys hardcore feminism sometimes misses little things like that.
R >:D

they call me ms. and sometimes bitch >:D

Quote from: Natasha on February 03, 2008, 05:14:12 AM
they call me ms. and sometimes bitch >:D

ROFL  ;D  Do they call you anything else that starts with the consonant "c"?  I have heard that a couple of times myself!

tink :icon_chick:

Well I was called bitch once, when I was crossing the street and forgot to look at the light and this guy in his half tone screeched to a stop and rolled the window down and shouted "bitch!!!" at me I turned and curtsied and said "thank you," then finished crossing the street. When I got to the other side I laughing so hard I was crying. That felt so good. Isn't it nice to have a blast from the past of neat stuff from our female selves. ;D

Cindy

Posted on: February 03, 2008, 09:18:03 PM

---

There was this other time I was doing some shopping down town with a friend and her three children. We came out of the store kind of burdened with different items and headed for the car. I was wearing a sun dress that day and it was sort of sultry day out. Anyway Tracy ushered the kids into the back seat and I had the back door open unburdening myself from the items we had just purchased. Next thing I know I hear car tiers screeching and I could hear Tracy laughing her butt off. I looked back and there was two cars stopped in the middle of the street with both front ends nearly touching each other. The guy in the oncoming car was swearing at the one going the other way. Then Tracy filled me in about what had happened and finishing by telling me that I probably was the first lady in the history of Midland to stop traffic.

Cindy

I've heard someone, probably punks about my age or younger, call me a bitch as I was passing in a small tunnel (for pedestrians) under the highway to reach the streets. I was maybe 2 weeks full-time then, but it was cold so I had a coat...I don't know why they said it though, since I said nothing.

Hi Schala to me at the time I was compared to a bitch by that man, it felt it more like a compliment at the time instead tacking it as an ignorant remark. I can so remember the hot summer days during the early part of living full time.

There were times I would drive down the highway wearing a low cut neck line, knee length sun dress. All the windows rolled down, my hair fluttering in the wind and the music on the car radio blaring. I would be just a boogieing down the highway and sometimes even making an attempt to sing along with whatever song was on the car radio. I would get right into rock then, Actually I still love rock music. Well here I am snapping my fingers and rocking back and forth to the beat of the music behind the steering wheel.

I would see these truck drivers pulling up beside me, I would stick my chest out and pretended I was oblivious to them and they would give me a blast on the air horn, I would glance over to them and most times they would be wearing this big ass silly smile on their face and then waved as they went by. I just felt so free, like the lady in Harper Vally PTA. she was my inspiration. I love making people smile or and laugh. There is an art to putting a smiles on peoples faces, it truly is an art. An art that I have adopted through the years, and it came in quite handy. For that mater I kind of always had that gift and of course I love to oblige, there is no hesitation. I can put on this act pretty well anywhere where there are people. I guess that's pretty good for an old bat who thinks shes in her teens still.  this town ain't seen the likes of me yet. "hee, hee, hee." Nice to be back to normal.

Me I can't figure this out, some of the ladies that have fully transitioned all the way through to post opp they feel like they don't belong here anymore.  >:( that they have outgrown this place. saying that it's always the same old prattling and the conversations are kind of depressing. They just can't wait to go out and explore the world with their new plumbing. Well I came back after being away for 7 years and I am so grateful to be back among you girls. The stories of your struggles and successes, our strengths and weakness, and not letting your failures take you down, but picking yourselves off the floor and simply resume forging ahead. Your many questions have all been a learning experience to me. I think it is wonderful to see you folks on Susan's again.

Some of the members here are young enough to be my grand kids, but good kids, really. I love every last one of them like they were truly my grandchildren/children. You all have a much different more mature way of looking at things and how to deal with them. Your personalities and attitudes are also different then most other kids you see out there for certain. I love you all, much, and to tell the truth I sometimes I felt a bit of envy for some of you.

