Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, I am having way more grief hitting since chest surgery, three weeks back.
Some of the issue may be that I am having complications, and feeling worried if I am getting enough / proper care at this point.
I remain in some pain, as well.

I hadn't expected to be this low energy at this point.

I also have a funny mix of wanting to ignore all restrictions, and just go off and ....live. 

I was a very large chested person, and am wondering if that creates some additional mental / emotional challenge during the recovery time here.....don't get me wrong, super happy to have had the surgery, but the grief of 31 years with a chest I didn't want / like is now hitting me full on like a ton of bricks to use some cheap common expression.  It is an insane amount of grief sometimes.

I am now trying to spend more times with friends, but it's hard, as my health is pretty challenged still, due to complications, primarily.  I am getting bodywork help here at home (I have always gotten lots of bodywork as an adult, that's common for me), and that helps, but I am friggin depressed sometimes right now.  I am expecting it must be a temporary grief, but it sucks and has really surprised me.

I have been on T for close to 18 months, been transitioning this time (initially started in 94, but abandoned it fairly early on), for close to three years.......

this sucks right now.

hey i also was large chested pre op and talked a lil about i how i felf after on a video on youtube here is the the link http://www.youtube.com/user/jsjadednight
i hope you feel better! and congrats on the surgery!

Hey, thanks, jaded.
I just watched your video.  Your chest looks great! 

I realized during the night last night that my breasts were so large before, and I was so uncomfortable with them, that they were the main thing I personally noticed about my body.  Even when attempting to bind them, which just couldn't work all that well, as they were so large, I felt them, weight wise, and just felt them, more than I felt my mid torso and upper torso area.  So I think that has a lot to do with how I feel right now.  Trying to learn to just feel that part of my body, but without the large breasts I was so accustomed to.  Breathing is very very very different now, and feels very odd.  I feel uncomfortable, but it's not because I wanted them.  I just am very unused to this.

Thanks for writing....I am doing what I can to cope with the complications, too, and expecting I may need revisions.  I will eventually adapt, mentally, but it's been a lot to process.
Joseph

hi and thank you i hope you watched the video were  i spoke about how i felt after its a lil old so you would need to go back a lil'
but thanx for watching them i thought maybe the 1 im talikng about might be helpfull....
i did have revision on the 24th of feb and am very glad i did i didnt want to be 1 of those ppl that "needed'' a revision but im happy i did and it was at no fault of my doctor anyhoo embrace your new chest its yours youve earned it ! i also wanted to ad that the chest takes quite a while to heal after a surgery as major as what we had and it might be awhile b4 we know the end result
good luck!
p.s what name do you go by here(what should i call you)?

Joseph works for my name.
Thanks for the input on having some patience.
It is seeming more major than I was led to believe, somehow.

I appreciate hearing other people's stories about recovery.
Thanks.