Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: deniz on February 27, 2008, 05:50:47 PM Return to Full Version
Title: update to my stealth love story
Post by: deniz on February 27, 2008, 05:50:47 PM
Post by: deniz on February 27, 2008, 05:50:47 PM
Hello,
this is Deniz writing 1;41 in the night. Greece time. Crying,Drinking, cursing this sadist God of mine.and my self.
I followed your advice.I did not tell him.I do not have the courage to do so. Why risk.Since i know the outcome. I made a huge argument with my lover. The main reason( that i actually invented), is that he changed, he was not so caring( as he used to be),and i told him i can not be with him anymore.
We had arguments like that in the past weeks. But the reason is not the real one. Yes guys DO change during a relationship.The honey period lasts 6-8 months.Then love comes. And i do not care.But what kept me to that relationship was HIS LOVE.HE WAS SO IN LOVE, he made me believe that if i would tell him he MIGHT accept me.After a car accident he had, he had to stay off work for a while.He became cold,but still in love. However, he did change and that made me reconsider.He loves me because he thinks i am a natal woman.When a small crisis came his love became a little less obvious.So when the HUGE crisis comes,(like me revealing my secret then what?)
so, i broke.He called 50-70 times for 2 days
then my uncle answered the phone.He told him that my mental health is fragile and it would be better to stay off.
So, i am alone again.No arms to hold me.Not his heartbeat next to me anymore.nothing.My and my body.Full of hatred. Why God?Why mother??Why dad?What will i become?Why love?:((((((((
this is Deniz writing 1;41 in the night. Greece time. Crying,Drinking, cursing this sadist God of mine.and my self.
I followed your advice.I did not tell him.I do not have the courage to do so. Why risk.Since i know the outcome. I made a huge argument with my lover. The main reason( that i actually invented), is that he changed, he was not so caring( as he used to be),and i told him i can not be with him anymore.
We had arguments like that in the past weeks. But the reason is not the real one. Yes guys DO change during a relationship.The honey period lasts 6-8 months.Then love comes. And i do not care.But what kept me to that relationship was HIS LOVE.HE WAS SO IN LOVE, he made me believe that if i would tell him he MIGHT accept me.After a car accident he had, he had to stay off work for a while.He became cold,but still in love. However, he did change and that made me reconsider.He loves me because he thinks i am a natal woman.When a small crisis came his love became a little less obvious.So when the HUGE crisis comes,(like me revealing my secret then what?)
so, i broke.He called 50-70 times for 2 days
then my uncle answered the phone.He told him that my mental health is fragile and it would be better to stay off.
So, i am alone again.No arms to hold me.Not his heartbeat next to me anymore.nothing.My and my body.Full of hatred. Why God?Why mother??Why dad?What will i become?Why love?:((((((((
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: shanetastic on February 27, 2008, 09:05:56 PM
Post by: shanetastic on February 27, 2008, 09:05:56 PM
I'm sorry about all that deniz,
Just remember though, hopefully next time you'll be able to be more truthful. I know it hurts like no other, but given some time you will hopefully begin to feel better. Just learn from your mistakes is the best thing you can do. Again, it sucks what you're going through so I'm sorry :(
Just remember though, hopefully next time you'll be able to be more truthful. I know it hurts like no other, but given some time you will hopefully begin to feel better. Just learn from your mistakes is the best thing you can do. Again, it sucks what you're going through so I'm sorry :(
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: tekla on February 27, 2008, 09:10:36 PM
Post by: tekla on February 27, 2008, 09:10:36 PM
The J. Giles Band use do to a song that had the whole crowd yelling along
I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks
So, I don't think its a TS deal, or a straight deal, gays know it, boys and girls know it - love stinks.
Though I don't think you need a neon sign around you telling people you're TS, it is something that a lover has a right to know at some point.
I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks
So, I don't think its a TS deal, or a straight deal, gays know it, boys and girls know it - love stinks.
Though I don't think you need a neon sign around you telling people you're TS, it is something that a lover has a right to know at some point.
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: Tanya1 on February 27, 2008, 11:23:34 PM
Post by: Tanya1 on February 27, 2008, 11:23:34 PM
I think he probably would have gone crazy if you were trans.
Guys do change, some slightly and some VERY dramtically.
Samething with girls too, they change as well but guys are usually more decieving and lying...
Guys do change, some slightly and some VERY dramtically.
Samething with girls too, they change as well but guys are usually more decieving and lying...
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: lady amarant on February 28, 2008, 02:48:36 PM
Post by: lady amarant on February 28, 2008, 02:48:36 PM
Deniz hon. Nothing I say is gonna make this better.
But you WILL find love again.
I'm so sorry. And I wish there was more I could to than just say that.
Simone :icon_ashamed:
But you WILL find love again.
I'm so sorry. And I wish there was more I could to than just say that.
Simone :icon_ashamed:
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: Nero on February 29, 2008, 05:36:09 AM
Post by: Nero on February 29, 2008, 05:36:09 AM
Hi Deniz.
It's better this way. If you waited and then he freaked on you for being trans, it'd probably hurt a lot more. Sorry hon.
It's better this way. If you waited and then he freaked on you for being trans, it'd probably hurt a lot more. Sorry hon.
Title: Re: update to my stealth love story
Post by: NicholeW. on February 29, 2008, 06:50:53 AM
Post by: NicholeW. on February 29, 2008, 06:50:53 AM
Deniz, you did the best thing, I think. I know it wasn't easy and now you feel like you will be alone forever. I imagine you will discover that 'forever' is much shorter than you think just now. HUGS.
Please, before you get anywhere like that close to a proposal again either have the surgery completed or be as complete as possible in your relationship with the guy (there WILL be another) in regard to your history.
Nichole
Please, before you get anywhere like that close to a proposal again either have the surgery completed or be as complete as possible in your relationship with the guy (there WILL be another) in regard to your history.
Nichole