This board is good for me. As for the last seven years I had to utilise pure instinct along with using trial and error, having no outside help to show me how, I just taught myself what clothes I should wear, my mannerisms, how to do make up and all that there neat stuff. To tell the truth after being away from here for a couple of months I had all but forgotten about this place as well.  I done a lot of fantasizing from all the way back to when I was a little kid, I could imagine myself being a girl in my mind even way before I learned anything about being what Trans folks meant. Being here helps me to learn about your strengths and weaknesses. So I learned things from you all as well. Susan's is not unlike not to unlike a classroom. Some have even said that we need to have balls the size of the Empire State Building to pull this off. Well that might be so but those little buggers  in your slacks, bluejeans,  skirt, dress, or britches, a flower sack what ever. Those nuances will be gone after the big snip no longer will they be hanging about makin a nuisance of themselves.

We should all qualify the badge of bravery and honor and a glass of milk with hero cookies for all as well,( Just makin fun.) Well in real life, you are all very brave ladies indeed. I really don't think an ordinary guy with huge balls the size of the Empire State Building could go through  what we had to go through just even in order to survive. I found that this journey is the best thing I could have done with my life. Maybe I was charmed or something because I never experienced much of the things a lot of the girls experienced on their journey. I am proud and honored to be lady with the bag of humor. "hee, hee, hee."

Cindy 

I am a biological female who gets called Sir a lot. The only thing about it that bothers me is the supreme embarrassment it causes the other person.

I prefer None title.

My partner and I are a pair of over-50 dykes who are referred to as The Girls by everyone. There's irony there on a couple of levels....

-- None Sue

Hi Sue, welcome to Susan's, I do pray that you will find the answers to your, no doubt many questions. I do believe you will find many anywheres from the good folks here, if not then directions on how to find them. Dyke's huh, Well technically anyway I suppose you could classify Wing Walker and I dyke's. Do Dyke's also come in a small packages?  ;D

Cindy 

Quote from: cindybc on February 05, 2008, 04:29:42 PM
Do Dyke's also come in a small packages?  ;D

Cindy 

to answer this question  cindy yes they do  :)

I usually get ma'am, especially at airports, where they use it profusely while rummaging through my luggage.  ::)
I've been sir -ed acouple of times but that was ages ago.
I get called 'mate' alot, which is really irritating as guys in Ausland use it for men and women.  ::)
Been called 'bitch' and '->-bleeped-<-got'.  Oh well, name calling is a passtime in this country.  :-\

Thanks debbie.j
I am shorter then the average woman out there  in public. Wing Walker keeps an eye on me that I don't get lost in the crowds.

Hi Buttercup I much prefer the labels that women have for each other then the guys have, bitch being the most common.

Cindy

yw Cindy ahh i see  thats cool that wing walker keeps a eye on you.  :)i remember how that was like when

i was really young. now iam  6 ft with out heels on

It seems as though there are 2 forms of address being discussed:  in writing and in greeting. 

For me as far as writing goes, Ms. seems most appropriate, especially if the other person doesn't know my marital status.  No one has ever called me "mizz" to my face.

As for vocal greetings, I haven't been called "sir" in quite a while and I hope it doesn't happen again.  In the midwest where I live, "miss" usually denotes a younger gal, and "ma'am" usually denotes an older woman (30s +).  It kind of depends on the other person's upbringing.  I get about half and half, but I also find a lot of people aren't into the whole title thing and just leave it off.

But to answer the question, I prefer Miss in public interaction.  I perceive it as though the other person perceived me as younger than I actually am.  I know, how vain of me.

Hi Debbie.j
You're the same height as Wing Walker. I'm 5' 3" tall, I would need to stand on  a stool to kiss her. But no problem, she bends down for kissing.

Cindy 

Quote from: cindybc on February 05, 2008, 07:12:13 PM
Hi Debbie.j
You're the same height as Wing Walker. I'm 5' 3" tall, I would need to stand on  a stool to kiss her. But no problem, she bends down for kissing.

