Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: born2learn on March 15, 2006, 04:44:57 AM Return to Full Version
Title: how to come out to tell family?
Post by: born2learn on March 15, 2006, 04:44:57 AM
Post by: born2learn on March 15, 2006, 04:44:57 AM
I live with my parent. They dont know the change but they know my clothes change and my brother a pain to talk to, he often over judge things. I cant talk to him. I did tell my cousin and she dont understand why i change. It weird i tell my friend and they happy to hear it and ok with it. I also got some that just confuse, other hate me. So, now i dont know if i even should tell my family. Even if I'm going to tell them. How can i do it???
Title: Re: how to come out to tell family?
Post by: Kimberly on March 15, 2006, 05:03:23 AM
Post by: Kimberly on March 15, 2006, 05:03:23 AM
Unless you sever all ties with family in my opinion they have a right to know, in addition to that I think it is pretty safe to say that once you get to a certain point you basically no longer want to hide.
When just starting out I advise to be very careful and be picky whom you tell. See how they react to the general subject before hand to help gage their expected reaction. That is generally a good way to go with anyone, parents included.
In my particular case my father asked me what was bothering me, I basically said that I was tired of being a boy. The conversation progressed from there. This worked for me in part because I am old enough and Mum and Dad know me well enough to trust my judgment; Our relationship is and has been very strong.
Who and how to tell people depend on a great number of things, what worked for me may not work for someone else;
I hope this is of some help to you.
When just starting out I advise to be very careful and be picky whom you tell. See how they react to the general subject before hand to help gage their expected reaction. That is generally a good way to go with anyone, parents included.
In my particular case my father asked me what was bothering me, I basically said that I was tired of being a boy. The conversation progressed from there. This worked for me in part because I am old enough and Mum and Dad know me well enough to trust my judgment; Our relationship is and has been very strong.
Who and how to tell people depend on a great number of things, what worked for me may not work for someone else;
I hope this is of some help to you.
Title: Re: how to come out to tell family?
Post by: Gill on March 15, 2006, 12:41:32 PM
Post by: Gill on March 15, 2006, 12:41:32 PM
Hi there:
Yes it so hard to begin the process of "telling". What I found helpful when I had to tell my family was to have someone who is on your side with you. Would one of your friends help you out with this? Having an ali with you can give you strength.
I hope this helps.
Gill
Yes it so hard to begin the process of "telling". What I found helpful when I had to tell my family was to have someone who is on your side with you. Would one of your friends help you out with this? Having an ali with you can give you strength.
I hope this helps.
Gill
Title: Re: how to come out to tell family?
Post by: Melissa on March 15, 2006, 12:50:38 PM
Post by: Melissa on March 15, 2006, 12:50:38 PM
I had my wife to be on my side when I told my parents. It was very helpful.
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: how to come out to tell family?
Post by: born2learn on March 16, 2006, 03:22:25 AM
Post by: born2learn on March 16, 2006, 03:22:25 AM
well, my friend on my side but they are busy with two full time job. I like to tell them but my dad is hard headed and dont listen to reason. It was worst when i join the military. I have to sign in first then go tell them. sure enough when i tell them i want to join the military, there first word is no. So, i say oh well too bad i enlisted. now they ask me why i dont continue. gee...
Seem like i want to find a place to stay have everything done half way and then tell them so when they say no, and threaten me if i do it i cant stay with them. Then i can find a place to stay :D
Can feel that my cousin think im crazy already.. havent hear from them for a long time..
But thanks for all your help. That was very helpful. I guess i just need the right time to tell them.
Seem like i want to find a place to stay have everything done half way and then tell them so when they say no, and threaten me if i do it i cant stay with them. Then i can find a place to stay :D
Can feel that my cousin think im crazy already.. havent hear from them for a long time..
But thanks for all your help. That was very helpful. I guess i just need the right time to tell them.