Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi I'm a fairly new CD quickly progressing towards TS. I found this board whilst looking for TG resources. I seek guidence and understanding of my situation. So far, from the posts that I have read, everyone sounds freindly and supportive. :) I am seeking therapy right now because my reality seems a little warped! lol I just wish that my wanting to be a woman had come out when I was a teenager. Then I would have had more time to enjoy being a woman. Ahhh well, I wil enjoy what I am now.

Hi Jennifer,

Wellcome to Susans.


As you have allready seen there are all types of topics and people here in Susans. It is a great place so have a look at all that is available here in Susans. I am also a CD but I am not progress towards TS.


Alice

Hi Jennifer
Welcome to Susans!  I am a bit warped myself ;) I glad you found us here. Enjoy your time here.
Kate Alice

Thanks for the welcome! I find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being warped,  ;) and I'm glad to know that there are others like me out in this big world. I'll definitly absorb as much info as I can.

Hi Jennifer,

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! Enjoy!

Taylor

Quote from: Jennifer72 on April 18, 2006, 11:07:46 PMI just wish that my wanting to be a woman had come out when I was a teenager. Then I would have had more time to enjoy being a woman. Ahhh well, I wil enjoy what I am now.

Welcome Jennifer!

If it's any consolation, many of us have been struggling with this since babyhood, and yet haven't seriously DONE anything about it until middle-age for various reasons.

Enjoy the forum!

Quote from: Kate on April 19, 2006, 09:55:57 AM


If it's any consolation, many of us have been struggling with this since babyhood, and yet haven't seriously DONE anything about it until middle-age for various reasons.

Actually, having looked back on what I can actually remember, I can see some of the points in my life where the want of womanhood was very obvious. These were in my teen years. My guess is that this need to be a woman came out now because I have the space and ability to deal with it.

Hi Jennifer and welcome to Susans.  I was curious about 1 item in your introduction.

Quote from: Jennifer72 on April 18, 2006, 11:07:46 PM
Hi I'm a fairly new CD quickly progressing towards TS.

What do you mean by progressing towards TS.  Either you are or you aren't transsexual.  Perhaps you mean you are a transsexual who is coming out of denial.  When I first joined, the differences between the 2 were very unclear, but as I learned more, I realized I was transsexual.  Now the differences are as clear as night and day.

Here's some questions to think about:

Are you happy having a male body and just like to dress up every so often?
Have you been to a therapist to help sort out your issues?
Do you identify as a male while dressed as male?
Do you feel like there are 2 different genders in the same body or just 1 and it's different from the body?

I'm not expecting any answers, but these are more questions to ask yourself or a therapist if you decide to see one.

You can find out why I ask these questions and what their meaning is by taking a look around the forum here and taking a look at the wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/).

Melissa

Hi Jennifer,

I can relate with you. I once considered myself as a cross-dresser, but now I am a transsexual and am slowly in the process of transitioning.

Interesting line of questions there Melissa. In answer to some of them: I am not happy with my male body, and I would prefer to be wearing feminine clothes more often. I've been to several therapists, but unfortuantely they weren't too knowledgeable on transgendered issues. I identify myself as a female when I'm dressed as a male. When I'm dressed as a female, I find that I can identify myself better. And finally, yes I feel that there is a female trapped inside my male body that is screaming to get out!

Gina  :)

Thanks Melissa for your interesting questions. Sort of confirms for me I am not TS. My attitude toward dressing is also changing and I am starting to see the 'choices' Steph mentioned in a different thread.

Al

Quote from: Jennifer72 on April 19, 2006, 02:06:57 PM
Actually, having looked back on what I can actually remember, I can see some of the points in my life where the want of womanhood was very obvious. These were in my teen years. My guess is that this need to be a woman came out now because I have the space and ability to deal with it.

Consider picking up a copy of the book, "True Selves." It contains a ton of useful information, and accurately describes (in my humble opinion) many of the facets of being TS. It also describes many of the things which are NOT transsexualism, which provides an interesting contrast.

Thank you for the questions Melissa, let me say that the differences weren't clear to me. I had considered myself a crossdresser, but as time has progressed, my position has changed. I now want to be a woman all the time, not just a man in a dress. This change wasn't really apparent to me untill recently. So you might consider that I am coming out of my denial. To answer your questions,1) No I am no longer happy having a male body. (I don't think that I ever was and just didn't want to accept it) 2) I am currently seeking a therapist. Actually I just called to make an appointment and have not heard back yet. 3)No I don't identify as male while dressed as a male anymore. I am really starting to resent having to be mascline at all. 4) I'm not sure about the last, my gender identity has blurred over the last few months. Originally, there were two genders inside of me, two voices both male and female. Yet, as I have been working with myself I have become aware that there are not two, but just one. This is why I am now seeking a therapist. I really appriciate your questions, this is exactly why I came here. I look for guidence where I can. Thank You again... 

Let me just add my welcome Jennifer.

There is not much that I can add how ever just to expand on Melissa's great questions is to point you to this link on Gender Identity Disorder -  GID (https://www.susans.org/wiki/GID), found in the Wiki.

Again welcome to Susan's, I'm sure that we shall chat later.

Steph

Hi Jennifer!

I can't add much to what the others have already said except my additional WELCOME to Susan's.

Many of us have been in the same fix you find yourself in and I hope you'll find as much, or even more, support and help than I have from this wonderful site.  I read "True Selves" also and heartily recommend it.  It's a bit textbook-ish but still very readable.  The whole citation:

Brown, Mildred L. and Rounsley, Chloe Ann, True Selves,  Understanding Transsexualism - For Families, Friends, Coworkers and Helping Professionals, ©1996 by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley, Jossey-Bass Publishers, San Francisco
ISBN 0-7879-0271-3

Amazon offers new and used copies, I got mine through Powell's Books.

I'll be looking forward to reading more from you and am happy again to welcome you to Susan's.

helen

Thank You all for the wonderful welcomes! :) You all have been very kind and supportive. Funny thing is that I knew I was not alone in this, but I certainly felt that way. This board and the wonderful people who frequent it reaffirm the knowlege that I am not alone. I'm getting on Amazon as we speak to order a copy of True Selves and will read the article on GID. Thank You all!

That will be a good read.  You sound very similar to myself when I first started coming out of denial.  I had done some crossdressing myself in private, but I had an event happen that caused me to come out of denial.  It took me about 2-3 weeks of research from that point to realize that I was in fact transsexual and quite a bit longer to fully accept that.  It probably took me about a month and half from realization to acceptance.  During that time period I was on Susans perusing all the posts and asking questions.  True selves was one of the books I read during this period and helped to confirm what I already had strong suspicions about.

Now that I have started my road of transition, I have no doubts whatsoever and have already become happier.  I was experiencing severe depression and panic attacks everytime I looked in the mirror.  A lot of anxiety about not getting rid of my maleness too.  Once I started hormones, it was a huge relief and now I feel like even when I'm not doing anything, at least the hormones are.

I have had my share of panicking, especially lately as I can almost taste RLT, but at the same time know that it's still a little ways in the future.  I think that once we are able to reach certain points in transition, it can get mentally easier.  There may be external influences that make it more difficult, but at least it won't be internal stress.

Melissa

Melissa, interestesingly enough, it was an event that also triggered me into action. Scince then I have been actively persuing understanding. I look forward to reading True Selves. I am fortunate to say that my bouts with depression and anxiety have been fairly mild and brief. I don't know if this will change and certainly hope that it doesn't get worse than it has been already. I am curious though, one of the things that I really have been dreading, is telling my parents that I am transgender. I'm sure that my mom would be pretty accepting, but my dad, well he's very old school, a real "A man's a man and a woman is a woman" kinda guy. Has anybody here had any experience with telling their parents, and what was thier reaction?

I did tell my parents back in November and the results have not been great.  They are resistant about me transitioning, but at the same time, they still want to keep me as their child.  I can't talk about it right now.  I was working for my parents and now I don't have a job.

