Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well i have just told my boss I have been having personal issues. Do not know how it will play out but I have not told him any details as he does not work at my locations. Other female co-workes I may tell a bit more as the see me stuggle from time to time.

Has anyone approach a deversity manager at their worK? What was the outcome?

Alice

Are you planning on transitioning then?

Melissa

No - I will continue the stuggle of being a simple CD.

Alice

Then why did they need to know?  Was it affecting your work?  If it is you may want to see a therapist (if you're not already).  Reason being is that it may be more serious than just CD if it's affecting your work.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on June 02, 2006, 01:15:40 AM
Then why did they need to know?  Was it affecting your work?  If it is you may want to see a therapist (if you're not already).  Reason being is that it may be more serious than just CD if it's affecting your work.

Melissa

Was is affecting my work - Yes
Do I have a therapist - Yes

For myself Alice, I was in full transition and coming out at work was the last place to come out to/in.  I sent letters to my General manager, and the Senior VP of HR who is also out senior diversity manager.  Those letters led to a meeting between the three of us where we mapped out my transition at work.  It was hugely successful, one of the best moves I've ever made, that's for sure.

Having said that, Melissa raises good points so be very sure you want to do this.  If you haven't already done so, have a look at the Wiki article found  here (https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace) to give you an idea of how to go about this, keeping in mind that the article is geared towards Transsexuals.

Hope this helps.  Take care.

Steph

I don't believe my firm as a "deversity manager" But I did have a similar experience with my VP (boss)
I waited till an appropriate time when she offered me a promotion because I had planned on Transition at another job to avoid the whole issue of co-workers still wanting to call me by my male name out of habit & constantly seeing me has a male regardless of what I did to alter my physical appearence. So I made it common knowledge that I was leaving the firm due to another better offer

But I believe in being completly honest (if there is such a thing OK maybe 98% honest  ;D )
So right before she handed me this offer letter I said to her
"There is something I need to let you know before you hand me that piece of paper. I'm going through a change right now in my life. to clarify that, I intend to no longer live my life as a male but has a female." so she looked at me puzzled and to my amazement actually said " I don't see where that has any bearing on your ability to perform the job I know only you can do." She then proceeded to hand me the offer letter and discuss salary increases maybe she was being politically correct in her statement but I honestly think she was being sincere. She since has moved on & up in the company and costantly sends me job recomendations that (according to her) maximize my potential and better suit my abilities. Unfortunantly I always decline these offers for I hate being in the spot light (sort of speak) more of a background step up only to speak type of girl. besides Im focusing on ME right now and have no time to worry about career moves

FYI
Prior to the conversation we had. I had blonde micro braids in my hair at the time so it really wasn't to hard to figure out what was actually happening with me.

Being all I can be, without military aid!
Chynna

hey alice is that you in the picture? if it is you look really good  :)

Yes - Thats my picture - I went and had some glamor shots taken a few weeks ago - you can read about it in the thread https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2603.20.html.

Alice

When I came out at work, I invited my "Boss" out for a coffee and a talk. I am a contractor, I told him that I was nervous about what I had to tell him because I was sure that in telling him that I would probably lose alot of the friendships that had been built and also I feared losing the respect of my co workers. I told him that I was telling him 1) because I considered him a friend and I didn't want him to hear this scond hand. 2) I felt it was his decision to make wiether I would be a liability that he was willing to work with, in his operation. I told him that I am going to be blunt " I am transsexual and I am transitiomning to became and live my life as a woman." He sat back and thought a minute then said "Is that all?" I said "Isn't that enough?" He said "I've lived long enough and seen plenty, this doesn't bother me." What a relief. I was sure that my carrer was over but was determined that I was going to start on my journey, with this first step.

I wish I could transistion at my current work in SW FL, but I am sure the school would terminate my employment since there are no laws protecting me.

Quote from: Gabrielle on June 11, 2006, 06:13:54 PM
I wish I could transistion at my current work in SW FL, but I am sure the school would terminate my employment since there are no laws protecting me.

Gabrielle,
Never say never!.....I work for a fortune 500 company and have a highly visible position (interaction with bank clientel etc.) I thought for sure they would find someway to "eliminate" me.
But I got to the point where I was like "hey you guys need me to generate revenue so if you can't accept ME then I'll take a lower pay job working for someone who will"

BUT BY NO MEANS AM I SUGGESTING YOU TRANSITION AT WORK..

I'm just saying never use the word or have the mentallity of "can't".
Because if you are transgender the word "can't" should be in your vocabulary because we make the impossible possible! (metaphorically speaking)

Chynna

PS Steph love the new pic!!!!!!Fabulous

Quote from: Gabrielle on June 11, 2006, 06:13:54 PM
I wish I could transistion at my current work in SW FL, but I am sure the school would terminate my employment since there are no laws protecting me.

Hello Gabrielle.