Cindy 

hiyea cindy thats cool  and i see  and thats great that wing walker does that . i tryed something like that

when i was younger. bad mistake on my part the stool went one way.  and i went the other  big time ouch :P

Hi Debbie.j
Well I was always the runt, well that is what some of the kids called me the runt at school but I was the runt at home as well, my sister being some taller then me. I had really wonderful parents though. I use to bug the heck out of my mom with my yakking about anything, like telling her about one of my adventures through the day and tugging on her apron when I thought she wasn't listening to me . When she got tiered of my yammering she would send me to my dad. I would climb up into his comfy chair with him and squeeze myself between him and the chairs arm and then I would be pestering my dad with incessant questions. Well I probably learned more from them then I did at school. I am not to certain if I'm still on topic or not, so I will terminate this post now

Cindy

Quote from: cindybc on February 06, 2008, 03:51:28 AM
Hi Debbie.j
Well I was always the runt, well that is what some of the kids called me the runt at school but I was the runt at home as well, my sister being some taller then me. I had really wonderful parents though. I use to bug the heck out of my mom with my yakking about anything, like telling her about one of my adventures through the day and tugging on her apron when I thought she wasn't listening to me . When she got tiered of my yammering she would send me to my dad. I would climb up into his comfy chair with him and squeeze myself between him and the chairs arm and then I would be pestering my dad with incessant questions. Well I probably learned more from them then I did at school. I am not to certain if I'm still on topic or not, so I will terminate this post now

Cindy

hiyea cindy :) i know what you mean i kinda was the runt too. compared to my6 other borthers :P but

iam tall as them almost now. i used to drive my mom nutys with lots of questions too :P well we my or

not be on topic . but at lest we can relate  :)

Hi Debbie.j I am thankful to be small now. I use to hate it when I was younger. Had to work twice as hard to prove to the guys I was just as man as they were. Sometimes performing some very dangerous stunts just to get their attention. You know, the usual displaying of the el muchoness stuff. I was lucky to have survived long enough to tell this story today. Life in the fast lane? I believe it is called, yes for certain. I didn't graduate from the school of nuttyness until I was close to 40 years old. To much boos took me down in the end.

Well at least now I am just a small funny lady that most people love. I still have enough mischief in me to share with others around me. Yep with my bag of humor I finally broke the ice with the nice folks that live here in Vancouver. Just the other day I was telling jokes to these folks at the Jeep dealer. While Wing Walker was wheeling and dealing with the nice folks there and I'll be danged she did succeed to weasel them out of a 2007 Jeep Liberty. Well I told them I was going to charge them for my jokes, 10 cents per line. ;D  Have a wonderful evening.

Cindy

in deed cindy i know what you mean  and theres not a thing wrong with that at all cindy hun :) cool

wing walker sounds really cool too  :) maybe 20 cents for the one liners too :P you have a great evening

too cindy  :)

I like to be called Ma'am in direct address. And that's exactly what everyone calls me. At my age, no way would I be "Miss."

I prefer Ms. with my name; fortunately, that is now the standard in the USA so my wishes are consistently met. Yes, I am a staunch feminist and proud of it. I have no use for any survivals of the patriarchal order in which a woman's marital status had to be specified because her legal definition as a person was obliterated by marriage--the doctrine of "feme covert (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feme_covert)" by which a married woman had no legal existence apart from that of her husband, which is why the Miss/Mrs. distinction used to be important. It wasn't just a stylistic matter, it signaled a very real difference in your rights. I'm glad those days are gone.

Either Miss or Ma'am is acceptable. I'm really too old to be Miss, as the feel is more for a younger woman, but I don't feel as old as I am, and I can appreciate Miss as a compliment. I was Miss when I was 20 years old, which was many years ago. Why change it?

Well in my life I been Ma'am about 4 times and Miss twice. I prefer Miss.


Anna

I get miss-d now and then but for the most part I get ma'm-ed. Got some compliments on my new hair style over the weekend which has made me feel good about myself. Cheeeeeez this board is slow today, like trying to wring out the last drop of water out of a dish rag. Me board, going out for a bit. 

Cindy

I voted Mrs:

Because I want to be married to a very loving man and be his wife and wish that I could give birth to our children.

HRH or Her Majesty would work for me.   Until then, Ms. will suffice.

I live in rural Central Florida, so I'm called Mam a lot. Miss too which is appropriate as I'm not married however I understand this is the south so I get a lot of Mam's.

However, I chose Miss for it's appropriate to my current relationship status.

Allie :icon_flower: