Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: Hazumu on April 09, 2006, 11:43:31 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: Hazumu on April 09, 2006, 11:43:31 AM
Post by: Hazumu on April 09, 2006, 11:43:31 AM
Well, I've stumbled on another thing that requires considerable thought, and perhaps some unlearning.
For years, I've been using the pronouns 'Dude' and 'You guys' to refer equally to both sexes - i.e., I come up to a group of three female coworkers and say, "Hey, what'cha guys doin?" Or hearing a bit of good news that happened to a female subordinate (getting selected as a candidate for employee of the quarter, say,) saying, appreciatively, "DU-U-UDE!".
Again, in my mind, the gender reference is vestigal.
Until now...
I was at my first TG/TS support meeting last night, and was invited by two of the members to go to the TS-friendly bar across the street. They suggested I go on ahead. I said, "Nah, I'll wait for you guys..." (<cringe>!!!Oh F#<% Oh S#!^ Oh Dear -- What did I just say???)
The dilemma seems to be to bow to yet another form of Politically Correct speaking, or risk offending others...
I guess faux pas's are to be expected...
Karen
For years, I've been using the pronouns 'Dude' and 'You guys' to refer equally to both sexes - i.e., I come up to a group of three female coworkers and say, "Hey, what'cha guys doin?" Or hearing a bit of good news that happened to a female subordinate (getting selected as a candidate for employee of the quarter, say,) saying, appreciatively, "DU-U-UDE!".
Again, in my mind, the gender reference is vestigal.
Until now...
I was at my first TG/TS support meeting last night, and was invited by two of the members to go to the TS-friendly bar across the street. They suggested I go on ahead. I said, "Nah, I'll wait for you guys..." (<cringe>!!!Oh F#<% Oh S#!^ Oh Dear -- What did I just say???)
The dilemma seems to be to bow to yet another form of Politically Correct speaking, or risk offending others...
I guess faux pas's are to be expected...
Karen
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: stephanie_craxford on April 09, 2006, 12:59:06 PM
Post by: stephanie_craxford on April 09, 2006, 12:59:06 PM
Up here where I live I too have caught myself in similar situations. However it doesn't seem to be such a big deal though as I've heard females referring to other females as "Hey guys" or "Hey you guys" and I don't believe that any one was offended. Personally I have never heard a girl refer to another girl as "Dude" but who the heck can keep up with all the latest lingo these days. Bad means good, and wicked means great/awesome etc... :)
I do try and make a point of referring to females "Hey you girls", "Hey you ladies", and if it's a mixed group I use "Guys" or "Folks". Given our situation I just think that we maybe more sensitive to these issues now.
Just my .02
Steph
I do try and make a point of referring to females "Hey you girls", "Hey you ladies", and if it's a mixed group I use "Guys" or "Folks". Given our situation I just think that we maybe more sensitive to these issues now.
Just my .02
Steph
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: Annie Social on April 09, 2006, 01:00:29 PM
Post by: Annie Social on April 09, 2006, 01:00:29 PM
I've never used 'dude' that way (or any other way, for that matter), but I use 'guys' to refer to both sexes all the time, and never had anyone take offense. I can see it being a problem in the singular ("Hey, guy, what's up?"), but I think it's okay as long as you are using it in the plural ("I'll meet you guys there").
Just don't follow it up with "Okay, gentlemen?" ;D
Annie
Just don't follow it up with "Okay, gentlemen?" ;D
Annie
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: jan c on April 09, 2006, 02:38:42 PM
Post by: jan c on April 09, 2006, 02:38:42 PM
My very recent experience has included two twenty-something female roommates; it is usual for these girls to call pretty much everyone 'dude'; also in clearly PC and *sensitive* Berkeley, where the waitress knows, ok? no prob., for the girls and in-between me to be called 'you guys'.
Dood.
Dood.
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: umop ap!sdn on April 09, 2006, 03:29:07 PM
Post by: umop ap!sdn on April 09, 2006, 03:29:07 PM
Just explain that you would have said the same thing if they were GGs. :)
I used to know a GG who, in IM chat, would use "dude!" as an interjection. Well, after I came out to her we discussed it and agreed that it was okay since she used it around other women anyways. This of course earned me the nickname Dudette. :D
I used to know a GG who, in IM chat, would use "dude!" as an interjection. Well, after I came out to her we discussed it and agreed that it was okay since she used it around other women anyways. This of course earned me the nickname Dudette. :D
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: HelenW on April 09, 2006, 03:42:17 PM
Post by: HelenW on April 09, 2006, 03:42:17 PM
I've considered this myself and I suspect that a group of GG's would have no problems with being called "you guys" but a group of transwomen might!
So, I suppose the context of the conversation, who I was talking to, would make a difference how I would put it. Not so different from any other situation, though, I always try to consider who I'm talking to before I speak. Doesn't always work though, which is why I once said to two female coworkers who were complaining about mood swings (I'm not really out at work!), "Ahh, hormones. I can't wait!"
*priceless*
helen
So, I suppose the context of the conversation, who I was talking to, would make a difference how I would put it. Not so different from any other situation, though, I always try to consider who I'm talking to before I speak. Doesn't always work though, which is why I once said to two female coworkers who were complaining about mood swings (I'm not really out at work!), "Ahh, hormones. I can't wait!"
*priceless*
helen
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: Melissa on April 09, 2006, 05:13:10 PM
Post by: Melissa on April 09, 2006, 05:13:10 PM
Personally I don't get offended, because I ask myself whether they are saying that out of habit or just to spite me. In just about every circumstance it is out of habit.
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: Hazumu on April 09, 2006, 06:47:14 PM
Post by: Hazumu on April 09, 2006, 06:47:14 PM
Thanks for all your advice, so far.
It's new territory, with new rules (at least for me ;) .)
Karen
It's new territory, with new rules (at least for me ;) .)
Karen
Title: Re: Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns
Post by: Chaunte on April 09, 2006, 10:53:12 PM
Post by: Chaunte on April 09, 2006, 10:53:12 PM
In my classroom, I use "Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and girls. And everyone else in between."
It usually gets a giggle. I don't believe that nay of my students realize that I am including myself in the "inbetween."
Chaunte
It usually gets a giggle. I don't believe that nay of my students realize that I am including myself in the "inbetween."
Chaunte