Not knowing your legal standing in SW FL, I won't advise you to come out at work.  But I'll tell you this.  I, employed as the Driver development and Safety Officer in a huge North American school bus company, and I had the same fears as you that I would be terminated.  Even though I have daily interaction with children of all ages, drivers parent, teacher, school officials, it hasn't happened.  Yes there have been a couple of complaints about me and I've gotten a couple of nasty phone calls, but company backs me 100%.  They measure my performance, and as long as my job performance doesn't suffer, then I have nothing to worry about.  Since i came out my performance has improved so much so that I was a key reason for out branch receiving a very prestigious award for two years running.  In fact their answer to the complaints is simple "What does this have to do with her performance".

Yep it's a huge risk, and a big step to take, one that should not be taken lightly.

Steph

I just fell apart when my boss wanted somthing simple and again told him that I have issues to deal with. I told him that I have been seing a cousilor for about a year and I am going to Sydney to see what others with my problem are doing.

He said he will support me. I hope it turns out OK.

I have been so good last week feeling happy with myself and this week those feeling have been slowly creaping into my soul that it just burst given the correct trigger. I wish I saw that coming.

Alice

I dont work in a structured place like it sounds many of you do. I just work in a bookstore lol. I guess my career is pretty low and minor. I cant see even having meetings and stuff, but I guess thats how other jobs are. I've never seen HR department, since at our store level there is just 3 managers.

Where I work diversity just means the longer you work here, de vorse dat it gets.

I did hear of another office actually having someone who is a CD who is allowed to come to work dressed.  I believe that the person goes by a femme name at that time but I think uses the men's room since she is not TS.  That is secondhand info so who knows what the truth may be.  I have never met her at all but it did take a bit educating some of my coworkers on how I was very different from her.

Good luck with everything.

((((Hugs))))

Quote from: Gabrielle on June 11, 2006, 06:13:54 PM
I wish I could transistion at my current work in SW FL, but I am sure the school would terminate my employment since there are no laws protecting me.

Gabrielle,

Maybe I can help...

1) First off, talk this over with your counselor very carefully.  When are you thinking of transitioning?  (My personal recommendation would be between academic years.  Give everyone a good, long lead time to learn about ->-bleeped-<- / transexuality.)  You are going to be a trailblazer in your district, and there is a lot of baggage that comes with this role.  Are you up to the challenge?

2) There is a book available on Amazon.com on transioning in the workplace.  Get it.  Read it.  Then purchase several copies because you will be giving them away.  It's a few years old, but it will give the upper echelons a warm & cozy feeling knowing that they are not the first employers to have an employee who transitions.

3) Are you a school teacher?  If so, contact your state education office and ask for the procedures for someone who transitions.

4) Is your school unionized?  If so, contact your state and/or national offices about transtioning and how they can support you.  If not, chat with the American Civil Liberties Union and ask for assistance.

5) Contact your buildiing rep and say that you would like to speak with an open-minded rep concerning a delicate matter.  A female rep would probably be best.  Personal observation is that many males are threatened by someone changing from male to female sex.  It's almost like we are being traitors tothe men of the world.  (Such is life...!)  Talk over the timeline you are thinking of.  Offer to show the rep images of you as Gabrielle, but don't force them on her.  Give a copy of the book to the rep to read.

6) Do you have a diversity manager?  Once you have talked with your union rep, go see your diversity manager.  If you feel uncomfortable seeing your diversity manager alone, bring your union rep.  Talk timeline again.  Have images at the ready, but don't force the issue.  Give a copy of the book to the manager to read.

7) Time to talk with your principal or your manager if you are not a teacher.  Bring the union rep and the diversity manager with you.  Have the book and images ready.  At a guess, you have a 50/50 chance that the manager/principal will want to see Gabrielle.  If they say no, don't be offended.  The principal and department manager are going to be skittish because they are the ones who have to interact with the general public.  If you are calm and confident, they will be calmer as well.  Talk over when its time to talk with the Superintendent.

8 ) Talk with your superintendent.  Bring the rep, department manager and/or principal and the diversity manager.  Bring the book.  Have the images ready.  Don't be surprised if they don't want to see the pictures just yet.

9) time to talk with the school board president and the school's lawyers.  Bring your entourage with you, just as you have to every other meeting.  Your rep will be of crucial importance.  Based on what happened at #8, you might want to have a union attorney with you as well.  Don't go looking for a fight, but simply be prepared.

10) Time to let your department know.  If ther is someone you can trust, tell that person.  You will want someone cheering you on when you tell everyone else.

11) First day of the new school year.  You come in as Gabrielle and start to live your true life.

Yes, I am going through this procedure.  No, New York State does not have any laws protecting the transgendered community directly.  Nevertheless, my state ed simply wants proof of gender change from my doctor and counselor.  NEA is looking for a fight and said they will back me to the hilt.

Right now, I am scheduling a meeting with my principals (2 of 'em!), so that puts me at Step 7.  My timeline put me at the start of the '07/'08 academic year at the absolute very earliest.

You can do this.  It takes preparation to get everything ready. 

Time to get to work...

Chaunte 
(aka Captain Science!  Defender of data, logical analysis and the Scientific Method!)