Melissa

Ooooo... I'm sorry Melissa. I am actually in a similar situation. I hope that your parents come around. You definitely have a sister here. I don't know where in the world that you are, but if I can ever help, just let me know. Big Hugz to you.

welcome jennifer im barely out of my teens and i dont know when ill ever go through with it(the transition)im glad you are smart enough not to care about what other ppl want for you and your doing what you need to do for yourself :) good luck 
jaded

Welcome Jennifer,

I think I know what you meant by "moving towards TS". Although I knew that I wished I were a girl from a very early age and I enjoyed crossdressing occasionally when I was younger, I tried to convince myself that I was TV rather than TS. That would have been much easier to deal with. I even convinced my wife that I was only TV when we were first married. Over time, I came to realize that it was much more than that. As I got older, I saw that:
1) Crossdressing alone wasn't particularly satisfying for me. I felt more relaxed and relieved while crossdresing than arroused.
2) I really wanted to interact with others and be accepted as a woman rather than dress like one by myself.
3) I wanted to have a woman's body instead of what I was stuck with. The physical pain and emotional ordeal of changing my gender was worth being able to live as I felt I needed to. Having a body that matched my mental image of myself was important.
4) My therapist diagnosed me as TS.

It was only about 4 years ago that I finally accepted that I really was TS even though I think I knew it from when I was little. Now I'm still struggling with what to do about it. A big factor in my decision is my marriage of 30+ years and my deep love for my wife and children. Unlike others, I think I do have a choice. Unfortunately, neither option is easy or entirely satisfactory. For the present, I'm trying to live with myself not transitioning. It isn't easy, and I may find eventually that I really can't. I probably won't know if I'm successful until I'm in my grave.

Regardless of what you do, I've found this forum to be a good resource with friendly people who care.

Welcome to the group,

Steph

Thanks for your p.o.v. Steph. I share your feelings almost to a tee. Thanks to Melissa's thoughts and Stephanie's link to the wiki, I have just begun to accept my trasnsexuality. It has been only a few days, yet I am much happier now. I don't think that I have completely accepted myself yet, but am making progress. It is difficult especially now, for every time I look in the mirror I see myself, the woman, not the man. I can actually see myself as Jennifer (almost hallucinagenic quality). All of this has just kind of snowballed down on me in the last week. I don't know if this is what everybody else has experienced, but it seems soooo fast! Steph, I'm glad that you see that you have a choice. I think that we all do, it's just that when we have wives and children that makes it so much more difficult, in the end we have to do what makes us happy and whole. I think that there are a lot of people who are not willing to face their choices and say that there is none. It may be, also that we may have choices that aren't in sight yet too. I'm not really sure. Just as I know that I will eventually have to tell my parents that I am TS. I don't like it, but if I want to be happy then I must tell them, if I don't then I'm sure that I'll never be happy. I am willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how hard the consiquences to be happy in my life. If you have that much love for your wife and kids, I would hope that it is reciprocated and that they will understand and love you no matter what. I know it isn't easy. I know how hard it is for me and I'm just at the tip of the iceburg.

I'll add my welcome, too, Jennifer.

I think many of us were in denial at some point. 

I can trace my GID back to age 9 but, having been almost caught in my mother's clothes, I put it in deep denial.  For decades I thought I just had a lingerie fetish.

It was beginning to walk on a spiritual path coupled with joining the Internet generation that brought my breakthrough at age 58.  The "I'm a crossdresser" phase lasted two years.  I started counseling at age 60 to understand my strong urge to wear women's clothing.  After 4 months, the therapist said, "Robyn, I have good news and bad news."

"What's the good news, Doctor?"

"You're not a cross dresser."

"Hey, great.  Maybe I can save my marriage after all.  Um... What's the bad news?"

"You're a transsexual.  What are you going to do about it?"

The rest, as they say, is history.  Two years later, I had SRS, and I've been married to my husband for 6 years now.

Tomorrow night, we'll see my ex at a birthday party.

Life goes on.  Enjoy the journey, which doesn't end with transition.

Thanks for the welcome, Robyn! :) I have been able to remember down to about highschool age. I think that I was about 16 or 17. I never did go to my prom, but I do remember looking at all the pretty dresses and wishing that I was the one going to the prom in one of those lovely dresses. Heh, it's funny how I never really figured it out untill now. Deep denial, I suppose. I'm not afraid to transition, I was serious when I said that I will do whatever it takes to be happy! I almost forgot to say, thanks for your inspirational words Robyn. It does take a lot of courage to make the transition.

Jennifer